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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Aug062010

Send 'Em In

Wow, the blockbuster holidays just keep comin' this month: did you know it's national Clown Week?!?

Needless to say, the clowns of the world (the ones who wear make-up, I mean) couldn't be happier about the week-long celebration:

"Beat it, kid. I'm on a break."

Oh. Well, I mean, most of the clowns are excited. Why, just look at this giddy fella!

Tell me, Mr. Bubbles, have you ever felt more alive?

Mr. Bubbles?

Uh...sir? [honking rubber nose] Hello?


Well, maybe we'll just leave him to rest in peace, and move on to...

...uh, well, not this guy. He looks dead tired.


And I'm sure these two...severed heads... are just resting, too, kids. Ha. Ha. Erm...

Oh, look, here's a happy clown! So happy, in fact, he's gone cross-eyed!


(Give it a second.
Theeere
it is.)


On the other hand, he might be bleeding demised. You know, ceased-to-be. Expired and gone to meet his maker. Stiff, bereft of life, run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This may, in fact, be an EX clown.

Or he's just resting.

Well, no matter; here's a clown with a full LOAD of...uh...exuberance:

Wow, we've got a live one here! (And I think he needs a change.)


Happy Clown Week, Jennifer, Julie M., Heather B., Eve & Noelle, Ashley, & Kathryn H.! May all your pies fly true, your noses honk, and your cars maintain their TARDIS- like defiance of the laws of physics
.

« Wreck's This? The Musical | Main | Maybe He Likes Feet? »

Reader Comments (109)

It's also International Breastfeeding Week... I've never seen a breastfeeding cake, although I have no doubt they are out there...

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

What bothers me most about the last one is the price tag that makes it look like it is being sold at a garage sale.

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCrystal

I agree with John up there; definitely pining for the fjords.

There's not much creepier than a Scandinavian clown! http://www.bonbon-clown.dk/Bonbon_og_Tiinas_Hjemmesider/Fotos.html

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterClaire

#4 totally had me thinking of "It" (shudders)

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKim

He's pushing up the daisies!

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShalmeno

Can't sleep...clown will eat me!

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie Nielsen

I've never been afraid of clowns, and have enjoyed mocking my sister who is. I may have to repent.

Oh, and continuing the little-known remembrances...tomorrow is National Mustard Day.

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

LOL SOOO glad I'm not the only one that thought 'dirty diaper' at seeing that last one....

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWeyMama

This post makes me wonder if it's even possible to make a clown cake that isn't creepy. I thought about Pennywise throughout the entire post.

I hate to go all grammar goon on you, but you hit on one of my pet peeves... Those would be severed heads. The body has been decapitated. The head has been severed. There's no such thing as a decapitated head.

Okay, I feel better now.

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hah hah hah, love the Monty Python reference!

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJan

Hah hah, love the Monty Python reference!!

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJan H.

I was delighted to recognise the Dead Parrot sketch reference! Usually pop culture jokes pass right over my head.

"He's pinin' for the fjords."
"Pinin' for the fjords?!"

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBecca

Hah hah, love the Monty Python reference!

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJan

I've never been afraid of clowns, either, but I have always found them boring, if not annoying. (However, I do LOVE most of the clown acts in Cirque du Soleil shows.)

So, what's up with dead clowns showing up in bakeries all over the place? Do cake decorators hate clowns?

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBoy George

Dead Parrot! Love it!
I have to tell you though that that second clown is definitely going to give me nightmares tonight...

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMolly Malone

Yay for the Dead Parrot reference!

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Eeeeyuk, clowns are frightening enough as it is.....

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ok I thought a was a clown phobic before today, but this posting just completely sealed the deal for me....

check out my blog: nikkiscakery.blogspot.com

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter~Nikki~

I'm pretty sure that second-to-last one has, in fact, joined the Clown-car Eternal.

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

Dead parrot. Dead clown. Same thing.

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTeaLady

How many nightmares do you think this page will be responsible for this evening? : )

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

AIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*whimper*

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMinyassa

The only reason the cake is able to stay on the tray is that it has been nailed there!

