My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

It's Life, Jim, But Not As We Know It

We can always count on our Wreckporters to explore strange new worlds, seek out new life and new civilizations, and boldly submit some of the rarest wreck species ever seen.


Like the skinnileg piglet nervosia, or "South American Worried Grasshopper Pig:"

Thankfully, this one is saying "Oink!" so we can differentiate between the Grasshopper Pig and the Machu Picchu Googly-Eyed Hot Dog.

The hippopotamus runoverus, or the "Peruvian Pink Pan-Flattened Hippo Dragon:"

The pepto hallucinatus, or "What You See in Your Dreams After You Eat Sausage Pepperoni Pizza Before Bed:"

This friendly guy, the runfor yourlife itsa tarantula withrabies, or the "Chilean Snuggly Bug:"

And finally, the quackae lasiks caterpillarus, or "Someone Should Probably Go Ahead and Call an Exterminator... and an Eye Doctor."

Ryan S., Jill B., Seth W., Stephanie B., and Anne R., you must be awesomus wreckporterus!

Related wreckage: Creepy Crawly Cakes


« Cake Wrecks: The Music Video | Main | Saint Patrick Would Be SHOCKED »

Reader Comments (101)

I love that they had to write "oink" next to the pig so that we'd know what it was.

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

Today's post is hilarious! You always brighten my day!!

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenniffer

LOVE the Star Trek tie-in! I knew it was going to be good from the moment I saw the title!

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJR*Sikorski

Those are some of THE scariest things I've ever seen... I've followed your blog for a long time, but this is the first one I actually had to comment on! GOOD GRIEF! It's like a psychotic Dr. Seuss book or something! These I would probably be afraid to eat.

Love the Trek reference too. Nice one.

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCandace

I think what's most amazing is that so many of these are proudly sitting in plastic cases in a display cabinet when they're captured in pixels.
Some decorator looked at them and thougt "Good enough to sell, if not to eat!"

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

Is there actually any cake under all that icing?

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

I thought the exclamation point was a 'y', so I read the "Oink!" as "Dinky" - which was even more confusing.

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Am I the only one who thinks there are some amazing potential band names in today's post?

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor@MyOlderBrothers

Based on the paw prints next to the tarantula with rabies I would have to guess that it just ate a puppy for lunch!

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

"He's dead, Jim."

Yeah, you could pretty much say that about every single one of these cakes. South American Worried Grasshopper Pig cracked me up XD

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterksaldria

Why are there dog prints beside the Chilean Snuggly Bug? Why is he foaming at the mouth??


March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaitlin

I can hear Kirk now...
"Scotty! We...need...more...icing!"

WF-smong This post is smong my favorites!

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKrusho

I imagine this is what it would look like if Woozles had thalidomide babies.

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAbby Normal

They... they all scare me.

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPunk

Chilean Snuggly Bug! Hahahahaha.

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

Perplexus maximus.

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNYCGirl

I was pretty sure that the "hippopotamus runoverus" was a sad little armadillo. But hippopotamus works!

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCookieD'oh

Just wondering what happened to the cake board under the last cake...

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLeah

Are these cakes made by blind people?

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMe!

I will see the grasshopper-pig in my nightmares.
And I must now go listen to "Star Trekkin'" by The Firm.
"There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow. There's Klingons on the starboard bow; scrape 'em off, Jim!"

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterheidrance

If they were looking to inspire terror with the tarantula cake, then bang on. I think that's the first actually terrifying halloween cake I've seen (if that's what they were going for...which, as we know, might very well NOT be the case).

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMeaghan

Set phasers to "kill"

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSandi

Wow would you like some cake with your icing? ;P

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLauren Borquez

I want a bright yellow chick with a pink unibrow, especially if it comes on wonky cakeboards!

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

I just could help but laugh out loud because of todays post! Hilarious!

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNoortje Merks

As a vet, I feel compelled to point out that neither tarantulas nor "Chilean snuggly bugs" can get rabies - it's strictly a mammalian disease. Perhaps it's not foam we see at the chelae, but the pathetic remains of an unlucky dwarf. If only there was a burglar around to save it!

