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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The Literal Letter of the Law

On the plus side, at least we know these bakeries are taking notes.

Aw, nuts.

Ok, so they have no idea what the notes mean, but they are taking them.

"Bring it in the a.m."

Heh. And I thought *I* wasn't a morning person.

Ah, the mind of a Wreckerator.

"It's a good thing they're buying a big sheet cake; otherwise there's no way this would all fit!"

(Note: those clover-looking things in "40th" are supposed to be hearts.)

Michele K., Sandy S., & Laurisa R., you know what these Wrecks need? More candles. Srsly. Step it up, ladies.

- Related Wreckage: The Problem with Phone Orders

« It's In There | Main | Wrecking By the Book »

Reader Comments (120)

I just don't understand how they don't realize what they're doing!

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

I'm such a child. I can't stop laughing at the fact that someone named "Peter" has a "Nuts Allergy." How unfortunately ironic.

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor

* sigh * * shakes head *

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKashmir

You have GOT to be kidding me. Are people REALLY this stupid? How much common sense does it take to fill one of these orders? If someone's not sure that something should be on a cake, wouldn't you at least CALL the client to ask?! Jeesh! Sometimes I just want to grab these bakers' shoulders and shake them until their (dried-up) brains rattle.

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFredjonesiii

I'm unreasonably amused by the fact that the first cake is an obvious rip-off of the "Thomas" design from yesterday's wrecks.

It also reminds me of when I started my current job, and was sent out of town for a week of training. The same intern who had been in charge of travel arrangements made a name-and-address directory of everybody in the program, including the new people. On the directory that was printed out and distributed to everybody, next to my name was, "Non-smoking room- allergic to cigarette smoke."
Just in case any of my co-workers want to invite me for a sleep-over, I guess.

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

The horrible thing about the "nuts allergy" cake is their complete incomprehension of what to do about it, meaning the cake is most likely NOT nut-safe despite the fact that it was specified on the order form.

I certainly wouldn't feed that cake to a nut-allergic child after seeing those words printed on it.

Yes, it's funny that they wrote it, but not so funny if the kid anaphylaxes because of a cakewreck

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPhilangelus

bAH! i just fell out of my chair

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe 'splorin' Wolfies

ok so to me cake #2 looks like it says "Bang it in the morning"....which leads us down an entirely different path altogether...

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I sincerely hope that the "bakers" that piped these cakes don't speak English very well (or at all!) and were just copying letter for letter what the instruction sheet said.
That's the only plausible excuse I can think of.
Otherwise....well they do say stupidity knows know bounds. Or indifference, as the case may be.

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterOne Girl in All The World

Don't you think you should have a basic understanding of syntax and the English language before you can be allowed to write on a cake?!

Shameful! And hysterical!!!

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterViewtiful_Justin

LOL These are my all time favorite type of blunders I just laughed really loud and randomly in frount of the customer at my desk :)

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLauren Borquez

Our friend was in charge of ordering a beautiful, engraved vase for a retiring boss. It was a large silver vase. They engraved it. The last line of the engraving said "and for any questions about this order call Mikki at 555-1234" WHAT are they thinking?!

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAl, Wendy, Max, and Lil

Jen. I'm positive new submissions have been corrupted. I'm sure that most bakeries across the country have started posting your best work in their break room and decide to let a couple of intentional wrecks slip juuuust in case they end up on your site. I bet somewhere there's a Safeway decorator patting herself on the back right now for "Bring it in the a.m."

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatjaMouse

Apparently 40th can NOT have a <3 as an "0" ...

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBaker's Cakes

You know, even though the wording on the first cake is abominable, the rest of the cake is really well done! It makes me think of what yesterday's cakes should have (mostly) looked like!

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

The second and third cakes look like they were done by the same person; great job with the pathetically sparse streamers and sprinkles! At least other than the lettering, the first one was pretty decent.

In other news, even if the people decorating don't read English that well, wouldn't their bosses know that and... oh, never mind, obviously I am using waaaaaay too much actual thought here.

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTheUnlikelyTriathlete

I don't know which of these hurts my head more :(

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterksaldria

Um- am I the only one who though it said "Bang" it in the am? Nice, very nice.....

wv: trifu- I would much rather have a trifu than any one of these wrecks!

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWendyMom

I don't see the 'i' dotted in the word 'bring'. Is it 'bring'? Or 'bang'? Maybe...maybe it is a note of encouragement for Mike to do well at something the next day? "Good luck in that race tomorrow, bang it in the am!"

Or...maybe the jeep cake is a reminder note? "Bang it [the jeep] in the morning, preferably with a baseball bat, and turn the key gently three times to the left while the wheels are turned all the way to the right or it won't start." ?

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSwan

CLASSIC CAKE WRECKS!!! These should make it into your next book.

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterYogaGal in the NW

Well, at least they got one of the 40ths right on that last know what they say, 3rd times the charm.

