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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Jun282010

Operation Cake Evasion

Are you tired of always having to get the cake for friends' baby showers? Nooo problem. Just bring in one of these, and they'll never ask again. Guaranteed.

I call this the Bizarre "B" Special: that's Baby Bigfoot on a BBQ, surrounded by beer bottles and a bonsai tree. Feel free to personalize your own creation, though, and have fun with it! How about an Irish infant in an igloo, surrounded by indigo ibexes?

Forget safe, traditional pastels; you want to "go" for as many subtle bowel reminders as possible. Note the use of "chocolate kisses," yellow icing, the big crack, and even the word "bun" in the inscription. Now that's a true master at work.

If the shower is around Halloween, you'll also have this fun option:

Yep. A subtle insinuation that mom-to-be rides a broomstick (or has one shoved where the sun don't shine) oughtta do the trick.

Or, heck, while you're at it: why not take a stab at mom's drinking habits?

The two ingredients for successful parenting.

If at this point you're STILL getting stuck with cake duty, it's time for the gloves to come off. Yep. It's time for...[dramatic pause]...the Crap n' Snap:

Ohh snap!

Now sit back, relax, and revel in the knowledge that no one will ever trust you to order a cake, ever again.

Thanks to Crystal B., Stephanie S., Jenny C., JK, & Angie M., who haven't ordered a cake since 1999.

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Reader Comments (127)

Babs beat me to it! It a gril!

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjigsawdiva

Another possible theory is that it is a hobbit. Anyone check for fur on the feet? Although, that still doesn't explain why it is missing an arm. Or why it's on a barbeque. Or...y'know. Anything except the feet.

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAldarendil

I'd be very surprised if anyone actually cut and served that last cake. I sure as heck wouldn't want to touch that with a knife or a fork. In fact, that looks like it needs to be pitched right into the diaper pail without a second thought.

That first cake actually could use the inscription, "It a gril!"

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElkman

Ok, that last one set a new low, I could barely look at the thing without heaving on the keyboard. Yikes!

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStefRobrts

Coors and Huggies? It's been a long while since I've last seen it, but could that be a "Raising Arizona" reference?

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I was feeling "down in the dumps" today and I was laughing so hard when I read today's that I had tears in my eyes. Thank you!

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelli

These cakes make it very clear: The customer is NOT always right. The last cake could easily drive away customers who saw it.

Bakers, please, JUST SAY NO!!!

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

That last one must be the ultimate in revolting.

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OMG to the first one and the second one definitely looks like an ode to POOP.

check out my blog: nikkiscakery.blogspot.com

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter~Nikki~

That last one's a huge helping of Huh? with a big side of WTF, all drizzled with crazy-sauce.

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMonique in TX

OH Wow, seriously. But I think the type of person who would order that last cake is the same kind of person who plays the pooy diaper baby shower game. Where you take melty chocolate bars and smoosh them into clean diapers and pass them around and trying to figure out what type of chocolate bar is in each. it makes me vomit looking at them and yet I've seen old grannies stick their fingers in it!!! *bwoah*

So yah, I'm going with the people who play that game likely have that kinda cake.

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBooks4mebooks4u

Yes, it's cake, and not what it looks like. BUT THERE ARE LINES YOU DON"T CROSS, people. Even if you're angling for a cake-wrecks appearance!

A mis-shapen, melted baby on a skewer. Multiple cakes for pregnant women featuring alcohol. Why don't they just write on the cakes "call in children's aid now!"?

Bun in the oven cake-- I'm willing to forgive these sort of "poo" sins due to their chocolately goodness :)

That witch is well done, even her hair. Odd, but... not enough to get them off cake duty. Unless it was a cake for fundamentalists who loathe Hallowe'en for it being a pagan holiday!

The booze-and-huggies cake I'd refuse on principle, but the diaper cake I'd refuse on nausea. This is the first cake I've seen here that made me squeamish! you know it's bad when a design makes people want to turn down CAKE!

WV: that last cake makes me want to ispinge.

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

To answer anonymous’' question, "wv" refers to the word verification you need to fill out in order to post your comment (look below the comment box). It’s supposedly random letters, but you can get some pretty funny ones.

for example:

My wv just happens to be "happan". As in "Bad Cake Happans".

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi B

Congradulashuns! Cake Wrecks made Time's list of Best Blogs of 2010!
http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/completelist/0,29569,1999770,00.html

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHuskymom

Anon at 11:36 a.m.-- WV is "Word Verification". Sometimes those letters are suitable for the topic or otherwise entertaining.

@Babs-- that was funny. "It's a gril" :)

And I'm glad that I'm not the only one who saw the first cake and the Coors cake and thought Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders. I work in public health, and was wondering if my job was affecting my cake-judgment! Come to think of it, I wonder if the person who ordered those cakes was affected too... could explain a lot

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

The bun in the oven cake makes me think there's a baby being inside squished and blood is coming down the sides. :: shudder ::

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Makes me glad I didn't have a baby shower. Seriously - WTF?

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJJ Sobey

It a gril,lol! The Coors and Huggies cake must actually be for Diaper Party. All the male friends of the dad have their own party and everyone has to bring a package of diapers. If so, I think that one is a great cake!

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnnette L.

These are so funny, and of course looks taste as well. I am think of making a similar cake for my son's next week birthday. thank you for the ideas

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlanyards

Oh my god ... that last cake completely dissolved any desire I might have to eat the last slice of cake in the fridge.
Just ... no. That cake should never have happened.

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterE.A.M.

