My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Funny Business

NOTE: Getteth thine kiddies hence! (Translation: today's post is not for the youngun's!)

These clowns seem pretty excited about their cupcakes.

No, I mean really excited.

No, no. I mean REALLY excited.

"Oh! Uh. Hi, guys. Heheh. So, what's up?

"What are we doing? Who - us? Uh...nothing? Yeah, nothing. Nothing at all. Sooo....yeah. Listen, can you close that door again on your way out? And turn the Jimmy Buffett CD back on? Thanks. Yeah. You, too. Ok, then. Bye!"

"So I says to her, 'hey, baby, don't let the tiny clown car fool you; it's not the way you throw the cream pie, it's the way you put the tutu on the dog!' And she was all, 'What?' and I was like, 'never mind.' Yeah."

And then, just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...

Something like this comes along:

Whatever you do, DO NOT click on this picture to see it full size. Srsly. Don't do it.


Ok, now that you've clicked on the picture to see it full size - care to join me in a "I could've gone my whole life without seeing clown tinkle toys" scream? Groovy.


Keith R., Will B., Jane O., Amy F., & Nicole V., I nominate "tinkle toys" as the new clown-bits euphemism for 2010. Any seconds?

- Related Wreckage: Coulrophobia Cakes

Note: The tinkle toys in the last picture were supposed to be buttons. Pink buttons.

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Reader Comments (265)

"Tinkle" Toys, eh? I guess that's the 'other' thing we could be watching the clowns do here...

There must be porno movies like this somewhere. But I'm definitely not going to find out for sure.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ahhh!!!Just just reinforced my fear of clowns!!!!

On another note, would you want to eat cake with GOBS of frosting??

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAHHHHHHHHHHH!

This is the real horror story of clowns-- Stephen King has nothing on these bakeries.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJimmy

Excuse me while I reach for the brain bleach.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Why would naked clowns need pink buttons??

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

whoever did the last cupcakes should go to cupcake jail. srsly.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

Oh, MY! I have never laughed SO hard at one of your posts in my life! (And that is saying something, I assure you!)
Also, I completely agree with anon at 10:21:
"I second the Tinkle Toys moniker, but I pray that it never has to be used ever again. That was beyond disturbing!"

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaurie Laws

They look like sumo clowns! Why oh why would they include those parts on a cupcake? Who wants to eat that kind of cupcake?

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

I nominate "putting the tutu on the dog" instead!! rotfl

p.s. Still singing "War Cake" today. Thanks a lot...

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This was hilarious!! Thanks for the laugh! I love you guys!!!

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGidget

Mwahahahahahahaha SNORT ahahahahahaha snort snort snort..

That was the funniest .... hahahahaha

Buttons. .... ahahahahaha
pink...fleshy buttons...


January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterComfyDenim

Do you ever wonder if the "decorators" actually make these mistakes on purpose? Who in their right mind would BUY these cupcakes unless it was a special order? I can just see it now........Oh, Martha those poor clown cupcakes didn't sell, so I now have free cupcakes for a week!


January 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercrownring

Now I remember why I, like so many people, find clowns so horrifying!

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenW

Ack! Bad clown!

I'm really hoping those naughty clowns are the most disturbing thing I'll be seeing today.
But it's a big city.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHobbit

I will *never* eat a creme-filled cupcake again!

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My retinas! Not even staring at the sun helps.

What was seen can not be unseen!

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTyler

OMG!! Those are not buttons. No way.
Amy B-H

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I am so sorry I looked.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarji

Thank you. My fear of clowns has reached an all-time high!

Boss: What?! Are those clowns naked?

Decorator: Oh, goodness, no! They are wearing fat suits, silly.

Boss: Uh, then what is with the little pink, uh, "thing"?

Decorator: That's the pink zipper, of course!

Boss: Oh! Good job! Carry on then, carry on.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterModern Male Homemaker

oh man the word Tinkle Toys is already taken...

Apparently you put it in the urinal and take aim.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Well that was.. lovely.? Pink buttons you say? lovely.

Ignore my inability to use the English language correctly. It was those er lovely pink buttons that didn't seem to need pants to er stay in place.?

