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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Nov202009

Cue Cards, Please?

Last week we looked at cakes that took labeling a bit too far. Today, let's look at the other side of the coin: when cakes really need to give us that hint.

See, once you read the text, and figure out that this has something to do with some sort of ski, it suddenly all makes sense! (Sort of.)

[smacking forehead] Oh, of course! It's TNT! How could I have missed that?

Now, if you're going to give us hints, Wreckerators, it helps if they're at least somewhat legible:

Do you KNOW how long I squinted at this thing, trying to figure out why there were black jellyfish on it? Well, do you?!?

(No, I am not going to tell you what it is. I squinted hard for that knowledge, peeps.)


It also helps if the hints are spelled correctly:

So, we've got a fat anthropomorphic top lip with arms, and it says "Gone Crabiy." Oh kaaaay.
(Well, I guess the word "crab" IS in there...)

Then there are the more cryptic hints:

"Cakes" like this (and I say "cakes" because, as you all know, cupcake cakes are NOT real cakes) can help us brush up on our deductive reasoning skills. Observe:

1. There is a number on the shape, and the cake board reads "Win! Win!"
2. Numbers and winning are often associated with sports.
3. Therefore, the "cake" is a stretched out, radioactive uterus.

Meg, Paula B., Robbie, Kaycee M., & Julie M., with that 8 on there the temptation to make some kind of OctoMom crack is rather strong - but I resisted, just for you.

You're welcome.

- Related Wreckage: Say What?

« Because We Need More Holidays | Main | Batter UP! »

Reader Comments (179)

If you rotate it 90° The Jelly fish say "RIP" right? And those are...bats?

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterrandomstuff

Curse you, Jen. THe last wreck has me entranced. I spent several minutes staring at it, trying to figure out what it was. now I think my retinas have burned out.

TNT, really? And I"m sorry, I just don't see anything ski related in the first wreck. How appropriate everything seems to be a CCC *ptui*

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

For the last one, based on the number and colors, I can tell it has something to do with Cal Ripkin, but other than that...I have no clue.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterArbolita

This is the funniest blog I have ever seen. I spent all day yesterday reading from begining to end. It sounds like a cliche but I never laughed so hard in my life.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe 'splorin' Wolfies

I'm done squinting and I think I know what it is .

The last cake looks like a uterus

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMella

The cookie "cake" says GRAVEYARD, right? I figured it out once I saw that one of the jellyfish has an RIP on it. So, it's a jellyfish graveyard...? Poor jellies.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShasta

"Graveyard." The black jellyfish cake is supposed to be a graveyard. Unbelievable.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHarrod

I have too many questions for the 3rd one - I figured out what is was supposed to be, but still... why???

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda M.

Graveyard... I think those are tombstones not black jellyfish... still awful.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDani

I'm dumbfounded. Ok, I give in: what ARE those black jellyfish?

wv: explame
can someone please explame these cakes to me?

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHelena Handcart

Heh, took me a minute with the "black jellyfish" one until I realized it was sideways.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Totally tracking with you on the last one...even before I saw your excellent hints, I thought, "Huh! How about that? A CCC to celebrate getting an IUD."

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

Okay...um...the first one is some kind of water ski thing, but I worked at a summer camp where I saw pretty much every kind of water-and-thing-that-floats sport and I didn't see that.

Is the TNT supposed to be exploding, or serving rounded-edge crinkle-cut fries? Because it kind of looks like Frylock with his hair in rollers.

The next one says Graveyard and then has lots of RIPs, but yeah, I concur with the jellyfish theory anyway.

I suppose the next is "Gone Crabbing" which, based on the non-crab-like figure, makes me itchy. Eww.

And for the last, maybe I've already lived in Austin too long, but I fear that might be supposed to be some kind of Longhorns thing?

Geez it's first thing in the morning and my brain is already sore...

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

they could have at least iced the jellyfish/gravestones the right way up if they were going to make the hint so illegible...

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteryasmin

the one you squinted at forever is a graveyard and the jellyfish say RIP....weirdest gravestones i've ever seen LOLcla

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered Commentergeenalyn

I think first one could be a boat...a boat that ran ashore a few too many times. And I squinted at the second one for awhile, then I clicked on it, and the writing became more clear, but the reason for decorating that cookie that way didn't.

wv-cautesp- the way to ask for ketchup in a French restaurant: "May I have some cautesp for my pommes de terre frites?"

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfrigglesnitz

If you look at the last one a certain way, it looks like Sideshow Bob. The "8" is the nose and mouth, the two cupcakes above the "8" are the eyes, and the "horns" are the dredlocks.

It takes a lot of squinting, but it's there.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor@myolderbrothers

The first one does actually look like what it's supposed to be once you realize that the ski in this one is a jet ski. Still not the best art in the world, but it's passably ok.

~Kristine

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKristine

Ja I'm gonna have to go with UT Longhorns on that last one.

The TNT one worries me for some strange reason

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter~me

I could read "Graveyard" fairly easily, but seriously... Graveyard?

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCaitlin

Did anybody else see that angry red swatch on the first cake and read "Skin Graft 09"?

Just me? O_o

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPariah

Is the last one maybe a clown--let's say Ronald McDonald-- burning in a flash fire? Does "Win, Win" mean, "Oh, the humanity?"