"Cake duty"

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha . . .

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDJ

Oh my goodness!! I was laughing so hard my kids thought I was crying! Wow!! Love it!!

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter*Karleena*

I think that cake #4 is a "before and after" theme. Too many beers= diaper changing 9 months later!

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRhonda

I don't think any of the cakes are tasteful, but there is a reason for the beer/diapers cake. At a baby shower were men and women are invited, it is 'traditional' in some places for the women to bring regular gifts for the mom/baby and for the men to bring cases of beer for the dad.

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAdelle

Jen well done this is the second post you've done that makes me want to puke... the other one was the "veluza horn" vomit tornado

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKraken

Are u looking for any decorators? Would die to work at a place so creative!!

Margaret Trevino

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret Trevino

I'm slightly curious as to the anatomy of the baby depicted in the last cake, as the poop seems to be bracketed on both ends with pee... O_o

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

These people are freakin' brilliant. Do you realize that whomever brought these cakes... for the rest of their lives will only be trusted to bring a bag of chips to gatherings??!!??!

I am SO on this...

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

RE: the witch cake...i think someone forgot to order a cake for the baby shower and got stuck with the last one at the bakery!
I could see some of my friends ordering the diaper cake minus the disgusting pile of poo in the center....

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww! On so many levels, all of them.... Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!! but especially the last one.

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Hello! I wanted to let you know that your site is listed as one of the best blogs of 2010. I found it on CNN and it linked to the Time.com site. Here's the website..

http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/completelist/0,29569,1999770,00.html

You may have known this already.. but I thought I would pass it along!

I love your site and read it everyday! Thanks for the laughs!

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

Comments from my 10 y/o daughter looking over my shoulder:

first cake - "Is that bonsai tree all icing? It's gorgeous! oh, wait, what's with those lips?" and it went downhill from there.

she has a 9 mo old baby brother, so she readily identified the last cake. very disturbing, in a way.

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBeccy

Are you sure that first baby isn't on a PAPER CUTTER?? What the heck?!!!

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMags

Ummm...I don't have any kids, but on that last one, why is there a yellow stain on BOTH ends of the diaper? Poor kid.

Now I'm freaked out that I looked closely enough to notice that. And that I care if the cake is "accurate!"

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

In terms of cakes that have about make me lose my lunch, that last one is right up there with the ashtray cake. Klassy.

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterhalfbakedcake

Oh my...the first baby is either Mr. Bill's baby or the gun toting boyfriend in Wallace and Grommit's The Were Rabbit movie.

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLindy Leigh

Is the first one a baby on a grill?

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKarlyH

I would like to point out the researchs shows putting the diapers and the beer next to each other in the store boosts the sales of both, maybe that explains the huggies and bud cake...maybe?
Sara P

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Thanks so much for making me feel ill wreckers!

On the first one at least they didn't add grill marks onto the top implying that the little one had already been grilled on one side.

#2 Thanks, now I can't eat the bag of kisses I just got....

#3 What terrible use of black frosting....

#4 Beer and diapers do not mix. Neither does alcohol and babies!

#5 Just plain SHOULD NOT EXIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

Wow. I'm a midwife, and I thought I'd seen it all. The Crap n' Snap cake has finally rendered me dumbfounded.

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLC

I think the Coors/Huggies cake is incredibly funny. Obviously, if you need diapers then you already had the baby. So really FAS diseases don't really apply. I'd love to attend a baby shower thrown by that person. It would be guaranteed to be better than the normal, boring, "classy" showers we are forced to endure. "Cutesy" cakes are so overdone. I'm glad there are people out there willing to be unique and creative. I think it might be a "Raising Arizona" reference as well, but I'm not sure.

The "bun in the oven" cake disturbed me because of the oozing chocolate down the side. Is the cake bleeding? And I am simply "b"affled by the first cake. It must be an inside joke of some sort.

wv: usephy - People offended by the Coors/Huggies cake could usephy removal of the stick up their butt, which would probably result in something resembling the last cake.

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@ Half Assed Kitchen. Yup, corn would have been way easier to do. Just sprinkle some candy corn around. I'd hate to think that those peas might actually be real peas. Blecch!

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWolvie Girl

The first one's head reminds me of Telly Savalas in the Dirty Dozen.

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAndrew

That last one made my stomach turn. I definitely wouldn't let whoever showed up with the last one even come to anymore parties, let alone get the cake. That thing is a blacklist offense.

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMandy9r

I just changed two of that exact diaper from my twins this morning. The recent memory of the smell of said diapers makes looking at the picture even worse.

Thanks for my new-found diet plan: Remembering that picture when I'm contemplating eating cake.

Congratulations on being named one of the best blogs of 2010. You really are hilarious and it is a treat to read the blog!

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElisabeth

Oh no oh no oh no. A dirty diaper cake? WHAT IS THE WORLD COMNG TO?!?!?!

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAshley Bratty

I'm guessing the fourth cake celebrates the late night run to the all night mini market for both diapers and beer.

The last one is gross but you gotta give the baker credit for creating some extremely realistic poo. I still wouldn't have a slice of it.

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBree

Reminder to self ... do not read this blog while eating dinner.

That last one made me gack a little. Not saying it should be censored, though. Just ... wow.

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRosemary Wessel

Yeah, that last one is scary and disgusting. And I'm with Anonymous @5:32--what's with the yellow stain on both ends? Lazy parenting at its worst?

"She just peed...it seems like such a waste of a diaper. I know, I'll just flip it around!"

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBridget

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