My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Crocker & Hines

Have you been the victim of an accident?

Does your child suffer from a trauma induced by a care-giver?

Was your wedding day ruined as a result of negligence?

If the answer is yes, then don't wait another minute. Pick up the phone and call the professionals: Crocker & Hines.

Here at Crocker & Hines we specialize in slip-and-falls,


And all other cake catastrophe claims.

So whether you've been the victim of a simple fracture...

Or major structural malpractice... Crocker & Hines today.

Crocker & Hines: We make Big Cake pay. Guaranteed.

Jessy A., Maria G., Jessica R., Katie M., Margaret B., Anony M., & David P., good news: I hear they also handle torte law!

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Reader Comments (79)

Ouch! These are awful! I hope they got refunds at the least!

Tinu and kristina: A 'torte' is a type of cake, and 'tort law' refers to a type of lawsuit, usually having to do with someone else's negligence, I believe. The 'e' in 'torte' is silent, so they're pronounced the same. Hope that helps!

September 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterseryan

To share my oft repeated question:

And what did the truck look like after the train hit it?

wv: anizinem
which will undoubtedly become the name of some new miracle drug that you can't pronounce

September 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

I really wish you could/would post the names of the bakeries so that others could avoid the same fate! And if I was the bride of #3, I'd have shoved a piece in the bakers face, not the groom's, AFTER I got my money back!

September 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commentery

Haha. I've had to carry TWO wedding cakes now, and both times were probably the most anxious terrifying times of my entire life!" rel="nofollow">Single Dad Laughing

September 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSingle Dad Laughing

"Crocker and Hines got me 2.1 million (sprinkles)!" (old commercial from this guy:

The wedding cake 'cases' make me hyperventilate. Ugh, what disasters.

September 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterladyrazorsharp

thanks a lot seryan and kristina!

September 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTinu

Jen, you make me laugh! It is disturbing the loud cackle I've developed while reading your posts. "Torte law" :-) This is why I read CW daily!

September 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarnie

When my husband talks of tort reform it makes me hungry.

September 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterA Girl In Her Kitchen

And to throw a little filling (instead of gasoline) in the mix...
Tort is also the action of cutting a cake into thin layers in order to add fillings.

To tort or not to tort.... THAT's the question!

September 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercraftinqueen

As a lawyer's wife and having had a few law classes myself, I'm am ROFLPMP at your 'torte' law!!

I also am cringing for the poor recipients of these varied cake squooshes.

We attended an outdoor wedding wich featured a very tall, spindly cake, that decided to topple in the very light wind. Can we say lack of support?


September 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It's so unfortunate that #4 and #7 actually could've been un-wrecky cakes if it wasn't because of their injuries.

The rest of them I believe got luckier as they could apologize saying "Well it was an ugly cake already so not much was lost"

shlownc.- jewish interjection on the sight of a cakewreck.

September 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLen

I'm not a professional baker, but I have made cakes that have melted due to heat. So sad, but so funny!

September 7, 2010 | Unregistered

They made people PAY for those?!

September 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterflarglepuf

One of the funniest commentaries ever!!! Couldn't y'all make a video for a commercial (1-800-CWRECKS????

September 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPat

some of those certainly are sue worthy

September 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

A couple of these remind me of that line from Disney's Sleeping Beauty. "Of course, it will be much stiffer after it's baked!"

September 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

Yeah, as I was reading the post I was hearing it in my head with the voices of the Ghostbusters! Remember the commercial they made for their business?

September 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I am laughing so hard I can't breathe.. Cake and Hines lol..I would wonder if the people that dropped off those cakes actually ran off like a flash once they saw how ruined they were. I know I would be pretty mad if I ordered a beautiful cake and then came.. those. Doom would follow.

September 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

If you refer your friends and relatives, do they give you a Sunday Sweet deal?

WV: undst - I just don't undst-nd how some of these people get paid to make cakes...

September 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

Even wittier than normal

September 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSandi

Oh my goodness! I had to literally laugh out loud at this post, simply because I have a friend, J. Crocker, who just got married to a woman with the name of E. Hines!!! Their cakes were awesome (and tasty!) and I just couldn't help but giggle! Here are a couple pics, just because I'm still giggling!

Crocker is a serious Jeep fanatic;

And their wedding cake! (a slight wreck... just a bit, it's in the details really.)

I just wanted to share :)

September 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCaseyK

#1 Is that a black forest cake? If so, it looks like Malraux enjoyed it rather more than Sartre's first attempt.

#2 It's a CCC (patooie!). That's trauma enough for anyone.

#3 Is that seaweed?! @SuBee, that was a honey of a comment.

#4 Oh for a picture (better: video) of the faceplant that produced this result.

#5 This is probably not the kind of settlement clients of Crocker & Hines have in mind.

#6 I'm engaged, so this one just makes me shudder. Don't think I'll be telling my sweetheart about CW until *after* the wedding -- she's jumpy enough as it is.

#7 "I know I said I needed it 'right away', but I don't think the skid-turns were necessary."

Crocker & Hines might face competition from Baskin, Robbins & Carvel, but that firm specializes in frozen assets.

September 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Sue a wreckorater? I like that idea, considering some of the things I've seen on this site. How to make them pay for ruining your happy day. That should be a slogan for your team.

September 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commentershikishinobi

Wow Nice cakes

September 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTechnical guy

My word verification was cough (really!). Ahem, excuse me, gotta clear my throat *cough**cough*. Whoo boy! Where to begin...

Cake #1 looks like the bride shoved new hubby’s face right in it after she found out about him and her best friend. Perhaps someone took a couple fistfuls to start a food fight?

Even if Cake #2 hadn’t slid all over the place, it was still a CCC (haaaawk patooie) – doomed from the start. Was it supposed to be a seashell? Poor birthday girl.

Cake #3 seems like it’s still in a kitchen, so perhaps the bakery took a picture of their “oopsie” and sent a replacement. I’d really like to think that. Let’s go with that. I’m optimistic. It looked like it was a nice smooth cake, but still...what’s up with the lettuce/seaweed strips? LOL, I like the Stay-Puff marshmallow man reference!

Cake #4 is a just shame because it wasn’t wrecky before that.

Cake #5 – ugh. I’m not much for coconut cake anyway.

Cake #6 again, a simple, pretty cake, but oops. Was the tablecloth all “scrunchy” to offset the crack in the cake or did the cake slip and the tablecloth went with it?

Cake #7 looks like it was in a hot car too long. Why is there a dark green airbrushed square on the side of a blue & white cake (with yellow & pink accents)? Yuck.

September 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ha! After spending hours decorating my son's Lightning McQueen cake, I put it in the cold oven to keep the cats away until party time. Then I preheated the oven to cook a pizza and forgot the cake until I smelled the oh-so lovely aroma of melting plastic from my cake board. My twice-baked cake survived, albeit a little crunchy. ;)

September 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlyssa

Hahaha brilliant post!

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDanika

awww that's so sad... i would def cry

check out my blog:

September 10, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter~Nikki~

Wow... I didn't know that Betty and Duncan started a law firm! Is the Pillsbury dough-boy their law clerk? LOL


September 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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