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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Nov012011

You Remind Me of the Babe

Warning:  This post is pretty disturbing.  Maybe skip it.  You have been warned.


 

 

 

"What babe?"

The babe with the power.

"What power?"

 

THE POWER TO GIVE YOU NIGHTMARES FOR THE REST OF YOUR NATURAL LIFE.

"Oh. THAT babe."

 

And before you ask...

Yes, it's cake.

 

Yes, it's a baby shower cake.

Yes, it's red velvet.

And yes, THIS is where the mom-to-be made the first slice:

 

Thanks to "army wife," who'd rather have that baby in front of me than a frontal lobotomy - but I am SO not cooperating. STAY BACK, woman. I mean it!

 

UPDATE: The baker has spoken!! And as you'd expect, she has a wicked sense of humor and is pretty darn awesome. So let's all give a rousing wrecky welcome to Jana of Jana's Fun Cakes! Check her site for a creepy dummy/marionette cake, too.

Oh, and to answer your questions regarding that cup in the last photo, Jana says:

"the goop in the cup is corn syrup and food coloring, meant for added slime."

Good to know.



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Reader Comments (393)

I saw the first picture and said (in my office) (out loud), "Oh no." And as I scolled down, all I could do was continue the horrified chant, "Oh, no no no no no...NOOOO!"

This is worse than the meatloaf baby. This is worse than...anything here on earth.

Congratulations, Mommy-to-be! Hope your baby lives!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Yup, nightmare material all right. *runs screaming*

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterleorising

Oh. My. God. I don't think there are words. Though, shouldn't this have fallen into October's terrifying cakes? I will admit - the detail is amazing. Creepy and horrifying, but very, um, detailed.

Wow. *Toddling off to bang my head against the wall*

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

The following post is almost certainly in poor taste; I blame my upbringing, in which I frequently encountered mechanics and school-age boys.

Ahem.

What's grosser than gross?
A pile of dead babies.
What's grosser than that?
The live one at the bottom.
What's even grosser than that?
He's eating his way to freedom.
What's the grossest thing of all?
He came back for seconds.
What's somehow even grosser than that?
Scroll up a bit.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

bluurrrggghhhh! Feel sick, there is nothing redeeming about that cake! Why would someone order it, why would someone make it, why would they make it blue, why would she cut the head off instead of throwing the cake at the person who ordered it!!!!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLouise

So very disturbing. However....
0 more days! Jen and John are in Toronto tonight!!!

Ending my wrecky countdown to this awesome event to the tune of Amy Grant's "Baby Baby":

Baker Baker
However this trend started
Please stop making these babies look “departed”

Baker Baker
I would tell you if I could
Just ‘cause you can so does not mean that you should

Stop for a minute, baker, I don’t mean to whine
But whoever ordered this didn’t know what they were buying
I’m sure the mom-to-be is huddled in the corner crying…

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

This is the most horrifying cake I've ever seen. I think I would cry if I had a cake like this at my baby shower. The baby looks dead.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMary P

Ewwwwww!!! I'm going to have to go watch the Carrot Jockey video about a dozen times to get that image out of my head.

While the slight blue tinge can be normal immediately after birth, I really wish the decorator had decided to give the newborn a rosier complexion. Most babies 'pink up' nicely after their first couple of breaths.

When we plan the baby shower for my niece, I'm going to insist on a sheet cake with alphabet blocks saying 'welcome' or something equally innocuous!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLady C

I have to agree with the second comment - Peggy RN - when I was the support person at the birth of my nephew I was shocked at how lifeless he looked as he was born. I had five children of my own at that point in time but had never had the "opportunity" to be on the receiving end of a delivery! I was SO relieved when he "pinked up" and it was then that the nurse handed him to his mother.
I still would Never want to see this cake in person, much less at a shower. Just not much of a human or animal cake fan.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKaren.Valinda

Horrifying.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEG

No post about NaNoWriMo? And I thought you were a geek!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMe

Okay, I've never been pregnant, but if it was my baby shower, that cake would've made me lose my lunch if I had to cut it. Preferably all over the cake so no one else would have to see it or eat it. Of course, that assumes I wouldn't immediately run screaming from the room.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAJ

That cake is very upsetting, and makes me think of friends who miscarried babies.

