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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Jan202011

A Day In The Life

Jen and I are often asked what it's like to be "professional" bloggers. How do we spend our days? Do we have a swimming pool filled with gold coins? Are there fantastic parties and gourmet ketchups? The answer to all these questions is yes. Jen even has a green dress. (But not a real green dress. That's cruel.)

That doesn't mean it's all fun and games, though. Sometimes we take naps.

In fact, I think I'll keep a diary for a day, just so you can see firsthand the "glorious life" of the "Professional Blogger." Enjoy!

------------------------------------------

1:00 pm - Woke up to cats hammering on door and yowling. Note to self: get thicker door. Also, new cats.

"Mrow?"

1:35 pm - Cats' yowls going super sonic. Ear plugs ineffective. Time for the Super Soaker.

"Mruh Mroh."

2:10 pm - Jen's awake. Cats are hiding. I ask in my best Kirk impression (complete with hand gestures), "JEN! Are... you... readytobe... funny? We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill!"

Jen:

Note to self: Avoid Kirk impressions before Jen's fully awake.

3:45 pm - Checked on Jen in the office. She has 27 browser tabs open and is humming "Loathing." So far, so good.

5:20 pm - Jen comes out of her office to reheat some "breakfast."

Pizza and Maalox: breakfast of champions.

7:20 pm - A yell from the office: "Oy! What're some puns for 'lactating?'"

7:32 pm - Final tally: Milking it, so cheesy, really sucks, staying abreast of the whole situation, whipped into a frenzy, creamy complexion, skim off the top, nipped a pair of area oreos

8:15 pm - Maniacal laughter coming from office.

8:21 pm
- Loud sobs coming from office.

8:30 pm
- Colorful swearing coming from office. Huh. Rapid mood swings may indicate low blood sugar. I bring Jen a cookie.

Effect is immediate. "Ohh, and also 'eat, drink, and be dairy!'"

10:45 pm - Heading to McDonald's for lunch.

Thank goodness we're not food bloggers. (Oh. Wait...)

12:20 am- Break time. Watching Castle with Jen.

*snorfle*

2:15 am- Jen heads back to the office. I'm off to bed.

(This was supposed to say "Just because." Seriously.)

3:35 am - Woken by a loud yell. Rushed out to find Jen staring horror-struck at a new e-mail:

"Why? WHY?!?"

4:04 am - Convinced Jen to come to bed. She lies in the dark, muttering, "Can't sleep. Lobster in blond wig will eat me."

I think it's going to be another long night.



Thanks to Lyle, James, Alistair, Carissa, Amanda M., Helen W., Elizabeth M., Kristin S., Eilen, Tyler O., Dana S., & Beatrice Y., for helping us avoid "real" jobs. Now: nap time!

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  • Response
    Hi, i read your blog from time to time and i own a similar one and i was just wondering if you get a lot of spam remarks? If so how do you stop it, any plugin or anything you can advise? I get so much lately it's driving me insane ...

Reader Comments (119)

I thought the "just bed" was supposed to be "just dance," which made me happy for a moment.

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

I was enraptured by "Just Bed"...

till I scrolled down.
*shudders*

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

What no Monkey cake? Haven’t you always wanted a mon-key!?

Thanks for all the laughs over the years.

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBJ

Amazing. And I thought all you guys did all day was eat bon bons and make each other laugh.

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCantStopBaking

Nice to see your days are filled with sleeping sometimes! :) Love Bed!

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMeghan @ Domestic Sugar

I'll probably get nightmares, too. But my cat is way awesome-er than those cakes. But really. That pizza(was dat a cupcake cake!?) and burger were jacked-up bad!
-B

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Jen's not the only one who's going to have nightmares about lobsters in blonde wigs.

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBigMomma

ROCK LOBSTER!!! Down, down...

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDanger Boy

OMG! That lobster...monstrosity...is unbelievable. Those suckers are huge!

I'm actually hoping hard they're real lobsters. Because the thought of somebody making such realistic lobsters out of cake, and then arranging them like that (complete with wig and...smoking cigar?) is too freaky. But making an arrangement like that (complete with wig and...smoke bomb?) seems completely rational (in comparison).

Thanks for the glimpse into your...remarkable...lifestyle =).

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That lobster cake is nightmare fuel!

Also, could they have shoved any more frosting on that pizza CCC? I think I'd go into sugar shock just by smelling it.

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Black Dog

BARE NAKED LADIES WIN!

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFysh Phoenix--

NOT THE INFAMOUS WIGGED LOBSTER!!!

Yeah, no; you guys totally have the life. Sitting by the pool, long naps, gourmet food...lobster, anyone?

Thanks for the hilarious post!

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

As a Canadian, I appreciate the BNL reference! :D

The cakes lately have been SUPER creepy. Good thing I don't read your posts at night, otherwise I'd probably have nightmares!

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

nice BNL reference there. Do you have a million dollars yet?

Um, yeah, lobster in a wig? Scary!!

And is it just me, or is that some kind of chain and NOT edible dragees on the castle cake?

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

Has anyone else noticed the Jamie Hyneman (lookalike?) in the background of the Lobster cake picture? Freaky!

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTracy A

I want to see a cake of John Merick's remains (all them crazy elephant bones). ;)

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenn T.

