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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Aug102009

I Wanna Be a Wreck Star

Are you still preoccupied with 1985? (With Bruce Springsteen, Madonna, way before Nirvana...)

If so, then I'm sure you understand wanting an 80s pop star on your cake. Uh. Right?

For instance, how about the artist formerly - and now back to currently - known as Prince?

Yeah, he'd totally rock on a cake. Maybe for a birthday, bridal shower, or any nondescript "sexy" occasion, really.

[PHOTO REMOVED - Sorry, guys, turns out the cake wasn't a pro job. You'll just have to let your imagination run free in place of the actual Wreck.]

Great glaring gobs of guy-liner! I'm pretty sure those lips would make doves cry.
(Say, what kind of cake is this again? Oh, that's right: it's filled with [singing] "RAS-pberry puree...")

Hey, what's Demi Moore doing here?

Oh, sorry, Demi; that's Boy George. Well, I'm sure he'd be great on a cake, too.


Of course, I have been wrong before.

How about a photo cake? Do you have "Faith" that would look better?


Wham I'm not sure that "wham" is appropriate in front of every wham sentence. Wham what do you think? Wham am I right?

And finally, I have to end with what is most certainly NOT a Wreck, so don't even bother trying to find fault with it:

Yep, THAT, my friends, is a David-Bowie-from-Labyrinth cake, aka quite possibly the Coolest Birthday Cake Ever. This thing is up there with the Darth Vader Baby Shower cake in my book. (Well, not the actual book. The figurative one.) Not only does it feature the Goblin King himself, it ALSO says - and with correct quotation marks, even - "You Remind Me of the Babe."

What babe, you ask? Why, the babe with the power.

This cake has renewed my faith in both the airbrush and future generations, so kudos to Maddy's parents for giving her a proper education in all things awesome.

Jenny M., Brian K., Anony M., & Lonny S, you have no power over me.


Related Wreckage: Guess Who!

UPDATE: So apparently, every one of you has seen Purple Rain and can tell that the first cake is actually supposed to be Epco...urm, Morris Day. And it turns out you are correct. Go figure. I'll leave it to Jen to decide how to adjust the post but in the meantime Sexy Morris up there is still giving me the stink eye so I'm still calling wreck. And yes, *sigh* we know George Michael was part of Wham! -john

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Reader Comments (224)

Thanks for the Raspberry song earbug. :op

They forgot the guyliner on Prince's right eye. Makes him look even creepier.

~Amy B.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

i LOVE Jareth....hmmm i want that cake.... >:}

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNĂ©na

Oooooh, I love David Bowie! This has made my day!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterangstiosis

Ok....I'm gonna make you all feel old by saying I have no clue who Morris Day is...or any other of the references really, but I do have to ask, what's with the googly eyes????

"She rocked out to Wham,
Not a big Limp Bizkit fan,
Thought she'd get a hand,
on a member of Duran Duran"

Oh great, I'm gonna have Bowling For Soup running through my head for ages now!!

W.V. fantram- Wouldn't it be scary if Boy George played the lead in the Fantram of the Opera?

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Wham Jen have I told you lately that I love you? Wham your funny comments crack me the Wham up.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMira8

My 6 year old daughter would definitely be friends with Maddie. She, too is a big David Bowie fan (and also a fan of Madelines, which I see a big plate of in the background.)

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love David Bowie. Sigh.

I never saw the Demi/BG resemblance before. Thanks for freaking me out.

:) Alex

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

oh, and having recently viewed "Purple Rain" on cable during a late night insomnia bout, I'm about 99% sure that's supposed to be Morris Day. And it really does look like him IMHO, although I have NO idea what "chop chop sexy" means.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMira8

I like 20th the folks who said the first cake was probably Morris Day. That's the first thing that popped in to my head when I saw that cake. It also fits more with the text. Morris Day does, in fact, say "Chop, chop!"

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMadd

The Babe with the Power! Love the labryinth cake! That's awesome!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTiffani

Love the Labrynth cake. Finally I have found others out there who are true fans. Love you CW!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrandon & Aimee

My family just randomly says, "You remind me of the babe..." during the day. I thought we were the only ones.

wv: phsound: the acidity of sound

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermimi

The Labyrinth cake is AWESOME.

That said, there's even better news: there may someday be a sequel! WOOHOO!!! Check it out: "the final, crazy bit of news from Jim Henson's son is the studio's desire to return to the world of their cult classic Labyrinth. Henson described this idea by saying "Actually, we're talking about doing something different with Labyrinth but I can't really talk about it." The existence of such a film is highly contingent upon the success of Dark Crystal 2. This means get out there and watch DC2 at least a dozen times each and encourage your friends to do the same. And by encourage, I mean force."

http://www.cinematical.com/2006/05/06/brian-henson-talks-dark-crystal-2-fraggle-rock-and-labyrinth-2/

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShalmeno

The Jareth cake *is* missing something... an enormous codpeice.

Oh please... don't pretend you didn't look.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMalMal

the Prince on the Prince cake has a wonky eye and his mustache is growing out of his left nostril

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMella

Totally Morris Day IN Purple Rain. :)

http://www.indamixworldwide.com/html/images/indamix/interviews/Morris%20Day.jpg

www.xanga.com/crafttealady

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCraft Tea Lady

Whoa. First cake would be marginally okay except for the, erm, unfortunate eye. (Raspberry puree, LAWLZ)

Boy George is actually pretty well done. Hope Mike didn't "want to hurt" the wreckorator too much! (unless he ASKED for BG on a cake!)

