My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Saint Patrick Would Be SHOCKED

Shocked, I say!

I mean, as I understand it ol' Patrick was a pretty conservative guy. So I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that the whole "Kiss me, I'm Irish" thing was not his idea.

Apparently they needed all of the capital "I"s for "IRISH."
(And as we all know, the Irish hate apostrophes.)

Still, someone needs to tell these cookie cakes to stop giving us lip. Mostly because their lips are deeply, deeply disturbing:

First tell me what "Irist" means, and then we'll discuss which display of affection I'm comfortable giving you. Mmkay?

Given all the suggestive suggestions being suggested, you might think Wreckerators would be more mindful of their capital "L"s, too:

Granted, that yellow magnet does "suck," but blaming it on the Irish is a pretty polarizing move.

Let's end on a more positive note, though. After all, it is Saint Patrick's Day, and I'm sure he would appreciate a more appropriate expression of celebration.

Aw, that's doing Ireland proud, right there.

Btw, when did Peppermint Patties get canonized? (Not that I'm complaining, mind you; they are quite heavenly.)

Ok, forget appropriate expressions of celebration. Let's go out with one final insult to dear St. Pat:

[brightly] Today's word, boys and girls, is "prat." Puh-rat. Prat.

It has some really fun meanings, too, kids. Why don't you go look it up in the dictionary with your parents?

Terri J., Margaret C., Madeline, Chris H., Cathy W.,& Ruth S., since no one else is gonna say it, I guess I will: Happy St. Patricia's Day!

- Related Wreckage: Funny

Update: Apparently, St. Patrick was actually Welsh. Or was it English? Ohhh... and then he was kidnapped by Irish pirates. But he later returned to England to marry Buttercup after many madcap adventures with a giant, a Spaniard and an angry little man with a lisp. Everybody clear? Good, good...

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Reader Comments (128)

Pratrick's Day. That is awesome. And those lips are terrible.

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

St. Pat may have been conservative, but he was still popular with the ladies (which was totally culturally acceptable at the time and palce). Also, dear old St. Pat was English too. *sigh* Not everyone's perfect.

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love that Big Whoop one. I can just picture the disgruntled employee who is sick of green frosting making that one...

WV: Laperpor - Those poor, poor leprechauns after wreckerators get to them...

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBek

Big Whoop made me whoop out loud! Thanks for the chuckle.

WV: voycol . . . St. Patrick would have been quite voycol (rhymes with the "poiple" of old) at the atrocities of these cookies/cakes!

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWriteCards

i had no idea that St Patrick's day could be wrecked so thoroughly... amazing.

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermn_me

Hmm. I think that's a horeshoe not a magnet. But the magnet puns are more fun. :)

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

Are we supposed to kiss the cakes themselves?

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

I didn't know what prat meant but I do now. LOL. Thanks for the new vocabulary! (And the funny wrecks)

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca F.

Ha! My first glance at the "Suck of the Irish" cake told me that was a recumbent pair of men's shorts! On the other hand, the horse that wears that shoe must have pretty big...ummm...FEET, right?

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMomcat

Hsppy "St. Patricia's Day" to you, too! ;)

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hey! I married an Irish guy. MY family has a cabin up north and when he visited for the first time, he noticed we had a horseshoe over the door for good luck. One of the first thing he did was to take the horseshoe down and rehang it so that it was upright, in the shape of a "U" (it had been hanging in an upside-down U shape). He said that in order for it to be good luck, it has to be hanging like a "U" so that the luck doesn't fall out! Maybe that's why the horseshoe is upside-down on the cake? Then again, we probably shouldn't give the wreckerator that much credit....

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather Smith

Actually St Patrick was Welsh, he went to Ireland to convert the heathens who had enslaved him when he was a boy. Irish pirates captured him. He escaped trained to be a priest here in South Wales at and recieved the command from God to go back to Ireland in a dream. He left from Whitesands Bay near St Davids (Britains smallest city) and wanted to stay in Wales as it was so lovely but God told him someone else was going to come after him who would be the patron of Wales. St David, (Dewi Sant in welsh) is the only native born of the four patrons of Great Britain. Patrick ,welsh for Ireland, Andrew Jewish for Scotland and George a Palestinian for England. My husbands family all come from Dewisland the area of Pembrokeshire he came from.

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdiddleymaz

The color of that last atrocity is painful to my eyes!

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLauren Borquez

the lips on the second cake totally look like a bird

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSummer

I thought it said "suck the irish" and the "of" was a clover or something.


seb x

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I was really hoping for a lephrecaun cake. Maybe next year.

