My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Wreck Creators

"Hi, Mr. Smith? This is Wreck-Creation Bakery calling to confirm your order. Would you mind telling me the kind of cake you wanted again?"

[writing] "...'in middle'. Ok, great. And what did you want the inscription to say?"

"Great, got it! You can pick up your Wreck-Creation tomorrow at 1. See you then!"

Anna E. & JR, excellent Wreckporting.

- Related Wreckage: The Problem With Phone Orders

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Reader Comments (95)

well...,on to another bakery.Could I just have a plain cookie?

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNanny

Is there an area of the country that has more wreckers or is a nation wide epidemic?

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

At least the script and balloons are pretty in the second one...

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJanelle

I really worry about people sometimes. This didn't help.

Hahaaaa. . .that's upsetting.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSamantha

Is that first clever inscription written on a lasagna noodle?

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTheQueen@TerrorsInTiaras

What IS that thing on the first cake? A lasagne noodle???
NOW I know what to grab when I'm searching frantically for something to write on when I'm taking a phone message!
And, come ON--please tell us what's under that censoring slab!
Dirty minds want to know!

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Wow. These are awful. Aw-ful.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNatalie

Did they bake their brains into those cakes or what?

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

I'd love to hear the excuses that came with these wrecks.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

Whoa, I think that second Wreckerator knew exactly what he/she was doing, with the literal expletive and all...

Still a wreck though.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMira8

I SO hope that those two wrecks are in the book. Their perfection is astounding.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

Oh, I just love that bottom one!

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren B.

Even if someone wanted fruit on the top, is what they put on there, remotely right? What is with the fruit in the brown husk? The rest look like melon balls - really? That thing is just a mess.

As to the 2nd one, they definitely got something funny!

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMeagan

You know, given the instructions for the second cake, I'd have done the same thing.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterschism

I love the first one. If the lasagne noodle is removed, its very pretty!

these literal ones are my favorites, even though my hope for humanity dies a little more each time.


August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

So...on the "fruit cake", why did they add crayons [I know, they're not crayons but they look like it!]

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

These are my favorite kinds of wrecks. Anyone can make a lousy balloon - I know, I've seen them! - but it takes some special zen to write what you see without overthinking it. Thinking "They want it to say WHAT!?" never crosses their empty little minds. I admire that.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

I don't dare say, "Now I've seen it all," because I know that come Monday I'd have to take it back.
That first cake looks a little odd just by itself, but the inscription makes it downright hilarious. As for the second one, what on earth was that Wreckerator thinking? Were they really that dense or was this a lame attempt at something witty? At least the balloons turned out nice for a change... *remembers wrecked balloons from previous posts and shudders*

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Teh stupid-it burns!!!!

Who hires these people???

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca Welch

I like the second one. They got *exactly* what they were asking for! Hilarious.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

I don't think these were mistakes or accidents. I think they were passive aggression.

Or possibly the wreckerators got slammed with a ton of orders and after doing hundreds of orders for hours on end just stopped reading what they were doing and started copying whatever they were given without thought.

But personally, I'm going to go with passive-aggressive.

And the "lasagna noodle" looks like a slab of white chocolate.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What?! They followed the direktions!

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSue

I love the 2nd one! It screams touché! lol

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWide Awake Wife

did anyone else notice the crayon butts sticking out of the first cake?

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Re: #2

I sincerely doubt someone told the decorator to be funny. Who asks their bakery to come up with comedy for them, sight unseen. This was obviously intentional.

Co-worker #1: "What should we put on your birthday cookie?"

Co-worker #2: "I don't give a s--t. Something funny."

Co-worker #1, being funny, tells the bakery to write exactly that.

Overall, it's funny. Not a wreck.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermmorowitz

I could see myself VERY tempted to do what the second one did if I worked in a bakery... I would find it very annoying to come up with things for other people's cakes/cookies, etc.
That said I would never do it - I don't have the guts.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCrystalsCozyKitchen

Sometimes I wonder if supermarkets/chain bakeries just hand over the writing tasks to someone who doesn't speak/read English very well, but has (comparatively) better handwriting than the rest of the staff. I mean, all they have to do is write whatever is in the box, so it's not *usually* necessary to actually understand what the words mean.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

I don't think the second one is a wreck. I think it's brilliant. If someone was rude enough to give those instructions, then that's exactly what they deserved. Besides, it *is* funny.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMif

sendingtheclowns, if you click on the cookie wreck and look closely, it's pretty easy to tell which word it is that they blocked out. Rhymes with truck.

