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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Aug102009

I Wanna Be a Wreck Star

Are you still preoccupied with 1985? (With Bruce Springsteen, Madonna, way before Nirvana...)

If so, then I'm sure you understand wanting an 80s pop star on your cake. Uh. Right?

For instance, how about the artist formerly - and now back to currently - known as Prince?

Yeah, he'd totally rock on a cake. Maybe for a birthday, bridal shower, or any nondescript "sexy" occasion, really.

[PHOTO REMOVED - Sorry, guys, turns out the cake wasn't a pro job. You'll just have to let your imagination run free in place of the actual Wreck.]

Great glaring gobs of guy-liner! I'm pretty sure those lips would make doves cry.
(Say, what kind of cake is this again? Oh, that's right: it's filled with [singing] "RAS-pberry puree...")

Hey, what's Demi Moore doing here?

Oh, sorry, Demi; that's Boy George. Well, I'm sure he'd be great on a cake, too.


Of course, I have been wrong before.

How about a photo cake? Do you have "Faith" that would look better?


Wham I'm not sure that "wham" is appropriate in front of every wham sentence. Wham what do you think? Wham am I right?

And finally, I have to end with what is most certainly NOT a Wreck, so don't even bother trying to find fault with it:

Yep, THAT, my friends, is a David-Bowie-from-Labyrinth cake, aka quite possibly the Coolest Birthday Cake Ever. This thing is up there with the Darth Vader Baby Shower cake in my book. (Well, not the actual book. The figurative one.) Not only does it feature the Goblin King himself, it ALSO says - and with correct quotation marks, even - "You Remind Me of the Babe."

What babe, you ask? Why, the babe with the power.

This cake has renewed my faith in both the airbrush and future generations, so kudos to Maddy's parents for giving her a proper education in all things awesome.

Jenny M., Brian K., Anony M., & Lonny S, you have no power over me.


Related Wreckage: Guess Who!

UPDATE: So apparently, every one of you has seen Purple Rain and can tell that the first cake is actually supposed to be Epco...urm, Morris Day. And it turns out you are correct. Go figure. I'll leave it to Jen to decide how to adjust the post but in the meantime Sexy Morris up there is still giving me the stink eye so I'm still calling wreck. And yes, *sigh* we know George Michael was part of Wham! -john

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Reader Comments (224)

THE FIRST CAKE IS EPCOTTTTTTT!

ANNE-MARIE
THE WRECKSISTANT

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What power?

The power of voo doo!

Who do?

Do what?

Remind me of the babe!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlotsamamma

I look at that final one and all I can think is...well, pretty much what I think whenever I look at David Bowie:

"Take me to the drive-in and prove you love me!"

Mmmm...goblin king.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTwistie

Sorry, it is Morris Day, and here's the proof:
http://s93.photobucket.com/albums/l62/lacyegirl/Cake/

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That's not Prince, it's Morris Day, and it's actually pretty good. I'll never understand how anyone could ever mistake Prince and Morris Day.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMs. Iman

*gasp!* david bowie cake! eeee!

i would like to point out that it's not unreasonable for a 5 yr old to have a labyrinth cake like diddleymaz seemed to think it was. i mean labyrinth came out when i was, what 7?, and i thought it was the coolest.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessX

Yay! The Labyrinth cake makes me so happy : ) I was hoping from the beginning that David Bowie would make it on the list, and it's nice to see he's not a wreck!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSuzy

The hands on the BG cake are worrisome, but at least it's recognizably BG.

The Prince cake looks less like Price and more like a frightened 1950s backup doo-wop singer.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdiopsideanddiamonds

The David Bowie cake is pure awesomeness!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNosnin

I don't think that's a Prince cake, Jen. I think it's Morris Day (from the Time and also starred in "Purple Rain.").

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

I think the first wreck may be Morris Day from The Time. Clearly still a wreck however...

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ohhhhhhhhhhh, Labyrinth! Woe betide any who got to the video store before us on a slumber party night! But seriously, folks... "it's a piece of cake". ;-)

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

At least I am not the only one who thought the Prince cake looked like Morris Day. :D

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterct114

http://syndicated.livejournal.com/cakewrecks/115753.html?thread=268841#t268841" rel="nofollow">From the Livejournal RSS Feed

The first cake is a very good likeness of Morris Day, and that is one of his lines from the movie Purple Rain. Was it supposed to be Prince and the cake person got confused?

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"RAS-pberry puree.. ." is brilliant, even if I will have the song in my head for the rest of the day.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFairly Odd Mother

I would flip if someone got me the Boy George cake. OK, so he's gone off the deep end in the last couple of decades but back in the day I was a huge fan. I don't think it's that wrecky at all, you can tell who it's meant to be after all and that takes some skill.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterrhonda

The figure on that first cake looks more Thornton Reed from Darkplace than the Artist Formerly Known As. I can imagine Thornton yelling "Chop chop sexy" as well...

