Since the book tour is only three weeks away, John has started a new diet. I was going to join him, but then I had the following revelations:
1) At its core, humor is about being honest.
2) You guys probably expect me to be both funny and honest in person.
3) Losing weight would make me someone I'm not (ie a person who loses weight), and therefore is intrinsically DIShonest.
4) Oooh, cupcakes!
Anyhoo, so while I'm not on a diet myself, I still want to support John any way I can. Some people might try cooking him a healthy meal, or inviting him for walks. Me? I find gross cakes to help kill his appetite.
And speaking of low-carb diets, I hear you also see a lot of these when you're on them:
Or is that only if you cheat and eat a bunch of raisins? Hm...
[swinging pocket watch] "You are feeling sleepy. Veerrry sleepy. Now, you will never crave skinned leopard - or cake - ever agaiiin."
- Related Wreckage: Better Dieting Through Cake