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor

Dear Jen,

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.


March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMolly

As you wish! :-)

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Irist", you hand. We should join up! Maybe we'll "Get Lucky". "Kiss IRISH". "Suck the Irish" has a 3 leaf clover left of "the". Decorator was a "prat"! Lump me in the "Big Whoop!" category though, I just want a cool sensation pattie!

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjengersnap

Okay, I totally love the "Princess Bride" reference! That was too funny!

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterka.middleton

Maybe "Kiss Me I'm Irish" comes from the tradition of kissing the Blarney stone?

Nonetheless, love the St. Patrick's Day wrecks! Slainte!!

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEmma9405

Happy St Pratty's Day everyone!

Slightly Off-topic: I was at Costco yesterday, hovering around the baked goods. Happened to see a couple of sheet cakes with little carrots on them. Naturally, I thought that they'd look so much better with carrot jockeys on them. Poor little lonely carrot steeds!

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMay

Does that second one say "Kiss me in Irish"? A cursive lowercase M would have 3 humps, not 2. Right?

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkberwin

I just wanted to say that I really appreciated the Princess Bride reference at the end. Happy Saint PRATrick's day!

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

LOL Thank you Cake Wrecks for expanding my vocabulary (with assistance from I can now use "Prat" in my daily conversations with confidence!

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yup -- St. Patrick was kidnapped by pirates pre-canonization. And apparently, I am a descendant of that pirate. Argh, matey!

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"I'm not a witch, I'm your wife".

Loved the Princess Bride reference!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersadi

At least there were no four leaf clovers...that really burns my hide!

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBob

Those are some funny lips, but I am willing to bet most of these cakes look okay after you've had several pints of Guinness

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Black Dog


I'm down with getting lucky today, any excuse or none!

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda


March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterViewtiful_Justin

"Prat"?! I do not think that means what you think it means, but have fun storming the castle! Such exquisite St. Pat's. wreckage...

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterflyinggargoyle

St. Patty - The patron saint of wreckerators!

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKay

Right now, the only thing I can focus on is that the second cookie was made almost a week ago. (close-up of sticker shows 3/11/10.)
Likely good and sturdy by now, hmmm?
I'd like to take the stupid thing, and give our pal Irist a good hard, stale whack upside the head.
(Man! If "ignorance is bliss", there must be a LOT of *happy* cake decorators out there.)


March 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I'm thinking there are going to be some boys named Pratrick now just because of that cake. Lovely.

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTessa

The Big Whoop cake is actually a big whoopie pie! I lived in New England for a few years and these are quite a popular and delicious treat! It is a soft cookie sandwich with vanilla cream in the center. So it is one of their creative sayings when they say Big Whoop on a whoopie pie! Hope that helps clarify things a little!

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather R

No more rhymes, and I mean it!
Anybody want a peanut?

WV: ovitum- The place where eggs are laid to rest.

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterthe Mayes family

Get Lucky? Hey, are those the Keebler Elves. I mean Little People?

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBecBec

The Big Whoop wreck is really a giant whoopie pie, no? I'll bet they do a whole wrecktastic "Big Whoop" series!

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Roman. He was Roman and his name was Padraic -- thus, St. Paddy's day.
Not English, nor Welsh, nor Irish.

(can I get my official geek card now?)

scroniam -- not even going to go there.

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGem

Princess Bride reference made my day. Thanks for the laugh!

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermountainmouse14

Love the reference to Princess Bride! It still boggles my mind that these people are hired by the bakery departments.

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer


wv:synge--Looking at these "cakes" will eventually synge your corneas right off.

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCyndi

Sad, really.
Amy B-H

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Gawd, these wreckarators are a right bunch o' prats!

I don't care where St P's from - what I care about is the lack of snakes on these cakes. Perhaps they do cartoon snake St P cakes for the kids? (if not, someone should!)

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHelen Highwater

In the words of a Brit(no, not me):

Prat- A prat is a gormless oik. You make a prat of yourself by mistakenly putting both legs down one knicker leg or by playing airguitar at pop concerts.

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLilly

"Irist"?? "Pratrick"?? INCONCEIVABLE!!

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDaisy

I would suggest that these people just avoid writing on the cakes at all, but after seeing the sad state of their shamrocks the other wouldn't really help the situation.

And the shape of the lips is disturbing enough, but what is with the color they used???

Maybe grocery stores should just start providing stencils??

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBakingdom

"As you wish..."

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrookie

You keep speaking of St. Patrick in the past tense, but I think he's only MOSTLY dead...


March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVanessa

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