My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Cake Secrets

Because sometimes Wreckerators need to confess anonymously, too.

"My boss made me sweep the floor, even though I didn't make the mess. So I swept up, and then made her a special cake...

"...which somehow got set out for sale."

"You know that third time I asked you to spell 'congratulation' for me?

"I was totally messing with you."

"My watch is in there."

"Sometimes I like to draw vaguely obscene things on cakes...

"...and then tell your kids they're Oompa Loompas."

"I've never seen Star Wars."

"I told you it was a grill, but to be honest...

"I don't know what this is, either.

"Oh, and I licked the spoon."

"I really, really, REALLY....

"...don't like kids."

"I told my managers it'll never happen again, but...

"...wait'll they see where I put Snow White!"

Monica R., Sarina, Jes H., Kelly W., Heather S., Dee P., Marissa C., & Brian B, your secrets are safe with me. And everyone else on the Internet.

Oh, and if you guys like Post Secret, check out Frank's tour schedule; he may be coming to a city near you!

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Reader Comments (143)

I love Cinderella as a T. Rex jockey! Very creative =).

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

These "secrets" are so much better than the PostSecret secrets (most of which seem self-indulgent, mean, or pointless to me).

I really want to know where Snow White is.

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElissa

Interesting that the glass is "non-glare" on the display case in picture #7. Elmo already looks positively EVIL!

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne

Shoes and bottles of nail polish on a cake. What a ... good idea.

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary


is there a cookie on Oscar's head." rel="nofollow">

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKate

I am incredibly offended by that fourth cake. I don't know what it is but I know pornography when I see it. I'm sorry, but I will NOT read this blog again...
until this afternoon.

I must say that I really, really, really want an allegorical "Sleeping Beauty Conquers T-Rex" cake for my birthday. Aurora seems to symbolize the growing power of women to control their emotions. Or perhaps it's trying to tell us that there is strength in beauty.
At any rate, it touches something deep within me.

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

OMG! It's Cinderella, NOT Sleeping Beauty!! Damn, that cake is meaningless!

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

The Cinderella cake is awesome!

Putting the cookie on Oscar the Grouch's head instead of Cookie Monster's just adds to the confusion. And is the yellow one supposed to be Big Bird?

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Aside from the fact that my retinas are burning from the sheer volume of flotsam on most of those cakes, I am also keenly aware of the fact that my nerdiness is showing. Here's a flash of it...close your eyes if you're squeamish...

That "Darth Vader" cake looks like" rel="nofollow">The Beast from Krull.

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBakingdom

The second cake is all wrong! It should obviously say, "It a byo!" :D

Word verification is "hoing." Take it from there... ;)

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNYCGirl

1. I see ice cream cones and... bits of egg? Olives? Whatever they are, they do not belong on a cake.

2. Whadya wanna bet they misspelled the doctor's name, too?

3. Wouldn't be so bad if more of it were edible. But I don't want to think of nail polish when eating.

4. I've looked at this from several angles and still haven't the faintest idea what it's supposed to be.

5. This might be an obscure character or a lawyer-friendly imitation. Okay design, but still not an appetizing color.

6. Seeing this right after the SW reference, I thought the brown thing in the upper left might be a Jawa. Maybe the rest of the cake represents some little-remembered floating platform.

7. I think the baker has anger management issues.

8. There was a "Dinosaurs" episode with the story of Cinderellasaurus, but... hmm, maybe it is a dream come true.

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

Where is Snow White anyway? The world may never know.

Great post today, as usual!
I'm still wondering what that vaguely obscene "Oompla Loompa" cake is even supposed to be....

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Mocha Monster

I think the "Cinderella Taming T-REX" cake would have been awesome, if it hadn't been more plastic than cake!

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKittyKat

I actually kind of love the T-Rex and princess one.

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

crying laughing. :)

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlizzied

What is #4 supposed to be? Because... yeah. Is this where I'm supposed to flounce?

wv:menderpe -- I probably shouldn't come up with a definition for that.

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermimi

I am filled with sadness and horror. And a few chuckles...

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMira8

Lol at the freaky-ass cupcakes and not liking kids. They mustn't, right?

(I just used the word mustn't.. does ANYONE ever do that any more?)

And I'm with Elissa - used to love PS, but now it is just disturbing or unsettling. Just MHO.

LMAO! A Little People Noah is on the tower!!! I betcha it's full of lead.

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAngelina Krell

Are those Snow White's intestines strewn about artfully?
and @SuBee...AHAHAHAHA!

WV: conesing - the technique of adding random ice cream cones to a cake

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

Did anyone else notice that, on the four glaring heads picture, there is a sticker that says GLARE-FREE GLASS?? Irony? Yes, I think so.

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDebbie

Little known fact about Cookie Monster: NOT a fan of Oreos.

Angry Elmo says: Yeah, Elmo loves his Goldfish! His Crayon, too. Don't think Elmo won't cut you!