And I agree, I think the cookie wreckerator knew exactly what she was doing, love it!

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBecca

I want the fruit underneat that.

~Amy B.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Somebody needs to listen to some George Carlin. It is the internet after all.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter:-(

bwaahahahaaaa! that last one is incredibly hilarious, props to the wreckerator cuz he/she got it right!

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

The huge number of cake wrecks you manage to find never ceases to amaze me! It is really hard to believe that there are that many "non-thinking" people in this world...and these are only the ones in the bakeries and cake shops. Just think how many other kinds of wrecks there are out there. On second thought, I don't want to know!!!

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGraceful Moments

I have to agree with other posters that the second wreck was exactly what the person ordering it deserved. Who talks to strangers like that? Yeesh.

wv: patenton. There's no patenton good manners, anyone can use them.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKore

BWHAHAHAHA! The second one is brilliant (passive-aggressive, but brilliant!) Thanks for the coffee spray, Jen!

WV-amoseup- "When I sees me a filly in the honky-tonk bar, amoseup on her and offer to buy her a drink."

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfrigglesnitz

the "fruit with a brown husk" in the first picture is a ground cherry. i've never seen one on a cake before!

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterhillary

Hmmm the literal minded can be a lot of trouble in the cake department.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaddy

Meagan asked about the yelllow fruit in the brown husk on the first cake. They are called "Goldenberries" and are native to South America. Rather hard to find in the States, though, but you can locate them in places such as Wholefoods. They resemble yellow grape tomatoes, but have a sweeter taste. You can eat them out of hand or put them in salads.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

I'm in the "second cake is purposefully passive-aggressive but hilarious" camp.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCyndi

Ok, first off, if someone wants fruit on the cake, isn't it usually peeled and sliced? It looks like the wreckerator just put a whole apple, orange, lime on there.
"It's not like the specified HOW the fruit was supposed to be on the cake, jeeze! What am I a mind reader?"
And the lasanga noodle, touche!

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

@ Becka:

Ahhh, so it is! The beginning of a *fancy* "F" and the swooping tail end of a "k."
But, huh? "Fork" doesn't rhyme with "truck." You *must* be wrong.
@ Sarah:
"...all they have to do is write whatever is in the box, so it's not *usually* necessary to actually understand what the words mean."

I might agree on some (where over the rainbow) level...
But there is no way people should have to pay good money for something that is all ****ed up.
If the employees can't "speak/read English very well" then the stores should (novel idea) hire people who CAN.
So much to ask?

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

hahahahahahaha that cookie is fabulous. Not for the customer, but for the rest of us :)

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJules

That last cake wins. I want that for my birthday. :D

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAllTimeLow = LOVE.

When looking at these, and others like them that say exactly what was written in the "inscription" section of the order form, I wonder if the decorator doesn't speak English, and was just following orders, trying to do a good job. Like the picture on the Cake Wrecks home page that says "Under Neat That." Why would someone write that if they knew what the words they were writing meant? I think in many of these instances, they are just doing what they are told.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

i wonder what kind of fruit is under the lasagna noodle.

it's all slimy and green, sculpted into a near-perfect sphere...*shudder*

is it even fuit? because it sort of looks like a giant snot ball.

i can only imagine what the orange stuff is.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPancake

Huh. I always thought wrecks like #2 had to do with hiring people who don't speak English very well. Or at all.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSharon M

Those are reminiscent of the Wreck that started it all! Ahhh, good times, good times.

And honestly, I think they captured the "something funny" on number 2....lmao!

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDea

I actually think the second cake's quite witty. It IS funny - they got what they asked for.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

that just made my day!

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLucia

But it's the love you put in that counts not the outcome of the cake itself right? D:

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrigitte Dionne

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