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It sure helps to enlarge the jellyfish cake. Thanks for not spoiling it Jen.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeserlee

that last one TOTALLY looks like a uterus...

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The cookie cake somehow says Graveyard.....The jellyfish got in the way. The last cake looks like it could be comprised of two major portions of both the male and female reproductive systems...my retinas are now smarting from trying to determine what it was "supposed to be".

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKassia

I'm really hoping that the black jellyfish were NOT an homage to Neil Gaiman's excellent "Graveyard Book."

Orange + 8 = Cal Ripken here in Bird-land. but still have no idea why the "cake" has that shape.

Thanks for a new family entertainment: reading Cake Wrecks!

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterk-10b

I've actually been looking for jellyfish on a cake-- that's been my vote for the thing I would least want to see!

Extra points for icing all the way around, looking like it really is made from seafood.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJimmy

I think the jellyfish are supposed to be ghosts rising out from the RIP tombstones. Why "Graveyard" is written sideways, I don't know.

The TNT looks like a box of exploding popcorn to me.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHSMom

I think the first one is a boat, or maybe a jetski...The TNT one looks like a bad basketball net with tennis balls being thrown in, and then there's the inexplicable jellyfish graveyard. I wonder if Dory knows her Squishy may be dead?

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

At first, I thought the crab one was a taco. Guess it's a fish taco.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I did figure out the Graveyard and RIP thing. Really liked Shasta's comment...a jellyfish graveyard. (Pssst..don't tell Spongebob.)

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLindalou

I figured out the "cookie cake." There is a tombstone with RIP on it. The jellyfish are ghosts, and the written on the roadway is the word, "Graveyard."

Am I right, am I right???!!!??

What do I get...a cookie?

No thanks.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterReceptionist Row

The crabbing thing makes me think anthropomorphic taco with arms, or Betty Boop...

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

Every time I went to the beach with my cousins while growing up, there was always an inordinate number of yucky dead jelly fish. Graveyard, indeed!

Thanks for the laugh!

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterOh, Mandy

so i think the uterus is supposed to be a trophy - you know, like a large gold cup? poorly done, but i can barely make it out.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I believe the first Wreck is supposed to be a Wake Boarding tow boat- Wake board tow ropes are attached like 6 to 8 feet in the air to a superstructure on the boat to keep the rope up and out of the way of all the flips and spins they do.

I am so clueless about the '8' cake.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The glaring orange uterus wouldn't be for University of Tennessee, would it? I know we've seen this confusion with the University of Texas, but that orange looks more like that of the Volunteers than the Longhorns. (Yes, it's sad that I could begin to distinguish between these...)
I don't want to know what's in that orange frosting to make it that orange, though.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

LOL! ok. ahem.
#1: Jetski. obviously. *eyeroll* (whispers: "good thing they put the word 'ski' on it so we could figure out the shoe rocket was splashing through water and then figure it out!" otherwise it was a red shoe splashing in a puddle. celebrating rainy days? Or would those be blue flames? Then I don't know.)

#2: (guessing) Um, popcorn spilling out of the tub. mini-yellow basketballs trying to make a basket? crumpled up wads of paper being tossed in a trash basket by someone with writer's block? I still don't see TNT as much of a hint. Maybe they misspelled "tint" which was an instruction for making red icing (which apparently didn't work very well either with that hue.) Maybe the TNT was for the Turner cable network and it IS supposed to be popcorn!

Ok. I need a break. 3-5 to follow

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjoanne

I *had* to go back and look at the last one to see if I could find Sideshow Bob...and I did...now I'm even more scared of that "cake"...

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeftWingLock

Is it possible the last one is supposed to be a jersey? Without other people's comments about Cal Ripkin, I never would have guessed that.

I laughed for five minutes at the commentary for that one. Because, yeah, that was pretty much my first impression, too.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElissa

Tennis balls flying out of a basketball net, which was at the last minute made into a trash can? Because it turns out that it's really hard to make a basketball net?

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJoe

I gotta say, I think the last one is the UT (Texas, not TN) "Hookem' Horns". It could be UT (TN) power "T", but I don't think so...

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Looking at that last cake was a little bit like staring into light bulbs.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Black jelly fish? Naw.
I see tiny Taj Mahal replicas, in black and white.
Must be colorblind wreckerators.

mocking

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The TNT one looks like some sort of popcorn tentacle monster reaching out from a popcorn bucket. Scary

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

Ok, for the last one I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be a Kyle Orton cake. He's the quarterback for the Denver Broncos, who wear orange and dark blue (the trim on the outside of the cake looks purple/blue). Against all logic, and as a Bears fan it pains me to say this, the Broncos have actually been doing a lot more of the "Win! Win!" with our castoff QB than anyone might have expected. Sigh.

Horrible "cake", though.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPete

I'm thinking the last one is for the University of TN.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

the ski is a boat right? on water with a beach ball randomly behind it. The last one I believe is "Hunger" from those commercials. The adorable little tempting orange fuzz ball. Tell us the black jelly fish one! i cant figure it out!

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You must really have an eye to find the jellyfish in there.
and I thought the cupcake "cake" stood for t-ball? it's in the shape of a t? and they're little balls? get it?

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNatballs

Why oh why does the jellyfish graveyard have a fancy pink border? My brain hurts.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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