My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The Power of Suggestive

Attention Parents: Today's post contain adult humor - albeit extremely childish adult humor.


You know how it goes: you see something, you choke back a laugh, you look around to see if anyone ELSE is laughing, you note that no one is, and then you figure your mind is just in the gutter and you're the only one who sees something a little iffy about the sheep bone on this one-year-old's cake, for example:

[Photo removed at baker's request. (Although *she* thought it was funny; the client did not.) Instead, please enjoy this lovely picture of Epcot. And then imagine a sheep holding a giant dog bone at hip level.]

Doooo yoooour "bones" hang low?
Do they dangle to and fro?
Can you toss 'em in a sack?
Do they startle little Bo?


The point, my fellow gutter-minded friends, is pointing skyward at the moment - and a little to the right.

But in a more metaphorical sense, the point is I understand. Call it a hazard of the job, but I, too, often see giggle-inducing unmentionables where others see, say, unusually shaped "flowers:"

{Insert stamen joke here}


And I'm forced to wonder just how curious Curious George has become to warrant a giant censor dot:


Of course, some people are even further down the gutter pipes than I am, as evidenced by those of you (John) who felt this less-than-ladylike graduation bear deserved a mention - or at least a longer gown:

Sew Unseamly! Someone get this bear a Barely There Censor Bear, STAT.

(Btw, I've heard of a nip slip before, but what do you call this?)
(No, wait - don't answer that. There are innocents present.)


Ok, I know that one was a stretch - [rim shot!] - but tell me you're not in the LEAST bit curious why a baker decided to do this:

Maybe it's a pun: you know, a trunk down the Gingerbread man's trunks? But then, why does the elephant look so unhappy?

Again, probably best if you don't answer that.


Ever see a cake so cute you just want to squeeze it?

Yeah, I'm feeling the exact opposite of that right now.


And then there are the cakes that cross over from vaguely disconcerting into outright cringe-inducing:


And... [whimper]... is that a pearl necklace?

Close the internet. We all need showers.
What? No, not together - ok, COLD showers, for some of you.
And maybe a case of Unicorn chasers.


Thanks to Anony M., Beth B., Carrie C., Patrick V., Katie Q., Cindy K., & Lesley W. for ruining the song "Butterfly Kisses" for me. No, wait, that was already ruined. Never mind.

« Play It Again, Donkey! | Main | Sunday Sweets: Villain Edition! »

Reader Comments (58)

Minor point - the sheep at the beginning is Timmy from Shaun the Sheep and Timmy Time, and the odd shape unfortunately protruding from his sack, er, satchel is *supposed* to be his teddy bear.

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJeni

Oh the first one!! hee hee Timmys teddy got a lobotomy, and did an impression of bollocks!

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdiddleymaz

I’m a little worried that using this song will cause me to burst into flames, but it really did fit. And, hey, it can’t be any more offensive than some of these cakes, right? So,

Sung to “Do you Hear What I Hear?”

Said our dear Jen to her husband, John
Do you see what I see?
Pointing skyward by the little lamb
Do you see what I see?
I’m scarred, I’m scarred
Get that from my sight
Should I use it? Hey, I just might.
Should I use it? I think I might.

Thought the wreckerator looking at the cake
Will they see what I see?
Sitting there so clear on the cake
Will they see what I see?
Oh dear, or dear
That frosting looks so near
To some private anatomy
To some private anatomy

Said the monkey cake to the bakery
Can’t you leave my hands free?
Sorry but I’m one bored monkey
Can’t you leave my hands free?
Besides, look see
At this bear so bold
Do you have a thong fondant mold?
Do you have a thong fondant mold?

Thought the shoppers in the bakeries everywhere
What the heck could that be?
Why’d they have to put that trunk there?
What the heck could that be?
And should they really
Set that pink thing free
To cause unplanned cake pregnancy
To cause unplanned cake pregnancy

Oh my, oh me
That butterfly’s skeevy
It’s something I’d like to unsee
It’s something I’d like to unsee

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

LOL, Sharyn!

