My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Et Tu, O-Town?

I feel I should prepare you in some way for today's Wreck.

Hm. Let's see...

Oh! I know. How about this:

Think of a place. A happy place.

A place where chocolate-dipped demon mummies can never, ever reach you - much less wrap you in their fudgy arms and squeeze the life-breath out of you.

Are you imagining that happy place? Are you there?

Ok, good.

You may now proceed.




Yes, it IS cake.

Forty six pounds of cake, to be precise, and fifty five pounds of chocolate ganache. It's a testament to the baker's skill that I could never get within arm's reach of this thing, for fear of it suddenly coming to life like in Night at the Museum.

Still, you've got to appreciate the humor of where they chose to start cutting:

"Hey, girl, you have one sweet piece of...[noticing onlookers]...uh...shoulder blade."

Thanks to Wreckporter Jessica Y., who featured it
here in her article for Orlando Weekly, and also to Paul J., the baker/sculptor, who's been an awfully good sport about all this.

In fact, you can check out progress shots of Paul sculpting the demon mummy (warning: a live model was used, & she's nekkid!) at his FB album here.

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Reader Comments (188)

The comments are something else on the original blog. They are being pretty damn defensive of the artist and the piece and are condemming the blogger who directed this to Jen's attention.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatjaMouse

It's the second photo that creeped me out the most. I could appreciate the skill required to make the cake but once people started cutting into it, I got kind of grossed out.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlynellenyl

When I saw this I was instantly reminded of the Legend of Zelda games. This cake looks like one of the monsters that sits in town square on Ocarina of Time after you've pulled the sword out of the stone in the Temple. I *hated* those things! They always freaked me out when they would suddenly jump on your head and try to choke you.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKimbalena

I love how the article specifically says you wouldn't post it.

Way to stick it to the man.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTwirly McSwirl

I used to BE an artist's model, for drawing, for painting, and for scuplting out of clay. But CAKE? that's something different.

meanwhile, Sirius, your son would probably want the cake for the "cool freaky" factor, but considering this was sculpted live with a nude model--you'd better watch out! ;)

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

okay, it's a terrifying cake, but you have to admire the effort.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

I'm apparently really, really in the minority, but I'm really blown away by the talent of the creator, and not creeped out at all. Ingenious how he's hidden the armatures so well.

And thanks, Anonymous at 10:36 -- I thought of Degas' ballerinas, too. He says in his comments that he wants to try the next cake using a bronze-tinted final coating...that would complete the illusion!

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

okay, it's a terrifying cake, but we must applaud the effort.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Does that count as performance art?

(3 days!!)

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I´m glad I´m not the only one who thought of Pompeii, and that was one incredibly disturbing line of thought.
However, looking at it from a, um, distanced perspective, I can admire it as an abstract piece of art. As long as nobody mentions volcanoes. Or mummies. Or zombies.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterschneefink

Hm. While I appreciate the technical skill that must have gone into sculpting a cake like that, and it would look awesome done in metal, and I think it's kind of a cool idea, that first shot is probably the least flattering thing I've ever seen. Ick.

Props to the artist, that is, um, interesting work. I'd like to see what else he's done. As long as I'm not eating at the time.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

And tonight on Cake Boss, an homage to House of Wax --

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJosin L. McQuein

It's a shame all the comments on the blog are so rude towards the author.

It *is* a technical achievement, and it *does* look like a woman...but WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO EAT THAT AUGH D:

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTindy

What is WRONG with these people?!?!?!?

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

First, I must say that I don't see anything creepy about that cake. Maybe I'm not normal.

I see a very good sculpture of an human being, althugh the chocolat was not the best option. The person who made this could have tried to gove some color to the cake, couldn't he? XD

But, yes, in some way, it reminds me some person found in the ruins of Pompeia.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSara

That is amazing! It is so lifelike it would scare me to death!!

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMica_B

....not something you see every day. 0_o

This is a perfect example of what should be called "The Baker's Caveat"--Just because you CAN doesn't mean you SHOULD.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

I've never seen a cake that was both a remarkable technical achievement, and a living nightmare.

The sad thing is it all comes down to color choice. Had they used white ganache It would have looked like a classic Renaissance statue and less like the charred body of a burn victim.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Just unbelievably amazing! I'm truly in awe over this. It is and it isn't, ya know?

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterYogaGal in the NW

All I can say is that model must have killer quads and feel REALLY comfortable with herself to pose like that nekkid for what was probably an extended period of tim in front of a crowd.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKristers

Is it weird that what bothers me the most is the pose? If this had actually copied the Degas bronze ballerina statue - which it sort of resembles - or a similar pose, I think I'd have been less creeped out and more blown away by the skill involved.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShanti

I thought of the ballerinas, too. Except that in the first shot, one of the knife/spatula strokes totally looks like mummy bandages. It's really quite impressive, but in a creepy, "What is that supposed to BE?!" way.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCathie

I think it's pretty cool actually.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I amazed at two the creator was able to keep this cake from falling apart with little support...AND...the braveness of the model!

