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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Mar082010

The Groom's Revenge

Some groom's cakes really make you wonder: what did the bride do to the guy to deserve this?

Head Caterer: "No, no, no! We definitely want both cakes on the same table.

Why? Uhh...well, honestly, because the groom just slipped me a twenty."

As we all know, nothing says, "Look!! A dead deer!" quite like an edible photo of - waaaait for it - a dead deer.

And really, what photo could possibly be more appropriate on the day you pledge your life and love to another?


Now, far be it from me to say a guy shouldn't have a patriotic groom's cake. However, there's expressing love for your country, and then there's....

...well...this:


Of all the things that could be expressed on your wedding day, I'm pretty sure "Git R Done" is the least appropriate.
(The lasciviously winking Spongebob isn't helping, either.)

Still, as you loyal Wrecktators well know, it can always be worse:

Bringing a whole new meaning to "foot in mouth" on your wedding day.
(Yes, it's a foot.)

Mike R. reports: "This was the groom's cake at a wedding I photographed. (The groom lost his big toe in a lawnmower accident as a kid.) You can't see it in this photo, but of course the cake is red raspberry."

Oh, of course. I'm curious, though: Did the lawnmower take all his toenails, too?

Wait, don't answer that; I feel some dry heaves coming on.

Solli S., Amanda, & Anony M., that little piggy's gonna go "wee wee wee!" all the way through my nightmares tonight. [shudder]

- Related Wreckage: Proper Grooming

« Wedding Day Jitterbugs | Main | Sunday Sweets: Cartoons with Character »

Reader Comments (99)

Spongebob with "Git R done"??? How old is this groom? Ten?

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

eeeeeew. especially the last one. ick.

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErin

First Photo: "Honey, this is the last time you'll see the lid down on a toilet."

Last Photo: "I may not have my big toe, but still, you complete me!"

I'm thinking a bad groom's cake might be a deal breaker. Sooo glad my hubby didn't put me through that!

agirlinherkitchen.blogspot.com

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

What does a childhood lanscaping accident have to do with your wedding day? Don't groom's cakes usually involve the groom's hobbies? Is it his hobby to lose toes in bloody accidents?

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor@MyOlderBrothers

Splendor in the grass severed foot cake could have been a LOT worse (if you catch my drift...)!

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter*G*R*U*N*T*I*L*D*A*

Git R Done...............ACK! Larry the Cable Guy has infected the entire world!

As for the first groom's cake, does this mean the marriage is already in the toilet? :(

And I guess the last groom has really put his foot in it this time.

Sorry, I'll stop punning now........

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercrownring

The last one looks like a really badly made Monty Python foot. :D

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBean

I can't even form a real thought right now, I'm just so....flabbergasted.

These are times, cake decorators, that you just have to say no. You have to keep your professional dignity, pride and reputation and say:

No, I will not make a groom's cake shaped like a toilet.

Or one with a DEAD DEER on it.

Or one with a foot with a SEVERED TOE on it. Made, of course, of red raspberry cake.

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

For some reason, the lower case "l" on the "look What I Got" cake bothers me as much as anything else...

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlizzied

Is it strange that with the dead deer cake I was more intersted in the fact that they didn't feel like capitalizing the L? It looks like they had plenty of room. Considering it was on edible paper all they had to do was hit the shift key. That is pretty lazy. "Shoot, I got all the way to the end of the sentence and even managed to add some punctuation now I am supposed to go back and fix the first letter? Oh well, nobody is going to notice it anyway with that awesome picture."
Also, grey and orange? I do not want to see the bride's maid's dresses.

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTorrence

What does the toilet say? (pretty display around it)

why does someone commemorate the chopping off of their toe?

seriously? sponge bob on an army cake? or a groom cake? how old is this guy?

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

Are we sure the deer is dead?

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

I personally would mix up some of those inscriptions. I think "Git R Done" on the first cake would add that finishing touch. I also think "Look what I got" would look a lot better on the last cake, but that is just my personal opinion.

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMike Owens

Ug. bad, awful, yuck..... etc. And then there was the foot one at the end. WHY does a childhood accident have to be displayed (graphically) at your WEDDING, dude? Who cares? Who wants to eat that???

