My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The Number Won

Hey, guys! Number 1 here, and it's my birthday!! I am so excited to have my first birthday as a Cake Wrecks writer. What wreckiness will I get to witness FIRST HAND this year?!? I can't wait. I keep imagining Jen ordering me a cake with some sort of numerical wreckery like "Numbered One," "1 Number," "1# One," "Nummer Won," or "Numb Are Want in pink icing." So in that spirit, here are some other Wrecks whose days are numbered.


Maybe it's celebrating Mr. Big's 13th episode of "Sex in the City?"


Yeah...probably not.
(Next to "Big," it should read, "off-center.")



At least they wrote a big "13" though. It would have been doubly wreckalicious if they wrote it all tiny-like...


...which brings me to:


In this case, "Giant 57" = "Giant empty space and 57 rainbow sperm."



A very merry unbirthday to this guy:

Hey, who's counting?



Here's how Kelly got a brand new nickname:

(Give it a minute.)


It could be an inspirational cake, though, if you just tweak the punctuation:

"Asbigas, you can make it! 30! Happy Birthday."


There's really no excuse, Ricki M., Jane R., Callie B., and Kelly (A.K.A. Asbigas.) These cakes are a giant number #2! With pink stars. And frosting flowers under neat.


UPDATE: I got my wish!! Here are the cake mounds Jen and John got me for my birthday:*


*Carrot jockey not included.

They were pretty awesomely wrecky (note the "#1") but MAN, did they taste good. Jen and I were kinda bummed that they removed the cupcake wrapper before frosting them; that would have made a perfect wreck! Thanks again, guys!


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Reader Comments (76)


*shaking head*

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

poor Asbigas - never gonna live that one down!!!

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterT

Happy Birthday!

And what are all those holes in that first cake? Are a million little ants going to pour out of them when someone starts to cut the cake?


July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Happy Birthday!
I will totally have to ask for Mashed potato boob cakes for my birthday now. I'm sure my mom would approve.

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hey, today's my dad's birthday, too! (He's 86.) Happy birthday to both of you.

And I love the asbigas you can make it 30 cake. Giant 57 is pretty dang good too.

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterA Paperback Writer

Happy Birthday #1!

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJim Todd

Happy Birthday #1!!!

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenniffer

Hey, it's my birthday too!!! Happy birthday to you!

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

Happy birthday, Number 1! May you have many more.

The "Asbigas" cake is my favorite today. Really, really? The wreckerator thought that was part of the inscription? Scary, and a bit depressing... The black edging looks gross, too - blech.

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnne-Marie

good grief - i'm reading asbigas as as-bi-gas instead of as-big-as....took me a minute there...

OMG... who comes up with this stuff?

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermn_me

Happy Birthday !

It's been said before, but who on earth HIRES these people to decorate cakes? And don't they look at it once they're done and wonder, " Hmmm, what does "Asbigas" mean???. Maybe I should call and check."

And, what is up with all the sperm-related decorations? Must be they teach that in Cake Wreck School - spelling, English language skills, not so much!

Thanks for a good laugh.

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterofsageandsepia

Big 13. I count 16 holes in that cake where someone got carried away with the candle placement, then took them all out except (1). took me a minute, but I finally got it! (shaking head)

See my Cake Wrecks Tribute Songs at:

Sharon's Edible Art

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

Thank you to the commenter who left the as-big-as comment...I just couldn't, for the life of me, get beyond as-bi-gas!

...must need more coffee...

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think most people would appreciate having the no # bday!

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMeg G.

I'm confused - who wrote this post, if not Jen or John? Who's birthday is it? Happy birthday anyway! Great wreakalicious cakes today!!

wv delusi. These wreaktators must have been delusi when they made the cakes!

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Happy birthday!

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

I think someone started to put candles on the first cake and then made the wreckiest decision to just write it out...without smoothing the icing...Way to Go!!! We appreciate the opportunity to laugh at your misjudgement!

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think I will have to write a novel, just so I can name a character Asbigas.

WV andemb. I started writing a novel andemb I named the hero Asbigas.

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

My family refers to pretty much every birthday as "the big [number]," such as when I turn the big two-nine this year. Put a dash between the 1 and the 3, and Big 13 would totally fly in our family.

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCathie

Happy birthday! :)

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNYCGitl

I am confused to...who did write this post?

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Happy B-day to Anne-Marie, the #1 Cake Wrecksistant!

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHuskymom

I was waiting for some nice yellow icing to go with that No. 1 :-(.
Asbigas could be one of those good nonsense words we have to type to submit comments. Made my day, heh, heh, heh.


July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Happy birthday, Number 1! :) Hope you also got some not-wrecky cake!

As far as today's wrecks are concerned, I can only shake my head and say "Oi..." :P

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

In defense of the fact that it took me longer than a minute to decipher "asbigas," I've not yet had coffee!

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLarissa

I love that Asbigas made it to 30!! What a wonderful achievement. People do name kids oddly these days. Y'never know.

I really had to wonder about the "Big 13" - Could have been asked for that way, but the holes left from removing the candles... whole 'nother story. I'm crossing my fingers that was done to get a better pic of the wreck, post blow-out.