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLeah

Uh, no no no! That looks like someone stole it from a morgue. If I was that model, I'd be having nightmares!

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRepetitious

This thing looks like how we feel on a bad day when we have cramps.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTracy

She looks like a burn victim. This is seriously disturbing. Yes, accomplished cakemaking. Also...eww.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermadrobins

Thank you for trying to prepare us for this cake but I just don't think anything could.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commentergrandma

Very comical..they should've done red cake on the inside...kind of looks like someone who was stuck inside a port a potty when it rolled down a hill..this is the end result...nasty!!!

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I don't get it. Why is this a wreck? That's a beautiful piece of art there. Looks like cast bronze. Gorgeously sculpted. It seems like that was the idea too, not like they wanted a cute marzipan bride and got this instead. Show some love for that sculptor's skills.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJESS

Glad that I'm not the only one who thought it looked like she was spending some quality time on the throne...

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

The fact that it actually has FINGERS scares the heck out of me. It would be so less creepy if the chocolate was smooth...something about the texture makes it seems much more disturbing.

On a side note, if you are going to have a realistic cake of ANY type (but especially human)do not start with eating the a$$ first!

WV Buleh...the sound the cake makes as it come to life, "Bulehhhhhhh"

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjess

Pass the a$$(cake),please.....

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCyndi

That is an incredible piece of work, especially if it was created in situ in front of an audience. Yes, it is creepy but only because it is so lifelike - it could get up and get you at any minute!

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

Taking a deep breath, thinking of happy place.

Did I mention I visit here everyday, just before I eat lunch?

Did I mention that i teach junior high?

Thinking of happy place

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterOnyx

This cake seriously freaks me out. I have tears in my eyes! And I'm 28 years old! Off to go look at some cute bunnies or something.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Before reading the description, I thought - wow, that's a crazy world history class to have a cake that looks like one of the castings of victims of Vesuvius in Pomeii... so strange.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChris

Y'know, I could this cake working quite nicely at the opening of a mummy exhibition. Archeologists and museum staff tend to have that kind of humour.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Gravekeeper

It looks like one of the figures you can see at the Pompeii museum. Yikes!

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Christiansen's

This looks like it should be celebrating the Bodyworks traveling museum exhibit. It's a great example of a skinned body. (shivers)

wv: DIAPACEN. I would diapacen to get out and away from this!

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjengersnap

I feel like if he had icing that could have been poured over the cake instead of spread this could have been quite beautiful. Its the awful icing job that really makes this look like the flesh is sloughing off... AAAUUUUGGGGHHHH!!

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShidaPida

I just wish he'd gone with ANYTHING but chocolate ganache, which makes it look like a bog body. An amazingly sculpted bog body. Maybe it looks less terrifying in person?

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCara

Am I the only one getting a Hieronymus Bosch vibe from this horror?
WV: sabing. I am on the verge of sabing my eyes out rather than look at this horrific wreck.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yes it is creepy but am I the only one who doesn't understand the title of the post?

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKinipayla

I see I'm not the first person to think of the Pompeii victims. Scrolling down the page, I was half expecting to see various other figures frozen in their ashy death throes. Yum! what'll the theme be for the *next* banquet, wreckerators; drowning victims? Earthquake victims? (Topical!) Ugh. I don't wanna think about this any more.

wv: repar. You cannot repar the damage done to my psyche.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRachel M.

You're trying to stun us all into silence aren't you. :) I did think Rodin, then I saw the second picture & thought, Descendants of the Donner party reunion, nice to see they have a sense of humour about their ancestors. Why are they cutting up the people of Pompeii? A lure for Wendigos?

My happy place just went "poof" like a pin pricked bubble, the second picture was so disturbing, like some cannibal feast. It reminded me of that scene in the movie Alive, where they were trying to decide from who & what part of the people they could take the meat, interestingly they chose the same part. If it was a Hannibal Lecter party, that would be different, freakish, but different.

How did they balance all that weight like that? The impressiveness does not override the creepy factor it has going. One man's art is another man's nightmare.

What is it with the cakes like people they cut into & eat, it's just really disturbing. Yes I know it's supposed to be like a sculpture. Maybe if it was more bronze tinted or something that wasn't someone's skin colour.

I haven't even gotten to the position they chose, wow.

@Ashley B. Red velvet cake! ROFLMAO!

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCan't See Sheep

Does anyone else think this looks like a burn victim? Is there a reason they didn't use fondant??

Of all the cake wrecks I've seen, this one is enough to give me nightmares.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Looks like one of the Redead from Zelda

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKerri


Just. Wow. I really did get scared/disturbed there for a second.

Props to the baker/decorator for pulling it off but .... why????!

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

Uuummmm, all I got is "WHY????"

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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