Mad props for the Barenaked Ladies references, and I don't mean the lactation jokes, iyouknowwhaddimean!

WV: brandi - a fine girl

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenniffer

That cake wasn't suppose to say "just because" obviously it was SUPPOSED to say "just epcot..." any-who awesome insight into your daily lives, thanks again

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVeggieT

i just want you to know that i am sitting by myself laughing myself to tears in a coffee shop, looking like a crazy person. i hope you're happy.

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAshley P

Castle cake: why sugar cubes? What is on top? Why does it say "ooo Poop" on it?

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKevin Phair

Okay, what the heck is that 3rd one supposed to be???? I looked close, at a distance, with one eye, went back for another take, and I still cannot figure it out.

And the Blonde lobster and her/his troup of acrobat cheerleader lobsters. I will never be able to look at lobsters the same again.

Thank you:-)

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSandy C also in SoFla

Isn't that the guy from Myth Busters in the background behind the Lobster Tower of Nightmares?

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Shoot to kill! I loved this post, so funny.

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAdorably Dead

I love the fact that you get to sleep until 1:00 in the afternoon.

If that is suppose to be a cat in the first picture, WHAT are the round pink things on it's forehead? Stubs from the horns that were ripped off? I'm getting images of Hellboy here.

Sharon's Edible Art

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

I think you should do an entire post in "Kirk Speak," just bed I'd like it.
Thank you

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Oh, I hope those are real lobsters because surely they didn't put KALE on a cake! But since this is CAKE Wrecks, I'm guessing that is actually a cake. Seriously, Kale tastes nasty on a salad, so let's put it on a cake!

And really, sugar cubes?? Really

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCustom Cakes by Penny

SPOT ON with the Bare Nakes Ladies reference!! You guys make my day!

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJen_in_Kansas

Yay Barenaked Ladies reference. That made me happy.

And that lobster pile up is scary...

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAllie

@Sandy: I'm guessing the third cake is supposed to be a horse.

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

"Theeeeeeeeeere's Klingons on the starboard bow - scrape 'em off, Jim!"

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think "Can't sleep, lobster with blonde wig will eat me" needs to be the next big internet meme. I'm just sayin'.

Btw- BNL references FTW!

Haven't you always wanted a mon-KEY?!?!

WV: wheemen- never go swimmin with bowlegged wheemen...

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterthesacredandtheprofane

I think that third one is Bad Horse.

Humming "Loathing" ...funny! I can be caught humming Loathing now and then, also the Bad Horse song.

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

And then there's reading all those comments!

Thanks for the laughs!

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkerosene

Any post that starts off with a BNL reference is bound to be awesome. :)

ROFL!!! Please find the story behind that lobster cake!!!

Btw I like Castle too. Think Beckett and Castle will finally get together this season?

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterToriisen

Is Cake #2 really a cat? I thought it was a polar bear with yellow trim. Or maybe a poodle.

Is that lobster "cake" made with real lobsters?

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Aw. If I had a million dollars, I'd fly to Florida and stalk y'all. (See, and now you know I'm from Texas). I'm also skipping the 99 cent pizza at work today - thanks.

-K-dogg

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yum!All the fanciest DIJON ketchups! And do you have a Picasso or a Garfunkle?

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAdrienne

Soooo many thoughts. Let me essplain... no, there is too much. Let me sum up.

Great BNL reference.

My alarm cat, Inigo, is also in hiding until he dries off.

Our favorite lactation joke involves calling the "La Leche League" the "La Leaky League."

Next on Mythbusters, we tackle the myth of the chain-smoking, post-coital lobsters.

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn in Superior

The Barenaked Ladies reference made me smile this morning!

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEG

I didn't see anywhere in your post where you were gonna eat Kraft dinner... and then eat some more with your dijon ketchups.... :)

The lobsters. I was laughing till I was horrified by the lobsters.

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Dr. Demento WIN!

Lobster cake...fai...wi..fwin? Being from a beach resort town, I kind of like it.

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJiniZ

I think cake 3 is an angry bull.

Can't work out *what* is going on with that castle cake, though. Sugar cubes? Well at least they're edible, unlike the wrapping of - is that the bobbly chain stuff you get on bathplugs? Surely not. And is that jam on top of the turrets?

And what on earth is up with the figures on the top? What is the front one in the fright mask doing ? Whatever it is, the one behind really wishes he wasn't there to see it.

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

Great, now I'M going to have nightmares. *shudder*

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChristy

This was highly entertaining. My reaction to the lobster cake was the same as Jen's (though if those lobsters actually are made of cake I would actually eat them, as opposed to real lobsters).

Oh, and extra cool points for being Castle fans. :D

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

I thought the burger was supposed to be a planet?!? :)

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRuthie

Castle!!! Yay you watch Castle...and that lobster cake is going to give me nightmares!

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Whoa!You guys are total night owls!I totally missed that you guys woke up at 1 PM until Sharon pointed it out. Thanks for making me feel better about my own sleeping habits. :)

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLynalysa

Is the lobster thing really a cake?

I'm pretty sure that those are real. I've worked with lobsters before and those just look too perfect to be fake. (The rubber band marks on their claws are a detail I wouldn't have expected if they weren't real.)

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDaniel

*Wiping yogurt off the screen*
Seriously.

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHelena

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