My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Maybe We Should Stick with "Good Job"

Graduation season is upon us, and with it comes the irony of those who cannot spell congratulating those who have (hopefully) learned to do so. In writing.

I suppose it would be easier if "graduation" and "congratulations" didn't sound so much alike. As it is, we end up with a lot of Franken-style mash-ups:

Putting a "d" in "congratulations" is now so common that I've had folks tell me it's a new word created specifically for congratulating graduates. [burying face in hands] *sob*

Admit it: Now you want to see a cake that says "Congradulations Gratuates" as much as I do. Well, I don't have one. (Yet.) But I do have some more fun manglings:

"Congratutahons, Sus & Robert!"

What's that? Her name isn't "Sus"? Meh. So Sue me.

After a while you start to see the same mistakes over and over again. There's the "Something's Missing...":

The "End of the Road!":

(Complete with a truly epic grad cap - wow.)

And of course the classic "Letter Switcheroo":

Actually, this is a Switcheroo combined with "Something's Missing", since there's no "e". And while "Gradutas" does sound like something from Taco Bell, it kinda has a nice ring to it, don't you think?

Some decorators successfully navigate the "congratulations/graduation" minefield only to stumble right on the home stretch:

That's quite the stumble though. "Comminsoning?"
(It was supposed to be "commissioning".)

Then there's this...thing:

CCCs with "s"s that look like "g"s, gratuitous ellipses, and sloppy icing piled higher than the cupcakes themselves have no "honor". Only "honers".

Anony, Donna, Sue M., Ila P., Sarah L., Jessica R., Christine H., & Rosalie C., congratutahons! You've gratulated from Wreckporter school!

« Cake Wrecks, World Educator | Main | Insulting Inscriptions 101 »

Reader Comments (142)

As a former teacher, I am unable to fully express just how irritating these cakes are. If I were to receive one of these as a young "graduta," I would be afraid of my diploma shriveling up into a pile of ash.

Way to save the, er, "best" for last, though! That's gotta be the highest-scoring wreck yet. This just may inspire me to develop "Cake Wrecks: the Home Game." Kind of like highway bingo, but played in bakeries instead.

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

Reminds me of an episode of "Three's Company" when Jack was graduating from cooking school. Chrissy was in charge of the banner which read - yep, you guessed it! - CONGRADUATIONS (she didn't have room to write "Congratulations on your Graduation").

Maybe these are homage to a wacky 70s sit-com?

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJust A Girl

When I ordered the cake for my daughter's graduation, I was certain I would wind up with a wreck. The woman asked if I wanted the word "always" spelled with an "s". As an English teacher, I had to tell her yes, because without the "s" it isn't a word...sigh...

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJan

With that last CCC, I'm surprised you didn't also point out the random capital D in the middle of the word graduate...

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLogan

*pouts* I didn't get a cake for graduation, wrecky or not. Maybe I should go buy one of the leftovers from the grocery store.

Being an English major, I would have found gratuitous spelling and grammar errors funny (especially if whoever ordered the cake did it on purpose).

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermoonfall86

Oh, honey, those are honerz, much much more impressive than honers!

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRose

Ugh.. I have never seen so many CCCs with ungodly amounts of icing slopped on them. Do people actually eat those??


June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh wow.
This is what teaching to spell words phonetically gets you..
Amy B

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Hey, I've seen that whale guy before. Isn't he the one who says, "Syphilis blows" in a different episode? I hate it when they use the same actor for totally different characters, like in Law & Order.

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersarah k.

Hey, that's my Fudgie the Whale! It was for my bridal shower, and I loved it even more because it was clearly a Cakewreck. And yes, my name is not Sus, it's Sue. And they had my now-husband's name as Robin until my sister-in-law corrected them. This made my day.

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSue

I like the deflated balloons held up by springs (or telephone cord?) on the "Graduta" cake.

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

Oh man. The Navy one really got me.
Almost... made it... NOOOO!

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commentera.

Too bad about that cake for the Navy. The script was actually very nice.

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMary

I'm a retail store cake decorator. (And no, I haven't seen one of mine here Many years ago when I was still just a clerk I actually had a customer argue with me saying that her inscription was spelled wrong. The inscription read "Congratulations" and she along with her family said it should be "Congradulations". I finally had to grab a graduation decoration and prove her wrong. Many people order their cake with it spelled wrong and I've threatened every year to copy the dictionary page just to have handy for people. Oh, the stories I could tell you I need to start taking pictures of what people order. :P

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVal

Egads. Did y'all notice that the CCC not only has an unbelievably thick layer of icing on it, but they actually piped another huge rope of frosting on top of THAT?!

Seriously, I didn't think it was physically possible to make icing that thick! Is it like spackle when you have a rather large flaw to fill--you have to put a bit, then let it dry, then add more and let it dry, and etc.

Horrors! That cake could have taken DAYS to construct!!! *runs screaming*

WF: eneduirt. That CCC should've been pitched eneduirt!

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersunlizzard

Oh man. Those are pretty bad. (Being an English major makes me cringe even more.)

The spacing on that first one is *alomost* spot-on but not quite there. (If they'd moved "congradulations" up a tad it might not be so scrunched. Or just toned downt the blue-poo colored flowers.)

What is with the whale-esque looking blob that passes for a cake?

*Goes off to read a good book to recover from the horror of the misspellings*

The "end of the road" cake.

Looks less like a graduation cap and more like a chicken stepping out of a square doorway...