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I guess losing a toe would be a defining moment in life, making it difficult to just, er... let it go, even if it means reliving the matter on your wedding day in front of everyone you've ever known...

Is there a therapist in the house? For the groom, or for me now, it's whoever.

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjj

For a moment I thought maybe the last cake, the Foot Cake, was a shout-out to Lost.

But then I changed my mind and now it's just a creepy severed-toe-foot cake. Euw.

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRachet

Groom's Cakes make me sad. (I've always wondered why the bride is pushed to pick some frosted castle monstrosity while the groom's cake gets to be fun and actually about him and his interests - does the bride not have any interests, too?).

But these make me doubly sad, because they clearly spent a lot of money on a 2nd cake and they got these horrors.

And gray and orange can look pretty cool together if you do it right. It's a lot edgier than the normal pastel and white stuff you see at weddings, which I happen to personally dislike.

What would be extra awesome would be a wedding with a non-traditional cake, no "color scheme" or "theme" (it's just a party!), unmatched bridesmaids and a bride not in white. That's a wedding I'd want to go to.

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenna

How tasteless. Well, I'm sure the cakes are delicious, but the decorating ... ugh.

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLorraine

Can anyone see the writing on the toilet cake? I'm as curious as I am horrified.

Thank goodnes my hub didn't know grooms cakes existed when we got married.

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFanO'wrecks

Listen, I'm a photographer and you wouldn't BELIEVE some of the things people do when it comes to weddings!!!! :)

cheekydebutantes.blogspot.com

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterScarlett

Jenna would have approved of my wedding, then. We had a Princess Bride theme... sort of... but my husband dressed in Civil War and I in (blue) Victorian garb, and our attendants wore whatever they wanted (one light blue, one dark blue, one in orange.) My husband had a groomswoman instead of a groomsman.

And my cake was purple and white. We didn't have a groom's cake.

I loved our wedding.

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJael

Not a good day to eat lunch while perusing CC. *belch*

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

Yeah, that first wedding photo is terrific--until you see the toilet on the table. I hope the bride knows a good photographer who can Photoshop it. It's not a something you want to show your (eventual) grandchildren.

And what's up with the "Git 'R Done?" cake. Does he think the wedding night is an invasion of a foreign country or something? *

*No, don't answer that, please.

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBlue Jean

The toe would be great for the guest who wants "just a bite." how do you explain this to your guests though? who wants to know what's wrong with the groom's foot? and if a groom's cake is supposed to be about his interests and what's important to him, how sad that it's his foot and severed toe! get past it, buddy! get a hobby!

i didn't know about the groom's cake tradition, thankfully. one less thing to spend money on, and my cheap husband wouldn't have wanted to do it anyway. who knows what he would have chosen. normal guy, architect with soccer and baseball interests, but not enough that he'd want it replicated in cake. *shrug* he also liked to travel, drink wine, etc. maybe we could have done something fun.

defintely NOT spongebob....

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think "Look What I Got" would have been so much cooler if they couple had staged the photo with her in the truck in her wedding gown with fake antlers on her head and him standing over her lifting her smiling head up for everyone to see. Now THAT would be funny!

But that's just me...

(And yes, the "L" would need to be capitalized too.)

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

so let me get this straight:

On his wedding day, the groom wanted everyone to know and remember that he lost his toe as a kid. Really?

Huh...

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

I also thought the foot cake was a shout out to Lost till I read the explanation. And certainly tis easier to make a foot cake than a smoke monster cake.

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMira

Wait a second. I went to high school with a guy who lost his big toe in a lawnmower accident. Wonder if he recently got married...

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErika

My cousin's son had a bona fide red neck wedding - the colors were eggplant purple, hot pink, and camo. While there wasn't a "git r done" on the camo wedding cake. My cousin did shout that out as his son kissed his new bride. I wish I had just made that up.

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCollette

oh my hell. what an awful accident to have your toe chopped off, not something I'd want to remember on my wedding day... unless the memory of it will ease the thought of marrying a bridezilla

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

The writing on the toilet cake looks to me like "something" FLUSHING CO., except it's actually spelled fluhsing.
At first I thought it might be the company the groom worked for (or owned) but it could be still just a joke.
The first word might be his name, and the cake is his promise to start flushing now that they are married...

