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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Sep292010

Somewhere in Germany...

"Tyler! Stop hitting your sister. Oh, look, hun! A bakery with an outdoor cafe! Let's stop in and get a treat for the kids. Whaddya say, Madison? Sound good?

"Oooh, wow, it all looks good! So hard to decide. Well, I think I'll get a couple of the chocolate donuts for the kids... Oh! And I'll have some of that cherry cheesecake. Yummy... hm? What's that, hun? Oh, ok. ...And my wife would like a big ol' slice of the dong cake, please!"

"Tyler! Get your face off the glass!"

Ah, Europe! You're so... European.

Thanks to Andrea G. (And yes, the smiley face really did have to be that big.)

Update: Listen! I really can't put the uncensored version up. (I know too many 9 year olds who read the blog.) But if you really want to see it, email me at comments(at)cakewrecks.com and I'll send it to you. Unless you're 9. In which case shame on you for even asking.

Update to the update: I have now sent out well over 300 uncensored dong cakes. I gotta tell you, if someone had asked me five years ago what I'd be doing in five years, I probably wouldn't have said, "Sending out explicit pictures of dong cakes to curious readers of our cake humor blog." I feel dirty. But in a good way.

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Reader Comments (108)

That sounds about right. You should see the chocolates around Valentine's Day. ;P

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelly's Korner

in Berlin perhaps I truly can not imagine anywhere else in Germany that would be seen, (I spend a lot of time there) dear God I hope thats in Berlin.. you dont see that in the Rhine valley towns I assure you. Not on the most drunken wine harvest day do you see that.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercaferacers66

I'm going to have to stop reading the blog. And I LOVE this blog. Too many "off-color" posts lately. I really was offended by the wording of yesterday's and today's post. Sadness. :(

Melody

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterImagineMel

Oh My!! ****blink****

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

I saw similar, um, creations made of chocolate in Bruges (Belgium)this summer.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHope

Heh, the one to the left of it's not so innocent either! :)

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKait

Seriously? That was in a public bakery? WOW

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

Um, you might want to put a smiley over the reflection, too ;)

As for "off-color," maybe it's just me, but this blog is meant to be making fun of cakes gone wrong. If any cake could ever go wrong, it's one with a giant 'dong' (which by the way is a great replacement word for any of a thousand different worse ways to say male genitalia) next to one in a string bikini. I thought this post was hilarious, and oh so very European. I hope Melody gives this blog another chance.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

None of the posts in this blog are off color or offensive. ImagineMel needs to lighten up.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hmm. As a European reader, I feel like I have to comment by posting a link to one of our most distinguished chocolate manufacturer's site. They actually do not ONLY advertise these on their webpage under "adult products" but ALSO have them on display at their distributors'.

http://www.kultasuklaa.fi/tuotteet.html?page=shop.browse&category_id=6
Viewer discretion advised. No smiley faces have been disembodied in the making of this site.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterViiriƤinen

Um if you find 'dong' offensive then you must be a nun. That is a pretty mild word. And doing cake wrecks a lot of them are going to be ones that look 'rude' in one way or another, it's half the fun.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

One of the 'classic' cakes on this blog is about a fireman's ... hose. How on earth does anyone assume the posts don't have adult content at times?

As for the cake itself.. <3 Germany.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh good grief ImagineMel, lighten up. Cake Wrecks is an awesome site. If you're willing to give up a good laugh because of a couple of "off color" posts (which are MILD compared to the millions of other sites on the web), you need to relax. Life is too short to be a stick in the mud!

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Where's the link to the original version?! Curious minds want to drool^H^H^H^H^H admire^H^H^H^H^H^H see...

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It's Germany. They have "toy" stores at the airport. The photography shops/studios have their nude pics on display outside. After living there for 5 years, I don't think I'd blink twice at this cake.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristina

A heavily censured that only shows cake thighs and the word 'dong' are not shocking. I'm sorry. Please take into account the numbers of us who do appreciate these posts.

and fwiw, I've lived in Germany (my husband is from there) and this doesn't surprise me. :) I think, despite what another poster said, that this could easily happen in another of the big cities. Hamburg, perhaps. But yeah it's nothing like the Valentine's chocolate selections!

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercakeinoz

haha, oh my!

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

really, "dong" is offensive now? why are you even braving the internet if you are so sensitive?

your blog is awesome, don't change it, unless you want to take off that smiley. ;)

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermartha

*blinks*

The smiley face really *had* to be that big? Wow! Then I guess you're using the 6-foot Pole comment to segue from one post to another, huh?

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJohn

Sorry, Cakewrecks.

It's been fun.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterladyrazorsharp

Come on, let us see it! I mean, can we truly call it a wreck if it is "anatomically correct" ?

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

i freaking want one! lol!!

