My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Insulting Inscriptions 101

Some handy tips when crafting the perfect cake zinger:

1) Don't misspell it.

There's nothing like borrowing song lyrics for a backhanded compliment, but misspell the thing (and omit all the necessary apostrophes) and you come across more crude than clever.

2) Be specific.

Ok, so Charity smells - but what does she smell like? Hmm? Could be roses, or cotton candy. (Mmm, cotton candy...) This is the time to release your inner muse: tell us what putrescent stench Charity is emitting, and really explore your literary space, ok?

3) Keep it simple.

While you're exploring that space, though, don't get so carried away that no one can tell what you're trying to say. Instead of an oddly phrased "Youth Forgot", why not go with something more straightforward? You know, like this:

See, the lack of exclamation marks or capital letters here really brings home juuust the right amount of indifference. Even the off-centered leaning seems to say, "Hey, I got you a cake, alright? Don't go pushing your geezer luck by expecting quality."

And lastly,

4) A little name-calling can go a long way.

Again, creativity is king here. Just watch your penmanship; that "Fink" could almost be mistaken for "Tink".

Thanks to this next one I think I've found my new favorite pet name for John:


Kathryn R., Laura I., Sonya L., Mercedes R., Beth, & Kelli A., obviously your fathers smelled of elderberries.

« Maybe We Should Stick with "Good Job" | Main | Panic at the Disco »

Reader Comments (87)

I worked with a guy with the last name of "Fink", so that cake might not be quite as insulting. Still, you know his friends still giggle in their heads whenever they call him Fink.

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

I really think "Chucknuts" legs are sexy. :)

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterapplecrumbles

chucknuts! Excellent!

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKerri

Your birthday? A chance
To ice how we REALLY feel.
Your mama? Hamster.

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Oh my. xDDDDD
Your commentary, as always, kills me. xD

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterYakira

Indifference, indeed! They couldn't even be bothered to capitalize old Joe's name. And where are the sperm balloons?

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterstudiorose

To Jen and ChuckNuts:

Perhaps Charity smells of elderberries, or because she ,"Fetchez la vache!"

Cow fetching is smelly work.

WV: suctedp: She got invited to the boss's party because she suctedp to her.

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfrigglesnitz

I love the new nickname! Might have to follow suit on that. Thanks for so many daily laughs Jen!

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCake Believe

I think some of these people need to get together, huddle up and swap apostraphes.

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDorci



June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKritterBugg

Chucknuts? Chucknuts?! That's brilliant. Wow. It might surpass "asshat" in my book.

Fantastic entry, yet again.

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterViewtiful_Justin


The gold digger one gave me a massive headache for some reason. Must be all the gold digging paraphenalia.

I really like the Chucknuts one though.

Brianna M.

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPassion Fruit

That last cake is pretty awesome. The others are just lame, but that one definitely made me laugh. I'd get it for my dad just for the WTF factor.

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMeg Spencer


CHUCKNUTS!!!!! *Giggling* That is priceless.

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

So many good insults out, if I could only remember them when I need them.

Angie (from over at

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

I personally like the few pieces of round sprinkles that are trying to escape the side on Joe's cake.

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter:::b r a n d i:::

lmao, "chucknuts", wtf?

Oh, I needed that this morning. Thank you.

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTonyia

That last cake is totally not a wreck! It's awesome!!

I'm also with everyone else in thinking Chucknuts is the best nickname/insult ever. :D

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDawnspring

I love how Chucknuts is so old he requires a cane AND a wheel chair. Priceless!

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJess

HAHAHA! XD Joe is old :P These are hilarious cakes.

Oh! oh... no I don't think my birthday cake(s) really count as wrecks as they were quite ordinary looking....

...until we lit 710 candles that we had placed on them. I wonder if I have any pictures of that. Yeah 710 candles on 5 cakes. Long story involving an injoke that involves an error in the tax departments records but yeah...

Charity smells of latex. Oh yeah :P

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBilby P. Dalgyte

That wheelchair cake for Chucknuts is really well done. The artwork is perfection all the way down to the guy's beefy calf muscles, which have remained quite well-defined for a dude confined to a wheelchair.

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMy Feet Hurt

I'd love to know how many recipients cried when they received their cake.

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTiggy

Oddly enough, my friend Eric's last name is Fink, and he just had a birthday. Maybe that cake was intedend for him but he rejected it. Can't say I blame him. : )

And I'm so calling my boyfriend Chucknuts from now on. It's a new term of endearment.

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMadame Hook.

Is it too late to put "chucknuts" on the book jacket?

