My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

A Lesson in Español

Hola! Hello! I'm Dora! Soy Dora! Can you say Dora? Muy bueno! Will you join me on my cake adventure today? Soy un mucho kaka adventuroso el manana? Si! Vamos!

Oh no! Boots has escaped from my backpack and is lost in the woods! El sabatos escapada en la foresta. Will you help me find him?


Great! Let's put on our magic masks that will help us find Boots! El findos de monkey!

Perfecto! Can you say "serial killer?" голяма работа! Now we can see through the trees and find Boots! El seeya de fromage en ravioli!

Look! There he is! Vous les vous en la baguette, sil vous plait!

C'mon, Boots! Jump back into my backpack! We can continue our adventure! Donde esta el gato caliente gordita en la bicyclette!

Oh no! Boots got scared and ran further into the woods! We need to find him! Mondo monkey lookey lookey!

Hurry! Que mucha don Toyota Hyundai von Schmellingberg! Senor nacho libre des sombrero el Salma Hayek? Dos frijoles! Mucho grande!  

Hey! There's Boots now! He's made it through the woods and is flying a plane back home! El esta makey no sense at allos! Let's catch a ride!

Thanks for the ride, Boots! It's great to have you back home. Willkommen to los hermana! We wouldn't have found you without the help from our viewers at home! Son tan estupidos!


I'm so happy! Feliz cumpleaños!

Come back next week, mi amigos, when Boots and I go to night school! Soy en dos tres dental hygienists! Adios!


Por favor don esta el Tori, Lauren H., Rachel W., Kat D., Danielle B., e Dan H. Muy grande el biadorenos le trejamos via monkeytown! (As far as I know, "biadorenos le trejamos" translates into nothing at all... just to save you time on Google translate.)


John's helpful translation guide.
Hola- I'm pretty sure that means hello.
Backpack- That's a type of sack you wear over your shoulders.
Baguette- A type of bread.
Feliz cumpleaños- Merry Christmas.
Por favor mantenganse alejado de las puertas- No idea.

« Great Wrecks In Store | Main | Here's Your Sprinkles »

Reader Comments (168)

I don't know EXACTLY what that last bit means, but I know it plays every four seconds on the Walt Disney World Monorail...

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

Feliz cumpleaños- Merry Christmas
No, that's wrong, Feliz Cumpleaños actually means Happy Birthday

Por favor mantenganse alejado de las puertas...oh and that means please stay away from the doors...

I really laughed a lot though!

Love your blog!

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMartina

I believe that "Por favor mantenganse alejado de las puertas," means "Please make Alex's doors out of manganese."

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTychaBrahe

Looks like you snuck some Bulgarian in there with all that Spanish...!! You are very talented, how many languages is Dora teaching these days on TV?

Laura M.

August 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Cake Wrecks Reading Guidelines:
1. Don't read while drinking or eating.
2. Don't read during kids' nap time if you think they'd be awaken by loud bursts of laughter.

wv: swarios
I swarios, you guys es hilarioso!

August 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow... I'm from Mexico... so when I started reading this I was all... "Dios mio! No tiene cerebro esta mujer!" But then I realized you were kidding! I laughed so hard!! Dora la podadora no es querida en Mexico....

August 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTheAimee

So, in conclusion, you have the most excellent brain ever, dear Jen !

August 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTheAimee

"Por favor mantengas alejados de las puertas" is "please stand clear of the door" on the Monorail system at Disney World.

August 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Is it me, or shouldn't that first cake read "Hang ON"???? Sorry... have to ask... think I am going mad

August 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSylvia

Le sange est sur la table?

August 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNorkio

My bilingual brain just broke trying to make any sense of your Spanish. Tell John that for my cumpleanos, I want him to wish me feliz navidad. :P

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterishtheintrepid

Since everyone else has commented on how hilarious this entry is (grammatically incorrect, I know, but I'm too tired to think how to write it properly), and the translation corrections have been overdone by several people too lazy to read the previous posts to realize their input was entirely unnecessary, I just wanted to point out how the wreckerator of the last cake was clearly aware of the disaster s/he created, thus requiring the Dora the Explorer decoration so the recipient would know what they were receiving.

Do I get points for the longest run-on sentence?

wv: kawthe The kawthe of reading this blog while at work is that I have to pretend I'm not laughing, and to hide the tears streaming down my cheeks.

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTheOneOnTheRight

OMG! I could barely finish reading because I was laughing and crying so hard. I got a great ab workout from this. Boy, this has got to be the funniest thing ever created!

September 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Feliz cumpleanos means Happy Birthday.... LOL I love you guys though :)
-Michelle D.

October 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPetite-Amante

Lol what a poor looking monkey ! Oh my. xx

October 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

This very much made my day... My bf and I were cracking up translating the spanish! (especially when we saw some russian, french, and german mixed in...) it made absolutely no sense! At first we thought you just had problems with foriegn languages, then we ended up laughing so hard we cried.Thank you for the amusement!

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBailey


May 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterChartreuse

The comments that start out with "Oh, I'm not sure if you knew this, BUT..." then proceed to correct John or Jen about whatever it is that they posted, are my absolute favorite comments. XD
Um, yes. You can always rest assured that John and Jen DO in fact know whatever it is you feel so compelled to correct them about. You see, their sarcastic wit is just so finely honed that it flies right over the little heads of some... which I happen to find hilarious. :D
See: Did you know that your "Merry Christmas" is ACTUALLY "Happy Birthday?" commented approximately 167... THOUSAND times. XD

April 6, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBrandy

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