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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jun052009

And Now, MORE Weird Wedding Cakes

Aw, you know you love it.

Monica G. thinks this cake from the Wilton website looks like it's covered with rocks. I, however, say it looks like a pottery project. Covered in rocks.

And here we have...

A fish tank.

In a wedding cake.

That is all.

(Thanks, Phyllis L.)

If that isn't fishy enough for you, though, there's always this option:

(Look closely.) I am amazed, Karin. Completely freaked out, but amazed.

(UPDATE: Nope, these aren't Koi fish. Or imitation crab meat. For a close-up and explanation, go here.)

Laura M. tells me this next one is a "new take on a croquembouche gone awry". Now, I have no idea what a "croquembouche" is, but from looking at the photo...

I'm going to guess it's French for "albino booby tower".

And lastly, let's take a "peep" at Courtney S.'s find:

Hm. Now why does this topper remind me of the final scene in Beetlejuice?

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Reader Comments (296)

Why is there a cake made to look like intestines? White...bloody...intestines?

Also, that peep cake totally FREAKED ME OUT.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commentershine

Okay, I'm sorry. I really am. But the white and red cake looks like a giant heap of bloody tampons.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

I think the dead fish cake must have something to do with shark fin soup - a very expensive Asian delicacy. To make it, sharks are caught, their fins are hacked off, and they are thrown back into the ocean to die. It's barbaric.

Maybe that cake is an obscure way of wishing the bride and groom wealth and affluence. ick.

...or maybe it's a social commentary about wastefulness and hedonism. After all, the comment, "let them eat cake," was uttered by someone who "gargles with shark fin soup." (as they say in Hong Kong)

Either way, it's dreadful.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTA

Albino booby tower! OMG!!!I can't stand it! SO FUNNY!!! And the "Peeps" people, totally creepy!!! I have to say the fish cake was pretty creepy too, it looked like a bunch of gutted fish... They should have picked a different color for that at least!

DK
http://uberfoodnoob.blogspot.com/

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKritterBugg

"Albino booby tower". I haven't laughed that hard in awhile. Oh you bring joy to my life!!

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

Those "rocks" are chocolate covered espresso beans, I believe. My husband has 3 giant bags of them from Costco...

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersharalyns

That chocolate one is ugly, but it DOES make me want some chocolate

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJoellyn

I'm actually kinda sad that someone who runs a cake blog didn't know what a croquembouche was. :/

Unless it's routinely iced and decorated, it generally wouldn't show up on this non-French blog, so it doesn't make me sad. I AM sad that what look to be delicious (albeit boobie-shaped) meringues aren't availabe in the lunch-room vending machines here. Meringue or cream-filled-choux, I'd eat it.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersilly philly

The fish tank cake is odd, but the bleeding sperm (or whatever??) is gross.

I like the pottery cake.
~Amy B.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

*gah!* Left out...

The croquembouche-gone-wrong looks, upon closer inspection, as if it could be made of white-(not!)chocolate-dipped Mallomars.

That is all...for real this time :)

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersilly philly

I'm assuming the couple who requested the third cake really love shark fin soup??

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

A croquembouche or croquenbouche is a French dessert, a kind of pièce montée often served at weddings. It is a high cone of profiteroles (choux filled with pastry cream) bound with caramel, and usually decorated with threads of caramel, sugared almonds, chocolate, flowers, or ribbons.

The name comes from the French words 'Croque en bouche' meaning 'crunch in the mouth'.

The choux buns can also be made with savoury fillings.

Alternative spellings include croquenbouche and croquebouche.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAriel

I think my WV says it all: terroar, as in: I am terroarized by the dead fish cake.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristina

Thank you, these are MUCH wreckier than yesterday's!!!

The fish tank... the bloodied, unidentifiable fishy bodies (or tampons)... the PEEP HEADS?!?!?

You have made my day.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSkye

The big pile of stabbed-dead fish is a little much...

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSimsKatie

The top one is obviously covered in malted milk balls. ...mmmm...malted milk balls....

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCboldwoman

I LOVE the Peeps!

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterone-eared pig

That red-and-white one looks like it's made of knotted-up bloody bandages. Ew.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertinimaus

Eww. Who would want a tower pile of what looks like bloody gauze squares? Is the bride a school nurse where skinned and bloodied knees rum rampant?

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSander

Um...Is that a tower of bloody tampons?!

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercrissy

the dead fish/dolphin cake is super creepy. I'd sure love to know the backstory on that one.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJ

what the..?! bloody tissues? used tampons? severed fingers wrapped in gauze? what are those things?!?! ... better question... do i want to know? o.0

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEricrazy

Okay, that first cake looks like a pottery project liberally sprinkled with Krispy Kreme donut holes. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

And the tower of dead fish? What can one say but Eeew?

But I love the last one. I mean, it's a cake for the bride, the groom, and all their peeps.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermadrobins

We had a croquembouche cake for a family dinner on our wedding weekend and it totally rocked. You are right on about the albino booby tower though. That one is freaky looking!

