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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Feb252010

World's Worst Pictionary Players

Seriously - don't let any of these Wreckerators on your team.

On the one hand, I know this is probably supposed to be a car.

On the other hand... are you frickin' kidding me?


You know that control panel on Darth Vader's chest plate - the thing with all the boxes and lights? Yeah, that. Well, imagine that mashed up with a guitar, only they're both made out of balloons. Or maybe jelly beans. Got it? Can you see it? Good.

Now, tell me...does the thing you're imagining...look something like this?

Yes? No?
A-hah! Dang, I'm good.


Ok, here's where things get interesting: Go grab your friends/co-workers/family members, and see who can correctly identify these objects the fastest (if at all). Answers are at the bottom.

Ready?

And...

Go!




Time's up!

How'd you do? Here are your answers:

1) A hand mixer. Or possibly a hair dryer. But probably a hand mixer.

2) Ballet slippers

3) A helicopter

4) I have no idea. Really. Your guess is as good as mine. (Ugly little bugger, though, isn't it?)

Heather E., Anne D., Lisa O., Leah C., Tessa, & Jenny, if you're lucky enough to live near Austin, Texas, you simply MUST go to the That Takes The Cake show this weekend. Their theme this year is Science Fiction & Fantasy, people. I hear someone is making a gumpaste Zaphod Beeblebrox. I mean, come ON. Could that BE any cooler?

- Related Wreckage: Cue Cards, Please?

« Clean-Up on Aisle 12 | Main | It's In There »

Reader Comments (340)

A helicopter?! Really?

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShelley Dayton

A few people have said the fourth cake is the Mystery Machine... found this pic of a nice Mystery Machine cake. http://www.flickr.com/photos/31244108@N07/3446585585/

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHill

I dunno; that cookie cake 'guitar' looks to me like Zombie Pac-man crawling out of a bathroom stall (made of balloons?) with t.p. stuck where the sun don't shine. O.o

WV: gorit. Onomatopeia for vomiting a little in one's mouth. "Why is there a flaming spatula on a gray poo swirl?" *gorit*

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAndie

4 is a bug, the black thing is the steering wheel.

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My guesses to those crazy wrecks were 1. Either a hand dryer or a mixer, 2. A horribly disfigured piranha 3. Someone trying to claw their way out of a block of cement with a fork, and 4. Someone on an acid trip decorating a cake of unknown origins.

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

Where is your olympic spirit #3 is obviously that big stupid rick they shove out during curling... on the bumpiest ice rink ever.

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I got the hand mixer; I thought the ballet slippers were a pink fish; the closest to a guess I came up with on the helicopter was that it was a backward Navy issued lollypop (the Navy is partial to grey); and the last one ... well I decided it must be a newly designed Toyota.

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDJ

I WANT TO SEE ZAPHOD!

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterACBatz

1. A hand mixer
2. Lips
3. A dinghy with an oar
4. a VW bug

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLeah

Ballet slippers? Get out! If anything I suppose they could pass for effeminate leprechaun shoes?

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSam

#4 Has to be The Mystery Machine!

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRosemma

I thought number 3 was a flat volcano XD

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

A hand mixer! Awesome, I rock! Ballet slippers, cool, nothing can beat me! That's--!

...aw, crud.

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor

Sheri said...
1)mixer or a hair dryer
2) bustier for Madonna
3) no idea really but it does look exactly like a metal detector now that someone else has mentioned it.
4)VW bug from the 60's.
I am kinda scared that I am beginning to understand CCC's!

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSheri

for the last one, I was going to guess the scooby mobile...

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPattiH05k

Thanks for the info about the show in Austin--I'm totally going to that. It looks super cool!

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

I thought the first one was a mailbox. The second looks like the Barbie version of a tribal mask. The third looks like a graduation cap. The fourth could have something to do with being high..

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNatalie

I thought:

1. Cannon
2. Weird lips
3. A shovel on a pile of poo (to clean it up, naturally, though why anyone would want to celebrate such with a cake . . .)
4. Some kind of car (*what* kind, I have no idea)

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJasini

I think 4)is a flower.

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPie

1) Hand mixer
2) Fish - though now I can sort of see the slippers. At least, I can see all the ribbons to tie them on with. In retrospect, the word "DANCE" should have been a clue...
3) Shovel and bucket, bird's eye view - like for making a sandcastle. Either that, or someone's trying to clean up poo from someone with serious liver or gall bladder disease. I still don't see the helicopter.
4) Road-kill turtle or psychadelic compost pile.

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterQatie

I think the last one is a police car in the rain. The black thing on the side is his spotlight and the black V shape is a windshield wiper. His town is on a budget and could only afford one wiper.

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteraddhumorandfaith

I got the first two, but I definitely thought the third was a turntable! Like for sure. Still can't see the helicopter.

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFat Bottom Bakery

I got the hand mixer, but I guessed Butterfly, Snail, & Gay Raccoon with yellow shades for the other ones.

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSabrina

I think the last one looks like a Cinderella carriage? Maybe?

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

come on 4 is obviously a shag-waggon.

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

#4 is definitely a turtle. Can't you tell that the black cupcakes are a head and 2 legs?

That's my guess anyway...

