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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Aug252010

A Lesson in Español

Hola! Hello! I'm Dora! Soy Dora! Can you say Dora? Muy bueno! Will you join me on my cake adventure today? Soy un mucho kaka adventuroso el manana? Si! Vamos!


Oh no! Boots has escaped from my backpack and is lost in the woods! El sabatos escapada en la foresta. Will you help me find him?

...

Great! Let's put on our magic masks that will help us find Boots! El findos de monkey!


Perfecto! Can you say "serial killer?" голяма работа! Now we can see through the trees and find Boots! El seeya de fromage en ravioli!

Look! There he is! Vous les vous en la baguette, sil vous plait!

C'mon, Boots! Jump back into my backpack! We can continue our adventure! Donde esta el gato caliente gordita en la bicyclette!

Oh no! Boots got scared and ran further into the woods! We need to find him! Mondo monkey lookey lookey!

Hurry! Que mucha don Toyota Hyundai von Schmellingberg! Senor nacho libre des sombrero el Salma Hayek? Dos frijoles! Mucho grande!  

Hey! There's Boots now! He's made it through the woods and is flying a plane back home! El esta makey no sense at allos! Let's catch a ride!


Thanks for the ride, Boots! It's great to have you back home. Willkommen to los hermana! We wouldn't have found you without the help from our viewers at home! Son tan estupidos!

 

I'm so happy! Feliz cumpleaños!


Come back next week, mi amigos, when Boots and I go to night school! Soy en dos tres dental hygienists! Adios!

 

Por favor don esta el Tori, Lauren H., Rachel W., Kat D., Danielle B., e Dan H. Muy grande el biadorenos le trejamos via monkeytown! (As far as I know, "biadorenos le trejamos" translates into nothing at all... just to save you time on Google translate.)

Update!

John's helpful translation guide.
Hola- I'm pretty sure that means hello.
Backpack- That's a type of sack you wear over your shoulders.
Baguette- A type of bread.
Feliz cumpleaños- Merry Christmas.
Por favor mantenganse alejado de las puertas- No idea.

« Great Wrecks In Store | Main | Here's Your Sprinkles »

Reader Comments (167)

Es la Worrrrd Jourrrrrney!!!!!

LMAO! Gracias, gracias, amiga!

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersunlizzard

You guys are hilarious! At first I thought you were actually trying to write Spanish, then I couldn't stop giggling..

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNatalie

I, like many others, didn't even look at the cakes because I was enjoying the commentary so darn much!

(I honestly feel pity for all the commenters who didn't understand the fact that you staged Language Mash-Up on PURPOSE, and have been trying to "correct" you or demean your language skills! Don't be downhearted - most of us got it, and most of us really appreciate the intelligent humor!)

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Gevalt, what a funny post! OK, now that I've covered pretty much all my Yiddish.

I liked I was getting more and more lost with the "Spanish" and then you had a Lost cake. And how you worked in all those random, meaningless phrases in a very amusing way. Like others here, I forgot to actually look at the cakes...

PS Since everyone's commenting on the spanish "error" in translation, I'll bring Vous les vous... mangez? habitez? perdrez quelque chose? je pense que vous oubliez d'inclure un verbe!!)

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

I say! Is that a giant Epcot bouncing across the countryside? It is! Bueno! Da svedanya!

WV - itorphou - one of the less well known Greek islands.

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermorriganscrow

(my english is very bad. sorry for the mistakes ñ_ñU)oh my god... I'm spaniard and I can't understand anything of this translation :S well, at least you tried do it, well done ^^. Well, in order to help you, I try to explain the last words of your post (do you say post or other word when you write in a blog? ñ_ñU sorry...)
Hola: yes, "hola" is hello in spanish XD and if you write "ola", this means "wave". Several young people writes "hola" without h when they're chatting, but is a big mistake! but, unfortunately, they do it ú_ù...
Backpack: in spanish we don't use this word XD (logically XD)
Baguette: yes, is a french word. Baguettes are a long and narrow breads (and are very tasty XD In spain we have baguettes too XD but this bread is tipic in france)
Feliz cumpleaños: what!? "feliz cumpleaños" is happy birthday O_O and merry chistmas is "feliz navidad"
Por favor mantenganse alejado de las puertas: Stay away from doors

this page is awesome XD I love it. Well, I see you soon ^^

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSera

Lol, I love how you lapsed into French and German there. Having lived in Florida, currently living in Acadie-land, and having a mother who speaks both Dutch and German, I totally appreciated it!

