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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jun052009

And Now, MORE Weird Wedding Cakes

Aw, you know you love it.

Monica G. thinks this cake from the Wilton website looks like it's covered with rocks. I, however, say it looks like a pottery project. Covered in rocks.

And here we have...

A fish tank.

In a wedding cake.

That is all.

(Thanks, Phyllis L.)

If that isn't fishy enough for you, though, there's always this option:

(Look closely.) I am amazed, Karin. Completely freaked out, but amazed.

(UPDATE: Nope, these aren't Koi fish. Or imitation crab meat. For a close-up and explanation, go here.)

Laura M. tells me this next one is a "new take on a croquembouche gone awry". Now, I have no idea what a "croquembouche" is, but from looking at the photo...

I'm going to guess it's French for "albino booby tower".

And lastly, let's take a "peep" at Courtney S.'s find:

Hm. Now why does this topper remind me of the final scene in Beetlejuice?

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Reader Comments (295)

One can only hope that the fish in the tank weren't able to see the cake underneath.

I was already trembling a little because of that third cup of coffee this morning. Now I'm actually shaking. Yikes.

A croquembouche is a French wedding cake. It's a pretty much just a tower of creme puffs, which can be good or bad (I've had both kinds).

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersnarkygurl

What is the cake that looks like bleeding fish??? I am a bit disturbed.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Cat's Pajama

OMGoodness...these were too weird...and funny! That chocolate cake looks like something my chocoholic d'ter would choose, though... and I would actually politely decline a piece of wedding cake (never happens) if it involved either of those fish cakes (esp after cleaning out a goldfish tank for a few months)... but I almost spit on my screen when I saw your comment on the albino cake PHAHAHA!!!...and I'll have to admit, while a little strange, that peeps cake IS creative.
TFS...I love to laugh! =)

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterstevendeah

My three year old (who loves this site) said, "WOAH! Why is there a cake with ROCKS on it?!"

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

"albino boobie tower" - ROFLMAO. The peeps cake is just too bizarre for words, and it DOES look like the beetlejuice scene. What the heck is on the third one from the end, harpooned fish is my guess?? At any rate, you have one again made my morning :)

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCatmania

Wow, um, not such whether today's or yesterday's are weirder, but "albino booby tower" is the funniest line from your commentary on both sets.

Seriously, a fish tank? Or peeps? I'd almost rather have the polygamous topper than either of those.

Word verification: bicri - The bride and baker were bicring over whether or not the cake was exactly what she had in mind when she said "croquembouche."

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

A croquembouche is basically a towering pile of separate profiteroles (cream puffs) that guests can pick off and eat individually.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJohn Armstrong

Are those dead dolphins? I just can't figure it out.

And, you said booby! LOL

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbttrflybabydoll

The creepy dead fish cake is messed up.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

Fish tank in the cake...that is so nasty. ::Shivers::

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSully

gaaaah! is that cake covered in koi, or used tampons???

so very wrong...

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterevilsciencechick

I hope the dead bloody fish cake was just an experiment in a pastry class, or an art project or something... If there's really someone on this Earth who had that as their wedding cake, I'm moving to Mars.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

I've been reading Cake Wrecks for a while now but today is the very first time I've been rendered completely speechless. Bleeding shark cake? I can't even beging to imagine the situation where someone would actually make/want/create such a thing.

Wow.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

Croquembouche- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Croquembouche

LOVE the peeps cake...awesome.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I need an some explanation for the third cake. My mind is going to a gross place with that one.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love the "Peeps" cake! I'm a little worried about the fact that the heads were removed to be replaced with "Peeps"!!!

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie Jackson

What the heck is that red and white one?

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShelley

i think the peeps cake is awesome! i hope they are stale, thats when peeps are the best! :)

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterutaduta

Wow, just wow.

The first one I expect to see water trickling down from, does it not look like a fountain?!?

I don't think I could eat anything that had been assembled around a fish tank.

Are those Coy fish? Seriously? They look like you could peel them off and eat them one by one, which is just weird.

I have a strong love for some Peeps. I also love cake. Put the two together, and this girl is in heaven!

Becky

wv: wharcar - something I expect to be made into a wreck someday.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The chocolate cake: the "rocks" are chocolate truffles. Mmmmmm.

The dead fish cake: Whiskey.Tango.Foxtrot.

You'd love croquembouche, Jen. It's sort of the traditional French wedding cake. It is basically a big pile of profiteroles (cream puffs) with caramel syrup gluing the whole thing together. Wikipedia actually has a couple good photos of properly made croquembouches: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Croquembouche

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPromise

Albino Boobie Tower. Great indie band name, for sure.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJeremy

I don't even know what to say.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Croquembouche is a dough cake that originated from France. I learned that from The Weekenders!