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Pardon my ignorance, but what is "Bettercreme"?

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMilk Maid

I am still pondering the 4th cake- 30 minutes later. Um,... No clue - nada - ziltch. I mean, I see what I think I see, but can't justify it in my receptors that female parts are really what they were meant to be. Anyone have ANY other POSSIBLE explanation for that cake? Anyone? My sanity may be on the line here....

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

BEST spelling of congratulations EVER!!! Just makes it that much richer that it was for a Doctor. The flowers were pretty, though.

And I must be really slow today because I didn't identify those four colorful blobs as Sesame Street characters. I'll blame the rain.

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlilpea

another vote for Cinderella riding a T Rex!

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnastasia

It is a shame that someone's intestines got spilled all over the CinderellaRex cake!

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

#3 - while cotton balls don't actually grow on vines, i admire their natural fiber content choice

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I laughed out loud at some of your commentary today. And the vaguely obscene one? You have a dirtier mind than I! I can't figure out WHAT it was supposed to be.

PS. I think you should be guest judges on Top Chef Just Desserts.

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

This was very fun! LOVE the Cinderella one!!!

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCandace

I'm surprised that there hasn't been any mention of the entrails on the Cinderella cake. Oh, wait! That's where Snow White is!

WV: nonis - Web blogs - nonis as good as Cake Wrecks!

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Non Glaring glass. I'm rolling here.

And the NC-18 cake, wow. Which STD caused all the dots?

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjengersnap

I have to say, I find the last cake hilarious, and not in the "OMG it's so awful it's funny!" way as with most of these cakes. If I wasn't skeptical about the cake to plastic ratio, I would totally be bothering my husband to get me one for my birthday.

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMomo

What I really love is the way it says "non-glare glass" right in front of all the glaring little heads!!!

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

*giggles* I guess monsters can't read since it does say non-glare glass!!!!

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIsabella

Cinderella + T-Rex = Frakin' Awesome!

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

The obscene cake reminds me of a Phillis Diller joke - I went to the doctor because I kept feeling a pain in my left boob. It ended up being my trick knee.

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

I'm so glad I'm not the only one that wants that Cinderella/T-rex cake! That, and I sorta wanna hang out with the decorator :)

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErica

To Milk Maid:

Bettercream contains no butter! It's made without cream!! It lasts forever and will never, ever go bad. It simply is better.

Also, you can use it to grout your bathroom tiles.

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

#6: I wasn't thinking dismembered muppet heads, I was thinking PacMan ghosts, and someone tried to give each one a distinct personality.

[The non-glare glass totally works--it's a very clear shot. But it's only for displaying food? Do they have problems with people cleaning food cases with sludge? Glass is one of the most impervious materials around--what KIND of 'cleaning' solution would damage it?!]

#7 What happened? Ariel's display-only cake is more-or-less appropriate, barring the Noah/Triton confusion and the fact that it's Primarily Plastic Parts. Were they attempting to depict lava flows? Volcanism and dinosaurs aren't exactly related, but it's a better connection than Renaissance princesses.

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjohn

I think the cookie is supposed to be the garbage can lid....but I may be reaching. The obscene cake boggles my mind, I can't figure it out!

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFamilyKolbaba

Just when I think you can't make me love you any more, you combine my weekly guilty pleasure with my daily one! Cake Wrecks *and* Post Secret? You just turned an in-law drama day into a B.A.D. day! <3

WV- Chotskin: The spotty condition plaguing the obscurely obscene cake.

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichele

I LOVE the last cake. I get so tired of watching female Disney characters wait around for a man to take charge and fix the situation. Now THAT's a Cinderella who is taking charge!

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

CONCRALLRTIONS? Seriously, is that the best stab you can take for CONGRATULATIONS?

#4 - My first reaction was like yours; indecent at best. After much consideration, I'm thinking maybe it is a comet and 2 shooting stars with more stars speckled in the background???

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow, what a fantastic collection of cakery gone wrong. Elmo's actually more pissed than oscar!! And why does big bird have m&m's on his head?
(To quote my husband: Is that all you got out of that?)

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHolly Denghel

The Cinderella cake was cool!! The "female parts" cake was gross~why BROWN? Don't they know we are ALL pink in the middle?!

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterprotojew62

I think they need to go to the Automatic Confessional!

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Thank God that last cake is "For Display Only"--the childhood nightmares it would cause!

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

If you read No.2 out loud, that's what you'd sound like if you'd been celebrating the birth and decided to order a speshul cellaboratory...celleborationary... wishes cake....

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

i too must profess my love for the cinderella t-rex cake minus the lava/entrails around it.
and i must say as some other commenters pointed out also enjoy the irony of the glaring ?cupcakes? in the non-glare glass.
the mystery cake will forever remain a mystery i think....maybe strawberries???

wv: snethie-wherever the wreckerator put snow white sure is snethie

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkmawesome

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