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVictoria J

that navy one looks really nice! too bad they couldn't quite get that last bit.

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermisha

Oh my...I would be so embarrassed! I think a cake like that would make me MAD that I graduated!

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRusty and Bandit

"And while "Gradutas" does sound like something from Taco Bell, it kinda has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"

I had to walk away from my desk I was laughing too hard at this.

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelody

The script on the navy cake is really quite beautifully done... what a pity they borked the spelling.

In the case of the other cakes, I cannot believe that they allow people with such terrible penmanship to write on cakes. Are there no standards these days?

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHungarican Chick

I have to admit I completely give everyone a pass on the cake writing. I just cannot pipe words on a cake...cannot figure it out. I have more than passable penmenship (nuns+rulers=lovely script)but piping bag. Just awful. But to be fair I worked with a wonderful old decorator, his writing on a cake was well just stunning, But try to read his writing on a cake form...two words...serial killer. I mean it looked like he carved letters onto paper.

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatherine

i only like congradulations when it's spelled with grad in all caps or in quotes. you know, conGRADulations, con"grad"ulations. then you know it's a purposeful and punny error.

and the icing on that CCC? *gag* too much!! that alone should be why they should never be made. say hello to a sugar coma!

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

Wow, I am amazed at how many of these you have. Insane!

I thought that the tassel on the cookie cake looked like a bird's leg and foot...entering a black hole?

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Agreed, preschool graduations are utter nonsense. But how nice for little Elise! I had no idea they taught cursive writing to three year olds now. Perhaps her school values penmanship over spelling.

Yes, yes, the "honers" made me think of boners, too. I love these. Makes me want to graduate again just to get my very own cake wreck.....

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I remember when I was a kid watching Three's Company, Jack graduated from cooking school and Chrissy put up a sign that said 'Congraduations'. Her explanation was that she couldn't fit 'Congratulations on Your Graduation' on the sign. And I recall thinking, "Huh, well, that's not going away now." (And yes, a lot of my seminal moments in life came from cheesy sitcoms, why do you ask?)

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

I COULD NOT stomache the CCC (*patooey*) cake with all that icing on teeth are starting to hurt already and I unexplicably cannot seem to sit still...SUGAR BUZZ!!!!

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrish

I guess you don't have to gratuate from high school to decorate cakes

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaryBe

well, obviously, it was a wreck for Sue, but there are a few proud Sus-es out there!

My lifelong nickname has been Sus, pronounced like Dr. Suess, short for Susana.

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think I've solved the excess frosting on the ccc--it's so the purchaser can quick frost a ton more cupcakes when a larger than expected crowd shows up.

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

Am I a bad person because I thought the last cake said "with boners?"

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEvillesweeny

Am I the only person who thinks you can never have too much icing on a cake? ;-)

Loved the navy one. But isn't it a full bottle that's suppose to be smashed at the launch, not an empty?

And CCC's -- a gradutas abuse of icing

WV: corpred -- Now, back to my corpred [sic] job as a transcriptionist

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterms_Yendor

lol! that is just wonderful..

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNicky

"Congratutahons, Sus & Robert!"

Ummmm what the hell is that? Did a whale eat Sus and RobERT? You didn't even mention the weird sludge colored whale! lol

OH on a side note. I would like to point out that my word verification is "reck sain". No... these "reck" makers are not "sain" at all! ROFL

Love your blog - can't wait to get the book~

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDraygonflies

I am so tired of seeing "congradulations" posted on facebook. (Especially last week, when the high school had it's graduation.)

Also my supervisor is an English Major and she spells it with a "D" too!!

Shoot me now!

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRobinB

Grad cap... or grad crap?

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdeckardcanine

wow. just wow.

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermarn

We should just be grateful that the "h" on "honers" did not look like a "b".

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDavid B

Well, 'Tis the season!
Time to calibrate the ValleydickToryanns and SalootaToryanns...and let's not forget all of the other Gradualwits who aren't named Tory Ann.
Great time of year for the cake business, no?

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

My favorite mnemonic for spelling congratulations correctly: If you have a "D" you don't deserve congratulations.

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

oh i love it!!!!

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlice

That one cookie cake with the cap looks like one of the bad guys from Zelda, the black squares with the arms.

I think that the "g" shaped "s"s on that last cake are supposed to be cursive "z"s. Not necessarily better, but at least congratz is slightly better than congratg.

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRageoline

I was just barely walking through the store and saw about 10 cakes displayed with "Congratulations" written on them...but half of them were written in a nice scroll and the other half was print- all the ones in print said "Congradulations" and I did let them know...but they just said..."Yeah, we'll fix it." Yeah right!

That one cake with the grad hats on it looks like some sort of thing with a yellow arm...

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDani

David B said...
"We should just be grateful that the "h" on "honers" did not look like a "b"."
Yikes--good point! I am quite grateful; especially since ONE would've been enough!
You know, for being on a cake and all.
(...somehow, something still doesn't sound right here...)

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I am sad to see the mixup on the Navy cake because the actual lettering is so pretty!

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterholly

that is pretty bad, and very ironic.

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMorgan the Muse

Anyone else notice that Sus and Robert's cake is the same whale cake as Amber's "Syphilis Blows" cake a few weeks ago????

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJen Hamner

I thought that last cake was a tombstone on first glance.

If I ever hear anyone argue that 'congradulations' is an actual word, I may just slap them silly.

June 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterseryan

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>