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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Nov092010

Parent Appreciation Day

Think you have a shot at "most embarrassing parents?"

Not anymore.



The fact that "period" is spelled wrong pales in comparison with, you know, everything else.

Still, it could've been worse. Lucy's parents could have put her picture on the cake:


And then served it with a side of drippy cherry cheesecake.

Really.

Then again, is that really any worse than a commemorative toilet training cake?



Guys, there is such a thing as a generic celebration cake, you know. Just sayin'.

Oh, and Mom? Dad? I love you.

Thanks for the perspective, Anony M., Victoria C., & Britany S. And also for the vocabulary lesson.

« Picture Perfect | Main | Really? Really. »

Reader Comments (150)

Oi, yes, you can celebrate things more discreetly!

Kiddo got to decorate her own cake when she successfully did potty for two weeks straight, but she requested that reward and it was the beloved Wilton duck pan she'd much coveted for any reason she could think of since her 1st birthday party. No direct potty references necessary!

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

I'd just like to thank my parents for never doing anything like these cakes and the occasions for which the cakes must have been made. Thank you, Mom and Dad.

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Oh dear, oh dear. That second cake. Words fail me. My eyes pop open, my jaw drops.

..................
............
.........
....

Nope - got nothin' Words fail me.

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

WHERE'S MY MENOPAUSE CAKE!!!!?

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Gee. I guess I never before thought to be glad that my mother was extremely shy, modest, and totally freaked out about her daughters getting their periods. It was A BIG SECRET from the rest of the family.

Of course, it would have been FINE to have secret cakes.

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNiteNurse

I'm sorry, but I don't know what that 2nd word is on the 2nd cake. help, please?

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKarin Luster

In my day, we were happy with a box of maxi-pads and a...
Well thats all, just a box of maxi-pads. AND we were happy to get it.

Pampered, spoiled, entitled young women today. I hope they appreciate those of us who suffered so that they might have an embarrassing confection ;)

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

When googling "Menarche", I found a rather terrifying Menarche Parties R'Us.

Anyone fancy a game of Pin the Ovaries?!
Ann

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChica

Do people honestly CELEBRATE their first period!? Then again, cake probably would help things... but those cakes... come on... the drippy cherry cheesecake.... *shivers*

Definitely not something I'd ever make my (far in the future) daughter celebrate.

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCandace

wv - ingsh: the sound uttered when an image is so incredibly cringeworthy no actual word is suitable.

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Karen,
It says, "Menarche" which is the first menstrual cycle.

And obviously deserves a cake!!

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I won't even begin to comment on the first two. *shudder*

But why are there chicken feet coming out of the rancid looking picture on the potty cake?

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

I can remember several times in the past when I felt like celebrating the arrival of my period. Am I right ladies?

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

To Anonymous re

"WHERE'S MY MENOPAUSE CAKE!!!!?

November 9, 2010 9:40 AM"

Right On, Sister!! Your comment made me belly laugh. Alas, I fear we must get our own m-pause cakes. However this gave me the idea to have a Hot Flashes Party in the dead of winter here in MN. I could serve all summer party food--cold hors d'oeuvres and light girl-y cocktails; Caribbean music and everyone asked to dress for 90 degrees. Of course, lots of cake.

Terrell

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNiteNurse

I'm with "Anonymous" on the menopause cake!

KC

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Even worse, its looks like cake #2 is part of a big spread. Can you imagine getting the invitation for that party? Or having to write the thank you notes afterward?

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJ

Oh! Oh! I get the piece with the poo!

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

Bwahahahaha! You have to admire the thoughtless evil that went into celebrating a girl's passage into womanhood with a drippy cherry cheesecake. :P

Thank you, mom and dad for never celebrating my first period with cake!

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIce Queen

@ Karin - It's Manarche. According to Wiki it's a girls first menstral cycle.

That word should never be on cake.

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTralix

And that second one looks like it's laid out on a buffet table. As if for a *party*!

Is this a cultural thing? Is there some nationality or fertility-goddess religion that makes a big deal out of this? Ew.

Those pictures did not make my cramps go away.

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

Check me out! I'm a better parent than some random people on the internet. That's the validation I needed this morning. Now for coffee.

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDani

Menarche, it means the begining of menstruation. or your first period. really, though "happy menarche"? its like that stupid pad company "have a happy period!" sheesh! I'd sooner celebrate menopause, and what is up with all the men?
I took my daughter out for chocolate shakes, and a "crying" movie. she would have killed me in my sleep if I had thrown her a party with a cake like this. Hmmm, I guess you can call these the Lizzie Borden special.

Mrs N

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

And I was embarassed when my mom called my dad at work to tell him about my first. Thank goodness no one thought about celebrating it!

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteramchornetgirl

LOL, SuBee!

At least the potty cake has its own poo on it. Ick. Just, like, who is going to take the first plop, oops I mean, piece, of cake?

I have to thank you for giving me a reason to be thankful for my parents today. I could not imagine having a cake to celebrate that particular event. Much less purchasing it from a bakery!

Seriously, though - where's the cake celebrating a girl's first bra? Can't be any worse.

Nicely done, but still in poor taste. Well, if you don't count the mithspelling.

~~Di

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Really? REALLY? Dang, people, there are some occasions that do NOT need cakes!! Granted, chocolate cake is always good during certain weeks of the month, but I don't want to share it with anyone.

