My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Columbus Day!

Many years ago, some guy somewhere decided that Columbus Day and Canadian Thanksgiving should be on the same day. Did this guy take into account that this might be terribly inconvenient for future cake blogs? Of course not. However, since we did Canadian Thanksgiving cakes last year, I figured we'd do Columbus Day cakes this year. After all, we don't want to offend our Colombian readers.

Right then.
Bring on the Columbus Day cakes!

[furiously flipping through 17,000 cakes]
[pursing lips]
[steepling fingers]
[sighing resignedly]

Right then.
Bring on the Canadian Thanksgiving cakes!

Okay, that's weird. This one looks a lot like poo.


Huh. So does this one.


I'm definitely seeing a trend here.


In fact, if I didn't know better...

And so, in conclusion: all turkey cakes look like poo.

Happy Thanksgiving, Canada.


 Also, in the words of the famous Canadian actor, Jeff Goldblum*:

"Heeeelp meeeee!" [bzzzt bzzzt]


*Citation needed.

Thanks to Melissa R., Courtney B., Monica P.,  Aaron, Elaine M., Katey S., Kelli E., Marcy P., Paula W., and Vicky J. for letting us see a turkey fly.

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Reader Comments (86)

Oh. Yuck. They DO look like poo. I have 4 dogs and have to clean up the yard, I know what poo looks like --- exactly like these cakes. This just might be the post that turns me off of eating cake FOREVER. Thanks, Jen... (And to think I used to LOVE cake...)

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDonkaloosa

poo turkeys, mmmmm and I think JG is from Pittsburgh.

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkim

Even though the actual turkey looks like poo, I think the second to the last one was gorgeous.

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

Actually, they look like flaming poo. I'm happy to see all these bakers are following the food guidelines for cooking poultry thoroughly. With Halloween approaching, I can just picture someone putting a flaming poo turkey on a doorstep, ringing the bell, and running away.

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

The third one from the, um, bottom also resembles intestines. Which I guess is appropriate.

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNYCGirl

eeew and gross! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertiny p elephant

A few of these look like Mr Hankey in Halloween costumes.

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSandy C Also in So Fla

Thank goodness I didn't make cake for dessert for Thanksgiving. I don't think I'd be able to eat it now.

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKrista

Totally scatological. I only just realized turkeys are "Fall-colored" peacocks with dangles down from their head instead of up.

bzzt bzzt

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Oh dear. On the second to last one, the turkey "neck" also has two circular swirls at its, um, base... O.o

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJeanne

Phew...! What is that fowl smell......? Gotta love a good poo cake! And for the was David Hedison in the original movie (1958) -- not a very high-tech film, but scared the crap (in keeping with today's theme) out of a young boy......

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermel

Reminds me of the Human Centipede movies, and no, you definitely do not want to know.

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBea

Oh my...I love chocolate, but these cakes look nasty D:

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMINDY1

Nasty, crappy, piles of doo-doo cakes. Ug.
Anyone got a fork?? ;-)

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Obviously, they are turdkeys.

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterpellegrinch

Jeff Goldblum is from Pittsburgh!

[Editor's note- Actually, I'm pretty sure he's from Canada. I definitely read it somewhere on the internet. -john]

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterweimar

Even my 10 year old son said they were all gross. That says volumes.

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Wow, making all those cakes must have been a big job.....

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

Um I think I'll stick with real turkeys lol

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAntique Wedding Rings

If you look at the third one carefully, he appears to be giving a campaign speech. His right hand (wing) is pointing and his left is giving a thumbs up. When you think about it, a turkey running for office is way too common,.

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Heh, John, I totally thought you were going to say, "...on a steeek" after that first one!
(In case you don't know what I'm talking about, Google Jeff Dunham)

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Ever since I began reading Cake Wrecks, I don't think I have looked at a cake picture on here that the chocolate frosting does NOT look like dog crap. :(

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterShannon Hunter

"Well, HOWDY HO!!"

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLulu

I knew there was a reason I was in the mood to listen to Rush today! (Canada, not poo!)

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie B.

I always know Fall is here when these start showing up!

Nice post, John (hubby of Jen)!

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh524

So over the weekend I thought I'd make some chocolate cupcakes with chocolate frosting. I love to make my cupcakes look pretty so I used my decorating kit and the first few looked really cute. As I went on....I had a flashback to some of your previous poo cake posts and realized I was committing the same mistake. So yeah.....I totally make my cupcakes look as non-poo like as possible.

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

That first "if I didn't know better" poo pile appears to be a poo pile wearing a lei and a grass skirt. Anyone? No? Just me?

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

It's a conspiracy. You see, the Turkeys want us to associate eating turkey with eating poo. Then we'll stop buying turkey. Don't give in. Don't stop buying turkey. Don't... *takes another look at the cakes* Rats. They got to me. This Thanksgiving we'll eat hamburgers. At least those can't be made to look like poo. Right? Right?!!!!

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTechyDad

I'm CAN'T be the only one who saw the second to last turkey and saw something... well... cocky I think is word I'm looking for.

