My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Professionally Administrated Wrecks

I usually try to feature holiday Wrecks on the holiday in question, but when I was out of town recently I missed a couple. So, for all you administrative professionals out there who had to order your own cakes last Wednesday, this post is for you.

Ok, so it's not horrible, but I do have two issues with it:

First, as submitter Danielle C. points out, the girl is green. "I'm not sure why," she writes, "but I've narrowed it down to either motion sickness or a subtle witch insult."

(Ah, but there is one more possibility, Danielle: She could be an Orion slave girl! Granted, that might be construed as an even bigger insult than the witch thing, but any Trek reference is a good one in my book.)

And secondly, this cake doesn't actually say anything. No "Thanks" or "We appreciate you" or "Today, skip the collating!" - nada. So in essence really all this cake says is "You work here, and we wanted cake." How...touching. I'm sure all the admins working there were inspired to new heights of administrative professionalism. Really.

'Course, considering these next examples I can see the logic behind a writing-less cake:

And Mary Pat, since I know all the glass-half-full people are going to point it out anyway: Those flowers ARE quite pretty, don't you think?

This Wreck, however, has only one redeeming factor:

And that is it's made of chocolate.

Yep, that plastic butterfly makes a heroic effort, but in the end still can't save this squiggly monochromatic mass from the Wreck heap. I can't actually say it's misspelled, though, because every time I try to decipher the squiggles the eyestrain gives me a headache. (And if that's a decorator tactic, it's brilliant. Brilliant, I say!)

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Reader Comments (86)

I was supposed to get a cake?! I had no idea. I feel so left out. On the other hand someone did walk into my office on Thursday and ask "Why are there so many flowers on your desk. Is someone sick?"

April 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

I thought Orion slave girl before I read it. :D Although that shouldn't surprise you given one of my names.

And I think the 3rd cake is misspelled - it looks like 2 F's in professional, just like the second one.

Ha. When I worked as an AA, I got flowers and a card *and* taken out to lunch at a very exclusive restaurant. I was told I deserved it for being the best assistant she'd ever had. 2 months later, I was let go. Shrug. She had issues. And I got 4 months off with unemployment, thanks to her!

April 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterholly

Back when I was an Administrative Assistant (it was called a legal secretary back then!) I was taken to lunch at an expensive restaurant, had a few beer with my meal and followed it all up with a fabulous chocolate fondue. I really thought it was a bonus at the time...I had no idea I was supposed to have CAKE!! WTF? I got totally ripped off!!!

April 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrish

The Orion Slave Girl in the cake #1? Could also be a WITCH!

April 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEllen

hilarious. reminded me of my days as an admin -- i hated Admin. Proffinal's week/day/whatever. I was forced-*forced*-to have lunch out with my boss and another admin with whom I hated working. I would have much preferred one of these wrecks.

April 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

I think the first lady is actually She-Hulk.

April 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWhitney G

I can't believe you can't read this cake. It obviously says Happy Adminisistutive proffuneol Day. Simple.

April 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What is that last cake's icing made out of? It almost looks glowy....which is kinda cool....

April 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Happy Proffional Day everyone!

April 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMe

On the third cake (and I can't believe no one else has commented on this...) besides the misspellings, and the butterfly... there are two plastic flowers. One in the upper left and one int eh lower right, barely hanging on over the cut area.

And? The frosting might be chocolate, but like another commenter pointed out, that last one is white on the inside. Bah!

(Great blog, Jen, been reading you since I found you on SGC Sweets day.)

April 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterthe-ped

...Does that second one actually say "Proffional?"

I'm hoping that I'm reading it wrong. And yet, I know in my heart that they did, in fact, spell it like that.

April 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTsunoba

I'm from the UK too and I haven't laughed so hard since I found this site. All my friends now tune in for the latest wrecks too. From Babymischief.

April 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBabymischief

"Ann-Marie said...
Oh the irony from Jo UK, a post about incorrect spelling and she has managed to completely booboo on the word weirdness."

It was a typo, probably as a result of my fast yet fat little fingers being used to the 'i-before-e' combination, even though my brain (you see, I could have said brian there, just to confuse you further) actually knows how to spell the word.

Thankfully, I am neither an Administrative Professional, nor a pedant who searches forums for typographical errors . . .

(Word verification = 'syclogst' which, I believe, would be what your local cake-wrecker would ice onto some luridly coloured and overly floral cake on the day when one has recognise the hard work by one's shrink - "Happy Syclogst Day!"

(oh, and before Ann-Marie pipes up again, here in the UK, we have a 'u' in 'coloured' and use the 'ise' rather that 'ize' at the end of words . . )

April 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJO UK

I just saw a sign for a tarot reader who who said that she sells incents and will help with all your probleems. I didn't take her up on it as she couldn't even manage her own spelling problem.