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlivingjetlag

Gah! Creepy clowns!

I dislike clowns so much that when I took the Wilton course for cake decorating, I searched the web for any type of pick to place on top of the icing "body". I was successful and made creepy leprachauns instead. Score!

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterB

OK, anybody still want to argue that clowns are not inherently creepy?

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

... I never thought of clown cars in terms of TARDIS's before, and yet suddenly it makes sense.
Add that to the list of People Who Are Secretly Time Lords. Another person who makes this list is Mary Poppins (what? She's got the lamp in the bag... there's no way she isn't...).

Anyways. The dead clowns are disturbing. O.o

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShayna

I LOVE your Monty Python quotes!!

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy Christensen

Dr. who + clowns for-the-win!

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVeggieT

Python reference! YES! :D

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIngeborg

For the mass populus, clowns are scary. This may be, in fact, a wreckoraters attempt to make clowns look less frightening. So where is the cake clown car to pack all the dead clowns into so we can make just one trip to the cemetary?

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commentershikishinobi

Clown number 1 looks like he has rotten lettuce on his head. Mmmmm tasty. I think I'll be buying my cakes from Notlob from now on.

Word verification - poopwa. No I don't have any definitions for this one, I just thought it was kind of appropriate since clowns scare the crap outta me :D

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWolvie Girl

No no he's puckered out after a long squawk! He was pining for the fjords!

Sarah H

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think that one is pining for the fjords.

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret

Holy crap! Why are these clowns dead!? Clowns are scary enough without some poor soul having to eat the dead head of one!

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That first clown has some luscious lips. :D

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErdile

lol i needed the second to get the cross eyed joke....

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commentertiny purple elephant

I once saw w shirt that said can't sleep clowns will eat me. Maybe the cake designers today wore that

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

*twitching* THE HORROR! As a coulrophobe I like the idea of a "Dead Clown" week.

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah Schwerin

I don't get the whole fear-of-clowns thing, though I could be tempted in that direction by the first two. Remember the days of yore, when clowns had smiling eyes? Or eyes at all?

I wonder what would happen if Mr. Praline put 4,000 volts through these wrecks. (If he's still stuck between Ipswich and Bolton / Notlob, I'd be happy to volunteer.) Would they go 'VOOM'?

I'd ask if there are any Spam cakes, but given the literal-mindedness of wreckerators, I dread the answer.

@John, I agree on 'rung', per 'All The Words'.

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Ah, the Norwegian Blue... beautiful plumage!

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Ok I say Pennywise from IT got those clowns and killed them all in a variety of painful ways lol. Which leaves me here hiding under my bed with a flyswatter pretending it is a shotgun.. that movie and clowns now give me the creeps.

August 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

These cakes would be perfect to nosh on while watching "Killer Klowns for Outer Space".

August 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This blog is so funny!!!

August 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLena

Listen to y'all with your blatant clown hate. *sigh*

As an real life ex-clown (seriously), it saddens me. I should give you all a kick up the bum with my massive clown shoes ;o)

August 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLori @ RRSAHM

When my 4 year old daughter saw the last one she said, "Those are Snow White's clothes." I guess it was the blue/yellow combo.

August 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlawnajo

I'm even more afraid of clowns now... thanks.
I'll give you the name of my therapist so you can pay for my therapy now.

August 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMe!

Yay for being a nerd and getting
half of those cheeky references :)
Love your work.

Lucky for me, clowns creep me out. Unlucky for me, clown make-up will now remind me of copious amounts of icing, and may entice me to lick a clown's face.

...I'm not weird at all.

Heenlene is a word now? To one Wreckerator, it probably is.

August 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterProcrastinateher

national clown week? we have everything for everything...

August 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteredwinsiew

You know, I am just as creeped out by clowns as The Boob Nazi and many others who listed themselves "Anonymous" (and for good reason that they did!) but the fact that all of these bright cheery clowns are dead somehow makes it all better.

I feel compelled to say about the cross-eyed clown "Beautiful Plumage!"

August 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDrawn to Caricature

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