My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

To the Pain

These cakes have been left to wallow in their freakish misery forever, but we viewers are the ones who really suffer for it.

For example, tell me you don't get a brain-ache from trying to comprehend...

The cycloptic smiley clover of despair!!
(Now with matching ladybug!)

And that popping noise can mean only one thing:

"Pool Party Patty" has some serious 'splainin' to do.

You know what every caramel cheesecake needs?

Pretty much anything but large poo-swirls topped with plastic mold-specked hot dogs and hamburgers, that's what. Although I'd be lying if I said I didn't like the little surfing 'dog on the left:

C'mon, a mini hot dog riding a poo wave? What's not to love?

And lastly, check out what Amy S. got for her rehearsal dinner when she requested a simple sheet cake with a logo on it:

I don't know what that is either, Amy, but I hear the chocolate coating helps it go down easier.

Moira & Stephanie E., these cakes are inconceivable.

« Coulrophobia Cakes | Main | Cake Wrecks Turns One! »

Reader Comments (225)

That last one - I know fondant is hard to work with but the least they could do was arrange it a little better than THAT.
I'd still eat it though.

May 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlisa L

I'm days behind here, but I just wanted to say (as I'm sure many did before me) that I totally appreciate the Princess Bride refs. A+.

May 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRuby Slippers

I was showing my little brother the last cake, and I told him that the client had requested a "sheet cake." He replied that it looked more like a "sh*t cake!" And I have to agree. o_o

May 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Scarf Girl

Were you watching Princess Bride when writing this? Because I saw it was on some cable channel the other night. Best. Movie. Ever!! (Periods and exclamations from the previous post's cakes.) Thanks for the great movie references.

May 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

Princess Bride themed blog entry? Made of 100% win. *bows down to worship*

May 24, 2009 | Unregistered Commenternimcraft

i love the princess bride quotes!!!!

May 24, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersarah

I've always loved Cake Wrecks, but my love of Princess Bride is unmatched by any form of entertainment to date. There is a soft warm fuzzy feeling in my heart that the two have come together. Thank you.

May 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

Okay, the simple sheet cake is horrible, but Victory Junction Gang Camp is wonderful! My daughter went there for a week 2 summers ago, and our family was able to go for family weekend the following fall. I'm so excited to see their logo on a cake on your site. Please don't blame the camp! :) Hopefully people will google the camp and see what great things they are providing for children with special needs and their families. Incredible people. Deserved a much better cake than they got!

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKris

You were especially witty with this post, my sides are hurting. Always great but this one made my day! thanks

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

What's so wrong about the feuilles d'automne decoration? I mean, obviously they misunderstood sheet cake, but how is this cake a wreck? It looks great to me.

May 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

who doesn't love princess bride references. people who make these cakes confuse me.

fun fact: six fingered man does the voice of jack skellington of the nightmare before christmas.

May 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbiracial

XD Princess Bride+ Cake Wercks = WIN
Although 'Chocolate Abominations/Monstrosities' would be a good alternative.

They managed to make chocolate unappetizing >< and why can't she have gotten the sheet cake she ordered?!

June 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElkian Lionblood

Hey! I found the hot dog source!

Okay, so not *quite* the same hot dogs, but there's someone out there with enough hot dogs to decorate... *does math*.... *shudders*

June 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

Surfing the hotdog, I think we got ourselves a new naughty innuendo.

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The ladybug ALSO has only one eye.

October 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDarth Artemis

Is The cycloptic smiley clover of despair a CCC? That thing had me cracking up. Is that a turkey in the middle of that caramel cheesecake? Not that that would be surprising to that cake! Mawwiage is what bwings these cake togethew today!

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDanica

oh man I love the Princess Bride quotes...grew up on that movie.

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRay

Poor Amy! I think they used the fondant to cover up something underneath...scary thought...please tell me Amy has called a different baker for the real event

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Westley: Can you move? Are you alright?

Buttercup: You're alive, if you want, I can decorate a cake for you!

Westley: No thanks, I've seen your previous attempts...

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The first one looks like two eyes smooshed together rather than a cyclops eye. But, it's still freaky!

My local NJ newspaper had an article about gifts for Mother's Day, and they had Jen's book listed. How awesome is that!

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Amy S., I think I have figured out where they went wrong...they took the "sheet" part literally. It looks like a brown bed sheet to me!

-Courtney Sanderson

May 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCourtney

Anonymous - You're not the only one. I've often thought that Jen writes like Mike Rowe talks. :P But this one takes the cake, no pun intended.

On the cakes - I think I'm going to have nightmares of that cyclops-flower-smiley thing now. XD What's with that, now?

Cheesecake, especially chocolate cheesecake, should be left alone (unless the baker managed to crack it - as I have done in the past - then it might need a little touch up). It especially shouldn't have poo and hotdogs scattered all over it. That's just asking for trouble.

And the last one - I agree with the people that say it was misheard - my mother will occasionally say it that way when she thinks nobody's paying attention. XD

May 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVictor G.-H.

haha...I get it: the cake is supposed to be made out of a sheet...right?

June 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

And now, I must ramble in Princess Bride Geekdom:

It just so happens, that last cake is only MOSTLY dead.

There is a shortage of perfect cakes in the world...t'would be a pity to destroy these...

and...from the dungeon...just Sweet Westley's whimpering can be heard...

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hmmm... A LEATHER sheet cake.

February 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAdina P

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>