April 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTarra Slovan

Great minds think alike. Upon seeing that last one I thought, 'Well, at least it's chocolate...' and then read your comment about it. LOL

In slightly un-related wreck news, my hubs once bought me a beautifully designed birthday cake. With brown icing. And no, it wasn't chocolate. Just brown. WTF is up with that?

WV: biess 'I am biessed against brown icing that is not chocolate.'

April 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Chickadee


Did yuo konw taht acrcdording to a Hvarard stduy dnoe qutie a whlie aog, teh vsat mairojty of litraete hamun binegs cna raed a sneetnce ealisy eevn wehn lal teh letetrs aer ni teh wnorg oedrr?

Cool right? I prefer to think you were simply testing this theory with your spelling gaffe.

On another note, I think you should be an author. You may not think you'll have anything interesting to write about, but I am confident it will be written well and with a certain sass and vigor which you seem to possess in abundance.

Just a thought...



April 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjohn (the hubby of JEN)

I am pretty sure that last cake is decorated in spray cheese. Nearly positive.

April 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The chocolate cake would definitely help! I'm guessing the problem was that the administrative professionals didn't order their own cakes and this was the best the rest of the staff could do without them! So, really, it's a hidden compliment!

April 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCardell Family

I have to throw in that the chocolate cake has the WORST attempt at cake border piping I have EVER seen, and I have seen a lot of cakes!

Since I've been taking cake decorating courses and learned how cakes actually should be done, these wrecks hurt my eyes even more, lol.

April 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNaomiKnight

My mom, who is the admin. asst. to a fire chief and his two deputies, informed me that the lady on the cake was green because it was Earth Day, as well as being Administrative Professionals Day. Interesting theory; let's hope the decorator actually put that much thought into the cake.

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I am so very disappointed in my fellow Trekkers on here. The Administrative Professional on the first cake is obviously a Caucasoid Vulcan. Their copper based blood gives lighter skinned Vulcans a green tinge.

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTheAmber

Well, there's no Copy Editors' Day yet, but all in all, I'm gonna say I'm okay with that.

I asked Mr. Gothboy to pick up a couple of cake mixes at the store and he got Betty Crocker instead of Duncan Hines. rarrrrr.

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

errm, umm, I hate to disappoint. Witches do not have green skin. *looks down at white-white self* But we do have a predilection for cakes and ale. (usually mead, actually.) So if you're up for a Witches' Day, I'd like dark chocolate and either a glass of mead or a Guinness. XD *slurp*

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

If Jen can take a "Trek" reference out of this cake, I CAN'T WAIT to check the blog when the new movie comes out this spring!

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJen O.

Will there be virus-shaped cakes on Virus Day? Chocolate Ebola? Fondant HIV? Well, I ain't going to buy just any old virus-cake. Gotta be a nice dangerous virus. :)Just a thought...


April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNina

At least 'Secretary Day' is easier to spell...

April 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDhr. DeLuxe

When I worked for a city government they had a press conference to announce the arrival of new garbage trucks. The mayor put on a hard hat and threw out the ceremonial first bag of trash then he rode on the little ledge on the back of the truck (around the block). They asked all of the employees in the building to come to the lobby to hear the speech and show up in the news footage . They has punch and cake - a big chocolate sheet cake decorated with the logo -a stylized image of the trash hauler that was on the uniforms of the department. Underneath this image on the cake in large letters was BUREAU OF SOLID WASTE . Yum, appetizing!

April 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The bakery would make it "Secretary's Day". On administrative professionals day in our office (large accounting firm) everyone who is in Internal Firm Services (i.e not an accountant) got invited to a breakfast which was served to us by partners wearing aprons. They even came around to warm up our coffee too many times like annoying wservers who were trying too hard.

April 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous


OMG! NAOMI! -squeee-

...sorry. -cough- Old friend, haven't seen her in a while. lol

April 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStrange Angel

When I saw the first cake I immediately thought of Scooby-doo. She looks like she belongs on an episode with those meddling kids chasing behind her. Maybe, she is the secretary to the Hanna Barbera studios.

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBethie

Obviously, that green secretary on the first cake is a zombie. Duh. :)

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGabrielle

I like how you can hear the little wheels turning in the cake decorator's head for the second cake. "Proffes - oh, I'm not gonna have enough room - maybe I can convert that 'es' into 'io' - Proffional! Meh, good enough."

June 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJohn & Jennifer Savage

I like the red splotch on the bottom of the first cake. Maybe the cake is saying, "You work here and wanted cake. Don't hurt us"?

May 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hilarious commentary. Love how they found it necessary to give the green woman boobs. Funny Stuff! xx

October 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

I think it says "Hoppy Adminvisattive Day!" I don't think a lot of grocery store bakers went to kindergarten...

February 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterYes

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