"Chop chop, sexy! This is from Won-Ton himself, and he's got a lawnmower, ya dig?"

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSchroduck

Dance Magic Dance!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDawne

That Prince cake looks more like Morris Day from Morris Day & The Time - Prince's warm-up band who were also in the movie Purple Rain.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkitschinlogic

Are you sure that's Boy George? I'm thinking it's a male Flamenco dancer. Or something.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

The Wham! cake might have been better had they used the actual name of the group... it wasn't "Wham" it was "Wham!" To quote the illustrious Vanilla Ice:

That little bitty !. It's not the same!

It would have made the cake make more sense at any rate.

And i'm glad i'm not the only one who thinks the Prince cake looks like Morris Day of The Time. OhEOhEOh indeed.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKethryvis

I think the second cake, while not looking much like Boy George (if it's even supposed to), looks better than the photo before it. Maybe the Wreckorator did it to save his sanity.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdeckardcanine

The Prince cake bears a striking resemblance to Morris Day of The Time fame... Anyone? Anyone??

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTeeVeeEll

I see Little Richard more than prince too, but either way it's a wreck. Raspberry puree had me laughing out loud!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

What power??

Love it!!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenna

Harley Quin, The group Cameo was actually led by Larry Blackmon. Morris Day lead the group The Time.

And that cake is definitely the spitting image of Morris Day. Still a wreck, but a good likeness.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNikki

Awwww, man! Now you have that song stuck in my head! "What power? The power of voodoo! Who do? You do! Remind me of the babe!" Bah... it's going to be a loooong day now. :)

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErica C.

My first thought too was "Morris Day". That's my final answer.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterQueen of the Universe

"ras-berry puree" .... LOL - you are awesome!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKayleen the Violinist

That's no wreck, that's Morris Day. An intentional Morris Day if I ever saw one.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErin Bradley

1. Prince has some wonky eyes going on in that cake. They go in different directions.

2. Looks more like a Native American of some sort than Boy George.

3. As for Jareth, all I can say is "I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave." Yowza!!!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterholly

BEST CAKE EVER!!! I want a goblin king cake next year for my bday!!! :) amazing!!!!!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCoffee with a Barista

I'm sorry, but the David Bowie cake is probably the scariest cake I've ever seen...that's probably b/c when I saw Labyrinth as a child I ran screaming from the room.

Seriously, it scared me and I had nightmares about goblins for days...

Hopefully I won't have nightmares of David Bowie for days...

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCtina

I LOVE the david bowie cake, I wish my parents would get me soemthing like that for my birthday.. Even though i am 18 already.. that movie is just so awesome.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That is SO Morris Day!!!!!!! Oh-ee-oh--ee-oh!!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

LOVE THE GOBLIN KING! :)

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelzie

You know, that first cake could be an homage to Morris Day and the Time - who was featured in Purple Rain, and could sort of be a round about tribute to Prince?

I got nothin.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdonkeyinawhitecoat

I seriously HAVE to have a David Bowie Labrinyth cake. I LOVE LOVE LOVE that movie!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristina

LABYRINTH CAKE!!!!! That's just pure awesomeness!

"It's a piece of cake." LOL

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterApril

The Power of Who Doo?

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

After reading the comments, I'm getting the feeling that the Prince cake is supposed to be someone else.

If only someone knew his name.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMorris Day

What power? :-)

I know someone already said that but LOVE that cake!!!!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

That prince cake oooks like Morris Day (minus the time of course).

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

That's not Prince on the first cake...it's Billy Dee Williams! Anyone want a Colt 45? ;)

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLizzy Leigh

The George Michael cake is even more wreckalicious than you thought, Jen. Did you notice "Happy Birthday Eve"? I doubt that the cake was intended to be presented on the day BEFORE the person's birthday. Beware the missing comma!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbabylilo

What power? The power of voodoo. Who do? You do.

Oh, I love that movie. David Bowie was never cooler.

Regarding putting "Wham" into your sentences, have you seen the kids show on PBS called "Word Girl"? There is a bad guy on that show called The Whammer, and he substitutes the word "wham" for other words in his sentences all the time. It's hilarious! "This is so not wham." It reminds me of the Smurfs, when they would insert "smurf" into normal words. "That's smurftastic, Papa Smurf!" Etc. Etc.

Anyway, that was quite a tangent, but your George Michael cake made me think of it.

Also, the Prince cake looks more like Little Richard to me.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda in Austin

That Boy George cake is actually pretty sweet!!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSasha

Lol Morris Day @ 11:28- who IS that first cake supposed to be? I feel like, at least 80 people should know who that is, and not hesitate to let us know.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKT

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