The pile of fish is absolutely bizarre.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlearp17

Am I the only one that kind of likes the chocolate rock one? Perhaps I am just imagining the taste. Mmmm...chocolate rocks.

On another, more grotesque note, is that supposed to be used tampons on the white/red cake????? Not even chocolate could have helped that.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

The shark-fin cake is amazing... particularly the close-up. http://www.flickr.com/photos/theladygloom/3400939386/in/photostream/

Of all of them, it's the least absurd, but the most horrific-looking. At least it's for a cause. I'd rather have it than a listing fish tank!

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

creepy, creepy creepy! ugh, especially the peep-headed bride and groom? I lay that blame at the happy couple's doorstep, that was a very specific request! :( *shudder*

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersmiles :)

French for "albino booby tower" - classic!

I have to agree with those who thought the chocolate rock cake looked kinda good. Maybe it's my diet speaking for me though...

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Wilton cake looks like edible chocolate bowls filled with delicious truffles. I would help eat that cake.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCallahan

The peep thing is hella creepy. As for the dead gutted fish? *shudders* oh my god. I have a phobia. I am afraid of fish. I would have run screaming from the reception hall. Also, it's in rather poor taste!

The croquembouche thing is ok to me provided that it tastes good.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

The first cake isn't that bad despite it looking like something somebody pooped all over; it would go over well in my family.

The bloody tampon fish cake is disgusting. At first I thought it was peppermint icing mixed with red food coloring frosted and woven together, then I saw the fish shapes. Some couples really go too far in making a statement. You can express yourself without grossing your guests out.

I can't get behind the Peeps cake...I hate those things.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBree

Those are - ? Those are sh - THOSE ARE SHARKS?? "A tower of albino boobies?" Peep heads?? I can't go on.

This is maybe my mostest favoritest entry EVER.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

yaaaah you're better than me. i saw the wilton cake and thought "yup. poop." mhm. mature, i am not.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterflamegoddess65

I'm disappointed in myself. I have a morbid, and dirty mind that I pride myself in, yet I didn't see anything but Koi fish in the third cake. It makes me sad that I couldn't see a gaggle of horrible things in that cake.

I guess it just shows the level of depravity you need to see these things! I'm outdone!

WV - "Chomm" I'd totally chomm that chocolate cake if offered a slice.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterleftyposters

albino boobie tower OMG!

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlix

WHAT is the third cake?? What are those? I'm dying to know!!

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

#3 is covered in Koi people! It's a type f fish, not bloody dolphins or tampons.

The peeps one is creepin me out!

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristina

Yes, I am glad I am not the only one who thought the third cake was bloody tampons. Or severed fingers.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKathy McC

Sure that was a http://www.jonathanadler.com/shop/product.php?productid=16760&cat=452&page=1&initial=" rel="nofollow">Jonathan Adler Booby Cake

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterIan

Regarding the last cake...

WHATUP, PEEPS!

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRufus Opus

YIKES! Add me to the list of folks who immediately thought "bloody tampons" after seeing that cake.

That rock cake does look yummy, though.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVinessa

Ewwww I cant stand peeps. That cake looks downright nasty! I thought the dead fish one was bad, but now Im not sure which is worse...

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

I love fish and at one time owned 5 fish tanks....although one held hermit crabs.....anyway, I can see someone possibly incorporating a little fish tank into their wedding cake. But as another person put it, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot indeed about the DEAD fish cake! At first I thought they were Koi and I thought, "Oh how cute.." then I realized they'd been gutted or something! That's just horrible.
The wedding guests of all the other cakes in this post must have been rushed to the hospital afterwards in hyperglycemic shock!

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne Dargie

can i venture a guess that the dead whale cake is for someone who really really really wishes their name was captain ahab?

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNiki

I have actually made the Wilton truffle tower for a bridal show before and it went over really well- everyone loved it. Of course, I scaled down considerably on the truffles...

I'm really lovin' these wrecks! I think yesterday's was great though- everytime I think of "chucknuts" I can't keep myself from giggling. I first seen it at work and almost snorted. Luckily I held it together and didn't get any weird looks ;)

Samantha

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Those really supposed to be dead fish?

I am so disturbed. I thought they were tampons at first to be honest.

Dead, bleeding fish is much more disturbing.

WV: djoulawe -- hopefully the name of the DJ at my wedding!

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPassion Fruit

I wonder how long it took for the cake layer beneath the fish tank to collapse under the weight. It's already leaning dangerously in the photo.
They shoulda gone with gummi fish in a jello aquarium instead of the real thing.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

The local French bakery makes croquembouche cakes for weddings, but I've never seen an "albino". http://www.jeanmarcchatellier.com/croquembouche.html

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterhusky mom

so.. funny. and validates my anti - sea-food stance.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMuum

Love the Peep cake - wish I could do my own wedding over again so I could have one of those bad boys!

Oh and why is that one cake covered in bloody punctured lower intestines?

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

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