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Are a lot of the cakes you find from Krogers? Everytime I go in there I see at least fifteen Cake Wreck worthy creations.

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Can't post...too busy crying!

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKersley Fitzgerald

i shouldnt be reading this while im at reception.

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnwesha

Monorail FTW!

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Serial killer is exactly what I thought too!!.. -scary but OMG you outdid yourself go take a happy break you deserve it. Coming from a family that is part Bolivian and once married to a woman from Germany also, I found this so funny... hellish cakes but so funny, thanks!

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercaferacers66

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BilingualBonus

"Por favor, mantengense alejado de las puertas"... wonder where you've heard that before? *cough cough Monorail*

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLilianna

Hola, etc.

Loved the commentary today, but I seriously question the cake/cookie that had the plane flying over the inflamed eyeball. What?

So long, or in the word of verification Adevali

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

110 comments are too many to read through to see if anyone else corrected this but Feliz Cumpleanos is Happy Birthday. Or was the joke? Either way, scary Dora pictures. My 2 year would cry. Or not.

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErinMichelleBKE

This is the correct translations.

Feliz cumpleaños- Happy Birthday

Por favor mantenganse alejado de las puertas- Please stay away from the doors

Just so ya know ^>^

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercrystal

I have never laughed so hard in a long, long time!

Thank you for being the most "gifted linguist" on the planet.

Dora the Serial Killer? Definitely.

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlex

"Por favor mantenganse alejado de las puertas- No idea." Hey, isn't that what the recording on the Disney Monorail says before the doors shut?

Kellie

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. Marino

Aros con pollo, what a brilliant post!

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi

Escritas en español como mi esposo, who is a man who tried to cheat with my notes in Spanish class in high school.

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFanboy Wife

So. Friggin. Hilarious. Thanks for brightening my day. I just had to put my sweet dog to sleep and this has been the first thing that made me laugh in three days. Thanks, guys.

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMissNay

WTF?!

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yo Quiero Taco Bell?

Ha ha, that was funnier and funnier as I read it. I was laughing so much my hubby had to come over and read it too!

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary

OHMYGOD. The more I read the more I started getting quiet and making sobbing noises in between--this is what I sound like when I laugh so hard I can't breathe.

Loved. <3

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

First off I absolutely LOVE your site! Especially the messed up order cakes. Today's post, however, had me crying with laughter! That's a first for me and cakewrecks!!! Thanks for the laughs, I needed that!

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelley

Feliz Cumpleanos means Happy Birthday

Feliz Navidad means Merry Christmas

Just thought it would help :)

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJewel

Bwahahaha! The Spanish was awesome!

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSandi

I know that last note in the updates! It's the thing the monorail says! "Please keep yourself away from the doors." Oh, man, my brother and I would repeat that sooooo much on our family trips to Disney. And I remember being really excited to write it out when I took Spanish in high school.

-Sara

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersnye

I'm a translation grad student doing an internship at a translation company. My language combination is Spanish and English.

Part of me wanted to laugh. Part of me wanted to shake my head. A small part of me wanted to cry.

I gave in to that first part, as well as a small bit of the second.

By the way, anyone amused by this should look up the "One Semester of Spanish Love Song" on YouTube.

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDale

For some reason, I'm not amused at my native tongue being raped and thrown in a dumpster. I guess I'm not cool.

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

#1 Happy Birthday, Delani, from Dora the Zombie! Delani? It's ok, it's just a cake. There's no reason to be afraid of a cake. Although...