That said, these cakes are pretty darn awful. Or at least, these mounds of frosting are pretty darn awful. I think someone needs to prove they actually contain cake.

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterQatie

The Chilean Snuggly Bug is amazing. I almost want to decorate cakes to see what amazing things I can create.

Awesome as always, Jen & John.


March 18, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterara marie

Judging from the pawprints surrounding the Chilean Snuggly Bug, I believe it was supposed to be a dog. However, if it was supposed to be a dog, it looks like it is foaming at the mouth. I'd take a Chilean Snuggly Bug over a rabid dog any day of the week.

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlynellenyl

heidrance - That song popped into my head the minute I read the title!

wv - awsms: These are somes awsms wrecks.

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I realize that cake decorators must get their training and experience somewhere, but do they have to inflict it on the bakery-shopping public? Can't they practice with spackling compound and Styrofoam? Don't these stores have managers with any brains whatsoever? Why ... why ... why?!?!

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

On every one of today's wrecks, I had to wonder if they're all frosting. And to that I say: BLEH!

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterandygirl

@ 8:11 AM PST * 'Cuz this was not here when I read all the comments, but ...

DMMT, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a cake decorator!

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

"Chilean Snuggly Bug" - the commentary is just hil-ar-ious as usual.

Thanks! (still snorting to self in laughter)

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMare

Is the 'chilean snuggly bug' supposed to be a rabid dog? I saw the paw prints and the foam around the mouth, that was my first thought. Maybe it's a call of action by Vets to get your dogs' their rabies vaccines.

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristina

OH NO..... it's MANBEARPIG!!!

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMich

I love these creatures--as long as they stay trapped in my computer.
I do have a question (What, just one?), what is the random green stuff on both cake number 2 and 5?
And another thing? Is seeing a pastel armadillo the same thing as seeing a pink elephant?
And where can we scrape off a ton of icing before eating without causing a toxic waste incident?

WV today may be prophetic imakerpe

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

I just have to say, "There's Klingons on the starboard side!"


March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I don't care what anyone says; I think that the third thing down (wearing a pink straitjacket and a Simpsonesque expression) is cute. CUTE, I say!!
Look at that face!! So hopeful...

Sadly, we all KNOW that it is not REALLY in a "cake container". We all KNOW what is coming next....
It's just that I thought that they had outlawed euthanasia by gas chamber...

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I love your knack for naming new species. Your next book could have a huge chapter devoted to "alternative life forms."

Meanwhile, what's with the yellow random highlighting? kinda tough to read *squints at monitor*

have to ask my kids the "what do you think THAT is" questions....

what do icing colors like these do to poop? there's something to be said for poop colored icing when contemplating ingesting Pepto Pink or Neon Yellow...

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

"Chilean Snuggly Bug"...I think I figured it's supposed to be a lion...not sure why the green eyes- but I do find it interesting that it has sloth-like "paws". There's no way the paw prints were made by this creature.

As a side note - I'm sure the foaming rabies residue is actually supposed to be teeth but this bakery evidently does not carry enough icing tips.

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersweetcarnival

I think the pepto hallucinatus is kinda adorable. I can't imagine ever NEEDING a cake shaped like a self-satisfied pig giving itself a hug while wearing two white pieces from the game Sorry on its head, but still...

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChantelle

Captain Picard: To seek out new life forms!

*Sees Cakewrecks*

Captain Picard: . . . Not those life forms. Get us out of here, warp 10!

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbookbug

Really funny today... really darn funny!!!

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia

awww, the Chilean SnugglyBug just wants to be friends.


(there's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow)

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

Thanks for pointing out it said Oink. I was reading it as Dink.

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbeautifamous

@msyendor: "DMMT, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a cake decorator!"


March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

Chilean Snuggly Bug medical update, Dr. McCoy.

"It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead, Jim;
it's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead."

I'm pretty sure this must be the inspiration for many of these...creatures.

Star Trekkin by The Firm/Dr. Demento Show

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjengersnap


♥ ! SUE

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Star Trekkin' across the universe/On the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk!/Star Trekkin' across the universe/Always going forward since we can't find reverse!"

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Are you sure it doesn't say "Dink"?!

March 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

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