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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Mar262010

A Little Rough Around The Edges

If there's one thing I've learned from Cake Wrecks over the past 22 months, it's that Epcot is a thing not to be trifled with.

If there's another thing I've learned from Cake Wrecks, it's that you can't make a rounded cupcake cake (ptoieee!). As in, ever. The laws of physics preclude even the merest hint of possibility.

Not that this stops our brave wreckerators from trying, of course. They seem convinced that slathering potentially life-threatening amounts of icing onto anything will put a skeptical customer into a pre-purchase sugar haze strong enough to induce glaucoma.

So let's look at how the seemingly simple circle becomes a disaster destined for diabolically dastardly...um...proportions. (No, wait. Dimensions! Dang it. Broke my stride.)

This...[dramatic pause]...is a base "ball."


And this...is Spider-Man:

Or what's left of him, anyway.

This... is... SPARTA!!!

Actually, no. I think this is supposed to be a hamburger.

"Eh wude lak to baa zebargare kek."
Baker: "I'm sorry, what?"
"Zederbergerer kek."
Baker: "Okay, I'm really not sure what you're..."
*sobbing* "DERBERGER!"

Well just remember, Wreckerators, you can always resort to that old standby: Piping, The Fix For Everything.™

Perfect.

Nina M., Amanda Y., Tyler M., & Ruth U., here's hoping the CCC will be circling the drain sometime soon. Think there's a petition we can all sign?

- Related Wreckage: National Cupcake Day

« Wreckies of the Month | Main | Here Fishy Fishy... »

Reader Comments (92)

Can someone please tell me why that hamburger has a caterpillar-infested vine growing on it?!

Becky

March 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I can't be the only one who saw a red blob with a bikini top for the "Spiderman" ccc.

Hilarious!

March 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMrs B.

I feel like MAYBE the last one is supposed to be exclamation marks? Like, remember in 6th grade when you wrote your name in bubble letters with an exclamation mark at the end...KELLY!

Am I right?

March 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

I like Will's solution of really big CCCs. This site could just come to be about big cakes that actually don't look too awful. I think it might even be an important step toward world peace. :)

*sits down to meditate*

March 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjj

@Heidi:
Heh heh...WELL, now. We won't be hearing from kristina for a while...!!
=^~.-^=
Here's what I saw when looking at the first "creation":
I was scrolling down through the post, and was sneaking up on the first picture, when my something-or-other-technical froze. There I was, staring at the top half (ONLY) of the first...uh...cake.
AND...the first thing that popped into my "mind" was that it reminded me of one of those handmade Norwegian Fisherman's sweaters.(!!!)
Don't ask...
=^??^=

March 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

OH! And...and..
That second one? BIKINI TOP. Yeah!
On top of a bed of cupcakes--of COURSE.
I can't make ANY sense of that next one, and I think that's a good thing...it could mean that I'm not crazy enough to *recognize* it as REPRESENTING an actual SOMETHING.
As for the very last one..hmmmmm...
couldn't tell you--but it is NOT worth $16.99!!! Mercy!
=^@.@^=

March 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Holy cow! I've had a really bad day at work and I stumble onto this website and almost peed myself I was laughing so hard! The Cake Wrecks Correlation at the bottom of the page is too funny! I'm bookmarking this site. Thanks for cheering me up!

March 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJen

I think the last ones are dinosaurs??!!

March 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMeant To Be Wed

Maybe a CCC can't be round b/c the formula for a circle is "pi(e) R squared" not CAKE. Love this blog.

March 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTodd & Michelle's fami

http://listverse.com/2009/03/27/10-incredibly-bizarre-and-awful-cakes/

Here's a link you might enjoy. ListVerse has a "Top 10" list of "incredibly bizarre and awful cakes". Enjoy!

March 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterarmy_wife

people say balloons on that last one, I say they look like lungs on drugs, early 90's neon style.

March 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

I'm totally with you on the petition - where can I sign up?!

That last mess - I saw a ping-pong paddle on the left but can't even hazard a guess as to the mish-mash on the right.

March 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Looks like Spider-Man ran out of web fluid at the wrong time.

March 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

To Will and John,

All right you two, I want you to step back from the vision of putting together enough cupcakes to make a believably round structure and think for a minute: who the heck is going to have a birthday party for a 5 year old that requires that many cupcakes? The last thing you want is several hundred 5 year old children hopped up on sugar, just to ensure that the stinking cake is ROUND.

March 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVanessa

I'll sign it!! pass me that petition to end the horrors of ALL CCC's!!

Of course,if people would stop ASKING for us to make them, bakeries would stop making them.
Just sayin'..

*from a grocery store cake decorator who refuses to make CCC's!

March 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

@ heidi
Thanks for the link....you now owe me an ENTIRE bottle of tyleonl o.O

March 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkristina

My husband and I say " DERBERGER!" anytime one of us misunderstands the other. This made me tear up I laughed to hard! Thanks for the laugh!

