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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Mar192009

They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha Haa!

Ho ho, heehee, haha, they're coming to take me away!!!

I'm not sure what these things are supposed to be, but they've been popping up at bakeries all across the U.S. lately. Could the carrot jockeys have some competition on their hands?

"Soon, your race of sugar-craving giant sloths shall be OURS. Thaaat's right, we're cute, aren't we? You want to take us hooome, and show us all your financial staaaatements."

These guys are going less for "cute" and more for "mortal terror":

"The claaaaaw! The claw will choose who will go, who will stay, and who will have his or her face rearranged."

Look, they even have a naval division:

"We're Popped-Eyes, the sailor blobs,
We're Popped-Eyes, the sailor blobs,
You won't want to finish,
'Cuz we taste like spinach,
We're Popped-Eyes the sailor blobs!"

Nancy H., Bridget D., Siiri L. & Heather K., I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats. Really.

(Now we get to find out which of you were around in the 60s. Let the age-determining comments begin!)

UPDATE: The general consensus seems to be these are "frog cakes". More info here.

UPDATE UPDATE: No, they're not supposed to be Bob from Monsters vs Aliens. What, you think I would miss a kids' movie tie-in? Give me a little credit, eh?

« First Impressions | Main | Carrot Jockeys Make Excellent Ground Troops »

Reader Comments (268)

I think maybe they are meant to look like a screw up that was made on the show Ace of Cakes. The girls on there were making a wedding cake for one of their friends who wanted cupcakes in addition to a cake. When they cooked the cupcakes they ended up coming out lopsided and the same shape as those things. So the girls on the show gave them eyes and called them manatees! It was funny on the show, why anyone would maybe want to recreate them is beyond me. Thats just my stupid idea of what they are! :-)

April 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

reading over the comments - Emilia said that her daughter thought the ones with the sailor hats were piccolos - and I know exactly what she means.
Piccolo is a character from Dragonball Z... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piccolo_(Dragon_Ball)

Resemblance?
...

I think not...

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterIsabelle

DEFINATELY frog cakes!! yaaay everyones trying to copy little ol' adelaide- South Australia! but ours look um, normal, and yum and less scared!! the poor things!!

http://www.balfours.com.au/html/frog_cake.html

check em out and maybe teach some of those bakers how to do it properly!

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjessca86

A friend just tuned me into this site today, and I gotta admit, I'm loving it! I finally had to comment, as I know that song quite well (and was singing as I read it), and I'm barely a child of the 70's! lol Many of these cakes make the ones I have made look like masterpieces (aside from the Sunday editions, of course!) Thanks for the smiles, laughs, and occasional cringes :)

June 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNuttall Family

Jen- I realize that this is a very delayed comment, but they look a little like the Danish Kaj kager (Kaj cakes.) They are usually chocolate cupcakes with a strawberry cream icing, topped with a green marcipan layer and eyes. The first link is to some "nice" kajkager and the second is to Danmarks Radio's Kaj of Kaj and Andrea. :) Cait

http://www.udeoghjemme.dk/~/media/websites/udeoghjemme.dk/Website/artikler13%2025/Uh21kaj_artikel.ashx

http://www.akkc.dk/media/Kaj_og_Andrea_2007_200.jpg

June 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCait

That song's awesome ((i'm 18, seriously))

Anyway, awesome blog. I can't stop laughing!

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

i think this is someones attempt to make South Australias famous(in Asutralia) Frog cakes u can only buy them in south australia and they are made by balfours, some freaks even get hundreds of them as wedding cakes, they usually come in green pink and brown, but for weddings they make them in white

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ah yes ... as with most South Australians I was like What the heck are you talking about? It's a Frog Cake ... anyone can see that ... :P

September 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKeren

Those green blobs I think are knock offs of the South Australian icon (I'm not kidding, I'm a South Aussie) The Frog Cake that can be found in Balfours Bakeries especially in Adelaide (yes they are a retro throwback). I'm sure a picture can be found somewhere on the web.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oddly, rip-offs of frog cakes have been sold in bakeries in Sydney for years, so I never even knew they were South Australian. Glad to see they have made it to the States, albeit sadly deformed!

Comparing the rip-offs of my childhood to the official version (which can be seen at http://www.balfours.com.au/img/green-frog-cake.jpg), the ones I've bought have been less cake and more just fondant-covered cream in a cupcake wrapper. And no, nobody should eat that much fondant or buttercream icing in one sitting, but the ones I've sampled use pink sugar cream (which you can see through the cut-open mouth), and are so sickly sweet I doubt anyone should eat a whole one either!

And oh, I finally get the 'wv' or word verification bit ... you have to go to the 'post a comment' section to get it.

October 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterangel_Jean

Those are some very scary cakes... mutant frog/worm/alien things maybe?
I'm a 90s kid and I know that song! (Found it on youtube). It's one of my faves :D

August 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I can tell you exactly what #1 is. It is the individual containers that give it away. In the book "Hello Cupcake" there is a recipe/directions for alien cupcakes. Not my blog, but here is the exact pic of what it should look like...

http://images.quickblogcast.com/5/2/4/9/0/117208-109425/aliens.jpg?a=40

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Crafting Pot

I think they are frogs?! xx

October 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

Is it just me or do the first ones look like the cartoon wonka nerds from the commercial ads?

January 27, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKiva

I was born in the '70s, but that was my brother's FAVORITE song (born in '67)!! We played the 45 on our HiFi!

May 15, 2011 | Unregistered Commentereileen marie

I was thinking they look like to characters on the Mucinex commercials. That'd be cool on a birthday cake!

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJim

Whenever I see anything like that I just assume it's some bizarre new children's show character. I mean after the Teletubbies how can things get any weirder? Once people become inured to having characters with giant phallic symbols on heir heads then it's really anything goes, isn't it?

February 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTInaC

I LOST it at "sailor blobs".

November 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRose

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