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKatja

Hahahaha, as a Colombian reader, I thank you for being considerate enough to not want to offend us. And I am SO GLAD that you spelled "Colombian" correctly!

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaura C

They DO look like Mr Hankey! Um I also think that many of them also look a heck of a lot like something R-rated. Maybe I'm just a dirty, dirty Canadian. *hangs head in shame*

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

On top of Columbus Day and Canada's thanksgiving, today also happens to be national cake decorating day! jen, you should try to create national cake wreckorating day, it would be a big hit.

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnnemarieM

Well, Pittsburgh has hockey so I guess that's close enough to Canada, and apparently Mr. Goldblum is a particularly relevant choice:

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlen

i think that second to last one looks like a penis shaped out of poo. i just ruined my lunch.

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commentervanessa

I'm suspecting that Columbus Day cakes in general don't exist because it's such a politically incorrect holiday these days.

Also, it's extremely sad that these adults can't make a turkey beyond the level of what you'd expect from a kindergarten class, made with a tracing of a hand and all.

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMisty

I think these might be Mr. Hanky's family, his uncle, Mr. Dick Hanky, the Thanksgiving poo, and the cousins, from the Poo side of the family(and may also be related to, but all have denied a kinship with Mr. Nutty Dump)...but these cakes seem to scream..."Howdy-ho",

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

Have you ever seen a turkey? They are not pretty.

The second cake? Psychedelic pooh. Flaming psychedelic pooh

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEvalyn

Actually, my friend and I decided that Columbus wasn't much of a hero, so we renamed the holiday. It's now George Lucas Day. 'Cuz he's way cooler.

Happy George Lucas Day everyone!

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMe

I also thought if turkeys evolved to look like poo, we'd stop eating them. But if they did look like poo, I think people would probably still go out of their way to kill them, so there's no way the turkeys could win this one. I mean, aren't you offended enough by the looks of these cakes to want to destroy (though not necessarily eat) them all?

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjj

It is not widely known, but turkeys and poo are key characters in a Sir Arthur Conan Doyle short story. Though seldom anthologized, the story, “The Case of the Irritable Fowl Syndrome,” centers on an evil turkey farmer who feeds his flock laxatives in order to keep them thin, thus thwarting the local town’s plan for a Thanksgiving feast. No one can understand what’s happening and the mayor calls in Sherlock Holmes to get to the bottom, so to speak, of this. With the help of Dr. Watson, he does, and, of course, it all ends well. Pleased that the turkeys were cured, Dr. Watson proudly proclaimed, in a phrase tht later became somewhat pejorative, “No sh*t, Sherlock.”
It was in this story that Holmes first uttered his famous catchphrase, which, unfortunately, has been misquoted ever since: “Why, it’s alimentary, my dear Watson.”

[Editor's note- Man, I take a nap for a little while and I come back to find this. Genius. Pure genius. -john]

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermel

Actually, my friend and I decided that Columbus wasn't much of a hero, so we renamed the holiday. It's now George Lucas Day. 'Cuz he's way cooler.

Happy George Lucas Day everyone!

I have two replies to that. First, are we sure it wasn't George Lucas himself who went back and changed the holiday? Thanks to the magic of digital editing, Columbus' journey took them by some really fantastic looking sea-creatures. Including one that looks suspiciously like Jar-Jar Binks.

My second reply is... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTechyDad

I really liked the cake that was in pink tones. It still has the Thanksgiving feeling, but with a feminine flare, which is great for a girl with a Thanksgiving birthday!


October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDenise

The turkey faces look like Mr Hankie "The Christmas Poo" from South Park! LOL

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterReets

My 10 year old has some words of wisdom:: "Bakers should stay away from making anything that requires brown frosting."

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commentergabsmom

Can we just outlaw brown frosting? Cause no matter what you do with it, it LOOKS LIKE POO.

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJulie R

@mel makes an excellent case for pun control. [grin]

Jeff Goldblum is from Pittsburgh, according to the seconds I spent scanning Dogpile (my favorite search engine, the name of which just happens to tie into today's theme). Although I have seen him in a Canadian-produced TV series: 'Ray Bradbury Theater'. Are we trying to start an EPCOT here, John (thoJ)?

#1 The 'eat ham not turkey' sign is pretty much redundant.

#3 looks like a TV network logo. Just sayin'. One may read into that anything one likes.

#4... Make it stop.

#5 I'm pretty sure the wattles on a turkey don't look like that. (I had to pick something, ok?) I researched 'wattles' on Wikipedia and found out about ten times more than I ever wanted to know.

I think Jeff Goldblum said it best when he said, "[unintelligible] chaos theory." That's a direct quote from 'Jurassic Park'.

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I LOVE the Sherlock Holmes story - clears up so many misconceptions......alimentary indeed!

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjean burke

Well, I don't know, that second to last one looked kinda like a snail covered by an ugly doily....

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNyx

That first one made me think of the eye of sauron when i saw the thumbnail on facebook.

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkhyrra

My excellent turkey cakes are all huddled in a corner and are crying inside after seeing those cakes.

How come making a turkey is so hard?

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

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