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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Mar192009

They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha Haa!

Ho ho, heehee, haha, they're coming to take me away!!!

I'm not sure what these things are supposed to be, but they've been popping up at bakeries all across the U.S. lately. Could the carrot jockeys have some competition on their hands?

"Soon, your race of sugar-craving giant sloths shall be OURS. Thaaat's right, we're cute, aren't we? You want to take us hooome, and show us all your financial staaaatements."

These guys are going less for "cute" and more for "mortal terror":

"The claaaaaw! The claw will choose who will go, who will stay, and who will have his or her face rearranged."

Look, they even have a naval division:

"We're Popped-Eyes, the sailor blobs,
We're Popped-Eyes, the sailor blobs,
You won't want to finish,
'Cuz we taste like spinach,
We're Popped-Eyes the sailor blobs!"

Nancy H., Bridget D., Siiri L. & Heather K., I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats. Really.

(Now we get to find out which of you were around in the 60s. Let the age-determining comments begin!)

UPDATE: The general consensus seems to be these are "frog cakes". More info here.

UPDATE UPDATE: No, they're not supposed to be Bob from Monsters vs Aliens. What, you think I would miss a kids' movie tie-in? Give me a little credit, eh?

« First Impressions | Main | Carrot Jockeys Make Excellent Ground Troops »

Reader Comments (268)

lobs from Aliens vs Monsters? That new movie? The rest are icky, but the last ones might have a purpose.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCrayl

I enjoyed your little rendition of the Popeye song immensely. Also, my cousin used to have an old record she bought at a yard sale with that song on it. When we were kids we used to sing it and run around the house. Looking back, that really explains a lot about how we turned out...

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkrissyranae

I wasn't born until '86 but my Dad used to sing this to me as I was getting ready for bed as a kid and I would just laugh!!!!

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSmittyChic

I had that song on an 8-track tape of silly songs - so I'm guessing you are my age - 42.
also, what are those things made from?? some look like maybe built around upside down cake cones. and what are the little sailor hats made from?

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfaerlyn-darkelf

Mmmmmmmm, filled with antidepressants!

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLilyScornsYou

That is my theme song most days, heh. And no, I wasn't born in the 60's either, but that's the music I was raised on. As for the strange blobby wrecks, no clue what they are, and not sure I want to find out....

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJasry

I was only around for the last few months of the 60's, but listened to Dr. Demento in the 70's. Yes, I always have been a geek!

And.... what are those things?

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPhyllis

to the happy home! to the funny farm, where life is beautiful ALL the time, and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in those clean white coats and they're coming to take me away!!!!

*ahem*

Jen, you seem to be a sci-fi fan after my own heart... please tell me you love Stargate? If so... I give you: http://puddlejumper.co.uk/bay/ImNotCrazy.wmv


yet another great post. excellent toy story reference, too. :)

The melty green gang in the third picture down looks like Kermit the Frog on acid.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTig

My first thought about the red & blue ones was that they were VERY bad attempts at Cookie Monster and Elmo. I'm not sure that Adipose would make very appetising cakes either - they're cute, in a strange way, but I'd just be thinking "lard" which would put me off a bit...

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCaite

The green ones look like moray eels!

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ok, wasnt around in the 60s but you have me singing it now :) On the other hand, seriously, what are those supposed to be?

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

I now have that song stuck in my head... and a desire to eat alien sugar blobs.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMeagan

They're definitely supposed to be frogs. My dad made those every St.Patrick's day when he owned his bakery. They are an upside-down cupcake with a large wad of pink buttercream (sometimes flavored) on top, covered with green fondant (I've never seen the other colors before). Put a slit in the icing with a hot spatula for the mouth, make a tongue, put some eyes on and you're done. They sold pretty well.

As for the song, I had the single as a young kid (I'm 39 now), which had the entire song backwards as the flip side (including the title). :)

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfergojisan

I was going to say, your title just gave your age away. LOL!

Oh, yeah. I used to sing along with that song by Napoleon (#?).

Now I'm going to have that tune running around inside my head all day, thanks to you! :D

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLinda Mooney

I think they look like those globs of mucus on the Mucinex commercials. So gross!

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCarla

Haha, I love that song! :P I'm only twenty years old, but I've heard that song many a time on my mom's record player ;)

Those second ones are so adorable! :P I don't think I'd have the heart to eat them! The third, however, remind me of squashed Kermit the frog heads. And the fourth are just scary.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulianne

I'm just going to pretend they're aiming for http://www.freemagenta.nl/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/barbapappa.jpg" REL="nofollow">Barbapappa and move on....

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjackie31337

@Emilia: I played piccolo in marching bands for 9 years, and those, ma'am, are no piccolos! :-)

@Poonamelesscat: In a Shrek universe, that's exactly what they'd be. Eeeeew!

The red and blue ones look so earnest, so needy, so "Dear Deity, PLEASE get me out of here" that I want to buy them all and set them free...