These are hilarious, except for the 2nd one, which had me cringing and recalling unfortunate gynecological visits that I want never to repeat again. Infections, anyone? Because that yellowish color in the middle is NOT the proper color of any pollen I've ever seen!

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterwrittenwyrdd

At first I was thinking "Why on earth not have the HEAD of Timmy's bear poking through the bag?!" Then I reviewed the positioning and decided that would just make for a different dirty joke.

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJ

What are the chances the cake on the Curious George cream filled?

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDramman

Oh, that sheep WANTS you to think those are the feet of a teddy bear sticking out. But he seems to be less than sheepish in hinting at what is REALLY in the bag.

And Sharyn, great song, you rock!

And after all these years we finally know why Curious George keeps taking the Yellow Hat....

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSandy in SoFla

OK, now that Jeni points it out, it IS Shawn the Sheep! I thought it was a sheep with a broken arm, and for some reason they showed that by the end of a bone hanging out of the sling! That would have been truly "awful."
Knowing its Shawn doesn't change what it looks like for me...

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Re: Butterfly cake -

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSmoodge's DF

Lindsay Lohan bear cake!!!!!

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCB

The first two are the most obvious, the curious George one is just bad placement. Sharyn bwahahahah XD XD I will be going to hell with you for laughing at it :D

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Thank you for the clarification, Jeni! I couldn't for the life of me figure out why a sheep would have a bone in his sack.

Yes, I *smirked* while typing that. :)

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTrekkie Gal

Oh, AUUURRRRGGGHHHHH! Never mind the immodest grad gown, why would anyone put a REAL teddy bear on a cake!? GAAAARRRRROOOOSSSS!

The older I become, the more inexplicable things I see. The gingerbread man with the unhappy elephant's head is one such a case. (Insert dazed and confused emoticon here.)

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercrownring

Oh, naughty naughty mooseknuckle bear.

Are we sure that's Shaun the sheep and not his ex-wife after she won his *ahem* in the divorce? Just saying...

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKat

I noticed the bear cake has a sticker that says "display only." It sure is a display!

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSteph

Why...why does the sheep need a bone?

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStimey

Thank you, Jeni! I couldn't figure out why a sheep would be carrying a bone in a satchel.

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDeanna

As usual, Sharyn, I love you.

OK, let's give the Shawn/Timmy sheep decorator props for artistry and also for having a clean, innocent mind. Y'all must admit, having a mind cleaner than *our* collective mind is probably pretty easy by now.

I hope the butterfly decorator is also an innocent, but (I gag as I write this) I think the bottom of the *ahem* shaft, HAS HAIR!!!!!!!!!!

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTricia

I almost choked on my lunch at pearl necklace. Well played. I can't decide if I'm impressed or disturbed that you went there.

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelonie

Melanie, I vote for disturbed.

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKit

Melonie, I think we should be a *little* disturbed. Thank goodness my daughter is off @ camp where *no* electronics are allowed. I'll make sure she misses this one when she catches up on Cake Wrecks after camp. 12 is too young for me to explain this! (And yes, that would be KatateLady's Daughter.)

And Jen, Thank you for the warning @ the top of the post! Keep them up, OK? Like before making any "50 Shades of Grey" references? My daughter's a bookworm. I don't want her getting curious & going ANYWHERE near that book until she's on the other side of 30, ok? Ok. Thank you in advance! :-)

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

@Jeni et al

*phew* I'm glad I'm not the only one confused as to why a sheep (generally a herbivore) would be carrying a bone. I am surprised that the artistry used on the rest of the sheep wasn't afforded to what is supposed to be a teddy bear.

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaria

Unfortunate as the gutter/mind redirects are today, what horrifies me most is the fact that some baker elected to push a plushy directly into the frosting of a cake people are expected to eat... O_o

Oh, and that Timmy seems to have some major anatomical defects. Poor Timmy. (Insert "South Park" joke here).

