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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Sep172010

Internal Wisdom

We here at Cake Wrecks realize that often there are readers who simply. don't. get it. So, in an effort to "bring the funny" to our few humor-challenged readers, we have enlisted the services of our intern, Britnee, to help translate. To our regular readers: please bear with us. We will resume our regular posting tomorrow. And now, take it away, Britnee!


Like, OMG! You're totally gonna laugh. So, there's this cake, right?

See, what happened was, the guy that ordered the cake actually wanted actual FLOWERS on the cake. Like, in icing? And instead the DECORATOR wrote "and flowers." Right? Get it? O. M. G.!

And this is, like, totally hilarious:

LOL So, here, a guy wanted a cake to say "Schwager House" - which is totes redonk - but he wanted it written out in all capital letters. And get this: the decorator wrote "all caps" ON THE CAKE. Right there! In icing! On the cake! See it? HAHAHAHA! OMG, I gotta tell Kristy about this one.

Check this out: so, next, this lady, Madalene, wanted a cake for her son and some junk, and she, like, wanted the cake to say "#1" on it. Well, GUESS WHAT HAPPENED!?!

Hi-LAAAAAAAR-ious!!!

See, the cake says "#1 ON IT" ON the cake!!! HE TOTALLY WROTE IT ON THE CAKE!

ROFLMAOOOOOOOOO


And then there was this guy, Dennis? And he wanted a cake, for his mom's birthday? And she was like, turning 89, or whatever? So, he wanted an "89" in the corner? And do you know what happened?!?!??!

{{{dying with laughter}}}

The decorator WROTE OUT "89 IN THE CORNER!!!!!!!"

LOLOLOLOL!!!!

{catching breath...}

Okay, okay... but the most bestest one ever EVER... is when it was Ashlee's birthday, and her boyfriend wanted the cake to say "Happy Birthday Ashlee" and her name has two Es in it and OMG OMG OMG what do you think happened?!?

[hopping up and down] (This is going to be awesome!!! You are SO going to TOTALLY lose it!!!)

Wait.

I don't get it.


....

Well, here's John again.

[Sigh] Um, thanks, Britnee, for that thoughtful and extremely explanatory commentary. I hope all of our humor-challenged readers enjoyed it. And for the rest of you, allow me to end with an obscure math joke: Did you know that 8/5 of Americans aren't good with fractions? [Chortle]

Thanks to Will E., Chris O., Madalene W., Dennis W., and Robert H.

« Err Force | Main | Dueling Disasters »

Reader Comments (110)

I can't even believe the last one. Seriously, bakers? That's the best you could do?!?

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

that last one is surely the pinnacle of the surrealist movement in cake decorating

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I don't get it.

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I see something other than a cockroach. I can't believe you missed that.

No, wait, I think it's Epcot. See the Disney font?

Huh?

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

i predict that a few negative nancys (or is it 'nancies'?) are going to show up here and comment on your passive aggressiveness, and to remind you that the interwebs are ~srsbsns~ and that this post is all mean and whatnot.

i say, let them get their panties in a knot. it's more fun that way, y/n?

anyway, now that the formalities are out of the way, i love this blog. even the more controversial posts (because life is too short to take everything seriously).

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdanascully

I don't get it.

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I actually really like the border on the "#1 on it" cake. Makes me think either there are a bunch of artistic types with no brains for inscriptions, or the writing gets done by a different decorator. Probably the latter.

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterspoofmaster

Classic cake wrecks! I love it :-D

And another obscure math joke:
There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don't.

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne :-)

I loved how Britnee's comments? all ended in questions? because it makes me laugh when people actually talk that way? But like, this post was like, totally awesome and like, insanely hilarious! I loveeeeeddddddd ittttttttttt!

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCandace

I think Britnee deserves recognition for her enthusiastic contribution. Maybe a cake for "Britnee with two ees."

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarliO

Depressing. So many dumb people in the world.

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEG

I had to comment because of my WV today.

WV: "misspall" - It's almost too easy. It's like the WV heavens shown down just to make me giggle more.

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGiggleChief

Ashlee's cake looks like the same handwriting as "I want sprinkles".

Also, I've always wondered what the reason was for dribbling multi colored icing around the border of a cake and calling it "birthday decorating" (the 89th birthday one).

By the way, I have a t-shirt that says "5 out of 4 people have a problem with fractions"...stole it from my sister. :)

WV: sheds--where some of these cakes should have been put

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDonna M.

These are my favorite kind of wrecks! Woot!

I'm so old. I Googled "totes redonk." And hen I Googled "Schwager House." Wanna know what they are? "Totally ridiculous" and a frat. Yay!

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hmmm, I always heard that 8/5ths of all statistics were made up... Interesting...

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDerek

Like, oh my god, we need Jen to record the audio commentary! Please?

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That last cake is lovely, aside from the lettering failure.

I'd always heard the joke as, "There are 3 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand math, and those who don't."

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

And is that parsley I see on that first cake? Like I mean... parsley?

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdandy

OMGosh that was totally Great! I love it! I was laughing so hard my cat looked at me like I was crazy!! Thanks for the laugh!!

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMonica

Ahhh...Suzanne :) beat me to the binary joke.

