My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Because We Need More Holidays

It's been SO LONG since Halloween, and Thanksgiving isn't 'til Thursday, so what's a bakery to do?

Invent a holiday that goes in-between, of course! So...

Merry Hallowgiving!

Yep, for this fun holiday, vampire pilgrims will chase you through jellyfish graveyards and attempt to force-feed you turkey.*

And after THAT, we'll have Thankmas:

...during which we'll all desperately try to avoid actually using the term "Thankmas" for fear of offending someone, and poo tornadoes will emblazon every hearth. Aww. Don't you just love the holidays winter?

Kate F., & Nikki B., I think "winter, underlined" is going to be my holiday greeting of choice this year. Care to start a trend with me?

- Related Wreckage: The cake that has "winter" underlined on it.

*For some reason I initially had "turkey" capitalized. When I proof-read it later, I wondered why (not to mention how) a zombie pilgrim would try to force-feed someone a Mediterranean country. Which made me snort. Loudly. I even considered leaving it. But we all know what would happen then, right? EPCOT. Yeeeah.

« Sunday Sweets: When Geeks Marry | Main | Cue Cards, Please? »

Reader Comments (82)

I think I'm going to start saying "Epcot" instead of "Epic," because 1) I'm tired of people saying "Epic," and 2) "Epcot" certainly was epic.

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNikkiK

poo tornados.

ahahahahahah *choke gasp*


November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle S.

Ha! I love the poop tornadoes with M&Ms!

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeighton G.

Those squiggly things look more like what may have been going on in the decorator's brain.

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDecadent Housewife

And the first cake looks sort of like Bart Simpson's visage on the back of a plucked turkey.

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDecadent Housewife

I don't think the "Happy Holidays" cake is a matter of PC so much as it is the baker wanted to cash in on two holidays.

"See, boss, they kinda look like cornucopias AND Christmas stockings! Really ugly brown Christmas stockings, but still stockings! If nobody wants to buy it for Thanksgiving, we got Christmas covered!"

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The bottom cake has little poo monsters on it. Like something the muppets would create.

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi D

The second one looks like worms!

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNads' Bakery

That's one way to use up old stock cakes.

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfranbear

The cute little dots next to the poo tornadoes really does it for me!

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

The first one shows what happens when the Keebler Elf takes up smoking. {Sinister, isn't it?)
wv-puram He should have kept his lungs puram.

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

poo tornados = cornucopias??

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVal Russell

poo cornucopias! how, er, bountiful!

the vampire pilgrim cracks me up. maybe they were trying to cash in on thanksgiving and the release of new moon.

or not.

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTerry Lee

I saw slugs (I did grow up in the Pacific NW) where you saw tornadoes, but we absolutely agree on the poo! Took a long moment to realize they were cleverly disguised cornucopias - the trail of brightly covered droppings gave it away, eventually...

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren Valinda

oh my you have me laughing so much that I'm worried about waking everyone else up...I want my free time to myself!

But the zombies feeding everyone a Turkey...classic!!! :D

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRenee

Don't you think the poo tornado at the top/center kinda looks like a hippo?

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Nah, the second cake has been decorated by Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo......

Could my word verification be any more appropriate? 'Fesess'...lots of 'em

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

Urg. My first thought on CW1 was "Evil Teapot."

CW2: Who wants poo for the holidays? Uck.

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

So at Thanksgiving time we're supposed to be thankful for poo tornadoes? Why doesn't anyone tell me these things!!

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The poo tornadoes really add that festive touch. I feel all warm and fuzzy inside and ready to go in the kitchen to cook a 12-course meal.

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFiberQat

The poop tornados will haunt my dreams

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRHulsey

Epcot instead of Epic! I'll jump on that bandwagon. Now if only we could replace Pwnd with something...

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkirstie

I just can't quit laughing at "poo tornadoes"... reminds me of the time I was in a little too big of a hurry to take off DS's diaper....

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda Mac

First I thought the first cake was for a combination of Halloween and Lincoln's Birthday.

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdeckardcanine

Inside jokes for Wreckies. . . Classic.

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarcie

No, you see, that second cake is dedicated to Mr. Hanky, the Christmas Poo.

go check South Park if you don't believe me. ;)

VW: forepini. I am SO not going there.

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

My sweet hubby bought me your book, Jen, while at the SeaTac airport. He called and said, "Did you know your favorite cake lady's site has a book?" "Yes," I said, "and you can get it for me for Christmas."

