My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Today's "Feature"

Lookie what I found when John and I actually left the house last weekend:

Orcward Pie!

Yep, I figure it's fine in small doses, but you really shouldn't make it a "hobbit."


(Yes, I *am* still taking Saturdays off - sort of. This is just something from my Twitter feed I thought you might "enjoy." So no griping about it not being a cake, hear?)

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Reader Comments (51)

We love you for putting it up!
That would be very "elvish" of us to complain.

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

I like that it's also a "feature." Thanks for posting!

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

Ha! Before I read your caption, the first thing that came to mind was "who the heck would want to eat an orc?!" I guess great geeky minds think alike... ;)

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm confused - doesn't it say "Orchard"? Were there Orchards in LOTR? Do I need to go back to bed for another 8 hours?

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMira

Hmm, shouldn't that be "Entward Pie"? (I'm assuming it's made of tree fruits.)

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Love LOTR pie!

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHope

Clearly, pies can be wrecked, too. Thanks for putting it up, even on a Saturday! Now go take the rest of the day off.

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDeirdre

Hey this isn't a cake! - Sorry I couldn't resist. =)

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

wow---my husband actually prefers pie to cake, so I stick a candle in his Birthday apple pie. But, let us consider the logic of eating the fruit from living trees---wouldn't that be like eating their children? I know, no worse than eating eggs from chickens...

and then there are the cakes that call themselves pies, like Boston Cream pie...looks like a cake, in my opinion. Hope I have not opened a can of worms...

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjoyce

I don't know what I enjoy most - the "Cakes" or the hilarious puns... Jen you are the master (mistress?) of punning!

Now - go enjoy your Saturday!

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

Just wondering ~ is it a habit for a Hobbit to have orcward pie with a gimli to wash it down?

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCher' Shots

Um, of course there are orchards in LOTR! Like, not featured, but I'm sure they're there, somewhere.

Also, when I pronouce Orcward, I keep saying "awkward". Its the Awkward Pie! Not sure why, it looks relatively normal.

Also, even if it was an orchard pie... I'd still be wondering what the heck was in it.

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDawn

I second Wendy's comment -- I too don't know what's more entertaining, the wrecks or Jen's puns. Too much awesome.

That said, I actually know someone who writes their 'H's like that. Needless to say, copious confusion is had by all on a regular basis.

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Maybe I was just in major need of a laugh, but your commentary on that one caused me to belly laugh for several minutes straight. Thank you. :)

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary

I'm so excited for pie. I keep forgetting you are taking Saturdays off and so I visit anyway. So far I have not been disappointed. Last week I just reread the Friday post (one of the best ever)and now this week you're giving us pie. You're great even on your days off.

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

Thanks for the saturday goodie! It was a nice treat...let's just say, good timing. Even if it's not a cake and I have no clue what the pun is all about, it's just SO ENCOURAGING that you posted on a satruday, kind of like the little toy in the cereal box. Weird, or what? :) Thanks!

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I read it as orchard. Am I a bad LOTR fan then?

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

Orc pie. Ewwwwww!

Now go take the day off!

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Wow. Did they mean Orchard or Awkward?

Yes, there probably were orchards in LotR, but why not just say fruit pie?

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSteph

I, too, see the "orch" but then that leaves us with Orch Lard pie. orchlard! Quaint.


January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGail

And if Saruman saw that posting, it would be "orcward!"

Ba-dum-ching! Thank you and good night! :)

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercarmiehead

Just got through reading "DM of the Rings" (

So painful, all that Coke and/or rootbeer as I was reading. Some Orkward pie would be perfect right now.

WV: resstru -- must run to it right now and get a towel to wipe off the computer screen.

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

I am so much of a D&D geek that I am truely confused how we can be this far into the comments without someone making a reference to:" rel="nofollow">The Orc and the Pie.

I mean, its a classic.

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBill

It also kind of looks like it says "Orchlard" pie. Ugh, that's even less appetizing.

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelsie

Sorry, but it did look like ORCHARD to me.
But what is an Orchard pie. Ive never heard of that before.

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary T

Whether you read it as Orcward (FUN!) or are generous and give them the Orchard, I love how it's a "feature".

