My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Well, Cake IS My Drug of Choice...

Before I address this cake, I would like to state a few things for the record:

1) My mother reads this blog. (Hi, Mom!)

2) I have never, ever, even remotely considered the possibility of so much as looking at a piece of drug paraphernalia. Ever. (Hi, Mom!)

So my question is this, Stephanie A.: Does a crack pipe really look like a coffee cup filled with bloody mini-marshmallows? 'Cuz I always pictured something a little edgier, like that thing the caterpillar is smoking in Alice in Wonderland*.

*Yes, Disney movies are my only base of reference for drugs. Heck, it was years before I figured out smoking doesn't turn people into donkeys. (Although when the "no smoking" sign is present, it does turn them into jackasses. Booyah! Up high! Haha!)

« Wrecks Rerun | Main | Belly Cakes, Continued »

Reader Comments (133)

maybe thats supposed to be fire on the top?! Where do people come up with these ideas?! LOL

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My thought process in response to this cake was very similar to yours. It's, er, interesting ... but I have no basis from which to say whether it's an accurate depiction.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

My only comment is those look like bloody sperm in a pot of marshmallows cooking to make some seriously freakish rice krisy treats. Thank goodness they wrote crack head-I would have been really confused, heck I think I still am...

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermilk and cookeez

I'd say the red looks less like blood and more like "swimmers."

And the thing The Caterpillar smokes is called a hookah.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEunice


April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWoof

Love the smoking "crack." Yes, I realize that the pun is the lowest form or humor.

When I first saw the photo, I thought that it was a measuring cup, with crushed Starlight mints in it. Until I read the note.

Funny, in a strange, twisted kind of way.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEllen

Ewww... it looks like an army of red semen attacking a field of cotton balls.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTig

My question is just... WHY?

Why would you do this?

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Sommer's

If you think puns are the lowest form of humor, you haven't watched Mind of Mencia.

As for the looks like it's filled with freshly-pulled teeth.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTB Tabby

Hmmm now I do want to know what a crack pipe looks like. (Hi Mom!)

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBaking and Mistaking

What a cute, fluffy crack pipe! If Disney did do a ghetto princess movie, I'll bet this is what they'd look like.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

As the other posters pointed out it looks like bloody...umm...something. I'd see a doctor if I were them.

And Jen, don't feel too bad. I think they showed us a crack pipe in elementary school as part of the infamous DARE program, and I don't really recall it looking like this.
I DID, however, find a bong stuffed in the cushions of a couch that my roomie and I bought at Good Will during grad school. She turned it into a flower vase. o_O

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

....And the hookah is for tabacco not crack.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLissy

Here are some pictures of actual crack pipes...looks nothing like that though? odd....and hilarious :)

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteramandyanderson

IF you can call that red stuff fire (which is a stretch IMHO), then this actually looks a little like my bunsen burner in the lab. Can't really say that's a good thing, though.
Tracy O

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTracy O

I thought coffee mug too.

And like you, Disney movies are about my only exposure to drug references.

Ahhh, innocence is bliss!

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPamperingBeki

Here are some pictures of actual crack pipes...looks nothing like that cake, but that makes it MORE hilarious!! :)

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteramandyanderson

It's not accurate in the least. Though people will smoke crack out of most anything, the usual crack pipe doesn't look like a white corncob pipe like this cake. They are often just glass rods.

Also, I am fairly sure that IS supposed to be fire but too is inaccurate. Crack doesn't really look anything like that when it burns.

Obviously the cake decorator has never seen a crack pipe either, or just chose to make a really silly and unoffensive version.

P.S. I don't smoke crack. Or anything else.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAHorseNamedFrank

I don't get why it looks like a bunch of eggs being fertilized by little red spermies. I've seen Meet the Parents, I've seen Judd Apatow movies - they don't look quite like this.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNichole

Can you imagine how embarrassing the recipient must have been? Well, unless she actually was high on crack. Oh my.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSmoochiefrog

I was hoping for some Earthy Cakes for Earth Day :(

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHyla

That is probably one of the craziest cakes yet. I'm with milk and cookeez!

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaddy

Coffee cup filled with bloody mini-marshmallows. Perfect, perfect description, because I was staring at this and trying like hell to make the "crackhead" connection.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpiecemeal people

I am so glad I'm not the only one who thought the red blobs looked like sperm. It makes me feel like I have company in my lonely little gutter.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

One of the reasons I fell in love with my husband was that the Caterpillar was / is his favorite Disney character. He keeps a miniature one next to our very real (and used by someone!) Hookah.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterXOXO

Pleased to know the decorator didn't know what a crack pipe looks like either.

