My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

New Year's Diet Aid

Did you know that 89.3% of New Year's resolution diets FAIL in just 3 weeks?


Well, that's probably because I made that stat up. (FACT: 63.4% of statistics are made up on the spot.)

I'm pretty sure most diets do fail, though, on account of their requiring you to eat significantly smaller portions of cake - and, let's face it, that's a trade-off no one wants to make.

Still, for you foolhardy few trudging on in blatant defiance of Mother Nature, your genetics, and the Baskin Robbins large chocolate Oreo shake, here are some motivational visuals sure to make you lose your appetite, if not that spare tire.

Imagine semi-congealed cement. With a chaser of pond scum. And a dead, flattened snake.

Now, imagine washing that all down with a niiice, cold glass of milk.

Feeling motivated yet?

I bet this cake would taste really wet. And Reddi-Whip-ee. flowery.

This next one has a dual purpose: it will make you want to avoid cake and a career in proctology.

I have no words. And, frankly, the only thing that could follow this up would be...well, this:

(C'mon, bakers, really? Chocolate poo swirled icing AND strawberry syrup? Really?)

I feel I should warn you: this next cake will guarantee you'll never, EVER, want sprinkles again.

Well, at least not chocolate sprinkles. Yech.

And if you're still not convinced:

This is one hairy situation, guys. A very public, hairy situation. Not good.

Sometimes you don't need icing or sprinkles to Wreck a cake, though. Sometimes, all you need is a can of fruit filling.

I am never eating blueberries again.

Hannah C., Ellysa C., Cynthia M., Johanna., Julie & Chris B., Jessica G., & Julia S., with cakes like these, who needs Weight Watchers?

- Related Wreckage: I Think I'll Have the Salad Today

RSS Feed Update: Due to excessive internet thievery (boo, spam blogs!) I've finally had to pull the plug on our full RSS feed. We're still tinkering and experimenting with options, though, so please bear with us!

« Isn't It Ironic? Don't Ya Think? | Main | I Eat Terror For Breakfast »

Reader Comments (228)

Does that backside-hillside actually have "stickers" on the cake???? Really, people, really??

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNichols

LOL @ Kelly and Tigerwolf

Meanwhile, I just double-clicked on the bundt, err, butt cake.

That IS a doctor about to take the plunge! looks like he's wearing a face mask and hair cap and possibly a stethoscope! I mean, it's "doctor blue," too, after all.

gross. tramp stamp stickers! ick

wv: messi--these cakes are very messi

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Would someone kindly tell me what the red-covered poo is actually supposed to be?

No? You don't know, either?

Oh, well, then... glad I started my diet today!

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda Mac

You really should have put a note at the top discouraging viewers who are facing morning sickness. I'm about to lose it!

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Pretty sure that's an Indiana Jones action figure (my son has this one) with a Breast Cancer Awareness flag taped to his sword standing on the ass. I have no words.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. Flax

For some reason, this is like the fourth time in two days that I've seen that stupid "xx% of statistics are made up" joke.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow- some of these are simple... no, ALL of these cakes are simply gross! They are NOT funny, they would appeal to only extremely weird people and turn the rest of the guest's stomachs over! Seriously, who would order that and who would make that for someone? In good faith knowing my name goes out the door with that cake- I would never let a cake like those leave my bakery!

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSue

I LOVE the mouse poo cake! lol

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTainda

You never fail to make me hurl. The cakes, I mean.
I'll never have cake again.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

Glad I came here on an empty stomach. Gaaaaaaa!

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJelliDonut

Seriously BLEUAGHHHHHCH. The poo and the barfy blueberries were the worst.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterf_h_stephens

that first cake is surely the gone off aftermath of a botched autopsy

- makes the poo and public hair cakes look almost edible

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

So. Glad. I. Skipped. Breakfast. Nuf. Said.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"A very public, hairy situation."

You, Ma'm, are EVIL. Pure EVIL. It's just EVIL to mess with our pristine little minds like that. EVIL, I tell you.

P.S. Do you give lessons?

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

I am betting some of these cakes were made by decorators who were told "You're finish up what you're doing, hand in your apron and get out!" And they thought "Oh I'll finish decorating alright...." Gotta be.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKristers

Many of your diet cakes have grossed me out, but I think this is the first post that actually made me queasy. Awesome.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

I always tell my grandfather that 89% of statistics are made up on the spot. And so my train of thought has just allowed me to reframe the three dead mice I found in his garage last week (*shudder*) as 'the Chad Incident.'

So thanks, CW, you've helped me overcome a trauma today, believe it or not.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Only the header shows up in my Google Reader feed for this post, btw. Normally the whole post will show.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJess

oh my goodness those are gross.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErin

Todd Snyder fan, eh?