March 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCameo

Me - What do you think this one is?
4 year old - Um, a cake?
Me - Yeah but what does it look like?
4YO - white cupcakes
Me - But as a whole?
4YO - Lots of cupcakes with a red squiggle
Me - It's meant to be a baseball
4YO - Oh dear god no, that is not a baseball! This is a baseball (points at baseball shirt) and that is just a mess with too much frosting.

When a 4 year old tells you you're using too much frosting you know you have a problem.

March 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRhonda

Just found your blog for the first time today. I logged on for a few minutes and stayed for 4 hours. It is one of the funniest things I have ever seen. I think it could be a replacement for exercise. I laughed so hard I feel like I did 100 crunch sit-ups.

I have already told 3 people about it. I will be back tomorrow and every day after that!!!

March 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjean

I've never bought a CCC, but I've often wondered ... does the icing stay on the appropriate cupcake when they are pulled apart? Or do you end up with half-necked CC when the adjacent CC pulls it off?

March 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia

Hilarious. I love it!

Leah xx
gwendolynloves.blogspot.com

March 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLeah

From Reece (hubby of Vanessa):

If one cupcake is 2.75 inches in diameter, that gives it an area of 5.9 square inches. Thus a CCC that's 36 inches across would be 324 square inches and take roughly 171 cupcakes.

From Vanessa:
I still say that's way too many hyper 5 year olds for one birthday party!

:)

March 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVanessa

What the....?
Who invented cupcake cakes?
Can we find them and kill them?
Or at least prevent them from breeding...
And as for the only ccc's at school rule... guess what, kiddies?
Life isn't fair. Sometimes you will get the smallest bit. Sometimes you'll get the biggest bit.
Learning to deal with is all part of growing up.
You'll soon learn to be at the front of the line, so you always get the biggest bit ;-)
(for those out there all touchy and pc and sensitive, this is a joke! I'm skinny, a geek, frizzy haired, brown skinned, part aboriginal, part irish, part romany- ask me about being left out picked on. It's in my genes, man!)

Shez

March 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think it's to the hamburger's benefit that it doesn't look remotely like a burger. It means it looks like yummy cake, which is more than you can say for most cakes based on meat.

March 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGreatBlue

Is it me, or does the burger cake look like it has toothpaste on it?

March 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDerek

That third "cake" looked like a poop hotdog.. yuck! The first one would either induce a diabetic coma on anyone even attempting to eat it let alone feed it to a five year old who would probably never sleep again thanks to the frosting. Those CCC's should be banned lol.

March 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

The Sparta/hamburger cake is quite the thing to behold! Is that straight frosting on the top? OMG!

March 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Did anyone else notice that the "hamburger" cake has what I can only assume is supposed to be lettuce piped with a rose leaf tip?

And really why not make 2 dozen cupcakes that each look like a baseball than wreck the heck out of it.

March 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBecca

I have no idea what that last one is. TEnnis racquet and something?

March 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterpeewee

I saw turkey drumsticks for the last one...Of course if they were brown that would make much more sense :P

March 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlysa

My 4 year old looking over my shoulder asked if the hamburger was a chocolate couch.

March 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OMG, thank you so much for a great laugh this morning. The link to the Pink Panther was just the frosting on the morning laugh.

March 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMicheline

The stitching is flat out wrong for a baseball. It's not a zigzag stitch, like on the cake, but a special stitch which pulls the leathers together. (http://images.google.com/images?q=baseball stitch)

March 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterserns

It's a good thing you mentioned that the red cake was Spiderman. At first glance, I thought it was something to do with a bikini.

March 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDW

The first cake has a name on it, so someone ordered a baseball CCC. Unless they ordered cupcake baseballs, and putting red icing baseball stitches on SO MANY cupcakes was just too overwhelming for the bakery, so they turned it into a CCC.

March 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

Laughing so hard I'm crying.. not bad for a Monday morning - Thanks!!!

March 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSylph

How many cupcakes would it take to make a circle? I'm very much tempted to try it myself.

And what would be the result if someone tried (egads) _cutting_ the cupcakes to fit?

March 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSylph

"If there's one thing I've learned from Cake Wrecks over the past 22 months, it's that Epcot is a thing not to be trifled with."

Yeah yeah, you SAY that, but we all know you are secretly making an epic post consisting of nothing but actual wrecks of Epcot. =P

March 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEvalis

@anon 12:41 PM: to smash cupcakes into a round tin to bake would make the cupcakes stuck together. doesn't that defeat the purpose of an easy to pull apart CCC? though with the icing they glob on it at bakeries, maybe it's not so easy after all.

They only bake together in shape and just barely stick to each other. You simply lift them straight up off the board and they come apart very easily. I discovered this method when my son begged for a CCC. I figured, if I HAD to do one, it was at least going to look decent.

March 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You could easily make a circle on CCCs if you sketch out a perfect icing circle and colour the curvy bits that fall outside the circle on individual cupcakes with a different coloured icing. Its not rocket surgery.

April 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

All these horrendous ccc's make me wonder if it is possible to make a good one and if i should try to be the person that does.... promise to send a photo when i fail ;)

January 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDale

Why would you make a cupcake cake if all you want is a round cake? They make regular round cake pans for that!

February 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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