Maybe the parents of the hitler kid ordered this for their birthday.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJustfrpstong

Not that I've ever seen a crackpipe (short of watching COPS and the like on tv) but I'm with everyone else..looks like bloody semen attacking some marshmallow-like eggs in a weird pot.

Heh..I said "pot".

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPatti

Despite Addie's interest in extra-curriculars, I feel sad for her that she is not being honored for being someones "favorite anything else". Perhaps she plays the mandolin, tells a joke well, or maybe something simple like having a nice smile.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBibi

I'm happy to say I have no idea if that's a realistic depiction or not. Looks like they've gone camping and are making a big ol' batch of marshmallows for the s'mores. And maybe somebody cut their hand....and...oh I don't know. Odd the lives some people lead.....

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDorci Harris

At first I thought this was supposed to represent a frying pan with brains being cooked in them...

You know, from the "This is your brain on drugs" PSA's from way back when

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrent

I used to work as a Public Defender in a big city, and that definitely doesn't look like any crack pipe I've ever seen. Unless they've changed drastically in the past 10 years since I switched my line of work...

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenternewsjunkie

Because the wreckorator thought using tin foil wouldn't be classy enough.

And now for the rest of the day I'll be singing to myself
"Are you going to strawberry sperm?
Parsley Sage, Rosemary and Thyme..."


April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGlory von Hathor

Are crack heads really intrested in cake?

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHorribleLicensePlates

When I saw the title I thought you had come across this little gem:" REL="nofollow">Brass Eye - Cake(Note: some swearing)

More information" REL="nofollow">Brass Eye on Wikipedia.

Me, I'm high on Cake Wrecks.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKnott in Bots

I am willing to put out there that I do not know what a crack pipe looks like, but I have seen (not used; hello, mum!) a hookah (Alice in Wonderland) and I have seen, handled, and used a bong for the green leafy stuff (waaaaay back when; yeah, mum, I learned my lesson). I also used a brass pipe for said green leafy stuff. This was back in the 80's (mum, you know I am a good girl now -). That "cake" . . . uff da! Looks like a cake maker is reaching . . . and failing

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah (JOT)

I thought hookahs were for smoking opium...

Anyway, as a school librarian (middle school health class drug report projects are common) I can fairly certainly say that is NOT what a crack pipe or cooker looks like.

But, to each his own. Maybe this is the 'nightmare' version?

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRobin

Nothing says "delicious" like a simmering pot of marshmallows and blood. MMMMMM.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNatalie

Your commentary is so hysterical, I can't add anything. Plus, my drug knowledge is even less than yours.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Courteous Chihuahua

A crack pipe cake...when do we get to see the bong?

Angie (from over at

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

Oh, I feel a Lewis Carroll lecture coming on. I'll try to restrain myself, since this isn't actually an Alice cake. (Ooh, Jen, do you have any of those? I bet the Cheshire Cat can be very wrecky.)

But yes, as others have said, the Caterpillar is smoking a hookah.

The original Sir John Tenniel Caterpillar:

Why does everyone think of Disney's Alice? Pah.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElyse

They must have thought a crack pipe was like a corn-cob pipe. I wonder what that filling is? Apart from crack, that is. . .

I did something like this for my brother's 15th birthday once as a hilarious joke. No one thought it was funny.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

crack pipes are most often a straight, hollow tube with a stretched Brillo pad pulled through (as a filter). that would be a boring cake. they SHOULD have made like, an ice cream scoop with white gel looking substance. that's more what crack looks like.


April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@Elyse - there's worse things they could think of than the Disney Alice. They could think of Lewis Carroll's...umm..questionable tastes in...well heck, the fact that he fancied little boys.
I'd say making the Disney connection is the better of the two!

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

Earth Day Cakes please!!!

Not that bloody sperm chowing down marshmallows isn't entertaining, but today is a very important day.

We need some tree cakes with Keebler elves, or a little planet Earth as a marble from MIB, or .. . ... something!

Go Green!!

VW: enslop. "The sperm we enslopped with the marshmallows for observation."

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterClare

That may actually be the cooking spoon more than the pipe, too.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

hahahaha! that made my day! my name is addie... but i promise i'm NOT a crackhead :o)

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Ferber Family

If you leave of the red, you'd get what it looks like when I try to warm milk on the stove... I always overflow it! I thought that's what it was. I'm SOOO glad you told me it was drugs! Crack this case, it killed the cake!

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie Jackson

I was thinking popcorn upon first sight.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBEAT

I'm always asking people if they are on crack when they say or do something crazy. Maybe I should ask one of them if this is what a crack pipe looks like.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTexasLauren77

Ummm, does anyone else find it alarming that they can reference DISNEY for their drug information?? LMAO.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca F.

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