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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Aug102009

I Wanna Be a Wreck Star

Are you still preoccupied with 1985? (With Bruce Springsteen, Madonna, way before Nirvana...)

If so, then I'm sure you understand wanting an 80s pop star on your cake. Uh. Right?

For instance, how about the artist formerly - and now back to currently - known as Prince?

Yeah, he'd totally rock on a cake. Maybe for a birthday, bridal shower, or any nondescript "sexy" occasion, really.

[PHOTO REMOVED - Sorry, guys, turns out the cake wasn't a pro job. You'll just have to let your imagination run free in place of the actual Wreck.]

Great glaring gobs of guy-liner! I'm pretty sure those lips would make doves cry.
(Say, what kind of cake is this again? Oh, that's right: it's filled with [singing] "RAS-pberry puree...")

Hey, what's Demi Moore doing here?

Oh, sorry, Demi; that's Boy George. Well, I'm sure he'd be great on a cake, too.


Of course, I have been wrong before.

How about a photo cake? Do you have "Faith" that would look better?


Wham I'm not sure that "wham" is appropriate in front of every wham sentence. Wham what do you think? Wham am I right?

And finally, I have to end with what is most certainly NOT a Wreck, so don't even bother trying to find fault with it:

Yep, THAT, my friends, is a David-Bowie-from-Labyrinth cake, aka quite possibly the Coolest Birthday Cake Ever. This thing is up there with the Darth Vader Baby Shower cake in my book. (Well, not the actual book. The figurative one.) Not only does it feature the Goblin King himself, it ALSO says - and with correct quotation marks, even - "You Remind Me of the Babe."

What babe, you ask? Why, the babe with the power.

This cake has renewed my faith in both the airbrush and future generations, so kudos to Maddy's parents for giving her a proper education in all things awesome.

Jenny M., Brian K., Anony M., & Lonny S, you have no power over me.


Related Wreckage: Guess Who!

UPDATE: So apparently, every one of you has seen Purple Rain and can tell that the first cake is actually supposed to be Epco...urm, Morris Day. And it turns out you are correct. Go figure. I'll leave it to Jen to decide how to adjust the post but in the meantime Sexy Morris up there is still giving me the stink eye so I'm still calling wreck. And yes, *sigh* we know George Michael was part of Wham! -john

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Reader Comments (224)

The Prince cake looks like an 80s baseball player. Ken Griffey, Sr. maybe?

truth? the boy george cake isn't wreck-worthy...it's nicely done! not that i'd order it for *my* birthday (or anyone else's...)

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

The first cake is pepto pink!

mysleepinghusband.blogspot.com

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWide Awake Wife

I'm going to have "Dance, Magic, Dance" stuck in my head the rest of the day!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

"Prince" Looks more like Morris Day.

And excellent reference to Bowling for Soup!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wham I think I keep getting up every morning a little earlier, just to see if wham another cakewrecks article has been posted.... Wham great wrecks!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVeggieT

If it was a Morris Day rather than Prince cake they were going for, they'd be dead on!

The 'Labyrinth' cake -- hee, hee! I just made my FB profile photo a pic of Hoggle last night :)

Chantal

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Are you sure that isn't a young Al Sharpton on the Prince cake? lol.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

are you sure that the top one isn't meant to be Little Richard?

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Caked Crusader

That Prince cake looks more like Morris Day, you know, Morris Day and the Time? Anyway, Love the David Bowie Cake, it makes me feel the need to say, "You have no power over me!"

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeah K.

I think the first cake is Morris Day from Morris Day and the Time.
Oh - E - Oh - E - Oh
Are you sure it was supposed to be Prince?

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Is it me, or does the Prince cake look more like LIttle Richard?

Jenn

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjenncgf

That first cake may not look like Prince, but it sure as shoot looks just like Morris Day from The Time. Still, a wrecky mess.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKate

Haha, that Prince cake reminds me so much of Old Gregg from the Mighty Boosh:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_recurring_characters_from_The_Mighty_Boosh#Old_Gregg

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What power? ;0)

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Warden

Holy Freaking Crap that Labyrinth cake is awesome!

But I think I'll try to find fault with it, just to spite you. ;D

Ummmmm... David Bowie's hair could be bigger. I guess. Or maybe it could have some Realistic 3D Codpiece Action. XD

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjanet

That Prince cake looks more like Morris Day (Cameo) to me than Prince. What do you think: http://tinyurl.com/lhzpmm

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHarley Quinn

Hmmm... you sure they didn't ask for a Morris Day cake?