Amy Raz

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Do you watch Mel B on the Style Channel? This happened to her on the last episode. She wanted "Pheonix" in the middle of the cake and they wrote "Pheonix in the middle". I blame her husband, he ordered it. But really? why are bakeries so dumb???

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterteri

Well, 77% of people will believe anything with a statistic. And did you know that 94% of those stats are made up on the spot?

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

What no sprinkles?

Oh well congratualtions flower.

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterARM

The posts on this blog are always funnier than the cakes.....and some cake are pretty darn funny. Thanks for all the laughs.

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterOmbaker

I just cannot believe that there are so many people as stupid as that. I'm thinking that the customers purchasing those cakes just irritated the bakers and the bakers said, 'Here you go you nasty customer! Here's exactly what you asked for!'

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBobbie

I don't know if this was your intention, but I read that whole thing hearing Brittany from Daria would say it.

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterderomanticize

It makes me wonder why people continue to read this blog if they don't get it?

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercpeep

Hey, Thanks, that sure helped! And I take it someone's substituting for you cos you are both on a cruise, right? {bright grin!}

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVK

@Anon at 9:46- see, and I felt redonk because I understood the whole thing without having to go to Urban Dictionary. Course I have a preteen in the house, so perhaps I have an excuse...

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterthesacredandtheprofane

@suzanne
OMG that's the most hilarious math joke ever. I'm cracking up here!

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterstitch, philadelphia

@suzanne. Hilarious math joke. I'm cracking up here.

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterstitch, philadelphia

You have "humor-challenged readers?" If they're humor-challenged, why are they reading this blog? They probably don't even *know* they're humor-challenged. Now that's sad.

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSaralyn

I so know a girl like your intern. Wow, like, totally pathetic, right, ya know?

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Painful, just painful --- I could hear those words being spoken as I read... I think I need some cake to get over my pain...

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDonkaloosa

And so, oh, my Go$h! Readers who have a problem with today's post need to rent a clue. TOTALLY! Okay, okay, okay. So, I mean like... yeah.. like, get a life. fur sher...

Sandy

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSandy C

OH LOOOOORD..... LOL

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMaria

I really hope that these people either
1) do not pay for these cakes
or
2) are given a free 'do over' cake that has been made correctly.

No way would I accept any of these from a bakery.

The last one killed me...both the commentary & the cake.

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

AHHH!! I'm in LOVE with Britney!! This was the funniest entry ever! I could hear her voice and I just about peed myself laughing!
THANK YOU THANK YOU for getting my day off to a roaring start!

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca J-G

Holy moly, the Schwager House cake DOES have parsley on it... makes me wonder what the rolled up yellow things are *shudder*

Also, at the end of the post I totally heard in my head the *dink dink* when a cartoon character blinks blankly after reading Britnee's "Wait."

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChrista

Totes redonk. That made me snort!!

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Not that I doubt these are real but this seems to happen a lot. Was watching a show the other day that the same thing happened and it sure didn't look like they were buying a cake from some low end bakery. They even had the gall to tell the gal that it would take 3 hours to fix the problem. Even I know icing can be scraped off! Scary!!

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh my, Britnee...

are you from my neck of the woods? (that wood being near Hollywood, CA)

everyone around here under the age of 40 --which would be about 8/5 since about 84% of them get plastic surgery-- talk with question marks at the end of every sentence.

like, O.M.G.? this was so funny?? i, like, laughed so hard i almost dropped my Chai Latte???

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRenee H.

soooo...... my brain went completely to american pie..... you know.... "so this one time at band camp (insert ridiculously stupid story here) and it was soooo funny!!!!!!!!! *giggle giggle*"

yeah.... so anyways.... yeah.... lol......

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTerrrs-uh

Math joke saved me at the end ... just barely ... I'm 25, female, and I have never acted/spoken like "Britnee", but - sadly - most of the females my age from middle class America do so the imitation was spot on.

*sigh*

Parents, expect more from your daughters, please. Do not accept this kind of self presentation. It's not cute.

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

>>Did you know that 8/5 of Americans aren't good with fractions?

Yup :) And did you know that people can be divided into three categories? Those who can count and those who can't.

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBluefairy

OMG, Britnee is so totally going to fit in with the rest of the inmates at CW.

May I suggest that one day you post a wreck with an audio button for each CW staff member (Jen, john, #1, Britnee, whoever else hangs out there like the UPS guy). Have each one record the commentary for that cake.

(BTW, we may have a SunDrop cake festival in my town based on yesterday's wedding cake.)

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

I think I must be channeling my inner 12-year-old because when I saw the cake with "#1 on it" I read it as a command and almost shot coffee out of my nose laughing.

I suppose that *is* something you could do to a wreck...

WV= emaye: Emaye be thinking that I can spell "Ashlee," but e'd be wrong.

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenn (dish)

The first cake looks sickly,the one with the fruit?,looks icky,and the "89 in the corner" sounds like a dirty inside joke.
And for those of you devoid of a sense of humor,your life must be empty-So Eat Some Cake!!

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercyndikay

Awesome job, Britnee.

That black object on the second cake (Schwager House All Caps) looks suspiciously like one of the extra-large cockroach bait stations we all have in our kitchens here in South Texas.

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

And that's why I love your posts ... you are funny, being serious, being funny ;) thanks for a laugh! and a few snorts :)

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMorgan

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