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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
May292009

Proper Grooming

You've gotta admit: outside of baby shower cakes, grooms' cakes are some of the most "unique" ones out there. This is the cake that puts the guy's favorite recreational activities on display, whether those are sports...

(I believe that's a plastic golf cart in the corner. So let's see...plastic flotsam, a printed edible image, random clumps of crumbled chocolate, and spotty airbrushing... all on one cake. Hah! And they said it couldn't be done.)

Hobbies...

(I realize I don't know that much about weaponry, but am I the only one seeing a gun on a hot water bottle here?)

Mouth cancer...

(I grew up in the sticks of Florida, so a cake can of chewing tobacco doesn't surprise me that much. Still, let's hope it's not flavored to match. Yech.)

Or just melting over an inner tube while covered with a gigantic straw hat.


[crickets chirping]

Well, he does look relaxed.

[staring some more] Ok, I give up. What is that red square supposed to be? Anyone? Anyone?

Thanks to Alan R., the only Wreckporter brave enough to attach his name to any of these submissions, and all you other Anony Mice.

« How Bizarre | Main | Purging the Evil Within »

Reader Comments (201)

Albino in rubber tube: I think this is a bold attempt to convey perspective and water refraction. His legs would appear refracted UNDER the water...and the trash bag is further away and refracted. The beer cans therefore look tiny. As for the hat...I got nothing.
WV: aptinqua...something that is water-appropriate

May 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJacci

I was also thinking "grenade" instead of hot water bottle. I could see a target, too, as I have a vivid imagination.

The red thing? Not so vivid.

May 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeigh

Someone may have already answered this, but the red thing on the inner tube is a can bag...on the river they make you tie a mesh onion/potato sack to your tube to collect your trash rather than littering the river.

May 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

I want to chomp one of those chocolate horseshoes!

May 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercrissy

The red mesh bag is for keeping your empties in and your next ones cold from the spring water.

May 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

hi jen,
i don't know if anyone has already answered this but I do know what the "red thing" is...
here in Texas, we go tubing on the river and it's completely legal to bring along a cooler in order to spice up the river ride :) however, in order to keep the river clean, when you rent your tube you are also provided with a red net bag to store your empties in. You tie it to your tube with twine (also provided).
As for the hat, lets just say that you don't go tubing in the Texas sunshine without some protection from the rays. There's LOTS of straw hats around!
Hope that clears it up!

May 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMeaghan

I thought it was a flask under the gun! That would be...honest. ;)

May 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCarly

The red square is a trash bag. They give them to you at rivers when you go float.

May 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I thought the hotwater bottle could have been a weird hand grenade. :P

May 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLiving

I'm a regular reader but not a regular poster. I had to post today though at your "sticks of Florida" comment. I grew up in the tiny town of Chipley, FL were the imprinted ring of a chew can on the back of guy's jeans was considered SEXY! LOL Would love to talk to you more about the fish fries, oyster shucks, and general funniness of BFE FL.

May 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

BWAH HA HA!

The first thing I thought of when I saw the gun cake was,"right, a gun. On a . . . hot water bottle. Because . . . the water bottle is something they . . . shoot?"

Yeah, no, not the only one. =)

I lurve this site like, well, cake.

May 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteranne

I see the inner tube, but I'm pretty sure that is a suicidal rabbit hiding under his overturned easter basket. Those ARE rabbit feet, right? And see that left ear desperately reaching for the valve to deflate the tube to facilitate a drowning?

What would make a rabbit suicidal? Noticing the positive result on the red drug-store brand pregnancy test and realizing this groom is being forced into a shotgun wedding.

"The rabbit died."

Is it just me, or did anyone else interpret it this way?

May 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAdrianne

Does any one else appreciate the scattered red rose petals around the flask/target and gun cake?
Hmmm... Alcohol + firearms = bloody accident!

Not to mention one kneecap looks circular and the other is a diamond shape . . .

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

my guess, and the only thing that would make sense, (sadly) would be a cooler. not that it LOOKS like a cooler or REMINDS me of a cooler I've seen in a store...

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChelle

hi jen!

my daughter is graduating tomorrow. are there any graduation wrecks on the way?

lauren

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarcel

I too thought the target was a flask and the golf cart a toaster, but I thought the latter was because I recently set fire to mine, so it was on my mind. The fire extinguisher was almost expired, anyway.

Thank you for explaining how you generate trash while rafting. I was believing the trash bag theory, but trying to reconcile that with how you would end a rafting trip with more trash than you started with.

I think the straw hat is a way of indicating that the groom is naked under there. As for replicating the groom in cake, I bet that's been done with just the genitals. I'm willing to believe that it's even been done at a wedding. Maybe the bride vetoed the flaming deer cake with "anything but that!" and so it went.

And the Arab Food poster is a spammer.

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAviatrix

The strawberries look kind of like horse poo which is creepy given the horse shoes. The horse shoes look yummy though like easter bunnies

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. West

In reference to the "gun-on-the-hot-water-bottle" cake...at first glance, I thought "flask". You know, 'cause guns and drinking go so well together...

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKristen

Isn't Coppenhagen spelled wrong?
Or IS it Copenhagen?

I dunno, I'm not a chew type of person... It just looks wrong somehow...

