Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Jan072010

Signs of Trouble

Sometimes, bakery wreckage isn't just limited to the cakes.

But what is it good for?
(Hooh! Good gah, y'all!)


I'll leave it up to you guys to explain what a "cake derator" does.
(Best definitions gets posted below!)


Every time a surly employee "apologizes," I picture him/her doing finger quotes kinda like this.
(And yes, this was taken in a bakery - pinky swear!)

"Honey, my mom is coming to stay for a few months. Isn't that great? I told her you wouldn't mind. Anyway, be a dear and go get a cake for us all to celebrate with, mkay?"

"You got it, sweetums! I know just the place..."

(From the Engrish "brog.")

And speaking of things to celebrate:

Personally, I like to celebrate cake as often as possible - with more cake.

And finally, a few favs from the archives:

Perfect!

Also known as "Bubble and Squeak."

(That's for you English Wreckies. Please, no need to thank me.)


The lawyers insisted.


Update: I've since heard from the owner of that last bakery, who as I recall blamed the sign on an in-law. Heh. At any rate, I think the sign has now been removed. See? Another example of the power of Wreckage, used for good! :D

Many "thanks" to wreckporters Robb & Abby, Allison M., Matt K., Steph, Kristen F., & Bonbon.

- Related Wreckage: Label Makers

"Winning" derator definitions:

"an apparatus for aerating a derrière after consumption of cake. See also: enema"

"It's clearly a promotional tie-in to the new Indiana Jones movie: Derators of Delost Cake!"
- Christina

"combination of a confectioner's pastry and the Latin word deratoria, meaning "the unspeakable", a professional bakery employee who designs, quality checks, or creates cakes that render the recipients speechless.

But, I think the true essence of the term "Cake Derator" is in the anagram it creates: "Karate Decor."

(I like to imagine "Karate Decor" as being a baby's bedroom decorated with ninjas.)"

- Taylor@MyOlderBrothers

And how about a visual definition, courtesy of Reese B.?

Perfect for those "mouse-filled" party cakes!

« Funny Business | Main | "Special" Deliveries »

Reader Comments (172)

I see "Poison Bakery" and can only think "One Bon Bon is poison".

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMeli

Heartiest Congratulations on winning the Blogger's Choice Awards 2009 for the "Best Entertainment Blog" and "Best pop culture blog" category :)
Pooja and Ankit
Dummy Essentials
http://dummy-essentials.blogspot.com/

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDummy Essentials

To TheOtherBaldwin,

The name of the blog on which the picture was found is Engrish.com.

They refer to themselves as a "Brog" which is why Jen put it in quotes. No attempt to be funny, just giving credit where credit is due.

It is simple internet etiquette.

john

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjohn (the hubby of Jen)

Damn, I love this blog.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRachael

Well, if we assume the "Wreckorator" has a poor grasp of the alphabet, we can see that he meant to make the "W" in to an "M" which would make it a "Mar" cake. But then he was in a huury, so he hastily wrote "r", which should actually have been an "n". Therefore, the cake is really supposed to be a "Man" cake.
"Get" "it"?

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

the " Cake Derator" helps you you make cake to be shown on Cake Wrecks. lol

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHoney Sugar Kitchen

Linda in NY, a big thanks for the lyrics to "War!". I started singing it the minute I saw the chocoholic's dream cake.

I kept thinking
"War!
(HUH)
Wahd iz it good for..
ab-so-loot-ly NUTHin'!"

And then immediately thought of Elaine in the limo with her boss and a guest on their way to his giving a speech.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

The Engrish blog and this one are the two I check most regularly when I need to get my chuckle on. It's so weird to have them crossing up with each other. Good weird, but still weird.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think the Cake Derator is an excuse for wreckerators to wreck. Can't spell Decorator? No problem! Derate away!

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVic

I love that the perfect cake sign says "comming soon." perfect cakes, not so perfect spelling.