I am so going to make myself a menopause cake when it happens. And have friends over. And not share the cake - because I'll be cranky and hot. Maybe it will be an ice cream cake.

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFerralyn

I would DIE if my parents gave me any of those cakes.

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

I really hope that cherry cheesecake was not...intentional.

also I find it slightly hilarious that my "word verification" to post a comment is 'PANGS'. Hahaha...

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Wow! That's a therapy bill in the future!

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWeibel Family

I have a friend who is planning a HUGE Menopause party complete with a chocolate fountain. I don't think I want a party...but I will be celebrating it!

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRenee

lol@ anony 9:57!

Looking back, I think my mother still owes me a number of cakes to make up for that particular occasion-- she told everybody at the dinner table that day. And it happened to be on Christmas Day, so there were lots of people to hear. Probably, some of them would have liked some cake for having to share in the news...

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I feel slightly ill after seeing that cheesecake next to the other cake whose subject shall not be named.

For one thing, at least in my opinion, there ain't nothin' worth celebrating about that particular event. When it occurred for me I immediately began counting down to menopause, and I agree with Anonymous that menopause will be much more worthy of cake.

And, for another I was majorly embarressed when my mom dared to tell a friend of hers, I can't even imagine the horror of having it emblazoned on a cake and captured by film for posterity.

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJulia

So what I'm wondering is this; in this age of equal-opportunity, if we are celebrating a girl's step into womanhood with cake, what are we doing for the boys? "Happy Spontaneous Erection" eclairs?

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'll dissent here. In many non-Western cultures menarche is seen as an important rite of passage, which makes a lot of sense socially and biologically. I think the extent of it being a taboo subject here has to do with puritanical beliefs about sex and disgust toward women's bodies. (Ever read "If men could menstruate" by Gloria Steinem? http://www.mum.org/ifmencou.htm) Assuming the girls involved were on board with it, I think it's awesome that their families or communities were celebrating them in such a positive way.

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

nothing says YUMMY like menstrual cake...

covered in dripping cherries,
with lots of cherry sauce,
and a gooey raspberry filling...

ok. i'll stop now. >.<

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkittymidori

Oh, my God! The drippy cherry cheesecake! The red icing on the actual cake! I think I threw up in my mouth a little bit there.

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterA.J.

To Half Assed Kitchen
@ 10:08 AM

I fell off of my chair. And now I have that refrain repeating in my head. I'll be giggling all day.

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

My parents got me a "Sweet Sixteen" cake - but had the baker put a big X over the "Sweet" part. My family is a giant pile of sarcastic jerkholes.

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

i'm so happy that my parents have never done something like this.

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLuna

o.O

I'd like to thank my mom & dad too.

I am reminded of Todd Yohn's feminine hygiene song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvoT0ZicwZY

L. O. L. @ Anonymous' Menopause cake! Might as well celebrate perimenopause too! I wouldn't have anything written on my cakes tho'.

wv: jiredle. Ji, redle cherries are dripping on that cheesecake.

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

Words fail me.
*shudder*
*twitch*
*blink*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Anonymous at 10:37 I nearly choked on my tea! Spontaneous erection eclairs, brilliant!

Personally I'm overwhelmed by the genius that elected to drizzle the entire potty cake with poo

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristine

Oh Wow! I'm glad my first time was kept private.

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelli

I remember reading The Diary of Anne Frank, and she was happy to get her first period. I was a young teenager at the time, and to be honest, it helped take the "ickiness" out of the whole experience for me. I could appreciate that other cultures saw it as a blessing of real womanhood...not that I'd want to celebrate with a party or anything. LOL

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersikki

My SIL made my niece a "poopy" cake for when she mastered potty training. I was mortified! It had brown blobs of frosting all over it. I'd have sent you a picture if I could have stopped gagging long enough to take one. Sorry.

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPotsy

Oh, the cheesecake! With the red dripping down its sides! If I were that poor girl, I would have nightmares of that "celebration" forever. "Make it stop! Make it stah-hah-hop! *sobs*"

(Now if there was a cake that said, "Welcome, Daughter, to the Joys of Cramps and Stained Clothes for the next 45 Years!", THAT would be truth in advertising! "Happy Menarch" indeed! :P)

leorising

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

oh my gosh, I would never dream of doing that to my daughter! Please, if I ever get to that point, someone put me out for my kids' sake!

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

Well, remembering all the birth cakes you've posted, I think this could have gone much worse and more graphic than it was. So we can all be thankful for that.

I intend to help my girls celebrate their beginning of womanhood, but certainly not by displaying it on a cake. That's not to say that we won't be eating cake. It just doesn't have to have everything written out on it. Some things should not be printed in frosting.

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRaven

I think I would have rather had cake then my mother walking into my school and saying (rather loudly) "AWW MY BABYS ALL GROWN UP I'M SO PROUD OF YOU" in the middle of the school day, in the middle of the office, while I'm sittng with a sweatshirt tied around my waist.... yea awesome.... Can i have some cake now???

~Mel

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yeah. The second cake is bad. Really bad. But... look beyond the wreck that is the cake to the horror that is the cherry topped cheesecake behind it, to the left. OK. Its a Menarche party. That doesn't mean you have to graphically illustrate the point!

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlisagems

I will also dissent. Just because YOU found it foul and not worth a celebration does not mean it's wrong for someone else to want to celebrate a young girl's passage into womanhood.

Just because you don't understand something doesn't mean it's wrong.

November 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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