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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Mar192009

They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha Haa!

Ho ho, heehee, haha, they're coming to take me away!!!

I'm not sure what these things are supposed to be, but they've been popping up at bakeries all across the U.S. lately. Could the carrot jockeys have some competition on their hands?

"Soon, your race of sugar-craving giant sloths shall be OURS. Thaaat's right, we're cute, aren't we? You want to take us hooome, and show us all your financial staaaatements."

These guys are going less for "cute" and more for "mortal terror":

"The claaaaaw! The claw will choose who will go, who will stay, and who will have his or her face rearranged."

Look, they even have a naval division:

"We're Popped-Eyes, the sailor blobs,
We're Popped-Eyes, the sailor blobs,
You won't want to finish,
'Cuz we taste like spinach,
We're Popped-Eyes the sailor blobs!"

Nancy H., Bridget D., Siiri L. & Heather K., I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats. Really.

(Now we get to find out which of you were around in the 60s. Let the age-determining comments begin!)

UPDATE: The general consensus seems to be these are "frog cakes". More info here.

UPDATE UPDATE: No, they're not supposed to be Bob from Monsters vs Aliens. What, you think I would miss a kids' movie tie-in? Give me a little credit, eh?

« First Impressions | Main | Carrot Jockeys Make Excellent Ground Troops »

Reader Comments (268)

They kinda look like B.O.B., y'know, from that monsters vs. aliens movie?

Well, most of them.

I <3 da "popped-eyes sailor blobs"! I spat out the soda i was drinking!

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNetFreak

Could they be frogs for Passover (10 Plagues) that was my first guess.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbunnyboo72

My grandmother used to make petit-fours "frogs" at our old bakery but they looked almost nothing like this...

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKay

I'm sorry, but I think they are kinda cute. Especially the ones with the hats.

But realizing that they are made with ENTIRELY too much icing makes me a little queezy. I like icing as much as the next gal, but ooooh, that's alot of icing!!

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love that song and it was really interesting to find out more about it, so thank you for the reference and the links!

The cake aliens are rather cute; except for the third pic where they are just plain disturbing. Are we sure these are even from the same planet as the others? ;)

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaaike

Yes the second one is definitely the yip yips from Sesame Street! Drip....drip...drip...drip.drip.dripdripdripdrip

hehehe
I would eat one for sures.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy B

the green ones with the sailor hats look like slimer from ghostbusters.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMama

The melty kermit looking things I believe are turtles, not cake. You know, the pecan & caramel candies covered in chocolate? That would explain why they're so irregularly shaped and lumpy. Looks like somebody decided to try to be cute with the name turtle and give it a fact, but wreckorated it instead.

WV: dizingu - how I feel after a seeing a particularly gross wreck.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Oh my, the middle blob in the last picture should be on a shirt. Or a bag. Or a tattoo.

whant: I reaaaaallly whant that guy as a pet....

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdarkshines

I'm guessing they're a tie-in for that "Monsters vs. Aliens" movie that's coming out soon.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The second picture--the one with all of the Cookie Monsterish/Muppety guys?
What are they all STARING UP AT???
They all look so...so...UP. It makes me want to get in there, lie down on the floor beside their rack, and look up for myself to see what the deal is. Is someone up there on a ledge, poised to JUMP or something??
I couldn't work there and have to look at them staring up all the time. I'd probably keep reflexively looking up and stumble around with a permanent stiff neck.
Know what? There are a lot of really young people here, aren't there ("I wasn't around in the 60's, '70's, 80's"..etc.)? Lawdy.
Well, I remember Schmoos, too...
I'm a dinosaur (Phiphtyishaurus).
I INVENTED the sixties-when I was 10 years old!!!
Peace, man.
=^--^=

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

All these have 2 eyes, don't they? And are not blue? Not Monsters V Aliens (which btw is Dreamworks... not Disney/pixar)

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjessica

Oh my goodness,
these are worse than the "cookie monsters" they sell at our Great American Cookie in the mall! You know, the things made up of two chocolate chip cookies with with a blob of icing in the middle for a mouth, and M&Ms for eyes. They look Dis-Gus-Ting.

Hahah, and I love your Toy Story reference :] Made me giggle!

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJamieKirsten

I just showed this to my 4.5 year old daughter and she said they were cute! She must have gotten her taste from her dad!

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTracie

Well, they look a LOT like Nematodes to me, but that's the think with taking AP biology - everything reminds you of it. Hmm . . .

~ACE

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAutumn

What the hell ARE those things???? ew!

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren Elmquist

I may not have been around in the 60's, but I surely know that song. I think that merits a cupcake.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

The instant I saw these I recognized them! I haven't seen these in years.
They were popular when I was a kid back in the late '70's growing up in Boulder. We called them frogs. There's cake in there somewhere, with filling, if they are the same.
But I think the bakers then were stoned (it was Boulder, in the '70's) and I don't know what these bakers are using....

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPipkin

FROGS!

That's what the bakery near us used to call them when I was a kid, anyway. We only had the green ones, but the multicolored ones in the second pic have the body form closest to the ones from my memory.

I used to love those things - of course, my mom hated them, and both of us for the same reason. That huge pile of frosting!

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMai

Over here (Uppsala, Sweden) they are known as frogs, and consist of a roundel of sponge cake, a MOUND of butter cream, and a layer of green marcipan. A slit for the mouth, with a tounge of red jam, and icing eyes complete the ghastly thing. Apparently they sell well enough that many caf├ęs keep them stocked...