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarmaduke

Funny because I didn't even think of Charity being a name at first. I thought someone was all against 'saving the children' or donating to Salvation Army or something: Charity smells!

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaurenH

Perhaps the "Fink" cake is actually a poorly-penned cake for someone (nick)named "Tink"?

Also, perhaps Charity smells is meant to convey that Charity goes around sniffing things. Depending what she and her friends (and the wreckerator) have been sniffing, that would explain a thing or two.

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjackie31337

can we talk about what's going on amidst the border of "charity smells? broken cookies? asphalt?

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKim

Fink was a pretty common name in the south in the early 1900's. I guess it's possible the cake is for someone turning 100...

It was my great-grandfather's name, short for Finkley.

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wonderful site you have here, you've given me many great laughs!

I was always taught that "smells" is a verb... I believe to properly insult Charity one would have to say she stinks :)

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterccinnkeeper

I know a guy named Chuck with a great sense of humour. I'm gonna start calling him "Chucknutts!" LOL

These cakes are sad.

~Amy B.

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

At first glance I thought those gems on the gold digger cake were condoms. :-o

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter2slippers

Maybe there was an office party and there were two Charity's in the office---Charity Smells and Charity Smith. This way, the ladies can tell exactly which cake was theirs. Showing the Charity Smith cake just wouldn't have made sense and isn't near as funny as Charity Smells. I also thought it might have been someone who was against donating to those less fortunate......

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Bah! Your mother was a hamster!

WV: dictogi- Dictogi walked into a bar. Chucknuts ducked...

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The lack of overall smarts in the "Gold Digger" inscription is only fitting as the man who put that phrase in the vernacular is himself not a fan of literacy (per this week's Sunday Sweets). Some legacy, eh?

Thus concludes my first CW comment ever. Thanks for making my mouth water with a side of laughter every day.

Just found your blog the other night and laughed out loud to myself with each entry I read. I even had to call my brother in and we were just hysterical!

Love your blog. You're definitly the highlight of my blog reading time now :)

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenofWA

Charity smells cake!!

Come on, how hard was that? :)

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCyndi

I worked for a Dr Fink (who, name notwithstanding, is an awesome doc and a wonderful man). And when we referred to him or to the other doctor, we just called them by their last names. As in 'Fink said he needs to be out of here by 5, so let's try to not overschedule this afternoon.'

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterholly

Loved the gold digger one especially after the post about Kanye the other day. The Charity one I first read as "Cavity Smalls". On the "Youth Forgot" one, I think they were going for changing the color every other letter but they got messed up on "Forgot" so I thought maybe there was a hidden message there. I got either "o toro" or "rotoo". And I saw "Happy Birthday Tink" at first, but probably because my boyfriend calls me Tink. I better never get a cake like that!

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie H.

LOL, Chucknuts!

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercottoncolors

So glad I found your blog. You make me laugh out loud every stinking time! Bless you!

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

My first thought upon seeing the "Fink" cake was, "Oh geez, I hope that cake wasn't meant for my friend Tink." *

Then I started thinking about all those Rat Fink figures I had when I was a kid (showing my age here).

And Chucknuts has officially been added to my vocabulary of insults, although I better not use it around Pastor Chuck.

*I don't know why my friend had Tink as a nickname anyway. I guess it was better than Tater.

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterScritzy

Re wheelchair AND cane: the cane is so he can whack annoying youngsters.

Re the name "Fink": I believe it's German for "finch" so that's probably the origin for many people. I like the idea of being named after a cute little bird.

If only they'd put a hamster on the Charity cake, then we wouldn't have to wonder. Maybe it's elderberry flavored cake.

wv today is "sweates," which is something I fear we'll see on a Wreck sooner or later.

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Okay so I actually liked "hey joe..... your old".
It's my kind of humor, and I think the lack of punctuation adds something.

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdragonfield

I LOVE that last cake.

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterskatej

I had trouble deciding if cake #2 was actually written in English. There are an awful lot of extra curls and lines that made me think the wreckerator was using a different alphabet.

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Want to brighten someone's day? Introduce them to the word "Chucknuts".

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Chucknuts made me giggle like a loon.

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdenisewalks

I know a guy who's name is, seriously, Harry Ballz. How would THAT look on a cake?!

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStacie

It's really a shame that Charity Smells because the cake is quite lovely.

And Chucknuts made me ROFL.

Youth Forgot? Are you trying to remind someone of their misspent youth with a cake that looks like an LSD-trip rendered in frosting? If so, good show!


June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

I love the word "Chucknuts." I have NO IDEA what it means, but it made me laugh!

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>