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Oh, what a nice Timmy the Sheep cak... **WHUT!**


July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDPL

That post should have come with a put any food or drinks down before reading....

Thanks for clearing up the sheep- I was stumped as to what that could be, other than the obvious!!!
Awesome Sharyn!


July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDiane

That second one...the tropical flower...I saw one of those tattooed on someone and the awkwardness of it was even worse than the cake. Just imagine the worst...yea that was it

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTammy

I literally said "what the fern" out loud to myself on the first cake but don't write that (in blue) on any future wrecks please.

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFsurica

The stamen is a d&mned myth. Don't let anyone tell you differently.

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJeremy

Okay, I have never laughed so hard in a long time. Thanks. *wiping tears from my eyes* That butterfly has been in too many flowers.

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCandes

The Butterfly also reminds me of a tribal mask...

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShawn

Ok, I got most of them, but the balloon. What is is NOT supposed to look like? Lol. Maybe half a sack?

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMeghan

Poor Shaun the sheep - it's otherwise a cracking cake!

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWinona

#6 - Happy Birthday, Douchebag??? Okayyyyyyy.

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDidoCarthage

Forget "poor Timmy." What about Poor George?? Looks like he's scratching (down there). Hope he doesn't have crabs. I'll never see Curious George the same, every again..he's ruined.

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergabsmom

Why does the bear have a nu-nu?!?!?!

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

Why not show the whole teddy bear for Timmy? I really don't understand the need to hide it under a blanket. Oh geez.

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMimi

WTF (What the Frosting)!!!! After reading today's post I was so embarrassed my hair turned fifty shades of gray.....
Keep it up...wait...that didn't come out right.....
I'm a firm
I'm an upstanding supporter of Cake Wrecks.....
@Sharyn: keeping with your "fire" comment, that song was asbestos they come....
@Stimey: why does the sheep need a bone? Ewe know.....

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

These made me SNORT with laughter!!!!! **wiping tears away** Thanks, I needed a Monday belly jiggling LOL!!

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDarlene

HA! I laughed at the "pearl necklace:" - what all the ca-lassy ones wear!

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdeb

I'm so glad I can come here and "hang out" with such a fun group!

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRPainter

noooooooooooooo, Sharyn!!! not the only carol that I actually, really liked. (thunk)



"Do you have a thong fondant mold?" that line put me way beyond giggle/snort into hyena hacking.

Truth in Advertising: the girl bear in the too short dress has "display only" so I guess that's all she's allowed to do- display her, ahem, "wares."

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

After seeing this I had to go check out the
bears that we have like that. That one
must be special, because they didn't have
that "seam."

Sharyn the song was perfect.

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAna

@Barbara Anne: I'm sorry. If we ever meet I'll bring you some cough drops for that hack.

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I got so excited when I first saw the "Timmy Time" cake, I thought at first I missed Sunday sweets.

Then I saw what I really hope is supposed to be Timmy's bear. Otherwise, I should probably worry about what my son's been learning about when watching Timmy Time.

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAn

Lol oh my goodness. Well I can now never look at a butterfly again without dying of laughter at this cake. My goodness either these wreckerators are just a randy bunch or this was from the erotic bakery department lol. Can't unsee these but boy do I wish I could..

July 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

At least the balloons on the graduation cake look like balloons (for a change)

July 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShirl

The sheep is Timmy Time, that's exactly how he looks - blame the beeb not the cake!

July 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSam

The bear has a beaver!!!

July 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSue W.

Anyone else think of Georgia O'Keefe's work when looking at the flower cake?

July 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJen

The gingerbread man is *obviously* a clever homage to The Elephant Man. I mean, someone just wouldn't randomly put a big dangly-trunked elephant head on a gingerbread man would they? Would they?

July 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDenise G

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