Just, wow.

Badly done, baker. Badly done.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterania

I love the mom's freaked-out looking hand in the last picture. "Oh my God, what have I done!!???"

Bakers, just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

W O W
The pregnant belly cakes...just silly
Pregnant belly cake that had that jello mold on it...silly & a little gross
Meatloaf baby...gross
This cake just topped all of them as the most gross, wrong, disturbing and gut-wrenching!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

Badbadbadbadbadbad.

There are somethings you see that you wish you could unsee. This is one of those.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLizzyland

So..... DISTURBING
So..... WRONG
What in the world is WRONG with people anyway??? Who, who I say, thought this would be a good idea????!!!!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

This #$!@ needs to stop! WTF are people thinking?

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCC

AAAAUUUGGGGGGHHHH D: D: WHAT WERE THEY THINKING????

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMINDY1

I would hope to god that my baby never looked like that when he or she came out of the womb. Because that is terrifying. It looks dead! Why the blue? Why on a metal tray, dear god, that makes it even worse because it looks like a medical tray and aughhhhh that's awful.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKirsten D.

This has to be the most horrifying and disgusting cake I've ever seen on CW. Not a good concept, terribly realistic execution (sorry, unfortunate choice of words there), and who thought it a good idea to cut into it at all! Note to bakers around the world: Blue is not a good color for a newborn baby! Make the baby pink, make the baby red, but don't make it blue.

@zoomom: Awesome song lyrics - now, if only the bakers will heed your advice...

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnne-Marie

What the #%@&^ is WRONG with people. That is seriously effed up. If any wrecked cake is going to give me nightmare, this is the one. *I feel sick*

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

Guys...

I don't get it. You will happily eat little animals and people in the shape of cakes, so what is the big fudging deal about a baby-shaped cake.

It's CAKE!!!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBernadette

I'm seriously having to hold down the vomit. That is one of the most horrifying things I've ever seen in my life.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Hmm...Bog of Eternal Stench or an Oubliette? I'm going to vote putting this in an Oubliette so we can forget about it!!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMissy

Despite the pictures of that VERY disturbing cake, and the picture of the mother's even more disturbing lack of judgment, I still have the following words running through my head:

"You remind me of the babe." "What babe?" "The babe with the power." "What power?" "The power of voodoo." "Who do?" "Do what?" "Remind me of the babe."

Such is the power of Jareth.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

I know there was a "Labyrinth" reference, but this is making me think of Jerome Bixby's short story "It's a Good Life." (An excellent but massively creepy story, ultimately made into a Twilight Zone episode.) The last picture even shows a picture of the hand of a woman recoiling in terror, right before the newly-birthed thing disappears her to the cornfield. I know if this "baby" opened its eyes it would have a bright, wet, purple gaze.

I never thought I'd say this, but could you please post a creepy clown cake instead?

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! ARRRRGGGHHH! That thing is very very disturbing. WHY would anyone make such a (well-made) cake that looks like a dead baby?? My brother was blue when he was born (cord wrapped around his neck). Thankfully he is now most definitely not blue and he's nearly 2 years old, and very much alive. Unlike this cake.... That poor mother :(

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLucy

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdebs

I know it's been said a bunch of times, but BLUE?? And I agree about the tray, the first slice, and pretty much everything said about the cake in the comments so far. It's so wrong on so many levels. What were they thinking?!! Cakes should be cake-shaped. Especially when babies are involved.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

An amazing cake that is probably EXACTLY what they ordered. Which brings up my question: which person needs the most psychological help?
a. the cake artist
b. the person who placed the order
c. the expectant mother
d. the people attending the shower
e. the people who read Cake Wrecks
f. all of the above

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVanessa

I was also super psyched about the Labyrinth reference...which made the reality all the more shocking. I am expecting my son any day now and if that cake was presented to me in any way, shape or form during my pregnancy it would be UNFORGIVABLE. Granted the cake is super realistic but that just makes it worse! Yikes!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCR

What horrifies me slightly more than slicing into a cake that looks like a stillborn baby, is the thought of slicing into one that looks like a LIVE baby.

