My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Wreck Creators

"Hi, Mr. Smith? This is Wreck-Creation Bakery calling to confirm your order. Would you mind telling me the kind of cake you wanted again?"

[writing] "...'in middle'. Ok, great. And what did you want the inscription to say?"

"Great, got it! You can pick up your Wreck-Creation tomorrow at 1. See you then!"

Anna E. & JR, excellent Wreckporting.

- Related Wreckage: The Problem With Phone Orders

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Reader Comments (95)

These are my favorite kinds of wrecks

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHosander

I like how 'lots of fruit' means 'melon balls, physalis and chocolate straws'. =D

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The second one totally deserved what they got. We should expect decorators to have nice, legible writing and to execute our ideas as nicely as they can. There isn't any way for a decorator to know what the customer will find funny, especially with such a bad attitude in making their request.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVellum

well, the first one is from a chinese supermarket bakery we have in canada..and i have a feeling the reason the cake has fruit and such on top is because for the most part all their cakes look like that..hahaha. in general, fruit is a standard on asian cakes. but the little tag is just too funny !

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenternozomi

LMAO. That was hysterical. I love it.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAshley

Hahaha I love the second one! That's what you get for being a potty mouth; the hilarious cookie you wanted!

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

Anonymous said...
"I love the first one. If the lasagne noodle is removed, its very pretty!"

Its WHAT is very pretty?
heh heh...
MOST of us, I hazard to assume--do not have X-ray vision.
I only have the ability to cast my own personal gaze across what looks like brittle, dead leaves (mmm, crunchy), slimy peach and pear chunks, and maybe a black olive.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Do the cake makers verify what is supposed to written? Cause I'm starting to think this is more the buyers fault...

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterG.H.

That is too funny...especially the first one! Only now you have me worried about the cake I ordered for my boyfriend's birthday tomorrow. *fingers crossed*

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Five minutes later and I am still laughing at the second cake. It's like some kind of a prank that a baker would pull on one of their regular customers or their friends because they know the customer would take it in very good humor.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Black Dog

I bet the second wreck creator was thinking: (chuckling to self) "You want it?...You got it."

Oh Lord, that top one looks worse and worse the longer I stare at it!

Several people have already offered their interpretations of what the glistening yellow ball surrounded by the dried-up brown stuff is. To me, it looks like an egg yolk nestled in a cast-off snakeskin. In a word, YUCKERS!

Flat Top, eh? Maybe the villainous Flattop had the cake specially made for Dick Tracy. If the sight of it doesn't do the detective in, the "fruit in the middle" (a ticking pineapple, no doubt) certainly will.

"Eat THIS, copper! I dare ya!"

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDelibird

What kind of "fruit" is on that cake?? It looks like some dead birds!

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

I want that cookie. I know EXACTLY who I want to give it to. Bwhahahahahahaha!

And some people call ME a literalist ...

Word verification: orphed. When someone morphs into an orphan.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterScritzy

Ahaha! That cookie is epic win! :D

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterksaldria

um, for those of you who asked: the fruit in the papery husk is a cape gooseberry. yummy, but NOT what you'd expect or want on top of a frosted cake.

how /where did anyone find this fruit anyway? they're very hard to find outside the tropics...

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVB


For your upcoming tour, Petaluma isn't really San Francisco: it's about 35 miles away. You should probably say "San Francisco Bay Area" or "Marin County" to avoid confusing people.

Also, if you want a bakery tour of the city of SF itself (and have time), we could give you one.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjosh

I wonder if the baker was being a smartass with the cookie. I mean if I was taking an order and someone told me "I don't give a sh!t" when I asked them what they wanted, I'd be slightly taken aback.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMoop

Once again, "Cake Wrecks" proves my best forward of the day.


August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAllyson

Ahhh! So that's what CW Bakery stands for! I wondered every time I drove by..

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRose

Wow. Just wow.

My fiance: "Well they got what they ordered, didn't they? I don't see a way you could logically prove that the cake shop didn't give them exactly what they asked for. Provided your baker is an android with a poorly-programmed AI."

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenna

the "lasagne noodle" is a marzipan plaque. i used to work at a pretty upscale dessert place that never wrote on cakes directly, but instead used the plaques...and the funny thing is, they are usually prepared ahead of time, and separately from the cake. meaning that someone probably made it as part of that day's prep, and then someone ELSE put it on the cake when they boxed it up. a two-step wreck.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteraly

These are my favorite kinds of wrecks. Endlessly amusing.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterblueiguana

that's a pretty funny literal LOL cookie.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbodoba

What kind of fruit is that? Weird!

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNintendo Jerk

That second cake just made my night.

August 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErin

Hey, just wanted to say that the 1st one is my cake. It's from T&T Supermarket in Metrotown, and yup, I should have realized that this mistake would happen.

It was WAY too funny to exchange.

I don't want to be too much of a sourpuss, but the quality of their cakes has dropped a little. They've been skimping on the "inner" whip cream. I was hoping for lots of glazed strawberries on top.

But it was extremely edible nonetheless, so happy happy joy joy. hehehe

August 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMewfymewf

Wow, who uses profanity while ordering a cake?? It's usually a happy, festive occasion.

August 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OMG I can't believe it!!

August 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterIndy

OK - that cookie cake is about the funniest yet. I would LOVE to know if that was a true mistake, or a purposful wreck.

I have the feeling more and more of your fans are having wrecks created. Just think, you and your wreckporters are slowly, but surely, blowing the minds of decorators everywhere.

I can just imagine some of the odd phone calls they must get. There is some beautiful poetic justice in that...

August 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNearlydawn

I agree...I think the cookie wreckorater knew EXACTLY what he or she was doing. i'd do the same thing if some douche said that to me ont he phone!

August 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlotsamamma

Can I just say that the first one with the fruit is nearly as hilarious as the underneat cake. Amazingly funny!

August 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSam J

I don't think people who have English-as-a-second-language should be blamed for #2. It's not up to the bakery (or decorator) to decide on an inscription. If you're too lazy to be bothered with saying *exactly* what you want written, deserve what you get. "Something funny"? Is it a going away, a birthday, a congratulations, what?

August 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterholly

I never took an inscription order *exactly* like number two...but there were times I WAS tempted to write "I don't know, whatever you want" on some poor person's birthday cake because the person ordering it couldn't be arsed to think of even the most basic sentiment. Of course, management had no spine, so it would have just been a waste of a cake.

August 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterseryan

I don't blame the cookie decorator, if this is what the client said, then they were a nasty piece of work and get what they deserve.

August 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRhiannon

That's a total shame, since both cake and cookie are well done!

I just don't get it...maybe wreckorators are told "don't question it...people want some weird things on cakes so chances are you're all right." THAT would be the only valid excuse I can think of.

August 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

I think number 2 accomplished what it was supposed to. hehe

August 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiss B

These are priceless! I just can't believe that whoever is making these never questioned it.

August 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPam Walter

Loved both of these! Keep the literal wrecks coming! (Oh and a small thank you for the sensoring, we need more family friendly web-content)

October 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVeggieT

Well, they did get something funny.

October 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDavid B

Really? Ya'all are critiquing cakes, and you don't know what MARZIPAN is?

That is not lasagna. It's marzipan, which is an edible almond paste used in cake decorations.

June 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Anon @ 4:12,

Yup. Probably marzipan. Of course, we never said it wasn't.


:O sweet!

June 18, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjustin

Well he wanted something funny

March 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I too wonder if the cookie was intentional. I don't see it being too outlandish to think that someone would ask for something funny at the decorator's discretion though. But that one just screams "Oh yeah? You want funny? How's this for ya?"

September 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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