#2 Creepy. 'Dora Explores Crystal Lake', perhaps? "What could possibly go wrong?" (Also known as the question every wreckerator asks before picking up the piping bag.)

#3 Is the (squirrel? Monkey? Squirrel monkey?) hanging from a strand of Christmas lights? That would explain the facial expression, at least. What explains the remainder of 'there' not bonding to the cookie?

#4 I know there are cupcakes in there, somewhere. I'll give it a 'patooie' just to be on the safe side.

#5 A scene from the last book in the series: 'Dora Explores The Interior of an Active Volcano'. "Ay! Muy muy caliente!" How tall is that cake, anyway? Check the sides...

#6 That's just wrong.

That last cookie would give a parent nightmares, @Jen B. Between an international-scale sugar rush and dark brown icing that is guaranteed to go everywhere and once smeared, is indistinguishable in appearance from...

@Libby, how about 'Dora Explores Parental Authority'? Maybe good ol' Roy G. Biv was piloting the plane on the volcano mission. Heh heh.

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

As usual, made me laugh, snort and tear up.. love it! Specially the "translation" jajaja.. ¡Me gusta!

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermusikartlvr

Anon @ 1:17,

So is your native tongue English, Spanish, French, German, or Russian?

And really. Raped?

Whatever.

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You know, this is the first post where I didn't even see the pictures the first time through. I was just focused on the words. Your awesomeness and multi-lingual banter is unrivaled.

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Lol I have never laughed so hard in my life. Those cakes combined with the language lesson..lmao. Must stop laughing and I don't even speak spanish yet I understood some of that.. those cakes scared me though. They are perfect for Halloween and I can't wait to see what happens then.

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

I can't stand Dora, but the Spanish (and every other language used) made me giggle out loud. My colleagues must think I'm nuts :)

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNoortje

When doing art, original or cover, I always have an idea of what I want. When it comes to my personal creations, I am not so fussy.
When it comes to cover art (copying an original) I tend to be fussy. If it doesn't look near the original thing, I ditch it. If it is close, I ask for a second opinion. In either case, like this, these guys should have asked for more than 20 opinions, all of which would have been 'forget it!'s.

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commentershikishinobi

"por favor man-tango blah blah blah"

That's the start of our day at Disney World!

If it weren't for the super awesome t shirt (which I still regret not buying) I wouldn't know how to spell it!!

LOL

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterstaxia

Hey, gang, "Feliz cumpleaños" doesn't mean "Merry Christmas." It means "Ich bin ein Epcot."

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Let me sum up these comments:
Half of them correct the "Spanish." I can't figure out how these people wandered into a humor blog.
The other half are like, "oh, goody, do you hate Dora too?" We need more of these, please.

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Que risa!!! Me encanto! Posiblemente lo mas gracioso que has escrito hasta ahora. En serio no aguante la risa, demasiado bueno.

Sayonara namaste.

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commentergabi

Best. Post. EVER.

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

I don't take spanish at school, I take chinese, but I'm PRETTY sure that spanish didn't make much sense :)

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This is utter hilarity. Utter.

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLorissa

@John,

Thanks for the explanation! Now that makes sense. But I do hope the actual, non-baked-monster Dora speaks better than that :))

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBluefairy

To Anon @ 1:17

We all choose what does and does not offend us.

People mess up English ALL THE TIME and they supposedly speak it as their native language. I'm not sure how something so trivial could offend you.

I loved this. And actually want to punch Dora less because of it.

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterE.

Nunca debes comer cake de Mexico. Siempre va a tener insectos al dentro. Yo lo se de experiencia personal.

http://www.danoah.com" rel="nofollow">Single Dad Laughing

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSingle Dad Laughing

haha! "please stand clear of the door!" love the disney nod :o)

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Ferber Family

You also forgot "golyama rabota" which means "big deal" in Bulgarian! Yeah...I speak it. Booya!

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commenternelsonturf

Darupija (sp?) means "big black frog" in Lithuanian and it is the worst thing that you can call somebody!

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBridget Delaney

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