January 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTasha

In Albertsons defense it probably really is a mouse filled cake. That is if its like the one I work at but our special is the RAT filled party cake. Enjoy.

January 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCasse AKA Catholic Kittie

As others have said, "War Cake" is a real kind of cake. I can't say for sure if that particular cake pictured follows an authentic war cake recipe or if they've just co-opted a title for something irrelevant... but just having a cake with a sign saying "War Cake" doesn't seem like much of a Wreck to me.

And the "Best Chocolate Cake Ever" recipe looks like the "Six Minute Chocolate Cake" from the Moosewood cookbook. It truly is the most AMAZINGLY delicious chocolate cake in existence. You can mix it up right in the pan, no need to use a bowl first.

It's true that it's not great when warm. Let it cool down, put on some glaze or icing or just eat it plain... oooohhhh so good.

January 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermotherbynature

It's so sad for me to say that the Mouse Filled Cake sign is from an Albertson's grocery store. I know the signs too well. I used to work there. *Le sigh* Won't be getting a cake anytime soon.

January 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKris

In response to the "Celebrate Cakes" sign, wanted to let you know that I just got home from the Second Annual Cake Awareness Conference in Jerusalem, Israel. I think we were very successful in spreading the message of this very important cause. All kinds of cakes were represented, and lectures included:

Cake, Global Warming, and World Peace
"Let them Eat Cake!": Aren't There Any Other Cake Quotes?
The Edible Word and Cake Identity in a Post-Colonial Society
Rainbow Cake: Is It Political?
and finally,
Lower Your Expectations: When Good Cake Goes Bad (with visuals from CakeWrecks - you'd be proud)

I am hosting next year and we'd love to have you as our keynote speaker if you happen to be on this side of the world. :)

You can find me on Facebook or email me at NetanyaH at gmail. com

January 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNetanya Hoffman

A "cake derator" is probably some form of Engrish. Over at the Engrish Brog you'll see all kinds of messed-up English. There was one sign that was supposed to say "Do not urinate here. There is a security camera," but the "transrator" screwed up big-time and it now says "No P***ing (On the security camera)".

January 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Cake Derator - A unique product which uses the latest in "fuzzy logic" to automatically misspell any word written with it. Cake Derators are suspected in the "Under Neat That" and "Falker Satherhood" incidents.

January 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKurt

This is what comes from those sorts of cake "derator" tools... Wrecks Ahoy!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/labluegyrl/2079272187/in/set-72157603352904793/

January 10, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdopefaerie

It gets the rats out of your cakes!

January 10, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercityrat

Well.. I am embarassed to say that I work for the company that the "War Cake" is from. I wish I could slap those "Decorators".. and the Manager, as the sharpied case tag is pretty special, considering we can print out a tag that says anything. I get so sad when I see our store on here.

PS, I belive the War cake as a signature cake we had many years ago, that looked NOTHING like that.

January 10, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercupcake_killah

I think the cake derator looks like something you'd use to artificially inseminate livestock. Or maybe it's just for decorating "cake".

January 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSexy Sadie

As for the "Poison Bakery": The writing says "쁘아종제과점" (ppeu-a-jong je-gwah-jawm). Jegwajom is the Korean word for bakery. Unfortunately after searching, I found that Ppeuajong really just means "Poison" (it's not the actual Korean word for poison, but it's the sound of the English word "Poison" in Korean letters. Korean doesn't have a "z" sound, but when saying the word "poison" there is a slight z sound. In place of the "z" they use the "j" sound. When writing "pizza hut" it becomes something like "pija"!). Poisson, as in the French word, might be "푸아송" (pu-a-song) in Korean.

Well after all that, it still really doesn't explain why they called it poison bakery!

January 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaeul

cake derator: either a hillbilly is trying to get across to his mom that a "deer-ate-her" cake, or, the more scholarly version: cake deration: to lower the rated electrical capability of electrical apparatus. in this case: to lower the price of the rated cake decorating abilities.

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>