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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Aug252010

A Lesson in Español

Hola! Hello! I'm Dora! Soy Dora! Can you say Dora? Muy bueno! Will you join me on my cake adventure today? Soy un mucho kaka adventuroso el manana? Si! Vamos!


Oh no! Boots has escaped from my backpack and is lost in the woods! El sabatos escapada en la foresta. Will you help me find him?

...

Great! Let's put on our magic masks that will help us find Boots! El findos de monkey!


Perfecto! Can you say "serial killer?" голяма работа! Now we can see through the trees and find Boots! El seeya de fromage en ravioli!

Look! There he is! Vous les vous en la baguette, sil vous plait!

C'mon, Boots! Jump back into my backpack! We can continue our adventure! Donde esta el gato caliente gordita en la bicyclette!

Oh no! Boots got scared and ran further into the woods! We need to find him! Mondo monkey lookey lookey!

Hurry! Que mucha don Toyota Hyundai von Schmellingberg! Senor nacho libre des sombrero el Salma Hayek? Dos frijoles! Mucho grande!  

Hey! There's Boots now! He's made it through the woods and is flying a plane back home! El esta makey no sense at allos! Let's catch a ride!


Thanks for the ride, Boots! It's great to have you back home. Willkommen to los hermana! We wouldn't have found you without the help from our viewers at home! Son tan estupidos!

 

I'm so happy! Feliz cumpleaños!


Come back next week, mi amigos, when Boots and I go to night school! Soy en dos tres dental hygienists! Adios!

 

Por favor don esta el Tori, Lauren H., Rachel W., Kat D., Danielle B., e Dan H. Muy grande el biadorenos le trejamos via monkeytown! (As far as I know, "biadorenos le trejamos" translates into nothing at all... just to save you time on Google translate.)

Update!

John's helpful translation guide.
Hola- I'm pretty sure that means hello.
Backpack- That's a type of sack you wear over your shoulders.
Baguette- A type of bread.
Feliz cumpleaños- Merry Christmas.
Por favor mantenganse alejado de las puertas- No idea.

« Great Wrecks In Store | Main | Here's Your Sprinkles »

Reader Comments (167)

ROFL!! PLEASE STAND CLEAR OF THE DOORS!!! Looove the Disney monorail Spanish thrown in

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMegan D

To properly do a Dora post, you must type everything in CAPS... she never speaks below a yell.

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Es muy brilliant. :D
I don't think I could love you guys more.

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSariah

Poop Adventures? *snort* Kaka or Caca is Spanish slang for feces.

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJust a Mom

You can purchase all these cakes and many more wonderful items at our new bakery, Chateau de la Casa Haus!

Just make sure you stand clear of the doors! Vamanos!

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnne S

I wish I didn't know that the cake with the plane was supposed to be Madagascar 2. Although, the only recognizable thing on it was the plane.

I hope it didn't land on Dora. Oh wait, yes I do.

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Unfortunately, I could hear Dora's shrill voice shouting all of that in my head. Except for the Russian (?) because I can't even imagine what that would sound like.

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

For the couple of comments correcting the translation of Feliz cumpleaños...I think John was just being sarcastic to add to the humor...

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCameron

All the Spanish I remember I learned from Sesame Street. Despite that, this translated very well.

Oh, and be sure to stay clear of the doors. And the Dora wrecks! *shudder*

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterladyrazorsharp

Oh dear gods, help me, I'm laughing so hard, I can't breathe.

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMay

This is simply a-Dora-bull; I can only say...ecties, mi camarones! Buenos manzanillas en su banos!

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Dora the Explorer- teaching your kids Spanglish since 2000

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter-Sea Nymph-

I love your writing, Jen! I was so interested in the words, I didn't pay much attention to the cakes, lol! I'm going back to take a good look now.
WV: cakeyde Dora es una cakeyde monstruo!

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSelena

I lived in Miami for a few years, and thanks to my Cuban co-workers and having to deal with Canadians (who all seemed to be from Eastern Europe), I understood this post perfectly!

Ay que rico!

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne

Love this! I had tears runnign down my face from laughing!

As for Jon's translation:
Feliz cumpleaños- HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Feliz Navidad - Merry Christmas

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!! Best episode of Dora ever!!! I love all the Spanglish, Spanish, French, and Russian. She's so international these days.

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I feel like I just read a poorly translated Chinese instruction manual into multiple languages! Hahaha, Dora would be proud.

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMaru

This reminds me of the SNL TV Fun House "Maraka" spoof on Dora. If you have not seen it, do google search for it. (The NBC.com video is the clearest).

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Why, oh why does Boots have a uterus? Maybe that's why he looks so psychotic....

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRascalmom

Thanks again for the laughs Jen!

And only three people felt compelled to correct your "translations" - I was expecting "Epcot el Segundo"!! People - it's HUMOR!

Good lord...

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

I never say this but OMG!!!

I have tears running down my face and am choking from the laughter over the 'translations'.

Holy manglish of all nations, Batman, er..Jen!

The cakes are scary enough, just trying to be Dora, but I have to admit I really didn't look at the wrecks. I was too astounded by the text.

~~Di

wv - coulnest -- this post was the mucho coulnest of all.

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Por favor mantenganse alejado de las puertas- No idea.

Hilarious!

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJulieLeto

What's up with the "Hang in Here" cake?

