My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Our World Cup Overfloweth

So apparently this World Cup thing is a big deal. I know because it keeps breaking Twitter. And when Twitter's down, I'm forced to come to grips with my Twitter addiction, and let me tell you, henchpersons; that is NOT something you want me gripping at the crack of noon.

Anyway, when Twitter isn't broken, it has a handy little "World Cup" definition up, along with a soccer ball icon.

By studying this definition ("the largest sporting event in the world") and icon, I have come to the conclusion that the World Cup has something to do with soccer. Or football. Or something sports related.

And, gauging by the tweets and Facebook statuses I've seen, the World Cup also features a lot of these:

Er, those are supposed to be bees.

No, I don't know why they're puking orange jelly.

Or why their hive has an orange jelly door outlined on it.

Look, the point is that bees buzz. And from what I hear, there's a whole lotta buzzing going on at the World Cup.

The source of the buzzing is hundreds and hundreds of of vuvuzela horns:

which look nothing like this.

So anyway, I guess at this point I should probably show you some Soccer wrecks.


Hey, this could be a soccer wreck. I mean, really, do you know what it is? No, you do not. Therefore, I think the real question here is, how do you know it's NOT a soccer wreck? Hmm?

Ok, ok, fine. Here:

No, really, it's a soccer cake. Honest.

And this is a drawing of a molecule made with tinker toys:

Or possibly another soccer cake.

How about a few more traditional black and white "balls?"

Note: At this point, I actually had to google "soccer ball" just to remind myself what they're supposed to look like. In case you're in the same boat, here:

Now go scroll up and compare. I'll wait.


All set? Good. One more:

Mmmm. I'm not sure if I want to headbutt it or eat it!

(Ok, that's a lie: I'd definitely prefer the headbutt.)

And finally, a cake diorama of the 2010 World Cup:

Or something.

I mean, it could be, right? I haven't watched any of it, so you tell me: has anyone been shot with an arrow yet? Or have any of the female cheerleader's feet fallen off?

Janet, Dan W., Nina T., Ann S., Rachel L., Hillary H., Aimee P., Jen E., Brandy B., & Sarah W., if that kind of stuff is going on, then I'm totally checking out the World Cup after all.

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Reader Comments (131)

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGail

I think that airbrushed one looks a little like a weighted companion cube, which would be a lie if made of cake.

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLindstor

@Falze: yes! Dune worm! I see it!

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Now I know why I don't care for soccer... no cheerleaders, mascots, marching bands, flag-waving dancers, etc.! I bet they don't even have hotdog cannons!

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OH my goodness the vuvuzela/"cornucopia" makes me want to hurl. Seriously. *turns green*

I guess I'm not the only one who thinks the droning of the horns sounds like a bunch of angry bees! I was in a swarm once (I huddled under a tree and screamed my head off) and it sounds JUST like that! Brrr. I don't think I'll be watching much of the World Cup.

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterladyrazorsharp

I'm with Falze - #2 is a sandworm. No doubt about it.

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLulubelle B

aww. i thought the bee one was cute. i guess i'm the only one. :(

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkelly

The kids left a soccer ball in the driveway once and it looked just like a couple of those CCC after I ran over it. Love your blog!

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

doesn't matter what #3 is, it is orange so soccer-related. Here in the Netherlands just about everything is orange at the moment, they even sell orange toiletpaper!

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Between the Sandworm with gastroenteritis, the bees with gastroenteritis, the CCCs (ptooie!) giving me gastroenteritis, I totally lost any ideas as to what the orange thingie might be.

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermorriganscrow

Anyone else seeing a sad face in the orange gel of the bee hive cake?

I'd be pretty sad faced too, if I was being stung by poo-bees.

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjengersnap

i think the horn one is supposed so be a cornucopia or something. the other looks kinda like a whistle?

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That is not a bee hive. Those are carnivorous bees busy eating the jelly-like eyes and brains of an alien mummy (who also happens to have a jelly-like mouth/moustache...). I thought that was obvious.


June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My favorites are the first 3:
1. Flying, vomiting poo
2. Star Wars Worm
3. No Friggin Clue!

Now, as for "black and white balls"...*snort* You said "balls." That sounded dirty.

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

Hmmm....the one you say you want to head-butt, looks like something Charlie Brown would get in his trick-or-treat bag...

That diorama is fabulous. Do we have back story for this? I would totally buy something like that for my brother.

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That last cake looks a little like a cricket pitch. Just a little. The clothes are all wrong, though, and I don't think they have cheerleaders in cricket. Just tea.

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristy

Can somebody please tell me what a flamingoo is? Also, I don't know what the third one was, but it reminded me of ground beef and preschool art projects.... :D

Pic2 = We have wormsign!!

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

- flying poo blobs? every cake should have some

-the second one is the worm from Dune

- the third one is also an extra terrestrial life form

- a ball is a very difficult concept to grasp, it's so extremely spherical

- most soccer players fall over & sob fro half an hour if they break a manicured finger nail or find a split end in their coiffured hair, as illustrated by this most splendid cake

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

For the record, E3 is doing far more to break twitter than the World Cup is.

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterxJane

Are those puking turd bees??

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbbmeltdown

love the random shoe just lying on the ground on the last cake, really made my day :)

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That second one resembles this fictional creature, a Taxxon.