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBin

Sadly, my thoughts after going through the whole post was that the toilet seat one wasn't so bad.

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Men, you have to start your marriage off on the right note. If your intended doesn't want to let you choose the cake, it's time to put your foot down.

Add me to the list of people wondering what's written on that toilet (if that's what it is) in the first picture.
All I can think is that the guy must have a ton of money if she's willing to marry him, toilet cake and all. Oh, oh! I've got! He must be a plumbing fixture manufacturing tycoon.

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Well I was heaving after the dead deer cake - but oh dear that severed-toe-from-an-amputated-on-its-way-to-the-hospital-incinerator-leg cake

- barf barf BARF!!!!!

My poor father had his leg amputated.

(is 'git a term of abuse in the US? - it is in the UK & is exactly what I would put on my ex husband's cake)

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

At least the "deer cake" is MERELY a photo... You guys have featured some which were actual, 3-dimensional dead deer.

Tacky as it may be, a photo is still an order of magnitude less tacky than that!

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

the eff on the Git R Done cake: what the heck is sponge bob doing there? and he has...what?...on his head? condoms? balloons? why is he with our military? i'm confused.

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

Aww, I submitted a wedding cake/groom's cake combo yesterday.

Clearly I read Jen's mind.

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJahna

So someone's hobby is sitting on the toilet? Researcher for the bathroom reading institute maybe? ok. Two-bathroom house/apartment needed.

And seriously? A lawnmower accident is the defining character summation? (Quoth the BF: Duck tape toe ring)

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

Git R Done definitely makes me wonder if this is a redneck fratboy. >.X Seriously, especially because the "R" sounds her with a silent h.

But why do these guys get say over the groom's cakes, when traditionally they're supposed to be gifts from the brides?

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Git R done cake is strange American flag, German self propelled gun, Sponge Bob, and plastic army men. wow

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commentershreveport

I think the addition of Sponge Bob to that third cake officially broke my brain.

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterksaldria

Apparently, yes, guy I knew with the lawn mower accident did recently get married. I honestly would not be surprised at all if it were his cake. He thought his battle wound was cool - wore flipflops all the time. I saw it. It was gross.

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErika

"He thought his battle wound was cool - wore flipflops all the time. I saw it. It was gross."

OMG Erika - You mean you actually know the guy that cake is for? And losing his big toe really IS the highlight of his life?

I feel bad for his wife. There are so many ways the Great Revelation could have gone, and so few it could have gone well.

WF: "durti," like the Git R Done wedding cake, which I hope was a mutually-agreed upon joke, or else the shortest marriage ever

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCasey

To the CW readers from the UK - "Git 'R Done" is a "redneck" expression popularized by "Larry The Cable Guy" (a redneck comedian). It generally means "Get It Done". It can also mean "Let's Go!" "You Can Do It" or "Just Do It" or in the case of the groom's cake, I suppose it could mean "Just Do Her" -- in other words, "Time to Boink the Bride" The British slang 'git as a noun (insult) meaning "jerk" or annoying person is not recognized in the United States, except by Monty Python fans.

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh, my, goodness. You're kidding, right? A foot!? With the missing appendage laying in the grass?! For a wedding!?

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCookieMonster

That does it. I am officially forbidding my future husband to get a groom's cake without running it by me first. Then again, it could be fun to watch him squirm if it were to end up on here...

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

I literally just got light-headed seeing and reading about the Toe/Foot one. Ick Ick Ick.

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKate - DC

Quite frankly, I though the last cake was one of those tree trunk things at first glance. Too bad I looked again. Feet that ugly should be keept covered and OFF the table.
Groom's cakes have gotten badly out of hand (but then so have many weddings, period). I'm glad the people I know have "normal", tasteful cakes at their weddings. Of course, then there would be no wrecky cakes to complain of.

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

Am I missing something here - I thought the whole point of a wedding was the 'two hearts that beat as one' sort of thing, which is why there is a cake that the new couple cut together. So...doesn't having a bride's cake and a groom's cake rather detract from this idea?

But anyway, those cakes....*shudder*.

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

I don't think I've ever been to a wedding with two cakes. Is the big one the bride's cake?

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFanboy Wife

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