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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Dec072010

A Little Too Much Ginger, Perhaps

Some people collect stamps, or art cards, or limited edition laser-etched Animaniac propeller beanies*.

I collect photos of ridiculously decorated gingerbread men.

* Actually I'm just hoping this is true, because I'd love to see one.

I started when I realized a lot of bakeries sell gingerbread cookies year-round, and so try to decorate them to go with all the different holidays. Which gets, shall we say, a little silly:

Get me an old priest and a young priest...

Oh, and a glass of milk.


I'd look alarmed, too, if someone stole my torso and left my bloody limbs scattered around. [shudder]

And a personal favorite:

The guy on the right looks like he just had an alien chest-burster episode, only with a giant leprechaun.

Which, you must admit, is kind of awesome.

No, Mr. Scary Clown Man, actually, I do *not* want your sprinkles. Thank you.

BRING ME THE HEAD OF STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE!!

Then be a dear and glue it to a cookie, won't you?


Purrrrfect.

'Course, the best designs are usually the ones that ignore the "man" shape altogether:

Not exactly what I had in mind when I asked for "Catwoman."

Ok, this is getting ridiculous.

Really ridiculous.



No, really REALLY ridiculous.

Death by poodle.

(Also, $2.19 for that? Really?)

Not sure what these blue things are, but boy are they appetizing!


Bwhahahahaa!

Just kidding.

Still, I ask you: what's wrong with the time-honored, classic gingerbread man design?

[snicker]

Actually, this one is pretty awesome, too.

But this - THIS - on the other hand:

This must be stopped.

Think of the hippos.

L.G., Jas D., Ginger G. (yes, really. Heheh.), Leah O., Sean R., Lauren A., Kim, John D., M.L.W., & Eyal, thanks for contributing to my collection! Now I just need a Valentines' one. (Hint hint.)

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Reader Comments (132)

Ijf you think that $2.19 is expensive for a gingerbread...thingy..you've obviously never been in a Canadian bakery..even the chain stores are insanely expensive..
Gotta say that I loved the "challenged" gingerbread people..now that's makin' lemonade! Ashamed I didn't think of it, instead of just wolfing down all the broken ones...

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermizdarlin

I'm loving the tiger/tigger and Spiderman gingerbread men on the last one, partictularly tigger's expression. Also, those blonde 'girls' kind of look like Miss Piggy to me.

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The crocodile (or alligator I suppose)has a rather... interesting head shape, maybe we need to call in the flesh-coloured-fire-hose-department to deal with this threat

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRicebubbles

I believe the blue things are supposed to be jellyfish. That is the only thing that would make sense, right? Funny wrecks!

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

Anyone else have fond memories of the head-changing femme fatale from "Return to Oz" thanks to that Strawberry Shortcake cookie?

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Why on earth would you put a red crab (or poodle, or spidey face, or anything else, etc.) on a gingerbread cookie? That's just weird. Although the cat is kinda cute.
Love the pan with the homage to Calvin and Hobbes!

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarnie

omg a clown with nipples....

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCutelilsnot

LOL! Along the lines of the "maimed" gingerbred cookie cutters, the Mutter Museum sells a "Conjoined Cookie Man" cutter. Of course I had to have it, because what fun is life without Addams Family cookie men???

(BTW... Am I the only person that has problems with the verification words? I have to submit 2x's because the first time, the text box does not appear on screen...)

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterladypyrate

I do like the "wounded" gingerbread men. Great way to prevent waste.

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnneke (Mudhooks)

these are hil-AR-ious! Lovin' the alligator!

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJKS

That one gingerbread man DEFINITELY reminds me of http://i51.tinypic.com/1zx88b9.jpg" rel="nofollow">THIST amazing piece of internet.

And if that's what the decorator was going for, then I will place all my bakery orders with that person for the rest of forever.

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

Now I need to add fear of Gingerbread man/things to my list right underneath Stephen King's IT clown.. nothing can scare me more than those lol.

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

I am 46 yo and have always scoffed at those of you who find clowns to be terrifying beings. I will scoff no more, I am one with you now. Thanks for that, Wreckerators

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think the "blue things" are supposed to be octopi.

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Death by poodle is the best description ever. Genius.

But is it only in the UK then that gingerbread men have no link with Christmas? We just have them all year - and whole families too. Yet to see maimed gingerbread children though!!!

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I must admit that the Death by Poodle is pretty awesome. I have a "small" dog (she's 26 pounds at last check!) who thinks that if you are lying down on the couch you must be dying. Her method of doggie CPR is to sit on your chest and lick your face until you tell her to get away. Personally, I think the cookie is just trying to show doggie CPR. It's an educational tool.

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIsabella

Wow. I had no idea gingerbread was an all-year thing. Where is this the case? Haha!

That second to last one.. I'm actually kind of impressed by how realistic the teeth are.

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Um, what??? A gingerbread PERSON is to be a gingerbread PERSON! You don't have to use the gingerbread man cookie cutter just because you are making gingerbread! Yikes.

WV: opreph: These cookies belong on opreph's favorite things episode!

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTara

On the one with the red goldfish shaking her pink tail feath..., well, fins, I do think it's appropriate that the baker would cover the gingerbread man's private areas with some leaves. I really appreciated it.

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterhilaryarlene

That Mr. Scary Clown Man is looking a bit... uh... nipply!

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterABB

Ah, someone mentioned Calvin & Hobbes for the "medical ward" tray - I see where you're going there! Too bad they didn't use red icing, though. *smack smack - what are you saying????*

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

These are all, for the most part, horrific, yet, I'd eat any of them. Now that the season of gingerbread men is upon us, I CAN'T FIND ANY ANYWHERE! I want that gingery goodness so badly...even a wreck would do. <:(

WV:Ovenn "Pop some gingerbread men out of the ovenn give 'em to me!"

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth Douglas

I'm sorry, but some of those look like they are trying to breed! YUCK!

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdesignz

My husband pointed out that it is death by a 6 legged poodle.....bahahahahaha

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMeagan

If you snicker at maimed gingerbread cookies, you should read Jasper Fforde's The Fourth Bear: http://www.overstock.com/Books-Movies-Music-Games/The-Fourth-Bear/2225302/product.html
-Voula

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Check out these ginderbread men
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oulQwIP9VQQ

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Okay, now I know what cookies my little monsters and I are making next year for Halloween! I absolutely ADORE the ones with the body parts missing and blood spatter! (Of course, I frequently refer to my 6-year-old girl as a cross between Princess Barbie and Wednesday Addams, so you can understand what it's like around my house. ;)

December 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIroshi

Good lord, what is WRONG with bakeries that think those are a-okay?! The one with the poodle on it looks like a dead body. And another... well, it had crabs.

And they SELL these to people?

December 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Is it just me, or is that fish one borderline risqué?

December 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStephenie Daily

What's up with those blondies in the last photo? They have beards!

December 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCat

I once worked at a bakery ( was front end... never handled a cookie but to put in a bag) that was downstairs from a dojo (martial arts studio)and we used to make "karate-kid cookies;" gingerbread men, painted white, with happy faces and colored belts. Yeah... I don't work there anymore.

December 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPip

Those look like teeth! :(:(:(:(:( (weep gagging forever.)

December 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJessie Crow

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