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Actually, feliz cumpleaños = Epcot too ☺☻☺☻☺

WV: felmodae. I fell off mo daebed laughing por este posto
¡Feliz navidad!

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmapola

O.M.G. My poor sons have been scarred for life, seeing their mother nearly die choking on a gummi bear while reading this post...

WV: whobiano- Not sure what it means but I'm pretty sure it belongs in the post somewhere...

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRobyn

OMG...can't breathe...laughing so hard...hilarious!!

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

LOLOLOLOL Yep there went coffee directly out my nose onto the keyboard.

But Oh So Worth it! (As Always!!)

Y'all are the highlight of my day. Thank you!

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMrs Mom

Feliz cupleanos is Happy Birthday, not Merry Christmas. Nice try, though. xD

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

"Please stand clear of the sliding glass doors."...seriously the only thing I remember from 7 years of Spanish...

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Bi-lingual (or quad-lingual?) snarkiness. LOVE IT!

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelyssa

OMG today's post was hilarious!!

The last cake looks like Dora sticking her tongue out and showing us an infection/growth/food particle underneath. She should be more concerned about the mole on the right. Pauvre, pobre Dora.

elatian: One who is elated. Unlike those that received cakes like these.

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hey, John, you might not have realized this, so I thought I'd be helpful and bring it to your attention, but Feliz Cumpleanos = Happy Birthday, not Merry Christmas. Duh.

'Cause you weren't trying to be funny or anything, of course.

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAllison

This one made my head hurt.

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterValerie

You know those cakes are F'ed up when my 4 year old who LOVES Dora can't even figure out who those are supposed to look like.

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I always wondered about the log ride myself. Even after living in South America I never could translate: "Deramoni sersen. Tados, por favor"

My favorite thing about Dora are the inane pauses. Are they annoying or not?
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
( blink, blink )
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Right! . . . They ARE annoying!

!Gracias, mon ami, por una posta mas funnisimo!

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Nolans

Take the monorail over to the Magic Kingdom, where the Tomorrowland Speedway recording will admonish you, "No choque el auto de enfrente."

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSaralyn

Can someone please explain to me what is so funny about today's post? Why the massacre of foreign languages? What does this have to do with Dora the explorer? I've never watched Dora, what is it all about? I simply don't get the joke.

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBluefairy

No day is complete without 1. Cake Wrecks and 2. a Flight of the Conchordes reference. Woh hoh hoh....baguette! GOSH I LOVE MULTITASKING. thx guys

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterClever Fingers

I only took one term of Spanish in college. I got some of it but certainly not all of it. Tomorrow's post should be a translation of this post! Lol. Good work. Because of Dora my 3-year old chooses to speak spanish instead of english, the language the rest of her family speaks. Maybe she can translate this one for me... hmm it's a thought... ;)
-Alyssa

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKevin Phair

OMG! That's got to be one of the funniest things I've seen in ages!!! And some of the scariest cakes!

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTori Lennox

I LOVE John's handy dandy translation guide!! (with the ref to the wdw monorail!!! "Porfavor mantenganse alejados de las puertas" was one of the first spanish phrases I learned! That, and "Donde esta el baño")

Yiskah "Si se puede!" Petit

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterYiskah Sarah

OMG!!!! Jajajaja (cause that's the way you laugh in Spanish)

I loved today's post. I live in Chile (proud home of the chilean snuggly bug, if you remember that post) and I'm an English Translator/Interpreter... so you can just imagine how hard I laughed today.

Also, ever wondered what "maraka" stands for?... jajaja, homework my queridos amiguitos.

Mucho felicitacion por sus bueno sitio internés. Yo corazón it.

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercalisto

"Vous les vous en la baguette, sil vous plait!" ... I have no idea what you meant, but at least you're polite. I love it!

Costumeholic: You mean "Donna la Culturiste"? It IS hilarious!

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaurie

I agree with Dani, your spanish is perfect for a gringa tonta. I bet you pull it out every time you drink a margarita.

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That last cookie monstrosity seems to be implying that Dora has Treacher-Collins Syndrome. Poor girl. Who knew?!?!!

WV: prathyt - Leave us all prathyt these wreckorators seek other lines of work. Soon.

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

30 some years ago I took several languages in colleges and ended up with a French major and Spanish minor. With very little practicing since then, I understood your narration perfectly! Bien hecho, tres bien!

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterfreddie

Please stand clear of the doors. Por favor mantenganse alejado de las puertas.

Yup. That's all I need.

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDanielle

Hi Bluefairy,

No problem. The show, "Dora the Explorer," teaches kids Spanish by constantly translating much of what she says from English to Spanish. I think it's completely awesome and I'm sad that I didn't have something so useful when I was a kid.

The joke today was really that this brilliant child Dora, who probably speaks twelve languages, just decided to mess with everybody and mangle them all together. We were honestly hoping that most folks, regardless of linguistic skill, would recognize some Spanish, French, German, Russian and gibberish and make the connection that we did it on purpose.

My update, which was in response to someone wanting a translation, was meant in jest as well. You know...

You can make some of the people laugh all of the time...

Have a fantastic day!

john

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjohn (the hubby of Jen)

Aye Dios Mio! Pero es que la gente no entienden el humor suyo. Feliz Cumpleños!

Great one today!

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaaren

High school Spanish was worth it just so I could understand this hilarious post, LMAO

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

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