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMegan C

Fish! Why!?! In a tank or covering your CAKE? WHY??! WHY??! That's all I can ask, for the speech/language centers of my brain just exploded.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSpecial Sauce

Are those DEAD FISH on that cake?!?! Who has a cake like that and how did they come up with the idea?? Freddy Kruger?!Wow, that is just bizarre.

I think that first cake looks like a pottery project that someone pooped on (sorry for that image)

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJoMama

I think I've seen a picture of porpoises being slaughtered that looked like the third cake. I really hope that's not the inspiration... I wouldn't be able to eat any of that cake!

Although, to my shame, the peep cake looks tasty, even if the topper is a bit creepy.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarcelle

#3 Appears to be covered in used tampons. *ewwwww*

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMissy Ann

I had an extreme guttural reaction to that last one. Peeps are SO GROSS!! I can't believe they
d ruin a perfectly good cake by covering it in that demon spawn candy.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterViewtiful_Justin

Oh dear, those cakes are sure special :P

And for educational purposes:

A croquembouche or croquenbouche is a French dessert, a kind of pièce montée often served at weddings. It is a high cone of profiteroles (choux filled with pastry cream) bound with caramel, and usually decorated with threads of caramel, sugared almonds, chocolate, flowers, or ribbons.

The name comes from the French words 'Croque en bouche' meaning 'crunch in the mouth'.

The choux buns can also be made with savoury fillings.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCynthia

If I'm not mistaken, a croquembouche is one of those towers of creme puffs. Like a giant stack of Ferrero Rocher candies. I believe they're dipped in a sugar glaze and stuck together. Or at least that's how I think they're made. If not, hours of watching the Food network as taught me nothing!

Loyal reader and frequent LOL'er, and spreader of the hilarity,

Seth W.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSeth

It's actually Croque-en-bouche and it's a tower of cream puffs.

http://images.google.com/images?q=croque+en+bouche

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKim

Ok I'll admit it, I kind of like the fish tank one. Shoot me now, but I love fish. However the tower of koi is not my cup of tea. At first I thought it was a jacked up tower of twisted candy canes.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCassykins

To me, the dead fish cake looks more like someone had a terribly bloody nose and too many boxes of tampons to stopper the bleeding.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBelle Ecrivaine

White bleeding fish!!? What does it MEAN??? You have to find the explanation for us, for mercy's sake, Please.
Thank you

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I can't stop looking at the peep cake topper...that's just hilarious.

#3 looks like a pile of severed thumbs. I keep trying to get closer to the screen to figure out what they're supposed to be, but I'm just baffled.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

the last one is definitely my favorite! I laughed outloud! Also, what the heck is that on that French cake? That looks disgusting!

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatieHen

are you kidding me...PEEPS?! UGH!

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChrista

I just posted a link to the Peeps group at Ravelry. Love the cake and hope they are stale, mmmmmm

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSuzann

Those are macaroons, so it really isn't a croquembouche...

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Croquembouche is delicious! It was my wedding cake. One of our guests complimented us later, telling us that he loved the "Timbit cake" (for non-Canadians, Timbits are Tim Hortons' donut holes).

I wonder if those Koi fish are gummi candy? There's not much that would make me decline a slice of cake, but the fish would do it.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The dead animal (seals? sharks? fish?) is beyond disturbing. I'm afraid I'd vomit on that cake - but would that make it look better, or worse?

wv - calatcho. That cake does kind of calatcho, saying, "Come! Let me gross you out!!"

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

I LOVE Peeps! creep wedding topper though. I would have just put a couple of bunny peeps on the top as bride and groom

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlina

I think the Koi one is creepy but cool too!

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlina

Prediction: Tonight I will have a nighmare in which giant Peeps go around decapitating people and using their bodies for world domination. Thank you for that...

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterknitwit

The "bleeding fish" cake is imitation crab meat, styled in a cake but for a station appetizer table

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ok the horriffic Bleeding Fish Cake looks to me like Sharks (Dolphins?) that have had their dorsal fin cut off... which is leading to the blood... I'm not a fan of sharks really, but this freaks me right out!

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLis

Hi Jen!
Always entertaining to browse Cake Wrecks.

A Croque-en-bouche is a French pastry desert that consists of puffed pastry balls filled with cream (cream puffs), mounted into a tower and wrapped in sugar/honey strands. It a is great show-piece and I believe is popular for weddings.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristianne

I think # 3 is supposed to be koi fish. Some people are obsessed with those things (my mother's husband is one.) It wouldn't surprise me if he asks to have a koi fish buried with him.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdigbugsgirl

Promise hit the nail on the head.

"I dunno. It needs
More whiskey-tango-foxtrot.
Where's the dead pet store?"

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

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