June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

My 4 year old says the 3rd cake is a duck. And if you flip it over, I can totally see it. Must be.

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Um... on that second cake? Whoever's large intestine that is? You need to eat more fiber.

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHoundmom

That last cake definitely looks like a track meet gone wrong, what with one person lying prostrate in the sand pit of the long jump, and another stabbed to death(?) in the elbow by a truncated javelin. I don't blame the official for his abject horror. I don't recall there ever being cheerleaders at track meets, although I suppose she could be a free-lance cheerleader...I definitely want to know the story behind that cake.

My daughter and I watched about two minutes of one of the World Cup matches the other day, and decided that we would have gone insane by now if we had to listen to the "buzzing bees" LIVE, all day long.

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

@ Shanti
"That orange thing looks like a Jai-Ali (sp?) scoop."

I thought that at first too. However, a cesta doesn't have a horn-like protrusion on the back of it. Though perhaps they have combined jai alai and mixed martial arts to create a fight-to-death match.

And as for Mr. Science Person's correction. Around my city, we have a very large concentration of engineers. When someone becomes a bit too obsessive about his yard, car, sport, or whatever, usually someone else will comment in a quiet voice, "Well you know he is an engineer" and everyone nods knowingly. They just can't help it, so don't take it personally.

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

If cake decorators can’t manage soccer balls, there is no hope for my tessellating M. C. Escher cake!

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFanboy Wife


June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

That last cake looks like my first ever track meet. The epitome of frustration and confusion.

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary

Jen, I feel you should know that there are no cheerleaders in soccer/futbol. Thank God.

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterthebubblegumchild

Seriously, these get put on shelves for purchase? Do these people go home proud of themselves that they have to throw their creations (I use the word losely) away at the end of the day. All of my cakes haven't turned out perfect, so when I realize they look like crap I START OVER...but that might be the OCD in me...

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKiki

I thought they were fire-breathing bees.
I also had to be reminded of what a soccer ball actually looks like. Cause all of a sudden... I wasn't too sure.

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChrista

I dunno about flamingos, it looks more like a mardigras ladybird to me, but hey, that's an awesomely flamboyant pink colour. CW 3: VERY badly bruised delicate bits, perhaps after running into a soccer ball after becoming confused by the vuvuzelas (which BTW are NOT in any way a traditional instrument - there ARE awesome African horns and pipes which are well-tuned and lovely to listen to, but these are not them!). Last CW scene: I like the hammer thrower, who's ended up with the hammer in his eye. The whole thing looks a lot like I remember Sports Day at school...

WV: certi - those are certinly not the Jabulani soccer balls being used in the World Cup.

MC from NZ

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@ first wreck: honey is bee barf. Really, it is.

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGiik

Pretty sweet Twitter/World Cup map:

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

As a kid, my brother told me honey was bee spit and I believed him...still do after that cake #1. And no, I don't eat honey. I do believe the last cake is a track and field meet explosion - sand pit, track on the outside, body parts everywhere or missing.

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCookieMama

OMG the wreck I sent in got posted! YAY!!!

To other people sending in photos - I sent it in like a year ago, so be patient, she really saves these up for just the right theme!

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrandy

I KNOW WHAT THE THIRD ONE IS!!! It makes sense now! If you tilt your head a little, it's a golf club & ball!

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commentergigi B.

U sure that one cake isn't a Thanksgiving cornucopia wreck?

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSunshyne

This was so funny! Thank you. The diorama is at least entertaining, but I really don't know what to say about the so-called soccer balls. I mean if I know a soccer ball is difficult and I don't feel cofident that I can actually produce a realistic soccer ball then I would tel the client NO!... as opposed to handing them crap and calling it soccer. LOl oh, well

check out my blog:

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter~Nikki~

Oh and I love the honeybees throwing up orange goop... even if that's supposed to represent honey, why would you have the bees trowing it up all over your cake?

check out my blog:

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter~Nikki~

I agree with Falze. It's a Dune sandworm... after a head butt... with the giant orange whistle... lost by the officials on the track field... of zombie leprosy cheerleaders... after eating mutant molecules.

It always delights me when I read new reader comments saying what I did when I found this blog: it makes me laugh. I must visit daily. Everyone should.

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIgnatius

I think that second cake has grapes smushed into meatloaf for a topping. Yum!

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It's FOOTBALL please and there aren't cheerleaders at matches. Some matches play as late as 2:30am local time and our menfolk (and a lot of womenfolk) do stay up late to watch these matches. (Hint: football betting)

These cake wrecks just made a wreck of the beautiful game!

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commentereve+line

Well, clearly you have the picture of the orange CCC upside down. It is a one-eyed, one horn, flying orange people, one horn, flying orange people eater...

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKathy Kakerator ;)

As far as I'm concerned, Jen, you really made a GOOOOOOOAL with these cakes in honor of the world cup!

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSherri

The second to last one looks like the surface of the moon. And if you think of it as a Sea of Serenity cake, it's actually a lovely representation.

Also, there are many legitimate reasons to love the beautiful game but my I offer my favorite illegitimate one. At the end of the match men who look like this exchange their shirts.

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Your logic is impeccable. It could be a World Cup wreck. And thank you for not caring about the World Cup either. I feel like a survivor of a zombie epidemic.

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAviatrix

That cake diorama is kinda cute as long as you don't really look at the details. lol

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary

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