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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Saturday
Jul112009

Early Detection is Key

During these summer months, it's extra important to perform regular bakery checks. So just remember your ABCs, everyone:

A: Is the "design" awful?
B: Is the border ragged or irregular?
C: Is the color reminiscent of a contagious skin disease?

If you see anything suspicious, don't delay: photograph the offending specimen and submit it to a licensed professional* immediately.

*And by "licensed professional", I mean "the blogger who specializes in ridiculing ridiculous Wreckage". (Now say that three times fast...)

Eric P., thanks for this important reminder.

- Related Wreckage: How To Make Your Twins Hate You

« Sunday Sweets: Harry Potter | Main | Love is in the Air... »

Reader Comments (131)

Personally, in that gawdawful paint job that looks like a Rorschach test, I see a dog yakking fire... What does that say about me?

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

Alyssa:

"commas and periods always go inside the quotation marks."

I hate to be a nitpicker too, but I really feel the need to clarify because many people don't know this:

This is not true if you learned your punctuation somewhere like Canada or possibly England. For example, something that bothered me when I moved to America, why put a period inside the quotations for the end of your sentence if it was not the original end to the quoted sentence? This like this can change the meaning in some cases. It also becomes technically troublesome if you're quoting something like a password, because you've just added something to it that shouldn't be there.

Also, I'm also really getting the sanitary pad motif from this. Not appetizing!

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

I don't want to gross anybody out, but I think it looks like a bloody menstrual pad. Eww.

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermariamousie1

That's not frosting... someone cut their finger and let it bleed on the cake...

No wait... maybe someone with a bloody nose sneezed...

Wow, the possibilities of bleedy ickiness are just endless.

July 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJust Me,Pilgrim

Is that blood!? I didn't really think there were sharp objects involved in icing a cake....hmmm...or did they just forget to stir IN the food coloring?

wv: crable-try the new family fun game CRABLE!

July 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRayne

Is it possible that (in the spirit of the Twilight movies) that they were hoping for cake-loving vampires?

July 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichele

Others have said it, but I've gotta reiterate, I think it looks like a "Welcome to Womanhood" cake.

One giant maxi pad with fresh blood. Quite appetizing.

July 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter~* N *~

Ummm.... WHAT?!?!?!?!?! There are literally no words for this cake.

July 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

Oh, at first sight, I thought for over a minut: "That is no cake!! Never ever!! It is this finnish cheese my mother likes so much!!"

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/42/Leip%C3%A4juusto_cheese_with_cloudberry_jam.jpg" rel="nofollow">Finnish cheese "Leipäjuusto"

Then I looked on the bigger sized image. And the "cheesecake" has a decoration with cream or what ever. So, maybe it is really a cake, which looks like "Leipäjuusto" or it is "Leipäjuusto" with decorating, which makes the whole case in both ways "eeeewwwww".

July 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSara

Sorry Alyssa, commas and fullstops work the same way as exclamation marks and question marks. If its part of the sentence they go outside.

July 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

That has to be the worst decorated cake ever!!!!

July 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter9258 Photo

From the Holt Handbook (1986):
"Quotation marks belong outside the comma or period at the end of a quotation.
Quotation marks belong inside a semicolon or colon at the end of the quotation.
Quotation marks may be placed inside or outside a question mark, exclamation point, or dash at the end of the quotation depending on the sentences meaning."
Things may have changed since 1986, I'm not sure.
I think if the quotation ends the sentence and it is not the end of the quotation ellipsis could be used. But it may be better just to restructure the sentence so the quotation doesn't end the sentence.

@grimperspective - please consider writing a story for all cake wreck posts!

July 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterApril

Baker's note to customer: "This IS exactly what you ordered, Mrs. Rorshach. I can see it. Can't you see it?" signed "Siggy, from the One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest Bakery."

July 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBevB

Wow, the Always commericial is catching on. Nothing say "Have a happy period", like a cake.

wv: commi...haven't heard that term is a while.

July 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHyena Overlord

Gross.

July 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

Call the county health inspector! This has got to be some kind of violation!

July 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSuzie Q

what y'all can't see the horse and chariot and the strong arm man lifting weights?

Jumped right out at me
....

after the initial "ick" thought passed by me......

July 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnnette

Was there a murder in this bakery? The DNA is on this cake!

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I am not going to post what I think it looks like. 0_o

What I WILL say is the 2nd thing that came to mind--a Rorschach inkblot!

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

I'm going to have to go with those who say that looks like blood. I have no idea what it was supposed to be or how it managed to get wrecked like that, but that is one heck of an epic wreck!

wv: shalli - Shalli call the CSIs to investigate this one?

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

This could be something much more horrifying, more scream inducing than a bloody cake.

...It could be the sign of another Stevie Famulari emerging.

The horror!! The HORROR!!

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Maybe its another Harry Potter cake! From the movie (Name escapes me)where they look inside the tea cups and Harry Potter has the grim!

Stacy

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hmmm. It's a "Let's Celebrate Murder" cake.

July 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Good lord,

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commentergovind

They were actually selling this???

Did airbrush dye get spilled on this? O__O

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkristen

If this is a "Dexter" cake, I bet there are better examples out there. More but different, please...

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Perhaps it was meant to be Rorschach from the Watchmen comic series?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rorschach_%28comics%29

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbeagle

This is what happens when you forget the primer

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Mrs. Lovett has a new business...

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLavia

"And what does this splatter look like to you?"
For the sake of sanity, we'll say it is supposed to be for a psychiatrist's birthday. :3

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterthe LaFond's

I think it's supposed to be blood spatter. Perhaps someone is a CSI fan...

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPosterChild42

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