George Michael looks happy. I'd have a hard time cutting into his face. Photo cakes=bad idea.

And anything with Jareth is win.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

Upon rethinking it, I guess the Prince cake could also be Jesse, or Jerome?

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDelux

The amount I love that Labyrinth cake can't even be put into words...

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStr4yk1tt3n

Why is that David Bowie cake so great? It looks cartoony.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

So, who did the awesome Labyrinth cake?

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaggie

I'm surprised there is not a Madonna one! :)

Carrie of www.bellacupcakecouture.com

The more I stare at that Boy George cake, the more he looks like Rick Astley. I feel like I have been rickrolled by proxy...

I just watched Labyrinth again last night and the Jareth cake is awesome. :)

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKathrine

Probably my favorite movie of all time? Labyrinth. Think I'll go watch it right now!

The power of Voo-doo
Who do?
You do!
Do what?
Remind me of the babe!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjamiebentley

*SQUEEEEEEEEEEE* I LOVE the Labyrinth cake!!! I want! :-P

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSlatsette

Oh, how I wish I had that Bowie cake a few months ago when I did a project on Labyrinth in one of my classes!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlexandra

"Hopefully I won't have nightmares of David Bowie for days..."

Those aren't nightmares. ^.^

"The Jareth cake *is* missing something"

Yes, yes it is, and if you're over 30 you looked for it. My first thought was "Pity that cake is for a 5-year-old...the best bit is missing".

What, you think every teenage girl in my high school was crushing on David Bowie because he could sing??? Please. :)

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterwishinonehand

Wham! I love Labyrinth!

You remind me of the babe.
What babe?
The babe with the power.
What power?
The power of voodoo.
Who do?
You do! Remind me of the babe.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Cake magic cake.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGlory von Hathor

FINALY! Someone got it right..

The power of Voo Doo.

Who do?

You do.

DO WHAT?

...remind me of the babe.

And did I read it right that there is a DARK CRYSTAL 2???

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

gotta love the David Bowie cake. I bet her parents let her watch "School of Rock" over and over instead of Cinderella or whatever.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

Sorry Jen - I must be living in a cave or something. I recognize the names, but that's it - this is the first time I've EVER said "boring!" to your blog. (And I'm sure it will be the last, too!!!!!)

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPat

Love the Labyrinth cake. My kids and I love that movie. And yes, I looked for the cod piece. Holy heck that thing was awesome.

I heard about the Dark Crystal II but never saw any promo for it.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It's hard to make fun of the way an artist renders a Boy George cake without making fun of who in their right mind wanted a Boy George cake.

--- shrug ---

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpudenda shenanigans

Am I the only one who immediately thought of the "The Whammer" from Word Girl on PBS when Jen kept saying "wham" at the begining of her sentences?

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGlindie

The David Bowie cake is quite possibly the greatest thing I have ever seen on the Internet. Ever. Thank you, Jen for bringing it to the light!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSavannah

Thanks anony for posting the link to the "Prince" cake! I was curious.

Also, I think Boy George is no wreckier than David Bowie...

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Is it wrong that after all the wreckage displayed, I can only see the madelines in the Bowie photo and think of Marcel Proust. Anyone? Where my literary homies at?

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterI Love Baby Quilts!

Oooo...this is what I get for not reading the comments first, I see someone else must have little ones at home.

On yet another tangent...I really thought you meant Morris Day as in with the dancers and the bells in England...I was really confused until I read the comments. >.>

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGlindie

This blog makes me laugh out loud! I love it!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSeansmoma

OMG! My friend's bday is this week, I need a duplicate of that David Bowie cake ASAP! :D Completely amazing.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertwilightlurve

"Ludo love Sarah"

And I love Labyrinth, and CakeWrecks!

I've actually been considering doing a Labyrinth cake for the next local cake show, to practice my sugar sculpting skills! Hope it turns out anywhere close to that cool!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSherry

The Jareth cake IS fabulous...

but...

there seems to be a candle right on the Fabulous Bowie Bulge. O_O

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTindy

I really don't think the Boy George cake is all that bad, especially considering the subject matter. Now why someone would WANT a Boy George cake is another issue entirely. But I thought the Bowie cake was a little off, it looks more like Bon Jovi to me. And the first one that's no longer shown is a actually pretty good Morris Day, considering that it's non-pro!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnnette

Score! I saw this post first thing this morning as my daughter was looking at the site and I said, "That cake looks more like Morris Day than Prince." Of course, she had no idea who I was talking about.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelindaB65

I love, love, love Labyrinth. I love even more that you have the lines from the movies memorized. Your a cake goddess after my own heart. ;)

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTobi

To those of you too young to get this post... Pbbbbt!
JK. :)
To those of you pointing out what is missing from the Bowie rendering, thanks for explaining why I love him.
I didn't think of that, it must have been subliminal.
:)
Alex

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm confused. Other than being a Boy George cake, what's wrong with the Boy George cake?

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCyndi

Thank you so much for making my day! I LOVE Labyrinth!

Now I must go home and watch it. :)

Maybe my kids will fall in love with it like they did The Princess Bride.

as you wish....

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

Power of voodoo...
Who do?
You do!
Do what?
Remind me of the babe!

Okay, I'm done.

P.S. If you want to see a replica of the Bog of Eternal Stench, go to Yellowstone and see the Mud Volcano area. Not kidding.

Okay, NOW I'm done.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPunkyseed

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