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKas

The "hot water bottle" is an IDPA (International defensive pistol association) target, which is actually pretty accurate, except for the size. Here's a link to an actual target sales place http://alcotarget.com/osb/itemdetails.cfm?ID=526
And seeing as that gun is a multi-thousand dollar pistol, I'd say that groom is pretty good at it...

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrian

The cakes and the guesses at what things are are hilarious! I was ready to completely agree that the thing under the gun was a grenade, but then someone posted a pic of that target; definitely matches. Cannot wait for more wrecks!

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterotessa

That's Copenhagen dippin' tobacco. The brand name is Copenhagen Snuff. See where it says 'Long Cut' below the name? You can get it in pouches, or long cut or fine cut.

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterholly

Hi! I just wanted to stop by to let you know that I've passed along the 'One Lovely Blog' Award! Please stop by my blog to pick up your award. http://texasebeth.blogspot.com

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

must agree with 'half assed kitchen' - i got the IPSC target (hot water bottle for the unitiated) right away - BUT why dead rose petals next to a gun cake? - now that's weird ....

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

while I like the first comment regarding the target, I'd rather think of the gun cake as a "hot gun wedding" cake, lol!

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

I think the gun is sitting on an enema bag. Some people are into some very strange role-playing.

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMinyassa

I think the red thing is a blow up raft!! Just a guess!!
By Melanie

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Okay, I get that there are divots in the golf cake and the airbrushing is supposed to make it look like a golf course at sunset, but then why is the golf cart driving through the sky? You have to be a pretty bad golfer to put divots in the clouds...

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErin

I was actually thinking the thing under the gun looked like a flask to me. And I don't have a clue what the red thing is, but I agree that the guy has totally melted under his big ol' straw hat!

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTara

I think the Gun cake is refering to American Beauty, with the pedals of roses.

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChantal

As a wife to two USPSA shooters that gun cake is really a 2011 STI Edge Gun on top of a USPSA offical target. I assume the color is to reflect that the targets are made out of cardboard. My hubby thought it was an awesome cake and now wants one for his next birthday..

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMe

The red thing is a tin of sardines, half-opened.

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdicentra63

As beautifulmonday correctly stated, the item under the pistol is a facsimile of a target. My guess is that the groom participates in a shooting sport, such as IDPA (International Defensive Pistol Association) or IPSC (International Practical Shooting Confederation, lovingly referred to as "Ip-sick") matches. Targets used in these sports are shaped in a way vaguely similar to the "center of mass" on a human target, as the sport was created out of the desire of participants to practice skills which might be necessary in the event of a self-defense situation, such as shooting on the move, defending against multiple targets, etc. Matches are very fun to watch, and there are videos on youtube of people participating in this sport.

May 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterM. Derosier

My guess was the "Hot water bottle" is really a grenade.

May 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDave

@ Me 8:38 PM: "As a wife to two USPSA shooters that gun cake is really a 2011 STI Edge Gun on top of a USPSA offical target."

So gun fans are into plural marriage? Or did your second husband shoot the first one?

May 31, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjanet2buns

I just floated (draged a tube) down the very low Gudalupe river last weekend and I believe the red thing is a mesh trash bag they give you at tube rental places to tie on to the tube and put your empties in.

June 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCara Smith

Having done a lot of river floats around here, I'd guess that the red thing is the sack that all outfitters give people to collect their trash. They're usually red mesh "potato sacks" and all canoes and rafts have one so that trash like empty cans don't go into the river.

June 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy in StL

Sending out props to the funereal roses on the gun/water bottle cake. And also to the horse-apple looking chocolate items on the chew cake. Loving it!!

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterML

I'm thinking the red thing is either
A) A towel
or
B) One of those funky square watermelon

June 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElkian Lionblood

um...and I'm PRETTY sure that hot water bottle is supposed to be a grenade, but I'm not exactly sure...

Lovely work on that one, though. At least they used only one color icing.

June 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElkian Lionblood

Unfortunatly I spent a lot of my youth floating the rivers in Central Texas. The Red thing is like an onion bag. Its woven and plastic and has a draw string. Its to collect the trash, so you don't one won't be accused of "Messing with Texas!"
Heather

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm new to CW, but I can't get enough. So I'm late to this discussion, but am I the only one who was freaked out by the straw hat man's TINY HAND?! Proportions were not this cakemaker's strong suit, nor are knees.

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

yes the hot water bottle is a ipsc target that looks just like this one i googled http://www.toptonfga.org/IPSC/Targets/Shoot_Target.jpg

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think the red bag is a mesh "drag bag." The idea is that, if the river is cold enough, you don't bring a cooler at all; you just drag your cans behind your tube/raft in a mesh bag to keep them icy cold.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercadylee

It's a gun on top of a grenade! I didn't think it was confusing, but then the Army paid me to blow stuff up! I'm a girl who loves her explosive ordnance!

September 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterIntegral Mind

I see a poo patty on a bigger poo patty! Unless they just covered the gun in poo.

October 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ok, maybe I'm morbid, but I saw the thing under the gun as a bottle of liquor - specifically Crown. Getting drunk and shooting guns...how much better can it get?

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrey & Courtney

Do men actually think these are funny? And actual PEOPLE are marrying them?

July 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

lol I thought the golf cart was a plastic zamboni machine before I read the caption. Would have made a good combo ha ;) xx

October 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

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