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Reading everyone's guesses is as entertaining as this post! I guess getting the hand mixer right wasn't much of an accomplishment. My other guesses:

2. Sideways tulip head (although I'm glad to see pink football came to other peoples' minds as well).

3. I got banjo (you have to want to see it). Curling rock was my favourite guess on that one.

4. I saw the Magic School Bus, which I guess shows my age difference from all the 'Mystery Machine' guesses, haha.

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterACM

The red part of the guitar looks like Mojojojo's head to me. >.>

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJen

1. Sewing machine
2. Lips
3. The moon
4. car?

-Julie

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

After reading all the comments, I went back to see if they helped identify these wrecks. Not so much. I thought #1 was a mixer, but I'm less sure now - maybe Jodee or Ian will let us know (did they graduate from barber school or cooking school). #2 looks like anything but ballet shoes - I thought pink football but now will go with Ms. Pacman. #3 I thought was an oar on gray icing, and I don't see helicopter. Put in a call to Whole Foods which I realized wrecked this only when I enlarged the photo. #4 I'm sure is a vehicle. Go back and enlarge it, close one eye, and squint with the other. It's a hippy ambulance with a light on top. Tricia

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm gonna go with #4 being...an owl.
Face only of course.

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterpersephone

That first wreck... It's not a car... It's a metastasizing tumor on wheels... O_O

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

I guessed: 1.) a mixer thing! Yessssssss
2.) A heart
3.) a very disproportionate baseball bat and ball
4.) I forget... haha

seriously, though, I am soooooooooooo not seeing the helicopter.

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTova

My mom says that the last one is a psychedelic police punch buggy.

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAngela (lala)

I *think* the fourth one is what the Mystery machine looks like when Shaggy sees it coming straight towards him after one too many "Scooby Snax"..... Since we all know that Scooby Snax have some very interesting, illegal probably even in Amsterdam type ingredients....

February 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJubilee

I got the helicopter!!!
didnt do so well on the others

February 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

obviously the "helicopter" is actually a curling stone. DUH! Olympics-theme-week. At least, it looks FAR more like a curling stone than a helicopter. wha?

February 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterthecarie

Okay, slightly out of order here, but my guesses were :
1)statue to the electric egg beater
2)pair of lips after the dog gets at it
4)Hippie-mobile

But the third one actually isn't a wreck, ya know ;p . It is an illustration of what it would be like to be up s**t creek WITH a paddle!

February 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDarlene

The last one is a pixelated nude Marge Simpson on a flowery sofa on wheels.

February 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlana Skye

Thought I would revisit these wrecks with a clear head this morning. If you enlarge the mixer/hair dryer cake and read the computer's name for it, you will find that it is for a bridal shower. Yeah. That clears it up. Tricia

February 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

1) a hand mixer, but why is it covered in poop brown polka dots? batter doesn't splatter so evenly... those beaters are sad, too.

2)I have no idea. a pink finless fish? or a girlie football that someone took a bite out of? i don't see ballet slippers AT ALL. good thing they wrote "Dance"--like that will help. I didn't even notice until you gave the answer.

3) is SO not a helicopter! it's a gray "white picnic cake." my guess is that the swirly gray icing is water (supposed to be blue) and the round thing is a raft and the red thing is an oar, for a whitewater rafting enthusiast. or someone who just lost their boat. I'm not feeling too creative to figure out the rest of the possibilities today.

4) with the swirly colors and flowers--is Scooby Doo's Magic Mystery Machine. obviously.

btw, nice taxi. love how lumpy it is and how the wheels are in the CENTER of the car. how does it balance?

wv: fliess--what these cakes need to be PERFECT.

February 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

No way... #2 is DEFINITELY the Audrey II!

February 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMich

A helicopter? Wow. I got m-a-y-b-e a sand shovel & pail...and that's ONLY because the label says "picnic cake" on it. lol Those are some real wrecks today! hehe

February 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPotsyinAz

1. hand mixer

2. corset

3. my hubby says it looks like poop creek, but WITH a paddle - lol

4. we really do need random drug testing for bakery workers...

February 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

Here's a whole BUNCH of great Mystery Machine cakes-- and I want one!

http://www.flickr.com/search/?q=mystery%20machine%20cake&w=all

February 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

A gray poo-copter? Was that necessary? :) --Samantha

February 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I guessed: 1) hand mixer/egg beater/etc, 2) a fish, 3) a curling stone, and 4) a sheep - perhaps a hippie sheep, or a graffiti sheep. Eh.

February 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMerenwen

OK, the first one was easy, just never seen a polka dotted hand mixer before. The second one I got cause I tilted my head and could read the word dance on the board. Not exactly sure HOW you get helicopter from #3 as I thought it was possibly a frying pan with a spatula or a banjo. My best guess on #4 is some sort of hippy-ized turtle?

February 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJo-Momma

wait, is that a helicopter landing on a raft in the ocean? with propellers spinning so fast we can't see them? or are we looking UNDER the helicopter and that swirly circle is the propellers and the swirly gray stuff is the sky. huh.

oh, and that guitar is most definitely inspired by Dr. Seuss with those colors and curves

February 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

why is there a blue cupcake on top of the mystery machine? did they upgrade an ambulance or something? is that a siren or light?

and that mixer cake,er, cookie cake? (those look like vanilla wafers stuck on it. wtf?) what are we wishing them luck for? baking a cake? taking a pastry class? entering a baking competition (which the baker wouldn't qualify for)? hosting a bake sale?

what a pg-rated 1950's design if that's intended for a wedding. or a weeding.a mixer? at least make it a kitchenaid. lingerie for some, phallic symbols for others. but NO. old-fashioned kitchen tools to remind the poor girl of her expected culinary servitude.

they should have used an old fashioned hand-crank egg beater! (which could not be mistaken for an elephant with the pox)

February 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

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