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEuan

Are you sure the Prince cake isn't supposed to be Morris Day from Morris Day and The Time? He is often mistaken for Prince, and the cake looks a lot like Morris Day from this photo: http://tinyurl.com/lhzpmm

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJacqui

That first one could be almost anyone from a young Sammy davis jnr onwards,The Boy george is good cant see any wreckiness there, as for George and Bowie just not my thing so "shudder" they give me the creeps.
As your such a fan of Labyrinth i supose we must indulge your blind spot about how is a 5 year old suposed to get that cake obviousley its for her Mum!!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdiddleymaz

I don't think the Boy George cake it TOO terrible -- If someone were to put it in front of me, I think I could at least guess who it's supposed to be. The Prince cake, on the other hand, I would think is of Little Richard. After he's been punched in the eye.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

The first cake looks more like Morris Day, methinks.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"RAS-pberry puree..." Hee! Hee! Hee!

I have a new song to sing and dance around the bakery. Thanks Jen ;D

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

Is it just me, or does David Bowie not have hands?

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Are you sure that's not Morris Day from the Time on the first cake? The mustache seems a bit thick for Prince.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLindsey

"Chop Chop Sexy" ??? If that's a Prince reference, I don't understand it (and I don't think I want to understand that one either...) must he glare like that at me?

Wham that's great stuff, I chortle out loud and I'm pretty sure my coworkers think I'm crazy---oh well!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That first cake looks more like Morris Day than Prince.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVicki

MY EYES!! That "Prince" cake is going to give me nightmares for weeks.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrideTide

That's not prince, it's Morris Day! It's a perfect likeness.
Really!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTralix

That Labyrinth cake is awesome. Every child should experience Labyrinth.

Every time I type Labyrinth it just looks wrong in so many ways.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

P.S. -- I think that looks more like LeVar Burton from "Reading Rainbow" than Prince on that wreck. Tell me you don't see it!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh my word. That Prince cake looks more like Little Richard than it does Prince! Little Richard with a lazy eye, actually.

I would also like to say that while I haven't seen "Labyrinth" in years and years, it is still one of my all-time favorite movies. I couldn't even attempt to count all the slumber parties that culminated in a marathon watching of "Labyrinth". That movie is pure '80's awesomness.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLindsey

Are you sure that's supposed to be Prince and not Morris Day (who also was in Purple Rain)?

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

The power of vooddoo.
Who do? You do?
You remind me of the babe.

That movie! I can still quote it line for line, and inflection for inflection!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarian the Librarian

That first cake looks eerily like Morris Day of The Time, actually.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenni L

I think that's Morris Day, not Prince.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJohn Overholt

Regarding the first one: I don't appreciate my food giving me the stink eye.

The Wham cake reads they are celebrating the recipient's Birthday Eve. I'm going to start celebrating my Birthday Eve in addition to my birthday. More cake, more presents!

As a side note, the Boy George cake reminded me of the time my stepson said he wanted to be either Michael Jackson or Boy George when he grew up. Yikes.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Courteous Chihuahua

BTW, before there was just George Michael, he was part of a duo called "Wham!" And before that there was a girl in the group and they were "Wham!U.K." Personally I think it was clever coming from a cheeky Brit!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterallie

The Prince cake looks more like Morris Day from "The Time". Remember? From Purple Rain?

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterApril

Jareth!
:D

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKristina

All I have to say is ... "Dance, Magic Dance!"

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAshley P.

That first cake bears the likeness of Morris Day, who plays Prince's nemesis in "Purple Rain", and "Chop Chop Sexy" is one of his lines from the movie. It's actually a pretty good rendering, if you ask me. Here's a photo for reference:
http://1.media.tumblr.com/9gZ9kQASihlqdpoelU1goYFVo1_400.jpg

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

that's not Prince. That's the boyfriend of the girl Eddie Murphy was after in "Coming To America" He worked for that hair care company and thought he was fabulous. He'd love to see himself on a cake.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCare

I think that cake is supposed to be Morris Day?

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDelux

I agree, Prince looks more like Morris Day.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterIsabel

Oh, how I love the 80's!!

But that Prince cake looks more like Morris Day, Prince's arch-nemesis, to me!! What do you think?

http://sportsmed.starwave.com/i/magazine/new/morris_day.jpg

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_DxzannJO9xM/RlrfXm8OmGI/AAAAAAAAAck/anUlUiu97IQ/s320/47740cbd34.jpg

Love your blog, Jen!!
-Christine

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The eyes on Prince, or Not Prince, really really freak me out.

I am in love with the Labyrinth cake. I started my girls early watching Labrynth, I can't have them going out into the big wide world uneducated!

Becky

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

THE FIRST CAKE IS EPCOTTTT!!!!

ANNE-MARIE
THE WRECKSISTANT

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterwrecksistant

Wham it seems wrong to put a David Bowie cake in the same post as Prince, Boy George, and George Michaels...completely different leagues!

Raspberry puree!? Painfully funny!

WV: elapoutf - I can't define it, but I think I saw them in pink frosting dancing around a champagne bottle last week!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

That's Prince cake looks like Morris Day from The Time! LOL

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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