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

WTF, people. Are they sleepwalking?

Also, it looks like Cake 2 says "Bang it in the A.M."


February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

You just can't fix stupid (which is probably a good thing; just think of all the wrecks we'd be missing if you could!). The "Thomas" wreckie from yesterday needs to meet today's "Thomas" wreckie to see how it's done. Sort of.

WV:avedea - Do any of these people avedea as to what they wrote?

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That first one is really a shame... it was SO CLOSE to actually being a very lovely cake!!

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennie


February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVeggieT

I've been reading this blog for a few months now, but this is the first time I've posted.

I just have a hard time believing that there are this many stupid people in the world. It makes me a little sad to think about it. So, instead I think I'll go eat a piece of cake to make myself feel better.

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmelia and Justin

[shaking head] These 'literal' wrecks never cease to amaze me. How can anyone NOT pay any attention to what they are reading/writing on a cake??

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSheila Bennett

I'm just wondering if the ones who take the orders, and the ones who actually decorate the cakes are different people? and to further this idea I'm also wondering if the ones taking the order understand English, and the ones decorating the cakes only pretend to understand English, thus causing them to simply copy down everything that was written. Just wonderin'

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVeggieT

Are you kidding me?? How could they not know what not to put on the cake? That is just ridiculous.

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlbatross

This made me laugh out loud!!! Who ARE these people?!

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterScarlett

Am I the only mom who thinks if my kid had a nut allergy...I wouldn't buy ANY storebought cake. The tiniest trace of nut or oil can cause a reaction. Seriously mom...making a cake at home...way less time than an ER visit...or worse....

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCottagecheap

I must say that, with the exception of the added "nuts allergy", the thomas the tank engine cake is fantastically executed...especially considering the wreck in the prior article! The penmanship is nice too! C'mon, give them some credit!

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Way to rub it in that he is 40 by mentioning it 3 times on his cake...

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLeftWingLock

Yeah, they seem stupid, but for all the baker knew, it was an inside joke. I have put seemingly nonsensical phrases on cakes in the past for jokes that only the people getting the cake would get.

I honestly blame the people who put in the order. The order form usually says 'PUT EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT THE CAKE TO SAY'. Obviously they're not following that one simple rule.

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

I want a t-shirt with that last cake on it.

...Despite the fact I don't know how it would fit. Maybe happy 40th on the front, and the back?

You're right, it's a good thing the customer wanted a sheet cake for all of that text!

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSparky

Baker 1 "Oh this Thomas cake is done? Looks good, now we just need to do the lettering."
Baker 2 "Yeah here's the order slip. It says **NUT ALLERGY** really big, underlined with asterisks. You think they want that on the cake, so they can identify it?"
Baker 1 "I dare ya."

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRobin

my brain hurts....

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous


February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Wow, some crazy things going on right here. I sincerely hope they don't charge extra for all of the words they have to pipe on.

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

Is that dude posing with a bed of nails?

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterwundermary

I just ordered the Cake Wreck book - CANNOT WAIT! I love checking the blog each day to see what giggles I can get!

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSara MK

Another vote here for the idea that the people who wrote these don't speak English. There is no way you could write all of that in ICEING and not notice it.

And yes, job well done on cake number one. Even if the kid with nut allergies won't be eating it. :)

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaty

I love that on the last CW, the directions illustrate what they wanted, but in the actual inscription, they didn't execute properly.

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

ps- i'm with anonymous who thought the tractor cake said, "Bang it in the a.m." Whee!

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

writing on the SIDE of the cake. that's creative. *ahem*

Blue mud on the tires? how did that happen? messy messy. maybe it'c icing.

I wonder if they made the first cake nut free or just made a note of it? I'll have to warn my sister-in-law....her son has a nut allergy.

I could just see some idiot wreckerator doing this to my sister. she'd need a gluten (wheat) free cake. And I bet it would have a note, but still be made of flour so my niece couldn't eat it.

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I am just amazed that there are this many wrecks out there! Don't people think?!?!?!

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle S

wv: diter
these cake samples should diter anyone from ordering a cake from these wreckerators.

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

lol @ Taylor--good point! would that make the Peter with the nuts allergy uncomfortable or what? maybe it's a case for a eunuch.

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Anon: "ok so to me cake #2 looks like it says "Bang it in the morning"....which leads us down an entirely different path altogether..."

you just gave me an image from the American Pie movie. and the boy, and the pie... *shudder*

I wonder if it has a custard and banana filling? *smirk*

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

So, I submitted the 40th bday cake at the bottom (not sure who Larissa is).

Yes, it's a bed of nails. George the Giant, sideshow performer at your service. :)

His wife didn't fill out the form wrong, she wrote the directions in the "INSTRUCTIONS" box, along with the directive to have the photo cover the top of the cake. They actually shrunk an 8x10 down to 5x7. No idea where they got that from.

Brought to you by Costco.

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

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