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Is it wrong that I'm getting excited about the flouncers? I really need to cut back on reading Regretsy.

Seriously, don't alter the blog because a couple of people get bent into a twist about some very benign content. You can't control what people will get offended over, and it's not worth it to try to cater.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKate

I'm an adult, and I'd like an option to see it without the smily :) Keep us the good work!

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStefRobrts

"A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it."

Taken directly off the site under "What is a cakewreck?"

So if you came here looking for posts that were in no way "inappropriate" then you are in the wrong place.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

Maybe it's just me, but I can't really make out anything in that reflection.

But yay for commentroversy! ImagineMel and ladyrazorsharp, you may want to avoid regretsy.com.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWoody

I love this blog, and have spent hours reading through all of the posts! Love the writing that goes along with the wrecks. Keep up the great work :)

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

I wish you would post the non-censored versions of the pics somewhere. I often am really curious as to what exactly is under there!

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteramydove

I had NO IDEA cake decorators could be such prudes! What with all the mixing, spreading, squeezing, patting, and rolling inherent in cake-making, I just figured you guys were, uh, down with that.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Drat, I went looking for the off-color remarks from yesterday and only found some stuff about a Polish flag. Maybe it was over my head? Keep 'em coming and keep 'em blue...I come to Cake Wrecks for a laugh and always get one. Thanks.

p.s....perhaps the same people who think CW is off-color are those offended by Katy Perry's outfit when she sang with Elmo on Sesame Street.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLois Moon

WAIT. Imagine Mel HAS to be joking, yes? Off color as in bad colors? I can ALMOST see this one..but yesterdays?! The Polish one? Definitely off color, but offensive?!

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Didi

Ah, makes me proud to claim German heritage! ;o)

Def. do not change based on 2 comments. Can't stand the jokes...don't read the blog.
The rest of us say "bring them!".

Thanks for the laughs Cake Wrecks. I can always count on you to make me (literally) LOL

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

i totally love that oicture and think it is very funny!i dont see nothing wrong with a cake like that and i think that smiley face is not necessary!!....hmmm...but im german and we are not all uptight about that stuff ;)!

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commenternina

Ooo ooo ooo, you know you've made it on the internet when people start rage-quitting over blog posts...

I <3 you guys, keep up the good work. :)

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSkye

I think the off-color posts are my favorite. I mean, sperm balloons? Offensive? No. Hilarious? Heck yes! Love your stuff.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterit's the hippy undertones

I find it shocking that someone would be shocked by this post! And, all these years I thought that I was the one who was a prude ... nope.
The body is a beautiful thing people, particularly when it's cake, smile and laugh a little.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSallyD

Of all the cakes you've shared with us (including cake "giving birth") this is the one that's offensive?
I'm more offended by the spelling and grammar on some of the cakes.
Go figure.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

You can totally see the dong in the reflection if you click on the pic to make it bigger and then zoom ;)
Wow.... you know you have no life when you actually bother to look that closely at a cake version of a penis.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth C.

If you look at ImagineMel's blog, there is post titled "Ding, Dong."

Hello Kettle? This is the pot, you're black.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLynne

Also I think it is interesting that at the linked site of chocolate "naughty bits" you can only get the boy parts in pink. Are the girl parts too realistic in pink?

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth C.

Cake Wrecks is one of the only blogs I've found that gives me belly laughs on a VERY regular basis. Thanks for that! And I am also for removing the smiley, or at least offering a link to the uncensored version.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCreative-Juices

I'm the opposite. I'd love to see the uncensored version of these cakes. Perhaps on a separate link since my little daughter loves to read this over my shoulder.

I swear I'm not a sicko, btw. Just morbidly fascinated ny the idea of someone sculpting *ahem* parts from cake.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersimone

Hah! You "fixed" the reflection in the glass case. Now it just looks like the butt end of a docked dog. ('cuz 2 hours ago when I last looked, there was definitely flag support there.)

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

I should have listened to Jen and gone with "wang."

john

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjohn (the hubby of JEN)

you should not block out the jiggles and bits.......

or post covered and then not covered....

:) Kim in FL

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What does it say about me that I spared the offending smiley just a glance because I was wondering whether the pastries above the chocolate donuts were http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cream_puff" rel="nofollow">Windbeutel or http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bienenstich" rel="nofollow">Bienenstich and subsequently craving both? ;D

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commentertangomenas

I'd like to join in the chorus of people asking for links to uncensored version of some of the more risquƩ wrecks. The smiley faces and black bars totally take the fun out of everything.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

WHY is the woman's covered up, but the man's genitalia is just openly visible for all to see? (And yes, it's not covered in the least - I saw the uncensored version). I call sexism.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm with @Tangomenas 6:50 PM
on this ... I am much more interested in what that is ABOVE the smiley face. And do they FedEx.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

God forbid a 9-year old know what human genitals look like!

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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