And now, a note from Jen's mom:
Jennifer tells me I have to use the funny cake pictures.
[You're doing fine, mom.]
Are you coming to Jennifer's little book parties? She's been working so hard on them, even though I told her that probably nobody is going to come.
But I told her, I said, "Just because people don't want to see you doesn't mean you're a failure. Maybe everybody's busy! Maybe they're at their mothers'! Who am I to say? What do I know?"
All I know is that all of my friends already have grandchildren.
It's hard for me to tell them that my Jennifer apparently doesn't love me enough to give me grandbabies.
[Mom! This is not the time.]
Fine! Fine, I'll change the subject.
So, I remember Jennifer's first period...
What? I'm telling a story! Well, anyway, she cried for days. It was terrible. And the clots...oh my goodness...
Okay, okay! Well. If you blog people aren't visiting your mothers on the night of Jennifer's little party, maybe you could go. Who knows? It might be fun. And if not, at least you'll know you did something nice for my baby.
Oh, and also:
Wait. That's not the right cake. Jennifer, sweetie, how do I put up the "Thank You" cake?
[Don't worry, Mom. I'll just put that in later.]
Thanks to Erin B., Kelly W., Ryan H., B.I., Anne S., and Jen's mom, who would obviously never write something like this and is an awfully good sport.