Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Sep162009

Creepy Crawly Cakes

Can't we just have normal frosting roses, sprinkles, maybe a spermy-looking bunch of balloons? Even a beanbag-body clown would be ok. I mean, I try to avoid even being in the same room with yukky-looking creatures...do I really have to take a bite out of one with a side of Ben and Jerry's?


This is a Naked Mole Rat. Cousin to the rare Old Navy Sweater-Wearing Mole Rat. This cutie is interesting because he lacks the ability to feel pain.

Yeeeah. I kinda wish I had that trait right about now.


Maybe if we hadn't stored this confection in a grimy cabinet and put a ravioli under the sheets, we could have avoided this infestation, hmm?

And speaking of infestations...


Do you think if you made a cake like this out of Twinkies, it'd be twice as likely to survive a nuclear holocaust? Just wondering.

Hey, ever wonder what you'd get if you crossed a naked mole rat with a roach?

Yeah, me neither.

Still, I bet it'd look something like this:


Kathy, Rebecca A., Lisal F., & Jessica D., these cakes aren't bugging you, are they?

UPDATE: A big thanks to Cristy B., creator of the Naked Mole Rat cake, for being such a good sport and submitting her own cake!

- Related Wreckage: I'm Guessing They Didn't Have a Matching Card

« Not-So-Passive Aggressive Cakes | Main | "World" Tour Final Countdown »

Reader Comments (219)

SCREEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!

Hideous! Horrid! Inedible! O vile!

*hides under desk* Dial my therapist and hand me the phone, wouldja, hon?

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

Eew! That one bed bug is bigger than the pillow! I really don't want that bed bug to bite!

www.mysleepinghusband.com

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWide Awake Wife

Even my 8-year-old son, a self-avowed "bug lover" said, "Ewwwww! Who would eat that?"

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVickie

Oh, Holy.... I had a huge roach in my kitchen this morning, so the bug cakes are making me more squeamish than they normally would... Soooo icky!!!

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Gluah!!!! I got shivers up my spine just looking at those!

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm pretty sure I can feel them wiggling in my mouth as I type this. *Gag*

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

Ugh! I just want to squash all of them.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSuetois

Ew. Sick.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

I had a dream last night that my house was infested with worms and cockroaches.

There was a brown recluse spider in the shower this morning.

And now these.

I think the universe is trying to tell me something, but I'm not entirely sure what. "Buy stock in insecticide"? "The end of the world is near"? "Stop reading horror novels before bed"?

All good possibilities.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdiopsideanddiamonds

Uh...I'm at a total loss for words. Who in their right mind would order a cake like that? It's bad enough we have to share the world with cockroaches, do we really need cakes in their honor?

I think I'll go not eat ever again now.

-NWA

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNovice Writer Anonymous

That "naked mole rat" TOTALLY looks like one of the R.O.U.S.'s from "The Princess Bride"!

And what's with the fangs coming out of the nose? That's gotta make eating a little difficult!

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

except for the ravioli, i'm kinda impressed by the bedbug cake. same with the roach- especially becuase he looks to be fondant free! i think those are a couple more cases of the subject matter being a wreck, but not the cakes per se. on the other hand, i thought the mole rat was the Montauk Monster.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaria

Best line of the day: Do you think if you made a cake like this out of Twinkies, it'd be twice as likely to survive a nuclear holocaust? Just wondering.

Love it.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

*Takes one look at the first cake*

.....

.....

.....

I'm not eating that. And the next ones don't get better.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBilby P. Dalgyte

Totally disgusting. I don't think I could eat any of those cakes, especially the roach one!

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMary

Why does the naked mole rat have teeth growing out of its nostrils? O.o

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEvalis

The first one! An R.O.U.S.! Must be for a party in the Fireswamp.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor (My Older Brothers)

thanks for helping me along with the ol' diet! I will never eat again!

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKarey

I had to have a mouse removed from my cupboard last night, and another one this morning. (In a trap, husband removes.) So this cake really did not do it for me this morning. WHY!? WOULD ANYONE WANT A CAKE THAT LOOKS LIKE THAT?! And, YES, I am yelling! Oddly enough, the cake decorators did an awesome job recreating, but again I ask you WHY?!