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRobyn

Chad is the name of a boy I didn't get along with in school at all, so from now on I'll picture sending him this cake and smile...

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Remind me to never, ever read this blog on my lunch break again. Not good...notttt goooooood.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlisa

Seriously? SERIOUSLY? I didn't make any New Year's resolutions, and I'm not trying to lose weight (I need to, desperately), but I may not eat for a week now.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFlea

I thought I had a fairly strong stomach when it comes to cake (yum!) but the hairy one and that last frogspawn affair have finally made me queasy.....they just beg the question WHY?

WV:Spidson - who spidson dese cakes?

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

Ugh, the blueberries look like frog eggs! Also, with the hairy cake, it reminded me of a situation in high school where I was reading about pubic hair and misread it "public hair." Conversely, I misread "public" in the hairy cake description.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercadylee

New Year's Diet Aid: 60% of the time it works every time.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

I honestly guffawed then stopped, guffawed then stopped between a couple of the cakes. Hilarious and horrifying as I scrolled down. Wow. Just wow.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterduffylou

The blueberry cake is the MOST HORRIFYING CAKE I've ever seen on this blog. Seriously. I keep choking back the bile thinking about it. UGGGGHHH!

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterYogaGal in the NW

Ugh. I have the flu today... I'm really, really glad I hadn't attempted to eat before I came here!

WHAT is that red swirl supposed to be on the snake cake? Is it... is it... the result of flattening the snake?

I'm going back to bed.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDharmamama

I can't make up my mind which one is most disgusting!

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlbatross

Why, oh why, is the "dirty bottom" cake surrounded by a string of pearls??

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJacobi

Did you intentionally make it impossible to read your posts via rss reader? All your feed shows is post titles now and no posts. I hope not because you'll lose this reader if so. And likely many others. :(

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

all I can think of upon viewing CW3 is: "I climbed your ass." What's weirder is that the "climber" has a flag with one of those charity ribbons on it...that seems to be... black?

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

Ok srsly, I may bookmark this and look at it when I get late night munchies. That 2nd one looked like it was iced with boogers OH god I'm going to hurl...

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMira

My two year old looking at this with me said "yuck" and "blah" at every cake--even little ones understand the yuckyness of this post!!

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLucky Larson's

Today's entries were particularly gross!! Keep them coming! I'll visit the site whenever I have a sweets craving. This stuff will curb it for sure.

I shake my head incredulous at some of them...

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe pale observer

Okay, the bloody poo cake is disgusting.

And I too, thought you left the "l" out of "public"..

Amy B-H

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

That *moist* 2nd cake really did me in O_o. GAH! It reminds me of Peter Pan where Cap'n Hook is trying to poison the lost boys by leaving a cake out in the rain...


January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca Knight

Those are some of the most disgusting creations I have ever seen. And I saw it right before lunch. GAck! Diet started.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

Wow thanks for nothing, I love cake but these make me not want any for a while!!

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNona

That was bad. Like really, really bad.

wv: harbers. I now harbers bad feelings toward slimey, spinach-y, butt-cakes.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStacie


I mean...


I think I need therapy now.

Yep. I am seriously disturbed by those images.


January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Speaking (overandoverandover) of "poo," I need to ask: Has anyone here NOT seen at least one of the hundreds of renditions of a "LITTER BOX CAKE"?
If not, Google it, then buckle up and hold onto your gag reflex, because they are unbelievable. I can't even begin to scratch the surface of trying to describe them...they are sure to turn guests into party poopers in a whiz.
Go on, look it up~~I dare ya.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Yes please, make sure we can see your posts through our RSSreaders. It may be a only a little extra step we have to take, but it's one extra steps I refuse to take with other sites. I don't want to have to give up on CW too!

Julie McMahon

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Not only is the butt cake "personalized" with paper tattoos, it looks for all the world like the decorator put a bunch of moles all over ON PURPOSE! It might just be a really sloppy fondant job, but that's not what it looks like...

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBin

i'm nauseous. wow.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlaura.

The old-man-ass cake is so bad.
I love the little doctor about to jump in to the...umm...err...'great beyond'.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjess

O.M.G. I just had fresh blueberries for breakfast; I'm not sure they aren't about to make an, umm, reappearance. :( I seriously didn't think it was possible to make blueberries look disgusting! Wow. Just... these cakes are..... wordfail!

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersunlizzard

Those blueberries look like frog spawn. blergh.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSenta Claws

Has anyone heard the song "We praise the colorectal surgeon"? Seems fitting today...

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCornhusker

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