You know, in Cake Wrecks horrors not yet created, bakers are dreaming of a way to animate cakes so the baby's foot is kicking, or an octopus cake has moving tentacles, or some such. [shuddering] I bet within 3 years, we'll see it.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBeverly Diehl

Aaaaahhhhh!!!!

I wasn't even warned! MY EYES!!! MY BRAIN!!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterErica

I always go for the slice with the most icing, so I'll have that first slice, please! Lots and lots of icing on that one! :-d

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJean

This is, honestly, the first time I've ever proclaimed, out loud, SWEET HEAVENS!! Please excuse me while I wash my eyes with bleach....

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKittyKat

I love babies..........but I can never eat a whole one!
And I'll never get tired of that joke as long as you keep posting these types of cakes.
(Blue though? And on a cold,cold tray? Poor baby..)

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

When I had my first miscarriage (I've had 2) my husband wanted to do something to comorate the loss so he ordered a small statue for me. It was supposed to look like a sleeping angel but well it looked almost exactly like this cake only add wings. It was so freaking creepy, it looked like nothing so much as a dead baby. Creeptastic!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDani

You did say "Baby Shower Cake", right? Not "Abortion Cake"...? Sweet Jesus, that is disturbing!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda M.

Oh boy, that is a sure fire way to make sure I don't eat lunch today;p

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersue

Who Is it that thinks these are a good idea? Who is it that thinks that Red Velvet is something you should make these out of? Who thinks Cake is something to make these out of?


GAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!

What ever happened to just making a cake and marking it with a B and putting it in the oven for baby and me?

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

Holy Crap! ahhh Holy Crap!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlabgoddess

So horrified...can't even put a decent comment together... Please? Was it a tacky joke?

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermichelej

Don't panic, everybody, the baby isn't dead. A lot of healthy newborns come out a little blue at first and then pink up a little later. That said, WHAT THE F*CKING F*CK???

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

A baby is not a good subject and blue is definitely the NOT way to go for coloring. The cake layer brain implication, eww.
In all honesty though, it's well made and shows a high level of skill.

Maybe daddy is a blue alien (a la Pandora) and this what the baker thinks their baby will look like. Or maybe in this instance, the cake EATS YOU! Your soul that is. Your delicious, delicious soul.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNick

We lost all power on Saturday an aren't getting it back until Friday, yet I had to use my very limited, thus valuable iPhone time to check out the wrecks. I'm not sure if I'm glad ( I needed the laugh) or just horrified. I think I'll save my valuable battery time by not sending this post to my friend who' s due any minute.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

So the previous post shown on the "More! More! More!" links was prematurely labeled "The Search for the World's Most Disturbing Baby Shower Cake ENDS HERE". That cake was cartoonish--this is quite realistic looking. Right down to leaving the blue baby on the medical tray (instead of resuscitating it), and the presumably coincidental accurate division of the brain lobes when the top of the skull was cut. Maybe someone should have been trying to help poor Elsa instead of goulishly cutting in to her like that...

Will the madness never end? Did this baker get nightmares too?

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTwinMom

The baker obviously has an enormous amount of talent, but... but... but...

Such a waste; such a waste; such a waste.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBerk

Can we put up a poll, so we can vote on whether or not this should stay up on the blog? Not to promote censorship or anything, but this is going to give someone a bad day when they come to the "fun cake blog" and get this... boo.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMabb

Well, um... at least the napkins are pretty.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterwildmaven

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