WV: evalize -- not really evaluating, only pretending to.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSvenN.

The second picture looks like baby Koozbanians from the Muppet Show! I can't find any pictures, but this is the skit:
http://muppet.wikia.com/wiki/Galley-oh-hoop-hoop

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBethE

The Pop-eye song was awesome!

Some of my friends say that "They're coming to take me away, Ha-Haa!" is about me.

Maybe ...

they're right.

Bwahahahahahahahahaha!

Word verification: metro. You sure can see some weird cupcakes on the Metro.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterScritzy

My dad taught me about that song. It's awesome! And yeah, I wonder how much of those blobs are cake, and how much are frosting?

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPuella Docta

I was born in '79 and totally LOVE that song! In fact, I find myself occassionally singing it out loud and fear that people really will want to take me away! : )

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

i think it's something to do with the Monsters Vs Aliens movie....

word: Subalt : I live in a subalt universe, I can't afford the fully alternative version.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSB&C

I heard that song whilst at my grandpa's. It still cares the crap outta me. D;

I have to wonder... is it piles of sugar on a cupcake? I mean, I love me some frosting (like those 3:2 store ratios of cake to frosting, yum), but that just seems inedible. Who wants a cupcake you can't fit in your mouth?

The solution for the carrot jockies vs blob cupcakes is obvious: we need someone to make a CCC with baby jockies riding the blobs!

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersteeple333

Great now that song will be in my head all day...thanks...and I'm a child of the 80's, I just have a healthy appriciation of all things musical.

I wonder if I can find it on youtube to show my kids...

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMandy

If it IS a character from the Monsters vs Aliens pixar movie that's about to come out, it's fitting. BOB is the only character that resembles them, and his description from a website:

B.O.B. - Remember The Blob? Well BOB is what you might already be thinking. Voiced by Seth Rogen, BOB is a culinary experiment gone terribly wrong. Scientists were attempting to combine a ranch flavor to a tomato, and created the gelatinous force known as B.O.B.



A bizzare (possible failure) of a cake to commerate a failed culinary experiment. Funstuff

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPerchik

I know! They're the blobs from the cake animation you showed us a while ago! The opera one.
--Chrissy

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChrissy

I'm 28 and I still know what song you're referring to. Does that make me old?

-Layne

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteremporess-zia

They look like Barbapappas, no?

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterOurania Fizgig

I think it's especially funny/strange that the first set are in their own little capsules. Like they're little treasures...

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Duh, they're the Mucus family from those Mucinex commercials!

What I want to know, though, is how they get their shape? Is that a mound of frosting? 'Cause I haven't ever gotten cupcakes to crown like that before! Eeew.

And by "those around in the 60's," did you mean the Popeye reference? Hmmmm...I guess my preschooler kids don't really know who he is, but my generation certainly does!

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSusie

Heh - when I saw the title, I immediately thought, 'To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time...' and then I thought, oh, no, this blog isn't that old, is she?

Well, this 56-year-old appreciated the blast from the past, even if the cake creeped her out.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterchakolate

Here in Australia we have the, Actually here in South Australia is our state icon cake. They're called green frog cakes. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frog_cake have a look if you feel ready.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMark

No No No people! They are Patrick's cousins...you know from Spngebob Squarepants. Uh just kidding I have no freakin clue!

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Those blobs are actually a character from an upccoming movie, monsters vs aliens.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie D.

The second photo of red and blue look like geoducks, which are not at all appealing.

The green ones look like boogers. I wouldn't eat them.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie R

They are supposed to be B.O.B. from the new movie Monsters vs. Aliens!

They actually look like an American-version of the great South Australian FROG CAKE!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frog_cake

I'm in Sydney, not South Australia, but these are delicious!!

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKate

Some of the ones towards the top look like marshmallow peeps. the color's pretty enough. apart from the booooooogers...

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBecca H

Errr.... those pink and blue ones kinda look like tongues. I wonder what poor cakey creatures can no longer speak?

Oooh, that was morbid, huh?

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

emporess-zia said...
I'm 28 and I still know what song you're referring to. Does that make me old?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
**ICY GLARE** NOooo, my dear...
It simply makes you a 28-year-old who knows an old, OLD song.
Maybe you heard it on the Victrola at your great-grandparents house?
=^--^=

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

They have these at our regional grocery chain...my 2-1/2 yo saw one in the person ahead of us in line's cart, and started crying. No joke.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterhlj3079

My mom has the 45 of that song and I used to listen to it a lot when I was growing up. I may need to borrow it from her and torture my kids. Maybe I could feed them some scary blob thingies while they listen?

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You people cannot be serious. CLEARLY, these are renditions of the monster from Tremors. Really, am I the *only* sane one here?

(Move over, nice young men in clean white coats, you're crowding me.)

Special blue ribbon to Crazy Raven Productions for best post on the Comments section. Next to mine, of course.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I wasn't around in the 60s, but we had that record. They're coming to take me away haha. They're come to taking me hoho....to the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time....My dad could tell you who sang it, but I can't recall.....good song...good memories!!!

Sherry

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This is just a guess, but I think they are for the character B.O.B on that new movie Monsters vs. Aliens.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjeshers

Some of those look kind of like the frog cakes which are a South Australian icon and have been since forever... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frog_cake

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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