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHae

:( What? No g-rated today? *sniff* not funneee..

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

What a bunch of of deranged clowns!

I mean, "Derated."


January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

isnt it so appropriate they are wearing straitjackets?

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This was the PERFECT birthay post for one such as me! I had quite the laugh!

Thank you!!

wv: dipro
The clown didn't need dipro because he had di cupcake.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

I am trying to picture those pieces of art on display in our local Wal-Mart bakery. Holy moly.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Tinkle toys!
WTF is up with the green gummy worm on the otherwise-nice chocolate cupcake in the background of the photo??

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErica

@ Jenn 12:09--

I was thinking they would have polka-dots, or maybe be shaped like balloon animals, but apparently not. More likely to have some dreaded clown STD instead.

"Those aren't sprinkles?!"

wv: misalur--- when you find yourself initially 'alured' by something that turns out to be disgusting instead. Like clown cupcakes.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Maybe if the clowns were'nt FLESH COLORED with pink buttons, there wouldn't have been such an issue. Is it really that hard to mix up a new color of frosting before piping those bodies?!

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLori

Not to pick nits, but - could that just possibly be a misplaced apostrophe in the Note? Nah, couldn't be.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWATERBABY CHRISTINE

What on earth were they thinking? Were the flesh-colored dabs supposed to be hands that gravity dirtified?

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTamara Marnell

HAHAHA! WHAT? WHAT? Wow! Just, wow.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWilliam

the last one... omg. In addition to the obvious, it also looks like they are naked and squatting on the cupcake. I do not want to eat that. If it's chocolate cake, I DEFINITELY do not want to eat that.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

THAT was the most hilarious post EVER! OH MY GOD....Your dialogue on the one BEFORE the porno ding-a-ling clowns was PRICELESS!!!! I am going to find a way to fit that into something I say in my day. I am.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterpeewee

"Hence" means "to here." Perhaps you meant "thence"?

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermagda

totally gonna date myself but...

Coed Naked Clown Cupcake making!!!!

(yes, I was a teenager in the 90's when these t-shirts were all the rage)

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDidda

It wasn't the "tinkle toys" that got me. It was the elaphantiasitic arms and legs, The Elephant Man arms are especially tragic, since they can't reach the... no no. I dare not go on.


vw "mentate" Shades of Dune.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNoni Mausa

Oh. My. Goodness. "I Don't Understand!!" (imagine Ryan Reynolds voice in the Proposal). Flesh colored icing--never a good idea.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAutumn

turkey clown headed cupcakes wrecks need action too, just saying, don't hate on the playerz

wv: tifev
tiny lovin clown fever -slang for, well, you know

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

Sweet Mother Mary.... what in gods name!?!? AAAAAHHHHHHHHH.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly

I thought that maybe they were folded hands in the last picture although that did seem a little odd

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This just makes me hate clown decorations even more! Bleck! Who thought this would be fabulous to put on cakes?

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

Buttons my buttocks - that's an employee who's sniffed just a bit too much icing sugar having a laugh. And if you need your own Tinkle Toy, they come in twin packs and I can get you one at our local supermarket ;)

WV - Dentelov. What you're showing by eating a clown's icing Tinkle Toy

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Well, the clowns' toys are funny but the clown in the middle certainly looks like he is pointing at the guy to the right. Hilarious!

And those are definitely not buttons......

Funny, I sort of like cupcakes now...

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca F.

Based on what else we've seen going on in this bakery, I'd wager that's not a gummy worm, per se.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Tinkle toys"? THAT'S a new one! Thanks, Jen! Can't wait to start teaching that one to my 3 year old nephew ;)

Man, now I'm REALLY afraid of clowns.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJust Me,Pilgrim

Nudie clown cupcakes? Seriously? I can't even begin to imagine WHY anyone would want that...

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

While I can easily imagine most of these to be happy and delightful Dead Clown Cakes, in the last one I can't get over the huge muscles and the fact that all the clowns appear to have their hands tied behind their backs.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterD.B. Echo

Way too funny!

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

What.... The.... Heck?

Um, wow. Those cakes could seriously scare kids and make them hate clowns forever.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAimee

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