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

Emilia: according to my 5-year-old, they are ducks, worms, aliens, and green snowmen respectively.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjackie31337

If I could stop giggling, I would comment.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

I think they're supposed to be Bob from that new movie "Monsters vs. Aliens". He's a blob of indestructible goo :)

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Thorley Family

They are Fish Heads Fish Heads, rolly polly fish heads!

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

The mortal terror ones look just like the so called Kaj cakes that are all over Denmark. They are yummy and they are based on the green frog character (http://www.akkc.dk/media/Kaj_og_Andrea_2007_200.jpg) from a Danish children's show.

I don't know about the rest though. :D


Dora from Iceland

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@Emilia: Piccolo is a character on Dragonball Z (don't worry, he's a good guy!) and after reading your post I totally saw the likeness!

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteramanda

Will there be basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes? :3

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAshley

I don't think I could eat something that was staring at me like that

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteramanda

Okay for all you Young-ins who don't know the song. Here it is on youtube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2o7bMdAyPes

The video is really irelevant as it really doesn't fit the song...someone just attached some visuals to it but at least you'll get to hear the full version of the song clearly.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

The top picture looks just like something the Wegmans grocery stores carry. Best part: They're filled with pink frosting, and if you jostle them too hard, you wind up with Gaping Head Wound Frog-Thing Cupcakes as the green outer shell cracks. Awesome.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCrazy Raven Productions

All I can say is: BWAHAHAHAHA!

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

I thought they might be fraggle/muppet-like creatures? Definitely getting an 80s vibe.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkara

They aren't even appetizing and coming from me....that's saying something

"They're coming to take me away! Ha ha
They're coming to take me away! Ho Ho

Hee hee ha ha, to the funny farm! Where life is beautiful all the time!
And I'll be happy to see those nice young men in the clean white coats...

They're coming to take me away! Ha ha!"

That's all I can remember from the song. My friend and I used to listen to the record (old, much?) ALOT. I was born in '71...close enough to the 60's I guess. Or too close, maybe?

Anywho, blobs of any form certainly fall into the wreck category to me. I sure as heck wouldn't eat 'em! Especially the whacked out Popeye wannabes.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrish

I vote for the new Monsters vs aliens animated movie. I remember seeing a very similar blob in the poster. Not sure about sailor hat and such. Just went and watched the movie trailer and those are most definitely one of the characters from that movie.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermissy fussy

The second photo looks a little like the guys from the La Traviata opera you posted awhile back...

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaitlyn

Actually, the bakeries in my area (Long Island NY) sell those multi colored things and the labels for them usually say they are Sesame Street characters. So the Red is Elmo, the Blue is Cookie monster, etc. Not that they look anything like them. Also, they are usually just a big pile of buttercream covered in chocolate. Occasionally, they have a slice of cake at the bottom. Totally gross.

The pop-eye song is epic. Good work.

And being a child in the 60's I loved the "Coming to take me away" song for the few weeks they deemed it ok to play on the radio.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSunshinesMom

Not sure what on Earth they're SUPPOSED to be, but they bear a vague resemblance to the Veggie Tales on my son's new-favorite DVD.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

...to the funny farm, where life is beautiful!

(born in 1969, but remember hearing this)

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter*gemmifer*

Yiiiiip yipyipyipyipyipyip Uhhhh-hon Uhhh-hon.

That is all.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRMRR

The first two remind me of a Dirty Jobs episode where he was on a Gooey Duck Farm. NASTY!

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterViolentlyHappy

Yes, I remember the song. It used to give me the creeps when I was a little kid!

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterenjis

I'm glad I'm not the only whose dad sings that song endlessly! My dad is well known for making up songs, so for the longest time I had no idea this was a real song!
Until today, I'd never actually heard the original though :)
Thanks to whoever posted that Youtube link!!!

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

the pink things in the 2nd pic look a bit like patrick star from spongebob

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterweewiccababe

are they Barba Pappas..the morphing blobs of early 80's cartoon fame?

zolofot blobs*LOL*

I like the hats on the sailor blobs.

everything else is just ble....

wv blelenti...the blobs have a high blelenti factor

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHyena Overlord

They look like a combination of Sigmund the Sea Monster and Peeps.

Maybe Sigmund and the Easter Bunny have had a love child, and its been cloned?

These are scary. But sorta cute. In a sick sort of way....

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The "things" on the third picture remind me of melted Kermits

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMella

they're frogs. at least that's what they were when they were the featured item at my 10th birthday party in 1970. they should be a cupcake with cream and jelly on top, and when the mouth slice is made you can see the red inside.

in 1970, they only came in green.

"...where life is beautiful all the time..."
yep, I can do the whole song. it was a featured highlight on the Doctor Demento AM radio program they played on my 1.5 hour school bus ride home all through junior high. the whole bus could sing along. Loved that bus driver... let us listen to the cool stuff.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAA...Popped eyes the sailor blob!!! You are too much. too too much.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpeewee

I'm not sure about the other ones, but the first set is definitely the cute gelatinous blob thing from Monsters v. Aliens.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJohn and Sarah Sperry

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