He handed it to me early. :)

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLarisa

(is feeling the holiday spirit)

Winter underlined, everyone!

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShalen

I thought maybe it was Vampire Pilgrim Planter's Peanut Day?

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMikewind Dale

I thought the poo tornadoes looked more like giant ugly caterpillars, like that big thing in Alice in Wonderland. Ewwwwww.

And I hate to tell you this Jen, but "winter" is so very Northern-Hemisphere-centric of you. Do you think no one lives south of the equator? It's almost summer there. They may feel very slighted. I think you're going to have to come up with something else. "December, underlined" perhaps?

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

That second one seems more like it ought to say "Happy Solidys!"

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Um, I think that's pronounced " Holiclays"

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie B

That's a zombie pilgrim? Maybe it's because I just re-read The Chosen, but I thought it was an Hasidic Vampire. A very cheery one. Wow.

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermadrobins

Can't wait for the moment that using the expression "winter holiday" will even become politically incorrect due to "global warming." Ha!

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDorci

I think the "poo tornados" are cornucoprolites.

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHarry F.

Those are pretty "poopy" cakes! LOL
Amy B-H

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

I still have trouble wrapping my head around what kind of twisted psyche finds poo an acceptible decoration. And yet it is turning up everywhere.

Making me totally rethink my chocolate addiction, I tell ya!

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterIslandPearl

Okay, the wrecks are bad enough, but I think "cornucoprolites" is my new favourite word... :-) The vampires just need to stop. All of them. Except maybe Dracula, 'cause he was here first (okay, maybe not FIRST, but you know what I mean... ;-) ).

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeanne

Cornucopias. I stared a long, long tiem before I got that.

I'm very proud

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMary Connealy

Poo Tornados!!!!

You made me snort. Thanks!

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterYvonne Armstrong

I love the poop tornado that looks like a hippo at the top of the cw 2 because nothing says have a happy holiday like a hippopotamus-- now if I could just stop humming "I want a hippopotamus for Christmas"

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSiouxzr

@ Harry F: Cornucoprolites! That is hilarious! Fossilized turkey poo?

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

Speaking of sayings-of-choice, my boss gave me a bottle of wine one December. On it was a post it note which read, in full, "Dear Rachel-- Merry."

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachel Gray

Harry F. said...
'I think the "poo tornados" are cornucoprolites.'

I think this is one of the most erudite dirty jokes I've ever read. Bravo, Harry!

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGary

(Clears throat.) Um. Well. (Brightens) Hey, at least they didn't put an apostrophe in holidays!

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNYCGirl

poop tornadoes! that sounds like a disaster film in the making! Cloudy with a chance of poo meatballs, perhaps? If it wasn't for the scanty sprinkles decorating the poo ends, I would never have realized those were supposed to be cornucopias.

Honestly, wreckerators. We don't need cake right now! it's time for PIE!

Next horror film, "Vampire Pilgrims" on the quest for turkey and cranberry sauce. What a whole new connotation for the colonial settlement.

WV: mater. well that's easy. Latin for mother. or misspelled matter. What does it mater if a vampire pilgrim kidnapped Pocahantas?

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@Anon 1:02 "Happy Solidys!"

um, considering that these are poo tornadoes with apparent undigested corn kernels, wishing Happy Solids is kind of creepy. Maybe it's not a holiday cake. Maybe it's "Glad you got over your stomach virus" cake. or your irritable bowel syndrome. or something along that line....

WV dines--what gets you started in poo creation in the first place. what goes in, must come out....

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I spy a hippo (with his own turds), a couple of caterpillars, a possible crocodile (top left) and a walrus (bottom left). or slugs. leeches? feathers. maybe even a braid (middle right. cornucopias? not even close. This could be an all purpose cake from Halloween through the Christmas season, what with the colors and sentiment.

Does that pilgrim have a nose? and why does he look like a conehead in a top hat? I pictured pilgrims to be hairier.

I know, maybe he was the pilgrim community's tax collector! see the symbolic blood sucking fangs?


WV culer--what could be culer than a bloodsucking pilgrim? besides the flaming turkeys and squirrels of yesteryear?

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjoanne

Can't CakeWrecks come out with a series of greeting cards? I think yuou'd make a mint.


November 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterinfinitehaiku

That second cake looks like it got a visit from Mr. Hankey.

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfeathergirl

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>