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHyacinth B

I will be happy to go the rest of my life without ever viewing another cake like these.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Why are the naked mole rat's teeth coming out of its nose as opposed to, oh I don't know, it's mouth?

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlphaGlam03

This post is right up there with the gross podiatrist foot cakes for hurl-factor. REALLY needed a warning label.... "if you've already eaten breakfast or have a weak gag reflex, please skip this post" YUCK-O!

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Lili Effect

...Are that mole rat's teeth coming out of its NOSE? That must be painful.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKeylaleigh

I know that a mole rat has little tusk looking teeth, but they don't come right out of the nose...

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow! Now I don't even need to eat today!

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlicia

Oh my eyes, my eyes! I've often chuckled reading this blog at work, but this is the first time I can remember being genuinely gobsmacked. Crikey.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNicho

Oh for the love of all that is cakey!! WHY?!?!

Oh...and a big eww, too.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPersnickety Ticker

Why does that naked mole rat have teeth coming out of his nose?

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpeaches1111_00

Yikes. And why are the Naked Mole Rat's teeth coming out of its nose?

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNydia

Now that I have screamed and tried not to barf, WHY would anyone order a cake that looks like a rodent or an insect?? EEWWW!!!

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth @ TexasEbeth

Why God, WHY??? Why would anyone in there right mind want a naked mole-rat cake? That has got to be the grossest creature-as-a-cake I've ever seen. Ewwww.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLindsey

Those are all completely REVOLTING!!!

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Why? Whyyyyyyyy?

On the plus side, this might be the best diet aid ever.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterajnabi

Naked mole rat??? I thought it was an ROUS - Rodent of Unusual Size.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCatBoreal

Disgusting, true... but well made in each case! LOL I just can't see the demand for such things!

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSheri

Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh, I'm terrified!!

April

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Momma

yikes! I cried out in horror when that thing jut appeared on my screen! That has GOT to be THE UGLIEST cake I've ever seen.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPaula

gross. just totally gross.

are those little hairs on the back of that mole rat?!?! disgusting.

the wreckiness of these "cakes" never cease to amaze me.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTerry Lee

oh, gosh, i'm glad I ate like an hour ago. Dis-gusting!

Did anyone notice that Naked Mole Rat had "Happy 9th" inscribed on the cardboard? 9th???? You got that for a 9-year old? I'm gonna guess it was for a really nerdy (in a good way) scientifically-inclined 9 year old.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

What is the second one, congratulations on having giant bedbugs?

My verification word is 'reche.' I don't even need to add a sentence, do I? :)

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNYCGirl

Is it bad that my only question is: why are the teeth coming out of the naked mole rat's nose?
I couldn't/wouldn't eat any of them, but I can totally see our zoo making the NMR cake a couple years ago when they unveiled that exhibit in our children's zoo, or the third cake when unveiling the insectarium.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura Dotson-Thomson

I bet these cakes were made for biologists who study these organisms. I mean, once you've done THAT MANY dissections, what is there left to gross you out? (I'm not speaking from experience... no...)

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah F.

Nooooooooooooooo!

Word Verification: ballsit (How my Vietnamese nail tech tells me I'm full of BS)

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlix

The first one really gives me a craving for some Quiznos Subs for some reason....

WE LOVE THE SUUUUUUBS!

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBobman

Gross and scary! Do mole rats really have teeth coming out of their nostrils?

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterOur Family

Ewwwww.... just gross. I don't like looking at these things in real life, why would anyone want them in cake form?

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfaradayflux

WHY?

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRoo

I don't think I've ever literally gagged at any of your wrecks before today... Gosh Jen, you rock! (gag!)

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTauna

The roach cake and the image of the Twinkies with that icing oozing out made me want to vomit a little.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJustina Clayburn

Many times I've looked at cakes in this blog and laughed. Other times, I've looked and thought "that's disgusting." I have never, however, before today, actually shuddered involuntarily.

The Naked Mole Rat is probably based off a song of the same title that's a Disney favorite, so I can understand why someone thought this might be a good idea. It wasn't. How could you eat that?!?

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi Zikmund-Fisher

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>