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Perhaps I should start up a Pie Wrecks blog. Don't want to exclude the anti-cake folks out there. You just know that it's those people behind the majority of these cake wrecks.

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPsychoDuck

When I saw the pie, I thought, "That must be Perkins!" They have an "Orchard" pie (and yes, I read it as "orchard" and was confused by the LOTR comments for a moment) which is apple and peach and some other orchard fruits all baked together into pie goodness.

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMur

Nasty. Makes you wonder if Orcs are the bakers or an ingredient. Is this a Middle Earth variation on Shepherd's Pie? Hmmm...

So many dorktastic things to think about on a Saturday.

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNatalie

Hey Jen & psychoduck (LOVE the name btw:) I'd be up for seeing a pie wreck blog or even some pie wrecks featured from time to time. IMHO pies are SO much harder to make and easier to screw up and there are definitely some decorating no nos when it comes to pie, decorative crusts, horrible attempts at the whoopie pie, pies with funky flavors, pies you can't unsee, pies masquerading as cakes (like the elusive boston cream some else mentioned) the colossal mispelling of rhubarb, Thanksgiving alone could provide a smorgasbord of craptastic looking pies with "artistic" flair! Think of the possibilities:-D

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCulinarychiq

I shall NEVER try to make a small h a big H by adding that other leg EVER again. LOL

hahaha! this happened to me too! quite a while ago i decided not to blog on wednesdays and then funny stuff started happening to me on wednesdays, so i HAD to post it . . . it's a sickness :)

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJewelielyn

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January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

It's like awkward, but from a tree.

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterfeathergirl

OK you made me laugh outloud LOL LOL

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterReddunappy

as an avid Lord of the Rings fan, this is absolutely hilarious! thanks for the Saturday laugh!!

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaura P.

They doesn't taste very nice, does they, Precious?

Not very nice at all, my love.


January 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdesibarbossa

Jen, I heard you on the Splendid Table on NPR today. Great job. Hope all the foodies buy your book!

By the way, I don't want to eat ANYTHING orc ward. Ever. But I want to know, when you cut the pie open, is it black inside?

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnn

If you're going to count CCCs as "Cakes", you might as well include pies.

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDamon

I guess I don't get what's so funny. Yeah, the word 'orchard' has the syllable 'orc' which can refer to LoTR, but it mainly just looks like


January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

"orcses pie don't taste very good do they precious?" -gollum1

"no, they don't" -gollum2

just, b/c it's the most hilarious lotr spoof ever

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

That looks like orchard to me. The H is just capital.

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkbiller07

I actually royally messed up a pie some time ago. I was making a lattice-top cherry pie using frozen cherries and I didn't let them thaw enough. I was trying to get them to thicken, losing patience, and went, "Grrr!" and shook a bunch of my tapioca thickener in. It started setting up, I topped it with a lattice, and threw it in the oven.

It was the most gorgeous pie you have ever seen. Perfectly golden brown all over and it didn't bubble up at all (first clue). However, when I cut into it the slices came out like a pumpkin pie: perfectly straight up and down. No gooey cherries here! It tasted fine, but was like chewing old Knox gelatin. We still laugh about that pie...

January 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVanessa

It says 'orchard'. You can tell it is an 'H' and not a 'W'. Someone just has an interesting handwriting. But I can tell it says orchard.

January 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSixxlet

Also, that pie looks pretty darn good!

January 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSixxlet

Well, bakeries seem to be producing a cake for every conceivable occasion nowadays, and this is obviously a pie for those "orkward" moments :-D

January 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercolleenoz

Naysayers be darned, it looks like 'orcward' to me!

Nothing says 'celebrate!' like tortured elf meat.

January 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAurora

Hey, most of us do get that feed you're looking at, so you can just relax completely on Saturdays, all right? Today, at the Prancing Skiltaire party house, after seeing the Super Mario Brothers wedding cakes, one guy showed this amazing custom level in Super Mario World, called Perpetual Mario:

I'll bet they even played that at the gamer weddings.

January 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterwackplayer

Orcward pie? Is it the same as shephard's pie? Considering what orcs eat, I don't think I'll have my slice, thank you.

January 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commentershikishinobi

LOL John,

Seems obvious Mr. or Mrs. Orcward didn't pass penmanship in school;)

January 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCulinarychiq

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