Happy birthday 1#! I'm sure my hubby would love the carrot cake blobble.I must thank you for all the ideas you give me. He will, too.

I'll never get asked to make cakes for anyone again. Thank you.


abeetumi? You really want a cake that looks like a bee tumi?

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hapy Bithday Nubber Won!

Asbigas....wasn't he one of the Fellowship of the Ring?

Giant 57...that just made me sad....

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

Hey All! Anne-Marie here! As much as I would loooooove my b-day to be today, alas, it is not. I have to wait till May for my buttercreamy happy day :(

Happy Birthday Number One!

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Wrecksistant

Hi Number1---Happiest of happy birthdays to you (and Paperback Writer's dad and to Beth.)

Adore "asbigas" and my-just-home-from-work-brain thought that one could stretch the meaning to make it a cake for a Mom & just born premmies:
Asbigas you can! 30 (weeks)! Happy Birthday!

Wv: eleds: sometimes making sense eleds me

Terrell (aka NiteNurse)

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNiteNurse

Thank goodness for other people's comments. I couldn't for the life of me figure out Asbigas. :P

Happy birthday, Number 1!!

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSariah

Great post, #1. I really liked all those wrecks (as wrecks, i mean, not as cakes). Couldn't find the #1 on your birthday mounds until i looked twice. I thought they were random leaves.

We used to celebrate unbirthdays at our house. My sister always got an unbirthday card on my birthday and vice-versa. Let's hear it for unbirthday cakes! You could have one any time. It's always not somebody's birthday.

BTW, on a side note, I was unable to post yesterday--blogger kept telling me my WV was incorrect.

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKeeley

Asbigas...snort! Too funny! what do you think the person who ordered the cake said when he/she picked it up? I can only imagine.

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Have a very joyeux anniversaire, Number 1!

And the 'as big as' cake really takes...the cake. :-P

-French Bean

Happy Birthday and all, but this just made me appreciate Jen and John all the more. Their writing is actually funny. Sorry.

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

So, when the persons who submit these images go to the bakery, and discover these errors, they just pay for them and take them home? Why do these things that were obviously inscribed by semi-literates EVER make it out of the store? As amusing as these are to me, this sort of incompetence is unacceptable, and there is no way in hell I would pay for it.

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatenik

Anonymous, Jen & John have assistants who help with the blog. There's Number One (whose first name is also Jen, but she is not *the* Jen), and Anne-Marie.

Hope this helps!

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterandie

Happy Birthday #1!! Always enjoy your posts! ~ Rock on!



July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

yes... I'm glad you said "give it a minute" because I had to sound it out and let it sink in....

Poor Asbigas.... That totally sucks! LOL wow.

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

Glad to hear I wasn't the only one for whom it took just a minute to figure out Asbigas (Spanish name? Name of a company?). When I did--I laughed out loud. Perfect. Brilliant. Hilarious.

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

hey, Happy Birthday Number 1! It's my dad's birthday, too, and he's the big 50 today. I just called my mom and asked her if she's doing something for a cake for dad, and she said she was. I'm sure he won't get a wreck, though. ever since I started reading this blog, though, I've always wanted a wreck for my birthday. lucky you!

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaura P. There are no words (literally, that's NOT a word!).

And the black icing is not my first choice either. Blah! They may not make it past 30; that stuff can't be good for one's innards.

'Giant 57'--is it the 57th anniversary of the movie 'Giant'?

Wreck on, wreckorators! You give us so much joy (and head-scratching, trying to figure out what you were thinking).

PS Happy Birthday #1 =) May your birthday be un-wrecky!

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterladyrazorsharp

I am still laughing!! Thanks so much for this! 'Asbigas'

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie Miller

Oh come on..they HAD to go back to the bakery and see the person that wrote "asbigas" and ask them "whatwhereyouthinking".

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh man, asbigas. That took me a while.

Happy birthday, Number 1! Now tell me... *fierce grimace* Whooo.. does.. number 1.. work.. for??"

WV: 'dabbelti' -- "Woah, man, that insult was below dabbelti!"

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

About all those candle holes in the Big 13 cake:
I'm thinking the decorator did NOT put the candles on at all, it was the people who bought the cake. Then they decided to take a photo, but all the candles were in the way so they had to take them back off.

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBin

"mashed potato boob cakes"--thanks, Anonymous, you made me laugh!! (and so did this whole post)

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKristin

Does it say something about my geekyness that I thought it must be Commander William T. Riker's (Jonathan Frakes) birthday?

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlia

I believe Asbigas was the name of the evil god summoned up in Ghost Busters.

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Happy Birthday Number One! Best cake that i see in my life!
very merry , ha-ha-ha ! sting beside me such then was not!

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterfree forex signals

Whoops! My mistake. Always thought #1 was John (as in Star Trek's William Riker). I didn't know you had assistants helping with the Blog. Perhaps you could leave a note under FAQ who #1 really is (and put back the trash can option so I can sneak quietly out of here without looking like a fool) :)

Sharon's Edible Art

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

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